I'M Baaaack.. PrincessAurora & Catwoman Attack Wilderness Lodge-page 5, now w/ pics

[PrincessAurora]

So after much impatient waiting on my part, I ask the nice lady again about the bus and explain that my friend left her key pass at the hotel. She suggested checking Guest Services and that maybe they could look it up. GENIUS! Why didn’t I think of it? Now I am debating. We could go to Guest Services but if it doesn’t work the bus was sure to come in the meantime….. We decide to risk it. This whole transportation ballet reminds me of “The Amazing Race”. So we get to the window, they use my card to look Catwoman up and Voila! She gets a paper pass! Now it doesn’t have dining on it but since all the credits are pooled, we can use my card. YAY! We enter the park.

We now find that our Mickey’s tend to talk in stereo. They vibrate about the same time and if we don’t press their hands at the same time, they both chatter about the same stuff but a little bit off which is annoying. We head to the safari chanting my mantra of “Don’t Look At The Tree of Life!”

We get in line and end up behind some guy from Fremont (which is in Northern California ) who was separated from his buddies. From what I gathered they were on a bender through Florida on some sort of male bonding escapade. He was nice enough but I could tell that Catwoman who trusts no one (as anyone with a secret identity will tell you) was afraid we would never get rid of him. I figure we would shake him when we got to the jeep. No dice. I get between the feline and the boar. He wasn’t really boorish but it made such a good animal that I couldn’t pass it up. He was more like one of those monkeys, you know the ones – not the wee ones, not the smart ones, maybe the ones with the blue butts who throw poo and get all excitable.

Anyway we saved the day, chased off the poachers and I tell Catwoman of the rides first incarnation when Big Red was shot by the poachers. It was changed as “too traumatic”. Dudes, have any of you Execs ever watched Bambi?! I know, they haven’t. REALLY, they haven’t. Catwoman will back me up on this. She was in a meeting. She takes lots of meetings with Society Playboy Bruce Wayne. Anyway, the vast majority of the people running our company haven’t seen any of the classic movies or maybe saw it once but were too busy talking on their cell phones to pay attention. It boggles the mind.

After the safari the monkey man leaves. Whew. Catwoman was really afraid he would try to stick around and then I would have to change his moniker to Lemur Man or some other clingy type thing. We aren’t into clingy men. We run free. Yeah.

I just hit a road block, a writing one. I made a note in my journal that says “JD plant – barrel”. I have NO idea what it means. It was something on the Pagani Trail, I know that much. I call Catwoman. She has no idea. It will be a mystery for now. Perhaps some things were meant to be that way.

We proceed over to the gorillas. They are the best part however there are not many visible today. That's a shame. As we head out into Harambe we decide to make a pit stop at the Mickey facilities. The first thing I notice is that this bathroom is really slow. I don't know if everyone had to go at the same time or if they just need another facility. It just gets better once I find a stall. It seems the lady next to me likes to talk to herself while she does her business. Now you are saying, "well she probably had a child she was talking to", nope I looked under the stall. Just her and she wasn't talking on a phone even though that is kinda gross. How do I know? Well I wasn't looking over the top although I probably should but I didn't want to land in Mickey Peeping Tom jail. It was what she was saying. It wasn't a string of conversation. It was bits of song lyrics, bits of encouragement, an odd word here and there. And then there was the spray. She must have had disinfectant spray in her purse. I could hear it "ppssttttttt" and then the smell of baby powder and flowers. Was she being considerate or just a little crazy? I mean it wasn't like there was a huge smell or anything. I left the stall right after her to try to get a look. No kid, just saw her back, middle aged, long brown hair, Crocs, could be anyone. Strange.

Catwoman is thirsty so we head over to Asia. I want her to see the Birds of Wonder show. It starts in 15 minutes and I don't want to miss it. We decide to go to the wonderful tea cart. We both get the Jasmine Green Tea. I see they have added more "coffee slushy" machines. I figure, whatever they have to do to keep selling the hand packed teas. I didn't see any Starbucks coffee idiots this time. No "I want a Grande Lo-Fat, Half Cap, Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot and chocolate syrup on the side" people. Remember, go here for GREAT tea. Leave the weird coffee ordering thing at home. This is Disney, they are feeding you Nescafe for gods sakes! NESCAFE: the coffee the tastes just like a brown crayon dipped in hot water! You know why they sell that swill don't you? They get it for free. Same with the Coca-Cola products. Free. The companies get free advertising and a monopoly on the concession and the parks get free product. It's the American way.

