If you had the chance

[wvjules]

would you move to a foreign country for a job for 2 years?

It is for the same employer that I am with now. I do not know about moving expenses or whether I'd be guaranteed a job back in the states when this job is done.

If I could get moving expenses and a guarantee I think this would be a great opportunity. The biggest thing holding me back is DD. If we did this we would leave at the beginning of next year (she is a freshman) and would return 1/2 way through her junior year. While there, she would be attending an American High School.

So, would you consider it?

 

[lovemygoofy]

Does your DD want to go? Do you know what country it would be? Would you get OCONUS pay in addition to your salary?

You said she would attend an American high school so I"m guessing you'd be near a military post considering your work.

It would be a great opportunity for her at this age. However you've also mentioned that you don't like living so far from your family now and imagine not being able to just get into a car and drive to see them. Would they be willing to come see you?

 

[Micca]

Could be cool, depends on the country and the benefits. From acquaintances I hear you definitely want to negotiate a package that covers your moving expenses getting there AND getting back to the U.S. at the end of the two years.

 

[laurie31]

My first thought is it's an amazing opportunity, especially for your DD. The education she will get from LIVING abroad, and not simply visiting as a tourist, will be immeasurable.

However, I would have a hard time with the family separation, too. Two years isn't forever, though, and knowing it was a finite amount of time would make it easier. Would you be able to come home for Christmas? Or your family come there?

The practical side of me wants to tell you to make a list of all the pros and cons, everything - what will happen to your house here while you're gone, what about your cars, pets, etc. Would DD be too upset to be separated from her friends?

I'm also thinking of the advice I read somewhere. For situations like this, you should flip a coin. Not because you'll really abide by the results, but because once the coin is in the air, you'll know what you're hoping for.


Good luck with your decision. I really think I would go for it!

 

[wvjules]

Does your DD want to go? Do you know what country it would be? Would you get OCONUS pay in addition to your salary?

You said she would attend an American high school so I"m guessing you'd be near a military post considering your work.

It would be a great opportunity for her at this age. However you've also mentioned that you don't like living so far from your family now and imagine not being able to just get into a car and drive to see them. Would they be willing to come see you?

The country is Germany. I would just get my regular salary AFAIK, hopefully it would be more b/c I think it is a higher position. (No OCONUS pay.)

Yes, it is near a military post.

I see it as a great opportunity for her as well but she's 14 and the thought of leaving her friends upsets her.

I would miss my family but it would only be for 2 years. We could come home for holidays and vacations and such. I can only think of one person that might come visit. My parents and the rest of my family doesn't fly. Wusses! lol

When I get more details I will have a better idea of whether I want to pursue this or not. The thought is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

 

[luvmy2sams]

We recently faced this very decision. DH was offered a big promotion to an overseas location (China). Even though he was guaranteed only a 3 year placement and the monetary incentives were very tempting, in the end it wasn't worth the adjustments our kids would have to make. Maybe in another time, another place...

Good luck with your decision.

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

DH had an offer to work in Tokyo for a year and bring me and DD. The deal was horrible so it was a no-brainer. They were going to put the 3 of us in a 450 square foot "corporate mansion" (while our two cars are kept in our garage at home that is 576 sq feet-lol) and not much to compensate us for the high cost of living. He turned it down and found a different project on the east coast 2 days later.

We had friends that went to Mexico City for a few years and was sad to come back home. The kids went to an amazing private school, the wife had a driver, a housekeeper/cook and had to do nothing around the house!

EDIT- of course the first thing I did was look at the price of a pass at Tokyo Disney so I would have someting to do- lol :rofl:

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Been there, doing it.

This is our third international move, although the first since the kids have been in school. They attend an American internation school here in Chile.

If you are considering it, make sure that the compensation package is very good. You will inevitably spend more money in the first few months settling in to your new home than you will plan on (i.e., new appliances for different voltages, furniture because your old stuff doesn't fit in your new house, setting up new accounts for utilities, first and last months' rent, etc.). It usually takes us about six months to break even in a new posting, even with the additional compensation. After that, if you work the contract right you can often start saving significant amounts of income.

