If you had a choice - School Question

[connorlevismom]

If you had a choice to either move to a better public school district and pay more in your house payment, or stay where you are and send you child to whatever private school you wanted, what would you do and why?

Kristine

 

[Darcy03231]

I would stay where I was and send my child to private school. 1st, your child will only be in school for 12 years, the house payment will be 30 years (I am assuming a 30 year mortgage). 2nd, the city could redistrict and the better school may not be the better school 5 years from now (this happened in the city I live in). 3rd, with private school you can look at several different options and decide what is best for both you and your child. In most instances private schools offer more flexibility, smaller classrooms and can offer much more individual attention to the student.

 

[mrsltg]

Neither. I live in an area with "good" schools and we still send our dd to private school. It's a choice we made a long time ago.

 

[connorlevismom]

Neither. I live in an area with "good" schools and we still send our dd to private school. It's a choice we made a long time ago.

LOL I never thought of that one!

Why did you go the private route?

Kristine

 

[hddanis]

Neither..We Homeschool! I've discovered private school doesn't ALWAYS mean better. Many of the private schools use the same curriculums as Homeschoolers (or vice versa)

 

[maxtomsmom]

You ask a very interesting question. First I want to state, that this depends upon many factors other than just school. Does moving involve a better or a worse quality of life in all. There is more to life than school. Would moving involve a longer commute, near any places of interest, higher cost of living, family friendly neighborhood...? We just recently moved from a small city, White Plains, NY to 40 minutes north. We now have more space, more value for our home (bigger home, brand new we built it), but our commute is longer. Schools weren't an issue as we thought the White Plains Public Schools were fine. Schools are about the same maybe a bit better in our new community, but not as diverse. Diversity is something that I feel is a good thing as it is the real world we live in and one day our children will work in.

Now getting to your school question, again I think for me it would depend upon the two schools I'm comparing. Why would I leave, are the teachers terrible, the scores very poor? I don't think sending children to a religious private school is generally better. They have a high teacher turn over rate and are very dependent upon income from student tuition and their church. So, they can close when times get bad. As a teacher myself, I do believe our public schools generally work fine. They tend to offer a more variety of courses, programs, and activities. Now, I know some are real problematic. If that was the case, then I would not hesitate to move as that could mean in general my quality of life would improve. Sending them to a private school may just not be enough. If you can afford to move to a better area, then perhaps that would be best. Sometimes moving older children may be a traumatic experience so that too would have to be a factor.

Also something to consider, two of my best friends went to Catholic school all their lives. They only made one friend as their parents didn't feel like driving them all over the county for play dates. This friend happen to live in the same town.


Sorry if I am rambling on and on, I need to go get a cup of coffee

 

[connorlevismom]

You ask a very interesting question. First I want to state, that this depends upon many factors other than just school. Does moving involve a better or a worse quality of life in all. There is more to life than school. Would moving involve a longer commute, near any places of interest, higher cost of living, family friendly neighborhood...? We just recently moved from a small city, White Plains, NY to 40 minutes north. We now have more space, more value for our home (bigger home, brand new we built it), but our commute is longer. Schools weren't an issue as we thought the White Plains Public Schools were fine. Schools are about the same maybe a bit better in our new community, but not as diverse. Diversity is something that I feel is a good thing as it is the real world we live in and one day our children will work in.

Now getting to your school question, again I think for me it would depend upon the two schools I'm comparing. Why would I leave, are the teachers terrible, the scores very poor? I don't think sending children to a religious private school is generally better. They have a high teacher turn over rate and are very dependent upon income from student tuition and their church. So, they can close when times get bad. As a teacher myself, I do believe our public schools generally work fine. They tend to offer a more variety of courses, programs, and activities. Now, I know some are real problematic. If that was the case, then I would not hesitate to move as that could mean in general my quality of life would improve. Sending them to a private school may just not be enough. If you can afford to move to a better area, then perhaps that would be best. Sometimes moving older children may be a traumatic experience so that too would have to be a factor.

Also something to consider, two of my best friends went to Catholic school all their lives. They only made one friend as their parents didn't feel like driving them all over the county for play dates. This friend happen to live in the same town.


Sorry if I am rambling on and on, I need to go get a cup of coffee

Great post!

To answer your question, the area we would move is a higher cost of living but then the commute will be shorter and the quality of life will be better in general. Our son is only 3 now so if we are going to move, I want to do it before he starts any school just in case we pick the public school option. I know that it seems like a no-brainer (move to the better area if it will make the quality of life better) but I am really struggling with it.

Kristine

 

[mrsltg]

LOL I never thought of that one!

Why did you go the private route?

Kristine

Without any intention of offending anyone - honestly!