Next: the bird show, what is wrong with Flame Tree, don't feed the animals and the monkey riot

 

[PrincessAurora]

We spend a little time in the "secret cool place to drink your coffee".

Head back to the Bird show, pass the coke stand on the left, turn left and go towards the river. There is a cool pergola. Rest and have fun! We manage to relax, drink tea, watch the people in the smokers gulag down river (just like an animal exhibit) and then get back to see the Bird Show just in time.

The bird show was great as usual. If you have an opportunity you really should check it out. The birds are great. My favorite is the bald eagle and the show isn't too sappy. I tell everyone to make this a destination. You should as well.

When we were done, we were a bit peckish and headed over to Flame Tree BBQ. Now I have been eating at Flame Tree for the last two trips. The food has always been great. Ohhhhh, maybe we should have hit Pizzafari for a Chicken Ceaser Salad. I will give pictures and details on my food report but let's just say that the buns need to be warm and a bit soft and these were cold and hard. NOT the way it was in the past. Not so good. Not bad but not great.

As we are sitting on the patio eating our sub-standard pulled pork sandwiches, we start into a discussion on conservation and Disney. You see, it is my opinion that Disney gets a little heavy handed and preachy with the "message" at this park. I recycle and walk and do things to live responsibly just like the next person but I am here to be entertained, not hit over the head with a recycled tofu bat.

Catwoman had a great idea. Disney keeps harping on kids to help save the environment but doesn't tell them HOW. I mean what is little Davie suppose to DO to save a white tiger and how can little Cindy help improve the air. Why not give practical tips of what people and kids can do to help. This helps empower kids and makes them feel they are making a difference instead of just feeling helpless and forgetting as soon as they see a Mickey Bar.

Here is a GREAT example: Parents - don't let your kids feed the animals in Animal Kingdom! There are signs all over the place saying DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. This includes pigeons, ducks, cranes, etc. You can explain that wild birds fly into the park and if we feed them FRENCH FRIES not only is the grease not good for their health, but they become dependent on humans for their food which is NOT a good thing for a wild creature. Also flocks of birds can bring disease. Remember that the birds that fly that belong to Disney are in aviaries. Wild birds can carry West Nile and other nasty icks that can infect these animals. While we can't eliminate the threat all together we CAN help mitigate the problem by not feeding the animals.

How did this start? I saw two kids feeding french fries to some ducks and got on my moral high horse. Catwoman reminded me that I wasn't the Duck Police. I said I should be. I would have a badge and everything plus it is the parents fault. It would really help make up for my sub-standard pig roll if I could kick their donkey (in an educational sense). She wasn't having it so I let it go. But I am putting my message out here. Parents, be the example - don't let you kids feed the animals. Especially junk food. It's nasty for us and its worse for them.

Now a piercing cry breaks the political tension, it is a hoot, a scream, it is a MONKEY RIOT!!!!! Let me tell you, there is nothing like a good monkey riot to aid in the digestion. Catwoman goes to check it out while I try to find the parents of the fry throwers so I can give them the hairy eyeball. They are not to be seen. Brilliant! Yet another thing for me to rant about.

Next: To Riot or not, monkey butts, Meerkat Manor, Tiger Coats

 

[mcarthur205]

We now find that our Mickey’s tend to talk in stereo. They vibrate about the same time and if we don’t press their hands at the same time, they both chatter about the same stuff but a little bit off which is annoying. We head to the safari chanting my mantra of “Don’t Look At The Tree of Life!”

Really enjoying your report, but I have to ask - why don't you look at the Tree of Life?

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Pretty Princess BUMP.

 

[Ron from Michigan]

I agree with you PrincessAurora about the tea cart in the AK. I always try a different when I'm there. It is so nice to see something different in the parks.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Hey Melly! Glad to see you ( in a virtual sense). Talked Catwoman to tears about you and your brood. Now even she fears "The General"

Mcarthur205 - we don't look at the Tree of Life because if we do we will be drawn into its gravitational pull, standing there drooling at its brilliance and then all the animal hoards will beat us to the Safari and Everest. We do those first THEN look at the Tree of Life all we want.