Make sure that you are entitled to at least one trip home for the whole family each year of the posting (and two if you can get it!). Also, make sure there is a clause that the company will pay for flights if you have to return home for compassionate reasons (i.e., death of a parent, serious illness).

Investigate the cost of living in the new location, and check if you are going to be compensated for any difference from your current location. Often costs are up to double what you are used to in the States. Also, you need to be aware of whether you will be paid in US dollars or in the currency of your new posting, since fluctuations in the exchange rates can play havoc on your income.

Make sure that the school fees will be paid - ours run at about $15000 per child per year. Check out the school very carefully, and find out what type of programmes they offer (ours offers both AP and IB). Not all international schools are of the same quality. While I am very happy with mine at the level my kids are at (one in middle school and one in elementary), I'm not sure I'd want them to be going to high school here (there is a highly sexualized culture at the school in the upper grades and significant drinking issues due to lax alcohol laws). The school does have very high academic standards, though.

If you decide to do it, please be aware that the first year always seems to be very hard for just about everyone. Read up on culture shock, and be gentle with yourself. The second year is usually much, much better (and usually by the end of the second year you're hoping to extend).

Depending on where you are posted, there is often a wonderful expat community in which to find support. You will make friends very quickly and much more easily than you would if you moved to a new location in the States. You will meet lots of interesting people from diverse backgrounds, and will have many eye-opening experiences. You will grow and change, and become amazed at your ability to adapt and cope with new circumstances. With a bit of support, these are skills you will also be able to foster in your child.

I have no regrets about my move to Chile (although I would have answered differently last year at this time). If you have any specific questions, please feel free to PM me.

Heather

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

The country is Germany. I would just get my regular salary AFAIK, hopefully it would be more b/c I think it is a higher position. (No OCONUS pay.)

Yes, it is near a military post.

I see it as a great opportunity for her as well but she's 14 and the thought of leaving her friends upsets her.

I would miss my family but it would only be for 2 years. We could come home for holidays and vacations and such. I can only think of one person that might come visit. My parents and the rest of my family doesn't fly. Wusses! lol

When I get more details I will have a better idea of whether I want to pursue this or not. The thought is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Maybe send NHDisneylover a PM? She moved to Germany last year and can probably give you very good insight into what to expect!

 

[TerriP]

Depending on the country, in a heartbeat! We don't have children so that wouldn't be an issue for us...but if we did, I can't imagine the incredible opportunity it would be to open up the world to them by living abroad. And, yes, it would be hard to be separated from extended family/friends, but that is what airplanes are for. And we would have to check into quarantine laws for our dogs...but that's a hurdle we could definitely manage.

Let us know whe you make your decision...how exciting!

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

In a heartbeat!!!! What an incredible opportunity!!!!!

I keep hoping my DH's job would provide a chance for that. Years ago, we came "this close" to a chance to go to Copenhagen...would have been so wonderful!

 

[eeyoremum]

Without a doubt. I would be on the next plane out.

It is a wonderful opportunity. With facebook and email kids are more intouch than ever. Plus she will make new friends. Living in Germany you would be able to easily travel to other parts of Europe.

I generally don't base decisions on how my children feel/want as the parent I do what is best. DH and I will consider all the pros and cons then make the best decision for the family.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Jules, I just thought of another question. Will you have to do any traveling for work? Conferences or going to other military places? I would absoultely make sure of this because I'm not sure would want to leave your daughter alone like that.

 

[wvjules]

Wow, lots of good information. Thanks.

Tina, no i would not need to travel. DBF would come with us too so it is not just DD and I.

Looks like there is a lot more to think about than I had originally thought.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

would you move to a foreign country for a job for 2 years?

It is for the same employer that I am with now. I do not know about moving expenses or whether I'd be guaranteed a job back in the states when this job is done.

If I could get moving expenses and a guarantee I think this would be a great opportunity. The biggest thing holding me back is DD. If we did this we would leave at the beginning of next year (she is a freshman) and would return 1/2 way through her junior year. While there, she would be attending an American High School.

So, would you consider it?

In a New York minute.