Dh and I are very individual people. Our political beliefs are not particularly mainstream and we do not agree with public education. I work in lobbying and I see the endless amount of politics involved in public school at the Federal level and it disturbs me greatly. When my company lobbies an issue, it's generally to save $$$ or to create jobs, etc, but always for the betterment of the company as a whole or the industry we work in. I think children should be exempt from this system and they are not. I think teachers should be exempt from this system and they are not. Instead, I see a lot of good people (students and teachers alike) being tossed around as a political football and it bothers me. Instead of putting our kids into the arena, we chose a different route altogether.

We are great believers in supply and demand. I see paying directly for the education dd receives as giving me a great voice in all matters concerning her education. The school is accountable to the families enrolled through a very direct line. I also like knowing that every kid in the school has a parent who is dedicated to their education. If they weren't (sadly, as some parents are not) they wouldn't be coughing up the tuition. I am also proud the school offers tuition assistance to families in need with no consideration given to ability to pay when a student applies to attend. Part of the tuition we pay is used to fund children whose parents cannot afford the pricetag, but want the same level of education we do.

Lastly, the school can remove children who need to be removed. They don't do it often, but when a real problem arises the child is disenrolled. This saves the teacher from directing a majority of his/her time to one particular student at the expense of the others.

I think that about sums it up.

 

[connorlevismom]

Without any intention of offending anyone - honestly!


We are great believers in supply and demand. I see paying directly for the education dd receives as giving me a great voice in all matters concerning her education. The school is accountable to the families enrolled through a very direct line. I also like knowing that every kid in the school has a parent who is dedicated to their education. If they weren't (sadly, as some parents are not) they wouldn't be coughing up the tuition. I am also proud the school offers tuition assistance to families in need with no consideration given to ability to pay when a student applies to attend. Part of the tuition we pay is used to fund children whose parents cannot afford the pricetag, but want the same level of education we do.

Lastly, the school can remove children who need to be removed. They don't do it often, but when a real problem arises the child is disenrolled. This saves the teacher from directing a majority of his/her time to one particular student at the expense of the others.

I think that about sums it up.

You and your DH sound a lot like us. And I think that is why I struggle so much with this decision. I too, have some major issues with public schools and what goes on in them. I like the idea that when I pay tuition to a private school, it is going to THAT school to help MY child. In public school, you just cough up the money and have no say in where it goes and what happens to it. I also like the idea that the school is accountable to the parents that pay for the school to run. I am totally loving the fact that it is a more disciplined arena and if you misbahave, your out. I want my son to grow up with adults EXPECTING that he give them respect. In public schools they unfortunately don't have that luxury and have to deal with those problem kids day in and day out.

On the other hand, I think that public school is more diverse and more like the real world. I think that sports wise and even class wise, they sometimes offer more. I like that I don't have to pay for him to go there (well I do with taxes but you know what I mean) . And the school district we would be putting him in has outstanding test scores and the kids are really smart. So my issue with that is, would he REALLY learn all that more in private? But then a girl in my department said that she went to public school and a private college. She said that you could tell the kids who went to private school because they were so much smarter than the kids who went to private. They knew a lot more. I have no idea what exactly she meant by that and I don't want to start a debate about it, but those were her feelings.

Kristine

 

[PlutoPony]

Also consider the social side of the decision..... Assuming you live in a typical suburban neighborhood, going to the local public school means you're there with the kids who live around you - and that becomes a big part of the social fabric of the neighborhood. A few kids go to private schools on our street and while they spend some time hanging with the "PS kids", they tell me they don't feel a part of things because they go to a different school. DS is this year going to a different middle school from most of the kids in our neighborhood (a new MS opened for us but he stayed at the old school because of an academic program he's in) and he's finding he doesn't have as much in common with his "old friends" since the change. And these kids go back 7+ years as friends! Not saying this is the biggest reason to make a decision about which school but IMHO I wouldn't ignore it either....

My 2 cents good luck with your decision!

 

[bzzymom]

I send my son (10) to private school even though we have public with good rating a few blocks away from where we live. I do it for a couple of reasons. First, it is a catholic school which is our religion and I prefer to have him learn his religion there during the school day, than to meetings in the evening. Second, there are clubs and activities after school that our public school doesn't have...geography club, art club, chess club and so on. Plus, I was in band in school and started in 5th grade. DH is very interested in music. The band at our private school starts in 4th grade. Plus, they have after school music groups. My son plays the clarinet (mine from when I was a kid) and after school is participates in a drum ensamble. They march in parades along with the junior high kids. Our public school system doesn't start music until 6th grade, and they do not do any parades at all until high school. I will have to send DS to public high school because we don't have a private high school in the area.