Ron - Glad to hear of another tea fan! Go Us!

Well, spent most of the day trying to fix the contractors mistakes. Getting a house on the market is more work than fixing it up. Grrrrrrrr. This is making me a cranky Princess. I need more wine.

And I'll post another part.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Catwoman returns. She can't find the monkeys. It seems we can hear some kind of rumble, flogging or spanking as it were but the actual monkey occurrence is not immediately in evidence. Nothing to deflate your balloon more than a good monkey rumble that you can't watch. Damn monkeys. We head over to the monkey moat to watch the monkeys. There are 3 mild tempered monkeys in evidence, one with a monkey baby. One of the males is sitting with his back to us. Catwoman remarks that monkeys have cute butts, cute little monkey butts. Really? I am so telling Racer X! Monkey butts huh?

Honestly they are pretty cute. We head over to the Maharaja Trail to check out big kitties but first it's time for some naked mole rat action! It's not as titillating as it sounds. They basically look like bald, blind moles. In fact they are moles after a fashion. A mole with a rat suit but naked.

Next we check on the Meerkats. You know, Timon - Meerkat Manor. They are like prairie dogs only thinner and smaller and more pointy. One is always on watch in case he sees feathered death falling from the sky. He gives the signal and everyone hides down a hole. The slow one gets eaten. Its like musical chairs only with death for the loser instead of no cake. I suppose there is cake for the raptor. I mean, a bird has to eat after all. I try to take pictures of the Meerkat sentry. I'd post it but I haven't sized the pictures smaller and uploaded them to my PC since the house guy finishing my bathroom has my toilet in the tub and I can't wee like a civilized person so I have to go to Starbucks for a latte and use their bathroom. Hate the pseudo contractor guy. OK, back to the show.

Now onto Malaysian Flying Foxes. I love these bats. They are huge and furry and cute. I think people are afraid of bats because the ones they always show are the ones with the squashed faces, like my sisters Pekinese Weaser. These really look like foxes with wings. However they can not fly sideways so they aren't going to fly into where we are and besides they really don't like us. We are scary monkeys and they are just interested in eating melon, licking themselves and being left alone. It's just as well. I don't have the room to keep a giant bat anyway.

Ooops - Mickey has a joke for us! Mickey has lots of jokes but this one was a particular groaner so I wrote it down:
What is Black & White & can fly?
Peter Panda!

Damn Mick, that's just great! A hoot. Really. Be quiet now.

We are on to look at the big kitties. I love tigers. They are so pretty and the only cats to like water. Yes, you may have a mutant house cat but on the whole only tigers like water, swim in it even. Catwoman points out that if they were the size of our housecats we would be dead. They might not mean it but hey, it happens. I start counting the scars I have from being tagged accidentally by my cat. Now if he were tiger size........ Maybe if they were sedated I could pet them. I sure would like to. Catwoman drags me away. I think she's jealous. They have a cool coat and she can't wear it.

Next: Mickey Crocs, Blue Booze and Pink Squirells, flippy boys and why you should never try this at home.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Well enough of lions and tigers and bears – o my! Shopping is the watchword of the day and we need to check out some of the purveyors of Mouse merchandise. While Catwoman was debating between a shirt and a REALLY SOFT Eeyore, I was checking out the Crocs. I was wearing mine; true but they had MICKEY Crocs. I am such a goober. My feet hurt, my back hurts, and I want to sit down but am drawn to the commercial glow that is a display of Mickey Crocs.

The one thing that annoys me is that adult crocs only come in alternating colors of red with black or black with red. Now the kids’ sizes have pink with purple, blue with green and another cool color that I can’t find right now. It just isn’t fair! If I had my say I would get purple Mickey Crocs with a hot pink strap. Pay attention marketing monkeys!

I also buy a new Disney cookbook. I must admit that the glorious pictures of food porn were what got me. I just HAD to have it. Well in order to rest my sagging behind and tired feet I suggest we head to the bar across the street and if we are in luck, the pretty acrobats will be there.

We head over. There is a LONG line. The act that is on is a dance troupe that insists on blowing a whistle to keep beat. It is bugging me. I really want this dancer guy to eat that whistle. I get a Pina Colada and Catwoman gets a blue drink. I am leery of blue drinks. Did you know that we are genetically programmed to avoid certain food colors and blue is one of them? If it isn’t found in nature, we really don’t want to eat it. Think about it. What food is blue? I’m not talking blueberries or those blue potatoes which are really more purple but really bright blue. Nothing except maybe mold which you don’t want to eat.