I will say that we have moved 2 times in the last 3yrs. (MO to TX and back to MO) and the kids are still having trouble adjusting. But....we are working it out. Have to weigh pros/cons.

I will have to say that my kids would jump at the chance so that is a factor here. They would kill for the chance leave the USA to go abroad and live.

Now DH is another matter....

 

[Crankyshank]

in an absolute heartbeat.

 

[joyjoy]

Absolutely. In a second.

I was an exchange student in HS (full calendar year in the Netherlands) and it was an experience that affected my entire way of thinking and living.

Go for it!

 

[maddmike]

I won't even visit a foriegn country let alone move to one. Depending on the country, Americans are not well like around the world. Sometimes we are not liked in the U.S. anymore.

 

[Carys]

I'm on a four year overseas assignment myself. No kids, but for most expats the standard of living overseas on an expat package is much better than their job would normally pay at home, so make sure a great remuneration package is put together, and I hear international/american school overseas are very good (and have fees to match). Don't settle for your US salary.

PP who noted the exchange issue, this is very important, you may wish to consider asking for a salary split to lessen the pain when movements in either direction occur. Also, the strength of the Euro should be considered when negotiating the salary.

Ask for a look-see trip first to introduce the family to the city and look around for accomodation ahead of the real arrival date without the immediate pressure of needing to find somewhere just to get out of a hotel. Also, home help in Germany will be much more expensive than in many other countries, so if you're expecting house staff (housekeeper, nanny or driver) don't underestimate this cost.

There are as noted a heap of hidden costs. Selling your car and buying a new one, differences in insurance rates on everything including comprehensive health insurance and travel insurance for each time you leave Germany (which will be frequent since it's Europe and everywhere is a stone hrow away, great for weekend trips), re-furnishing appliances or even just having to buy a large number of adaptors and transformers, moving pets can be very complicated and expensive if you have any.

Germany should be a relatively easy country to move to - first world modern country without a particularly serious crime problem, great infrastructure and well serviced by international flights (Frankfurt is the Lufthansa hub city), plenty of culture and things to do, and super easy to escape to other fantastic countries for holidays when it gets too much. There will be a language barrier that will make things very frustrating at times, but english is widely spoken and german is one of the easier languages to learn, your children will pick it up very quickly. I have enjoyed travelling to Germany a couple of times.

Also...Oktoberfest

In summary, go for it, and make sure they pay you what you're worth, and discuss possible future options to extend in case you guys love it - if the project will be ongoing, it's a cost saving for them to keep you there rather than moving someone else over to replace you.

maddmike - you Americans can always move to New Zealand, we love you guys (and single gals all swoon at the accent ) I think our Prime Minister mentioned how much we like you guys when he appeared on the Letterman show recently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b3VzcK2xqM

 

[belle09]

As someone who lived abroad as a kid, I wouldn't worry too much about your DD saying she doesn't want to move and leave her friends. My parents moved our whole family to Hong Kong when I was in 6th grade (10 years old), and I "hated" them when they decided to move there and I "hated" them when they said we were moving back to the US three years later -- by that point, I had really solid friendships at my school and felt at least as at home in Hong Kong as I did when we came back to visit the US. For what it's worth, I'd never been outside of the US before we moved.

I would say that for me, going there was easier than coming home -- in an international school, the student body turns over so rapidly (my school was 25% turnover each year) that everyone is very friendly and open to making new friends. We moved back to the same town (and house, actually) that we'd lived in before we moved, and so I had the rather strange experience of coming back to go to school with people I'd known since 2nd grade, but with a three year gap in our relationships when we'd all changed, and it probably took me a year to a year and a half to really recreate friendship networks.

I wouldn't trade my international experience for anything, even though it's definitely not all good. I think it really expanded my horizons, influenced my perception of the world, and shaped who I am as a person, for the better. That being said, you should do some reading/research on third-culture kids (kids who are raised in two different cultures and end up blending them together into a third "unique" culture) because there are potential negatives to it. For me, the positives far outweigh any negatives, but everyone is different.

Since I was only in middle school, I can't speak much to the logistics of it -- just the childhood experience.