 

[dawnball]

If you had a choice to either move to a better public school district and pay more in your house payment, or stay where you are and send you child to whatever private school you wanted, what would you do and why?

We've chosen the live somewhere fairly cheap and send our DD to private school. We had a lot of reasons.

1) Neither DH nor I are religious, but he grew up Jewish and wanted DD to have exposure to the Jewish faith/rituals/holidays. That meant either going to synagogue regularly (we'd rather not) or enrolling her in a school that offered religious education as well as traditional education.

2) DD has some special circumstances. We suspect she has a mild case of Asperger's and she has some dietary intolerances. She also appears to be gifted, particularly with math. The school we picked is very supportive of differences, and very rounded - they'll encourage her to progress at her own rate in all areas.

3) School districts change over time. I have a hard time paying a premium for a premier school district when I can pay directly for the school I like best right now. In 5 years my DD's needs might change, the school might change, and we'll just move her to another private school.

4) I worked in public education for years, DH still works with high school teachers and middle/high school students. We have concerns about public schools that are similar to others discussed here.

5) DD's current school goes through 5th grade. We plan to revisit our decision then and determine what would be best for her during middle/high school. Private high school is much more difficult to do well, and I don't know how we'll address that.

 

[rbork]

Interesting topic.
DH and I made this lifestyle choice last year.
We moved from the country to the city about 2years ago in order to be closer to DH job.
We picked a home based on an affordable price and school district with good/decent test scores.
As time went on, we learned that most people that could afford private in 'this city' sent their kid's to private. As the days past, I noticed the people my kid's were meeting were different from ours by way of their behavior and family values.
We thought we would grow to love the area in time. However, as the days past DH and I realized we would want to enroll our kid's into private school for starting in middle school through HS for various reasons.
This ment we would be shelling out tuition for 2 kid's in addition to a mortgage payment. On top of that trying to save for college tuition.
In the end, we realized we didn't fit into 'city living'. Our hearts brought us back to the country. We again looked for homes according to school district. These homes were indeed expensive, higher price tag, higher prop taxes, excellent school district etc.. We could pay a little more in a mortgage, live in a modest home but be able to save $ for college easier. Instead of pumping $$ into tuition, it goes to the college fund. I am a firm believer that kid's get out of public school what they put into it! So now we live in an area where many more families share our values and children behave similier to ours (though not always angelic :rotfl ). I of course don't always agree with the public school policies but recognize the fact that I wouldn't always agree with a private's policy either.
We chose to shelter the kid's a bit by moving back to the country and lessen their exposure to certain ideas/values while giving them a good education to best prepare them for college. I am so blessed to have a choice and respect others choices as well as those who might not have a choice of public vs. private.

 

[Captain_Hook]

IS the public school "better" only because of higher test scores or is there a crime element to that school -- I know your son is very young, but elementary schools are all feeder schools that ultimately go to specific high schools. I know where I live there are certain public schools where I would not want my child to go. The thing to consider is even if your child goes to a private school -- you may still be in a neighborhood where the majority of the kids are going the public route. Those kids will be bringing friends home from the public school and your child will probably be socializing with them (eventually) on some level. I only bring that up because of the crime/drug/gang issues I see with certain schools by me.

PERSONALLY -- I will probably send my child to public school (assuming DH has no objection) through middle school and then on to private school for high school. This is what I did. In hindsight I see that the kids who were in public school for some extended period of time were more/better socialized than their private school peers and more accepting of different people (not scared of "scary looking" people, ie tatoos, piercings...). I have also found that Baltimore is a small town and when people find out you grew up in the area, they want to know where you went to high school -- it is a big networking tool -- more so than college. I also figure if a child needs assistance with school (special resources) public schools are more prepared and (I believe) required to provide those resources. (Probably determined at an early age -- once resources are begun, the determination could be made if they need to be continued, how long, can private schools provide comparable recources....) Hopefully won't be a factor, but just something to consider.

I do like to point out to people that I went to law school with and now work with someone who went to a local public high school and I went to the private school and we are both at the same exact place in our lives -- same profession, same career, same level of post grad work. I guess it just goes to show you that you get out of your education what you put into it....

 

[connorlevismom]

IS the public school "better" only because of higher test scores or is there a crime element to that school -- I know your son is very young, but elementary schools are all feeder schools that ultimately go to specific high schools. [\QUOTE]

No, the area is a very nice little community with very little crime or anything like that. There is only one high school in the district so I know he will attend that HS. That is assuming that borders wont change. But I cannot always count on that either.

Wow - who knew school would be such a hard decision?