Another friend of mine spent a whole night driving the porcelain bus do to massive alcohol intake that was brought on by (a) mixing your drinks and (b) the “blue thing”. Catwoman sneers at my blue drink paranoia. She also wants it noted that she likes the whistle. Fine. I am too tired to walk off so I just deal and drink my frothy drink.

It really is an entertaining activity to sit back, relax and watch the various drunk people. It can be more fun that watching the Meerkat exhibit. There is usually the obligatory hairy European with more crispy chest hair than the gorilla and enough gold chains to start his own rap franchise. There always have to be the giggling hot girls that are so painfully thin that they will blow off in the first breeze. You know that one drink is going to put them under the table due to lack of body fat. They really need to eat a sandwich. The Hairy European is eying them for any attendant males. There is the NASCAR dude with or without woman in tow, wearing his hat, his t-shirt and his fanny pack. He only drinks beer and its never imported. OOooooooo and then there is the older lady that wants some weird drink that they haven’t made in 50 years like a “Pink Squirrel”.

The pretty acrobats come out next and if you have never seen them, you really must. They defy gravity. They make it look so easy. That can be dangerous especially if you have had a few drinks. “Look at me! I can stand on one hand while bending at a 45 degree angle and holding a live snake!” Not a good plan. Not that anyone really tried it. Well, there was that one guy from the audience that actually tried to dive through a hoop with his spare tire and ended up on his donkey. He’s gonna feel that tomorrow!

After a relaxing time of girly booze and hot guys, we decide to walk. I head to the otter pen because otters of fun. They just look like they are having fun all the time. They are the ambassadors of fun. But then I pause, there is something wrong in otter land! Oh No!

Next: Otters Gone Wild, Is that Really A Man Instead of Minnie?

 

[PrincessAurora]

We walked down to the underwater viewing area and …no otters. Where are the otters? No otters in my pond and now no otters here. We walk to the above ground viewing area and get up on the ledge. OTTERS AHOY! Thar be otters me boy! They were just on the other side of the enclosure and on the grass so people couldn’t see them. One mated pair and their rambunctious male offspring, 3 otters in all.

I don’t know how long we just stood there staring at the otters. Otters are full of mysterious powers and will do that to you. A cast member came along and we started talking about the otters and their secrets. We did wonder what kept raptors from snacking on the various animals and did the otters actually eat the fish they swim with.

Well, the pair of otters were perfectly content to be fed until they reproduced. Now instead of being lazy otters, they are running around after their hyped up offspring. This boy has now discovered that he can catch and eat fish. No one taught him how but maybe he saw it on the Discovery channel or something. I’m sure it’s a bit of a “ Wild Kingdom ” moment when the cute little otter snags a fish and starts chowing down on it.

The castmember was a little bummed because she is his trainer and they use food as a reward. He doesn’t need your Otter Chow Treats if he can just catch his own so some of the incentive is gone.

We also found out that indeed many wild animals make their way onto property and raptors and bobcats will make off with ducklings, bunnies, etc. They don’t mind so much if the predators snack on the “visiting animals” but wish they would stay away from “their” animals. Read: eat the local ducks and bunnies all you like but keep away from the rare, imported ones that cost us a ton of dough you stupid hawk.

But hey!, this is nature up close and personal. And speaking of nature, I have to make a foray into Camp Minnie/Mickey in order to get Sora & Minnie autographed postcards. I swore I would never do this and I am now braving stroller hell so my niece and nephew can share in the magic. Will the horror never end?

Well now my niece Minnie has decided that the Princesses suck and life is all about Minnie Mouse. Can’t say I blame her. Minnie is pretty cool. I do wish The Mouse would commit and marry her already but there’s men for you. Why buy the Mouse when you get the squeak for free? I warned Catwoman about the horrors of “Camp Minnie Mickey”. It is a stroller filled jungle that only serves to trap you in unending lines to get character autographs or watch an environmentally correct Pocahontas swirling her hair around a postage stamp size stage looking concerned. I bought a postcard of Minnie walking with a little girl wearing a Minnie dress and though having Minnie sign it would be cool. This also means getting the big cheese to sign one for “The Boy” or Sora for short.

As we cautiously entered the encampment of children; small speed demons that run underfoot and harried parents that steer strollers like they were muscling their SUV through traffic, I noticed something. The place was near empty. O my God! There were only about 10 people in line ahead of me to see The Mouse’s main squeeze. Catwoman went in search of a box of litter and then waited. I think she was afraid of being squealed at, run into or having her toes run over. Either that or she thinks that Minnie is really Commissioner Gordon in disguise. I don’t think she should worry since the last time I saw him, he had much bigger arms.

Well with autographs in tow we then decide the watch the parade. It’s a little parade but hey, a parade’s a parade and we need to kill some time before heading to Animal Kingdom Lodge for our dinner at Jiko.

Next: Parades and Brit Babies

 

[mcarthur205]

Enjoying hearing about your AK visit. How are you getting on with the pictures? Sorry to be impatient but I'm looking forward to reading your dining report too, and the pictures are the icing on the cake!

 

[pooksma]

Have just read top to bottom (or should I say "butt"). Great trippie. More please!!

 

[PrincessAurora]

We stand at the corner, across from the Tree of Life where people turn to enter Dinoland USA . We are behind a British mom with a baby in a stroller or is that a pram? Anyway she is feeding the baby French fries – sorry, chips and I am just shaking my head. Do you know how much grease and fat is in those things? What happened to Cherrios or Zwieback crackers? The baby sensibly throws the greasy McChips to the ground. “Good for you baby!” Mum rummages through her bag of baby necessities and pulls out some multi-colored nightmare Fruit Loops. Good God. I am hoping for baby to stick them in Mums nose. No such luck but baby doesn’t eat them either. He just looks miserable in that hot stroller and I feel sorry for him. I bet he would like it better back at the hotel with some water wings, paddling around in the wading pool. I try to instill this image in Mums head. No luck.

The cement is hot. The weather isn’t bad but the Florida heat seems to be storing itself in the thick, dead dino paste blacktop and radiating back through the soles of our shoes. This parade is small and zippy. No huge floats just cool tall puppets ala “The Lion King on Broadway”, funky buses filled with characters and conveyances with families chosen at random as a Dreams winner. One family didn’t look happy at all to be there, especially the kids. They looked like Disney were making them sit though a 4 hour mass in Latin. Catwoman seems to think they are just overwhelmed and will love it later. I think they are plotting our immediate demise for subjecting them to public humiliation. The baby blows fruit loops at me so I will take that as ascent on his part.

After the parade passes we slowly make our way out of the park and over to the resort bus. We head for Animal Kingdom Lodge and our 5:30 dinner ressies at Jiko. We are early but the hotel is so amazing we can finds lots of interesting things to do while we are waiting.

I am very excited for Catwoman to see the last of the three resorts all designed by Urban Design Group on a similar lobby style. The most striking aspect of this lobby is the floor to ceiling glass wall that looks out over the savanna.

I really just love wandering around this resort and I haven’t even seen any of the rooms or the hallways, just the lobby. We walked over to the back of the lobby so we could look out the huge floor to ceiling window and take in the savanna view. We contemplated going outside when we heard drumming. We looking around, and followed the sound. There to our left was an alcove where a couple cast members were having an impromptu drum circle with a few kids and their parents. It looked like a lot of fun but there was no way we were getting on the floor with a bunch of kids to participate in the music jam.

Why not? Well first, Catwoman just doesn’t do that. If it doesn’t come with a dark, mysterious man in aviator glasses, a chic drink and a splash of dignity she doesn’t do it; at least not in public. I’ve seen plenty non-dignified things in private. The 10 or 15 year run of the “hiding of the Barney” is one example. I don’t even remember how long this has been happening. You see, when her nephew was small he hated Barney, like most normal children. He gave his loving aunt a Barney figure dressed as Santa for a joke or did she give it to him as a joke. My memory is fading. Anyway, we would try to pawn it off on each other. I would hide it in her cupboards. She would sneak it to my house. THEN Barney got a make-over. She put him in a mayonnaise jar with water and some of those “magic rocks” that grow in multi-colored stalagmites. I could never figure out what 1960’s toxic waste they were made of. The hiding continued when we lived together and then over a space of 400 miles when I moved to Northern California aka Hippieville USA *shudder*.