Kristine

 

[maxtomsmom]

IS the public school "better" only because of higher test scores or is there a crime element to that school -- I know your son is very young, but elementary schools are all feeder schools that ultimately go to specific high schools. [\QUOTE]

No, the area is a very nice little community with very little crime or anything like that. There is only one high school in the district so I know he will attend that HS. That is assuming that borders wont change. But I cannot always count on that either.

Wow - who knew school would be such a hard decision?

Kristine

It's so hard because, although they only go for 12 years, they take the memories and skills taught while attending there with them for a life time.

 

[cissy]

IS the public school "better" only because of higher test scores or is there a crime element to that school -- I know your son is very young, but elementary schools are all feeder schools that ultimately go to specific high schools. I know where I live there are certain public schools where I would not want my child to go. The thing to consider is even if your child goes to a private school -- you may still be in a neighborhood where the majority of the kids are going the public route. Those kids will be bringing friends home from the public school and your child will probably be socializing with them (eventually) on some level. I only bring that up because of the crime/drug/gang issues I see with certain schools by me.

PERSONALLY -- I will probably send my child to public school (assuming DH has no objection) through middle school and then on to private school for high school. This is what I did. In hindsight I see that the kids who were in public school for some extended period of time were more/better socialized than their private school peers and more accepting of different people (not scared of "scary looking" people, ie tatoos, piercings...). I have also found that Baltimore is a small town and when people find out you grew up in the area, they want to know where you went to high school -- it is a big networking tool -- more so than college. I also figure if a child needs assistance with school (special resources) public schools are more prepared and (I believe) required to provide those resources. (Probably determined at an early age -- once resources are begun, the determination could be made if they need to be continued, how long, can private schools provide comparable recources....) Hopefully won't be a factor, but just something to consider.

I do like to point out to people that I went to law school with and now work with someone who went to a local public high school and I went to the private school and we are both at the same exact place in our lives -- same profession, same career, same level of post grad work. I guess it just goes to show you that you get out of your education what you put into it....

Um...I went to both and I have to strongly disagree that people who attend private schools are not socialized as well as public schools. That is just opinion, not fact. And sure, a private school education does not automatically mean better jobs or careers. That is silly. And where we live, (and probably in most places), your child can receive special testing and benefits whether they attend public or private school. Your taxes entitle you to all of that special stuff, regardless of where your child attends school. As a mater of fact, some of the home school kids in my neighborhood play on the public high school volleyball team. Again, their parents pay taxes, therefore they can play.

I walk every morning with a Catholic school mom and her son was just tested by the county by 12 different experts. Free of charge as she pays taxes. So check that out if that may be an issue.

As for the kids in your neighborhood all going to the same schools, well, no. We have 210 homes in our neighborhood and I know people who send their kids to at 7 different elementary schools and two home school. So that is NINE different schools right there. And I certainly don't know everyone in the subdivision. There are kids in the:

public base school traditional calendar
public base school year round calendar
Catholic private school
Charter school
public magnet school year round calendar
2 Montessori schools
2 home school families

So all I can tell you is to do your research. Go see the school. TALK to as many people as you can. Know the different philosophies for the different schools. Go to observations. Not all private schools are alike. If you go that route, find the one that will best fit your family. Research, research, research!

Really, you will know the school when you see and observe in it. It will just feel right to you. That is how we found our private school. Best of luck.

 

[badblackpug]

A few things I thought about. Just because parents pony up a larhe amount of money for private school tuition does not, necessarily, mean that they are "involved" or "interested" in their child's education. I know parent who pay large amounts of tuition for private school simply for the prestige factor. Also, I don't think that privately schooled kids are necessarily "sheltered" but private schools are definitely more homogenous. Mostly, you are surrounded by peers of the same socioeconomic class, culture, and/or religious beliefs as yourself. (depending on the school) That being said, it would depend on the school district and my child. Personally I would rather live in the nice neighborhood and use the public schools. In my town the local public schools offer more "bang for the buck." (but my property taxes are insane ) They offer a larger variety of activies at no extra cost. The private schools in my area have the activities, but you have to pay extra, over an above your tuition. Also, some private schools are not equipped to deal with children who have special needs. Whether they be gifted programs or special ed. They are less likely to deal with kids that have behavior issues (ADD/ADHD). Again, it depends on the school. I would rather live in an area where I felt safe and part of a community.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

***

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

IS the public school "better" only because of higher test scores or is there a crime element to that school -- I know your son is very young, but elementary schools are all feeder schools that ultimately go to specific high schools. [\QUOTE]

No, the area is a very nice little community with very little crime or anything like that. There is only one high school in the district so I know he will attend that HS. That is assuming that borders wont change. But I cannot always count on that either.

Wow - who knew school would be such a hard decision?

Kristine

You must live in Alexandria- that is where I live as well... What is your school district?