I once got Barney wrapped up and stuck in the glove compartment of my car, I hid him in her garden where he was undiscovered for at least a few years. It went on and on. Anyway, back to the story, more of the Battle of the Barney later.

So Catwoman was too cool to join in the drum circle and I was too traumatized. As a little kid, I always wanted the tambourine or the triangle in music class but the pretty, popular blond girls always got to play those instruments. I got the sticks. So as I looked at the little tribe of kids happily playing away on various instruments I knew I wouldn’t get a drum, I would get a stick and as an adult I can’t cry or make a scene or take some 6 year olds drum so Catwoman and I did the classy, adult thing. We went to the bar.

 

[MEK]

Thanks for this great middle of the night read. I can't believe this is only day 1. Keep it coming. I find your somewhat cynical humor entertaining.

p.s. I never got the drum or tambourine either, so I know what your talking about. \

pss. sorry about your cat. Sounds like he had a good long life.

 

[LITTLEKID58]

Tfs

 

[roberrl187]

Great report.

 

[pooksma]

More please

 

[WDW Poly Princess]

I HATE the way the media has no problem with making men look like infantile morons all the time but would never do the same thing to women. How about we don't put men OR women down even for the idiot reason of selling a piece of rodent meat masquerading as a fast food hamburger?

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, as well! Every commercial and TV show out there seems to make fun of men. I don't get it! If they did the same type of commercials making women look stupid, everyone would be livid!

I'm jealous of your Jet Blue TV! I usually end up flying United, and they have the little TVs, but it only shows one station, and it's mostly just clips of shows. Not fun!

What on earth made the MK people think that 4am was a dandy time for a sound check??? Although I guess it's safe to say that if the people at WL heard it, your sound works fine!

Sorry to hear about your kitty!

 

[PrincessAurora]

First before the report I wanted to say thanks for all the kitty love from everyone. Chauncy was a first rate cat and my darling boy. He had a great life and I will see him again later. He did hate me going to The Mouse just because I would be gone so long. At least he never wee'd in my shoes so thank God for small favors. Now on with the show....

I had never had drinks at the Animal Kingdom Bar before and it was very nice. We each had a nice sweet white wine from South Africa and they gave them to us in plastic cups so we could take them outside. At first I was a bit thrown because the two lady bartenders were from the UK and not Africa. But they were nice and knew their wine so I suppose it doesn’t matter.

We took the stairs down to the ground floor and stepped out onto the “mini-savanna”. Here Catwoman could see the views that the Savannah rooms provided and we quickly got into a conversation with a lovely lady who had just arrived in Florida 2 months ago. It seems that we would keep hitting the “newly arrived cast member from another country” window on this trip.

We then take our drinks over to a large “fire pit” that has assorted chairs around it including smaller scale models for the wee ones. We sip wine and discuss immigration and various political issues of the day pro & con. Catwoman is one of the few people I can talk religion or politics with and we (a) stay friends and (b) I don’t want to hit her in the face with a board. Even when we don’t agree. This is rare, I know.

Well after taking in the savanna we move inside for our dinner at Jiko. This was a lovely meal with the same bitter dessert disappointments (Chef Annette – bring back the Tanzanian chocolate purses!!! – All your other desserts are just pedestrian) but that is for the yet to be written food report with pictures. I will say I went outside my comfort zone and for the first time in 5 visits had something other than the steak with mac & cheese for my entrée.

Catwoman did finish her meal with a pot of French press coffee and went on a rant of how we should be ashamed of ourselves that we demand so little of coffee at restaurants in this country. I have to agree with her. Frankly, while I understand that a great many people are content to live and die drinking Nescafe or Folgers crystals, there really is a wide world of coffee out there. More on this later when, dear readers, you will get an intensive coffee education. I had to and now so do you.

But that is in the future and right now we just needed to hop the bus to Magic Kingdom and from there grab the bus back to Wilderness Lodge.

I’m not sure if we took the bus back to the hotel that night or if we took the boat. Transportation tends to run together unless there are stand-out screw ups or loud drunk people to make it memorable. I do know that we were in our room when I heard the tinny music that signals the water parade. Since our veranda faced towards to Magic Kingdom , I knew that it was approaching. I grabbed Catwoman and rushed her out of the room, down the hall and out onto the dock. Now I’m trying to figure out the most direct route. We head past the geyser and towards the white sand beach. I’ve never just hung out on the beach come to think of it. There has always been more pressing fun at hand. I file that away for a possible solo trip. We take off our shoes and walk out on the sand.

Now I warned her that this is not very high tech. I’m sure it was a marvel of technology back when it first made its appearance on the scene but no longer. However it is kitschy and fun and its tradition! So we watch and listen to a tinny version of Under The Sea while glowing dolphins leap through waves of light. It just isn’t a trip to The World or to Wilderness Lodge until I’ve seen this.

Next: Drunk Obnoxious Teenagers Scaring Little Kids and Making Me Want to Kick Their Donkeys, Fixin's Bar vs. Ghetto Mocha and Starbucks - The Evil Empire.

 

[OhMari]

I was a bond little girl and ended up with the sticks. I so wanted the tamborine, or the triangle, let alone a drum.

We had the same brittish bartender. Did you know you could of walked out to the pool area and pool bar hopped.

Enjoying your report.

 

[PrincessAurora]

After our little mini electric light show is over we head over to the quiet Jacuzzi to check it out. We really are private people and aren’t into sharing with large groups of people especially noisy ones. We got that out of our systems when I lived in a condo with a Jacuzzi in the rec room that we could all share. Damn, that was a lifetime ago.

Anyway, there were 2 or 3 teenage boys hopped up on illicit beer or super charged testosterone that were hiding off the path, jumping up and trying to scare people. I looked at him nonplussed, like he was the biggest moron to ever breath air and then stole a line from Steve Martin. I looked at him and said “I remember when I had my first beer” and walked on. Idiot. There were about 6 people in the hot tub so we decided to pass. On the way pass the idiot line, I saw a family approaching with a little girl. I warned them about the boozed up spaz heads. I really hope the Dad punches this kid in the nuts if they scare his little girl. I think a good punch to the nuts solves most problems involving Too Much Testosterone + Too Much Sugar/Alcohol = Moron Moments. We don’t stick around.

On the way back to the room, I fill Catwoman in on the Salad Bar Fiasco at Magic Kingdom that was being debated on the DIS Board. It seems that Pecos Bill serves a “fixings bar” for their hamburgers. They have lettuce, tomatoes, onion, peppers, cheese, mayo, mustard as well as sautéed mushrooms and cheese sauce. We heard tell that Disney might be removing it due to people making “ghetto salad”. It seems people were helping themselves to the fixins as a meal unto themselves and making side salads. I am assuming if they were from Wisconsin they were also smothering them in cheese. People on the Board were complaining that because of people trying to get extra and use the bar for a purpose it was not intended for, all us good kids have to suffer with no fixins bar. I ate there 2 years ago and figured putting some cheese on my fries was permissible. I hope I’m not in the “bad child” category.

Catwoman tells me that this extends far beyond Disney, all the way to the other coast, to Seattle, to Starbucks.

Yes, Starbucks, the "Evil Empire", the home of the most amazing confections including my Holiday Crack Lo-Fat Eggnog Latte with a Cranberry Bliss Bar. It seems that Starbucks has a similar issues. It's called the ghetto mocha. Here is how it works: a person buys a grande drip coffee, then they go to the condiments bar and add milk, sugar, 1/4 of the chocolate shaker, 1/8 of the vanilla shaker and voila! ghetto mocha for $2 less. The Starbucks employees are just told to shine it on unless it really gets out of hand. What makes the regulars upset are the people that use all the milk, forcing the others in line to wait for milk refills. well it seems that The Mouse is taking steps to curb this. When we hit Magic Kingdom tomorrow I promise myself to check the validity of the disappearing cheese and the vanishing condiment bar at Pecos Bills.

Back inside I take Catwoman on a little Tour of the Lodge, showing her the cool little alcoves with the fireplaces. It is almost like having a piece of your living room on vacation with you and the little window that overlooks Artist Point. We could check out what other people were eating without being observed. I think she really dug it, especially since she tried to make a run all the way up the stairs, even into the 7th floor "forbidden zone". I think her larceny is starting to show. She starts casing the joint, finding ways to climbing down from various floors to the ground without benefit of a staircase or elevator.

All and all it was a very tiring day and to prove it the pedometer count for our first day was 25,370 steps.

Next: Day 2, The Magic Kingdom, Roy & Do you know the way to the Haunted Mansion