If a neighbor was watching your child undress.....

[LisaR]

http://www.detnews.com/article/20111208/OPINION03/112080399/Column--Peeping-case-doubly-troubling

Summary:
Neighbor is a well respected pediatrician. Mom notices him watching her daughter through the window while the girl is getting undressed. Mom decides to record his behavior on her ipad.

I understand the mom wanting proof. She would likely not have a leg to stand on if she went to the police and accused the neighbor of said behavior without evidence. However, I can't imagine using my 12 y/o daughter as bait, either.

"Honey, mommy thinks our pediatrician and next door neighbor is getting off on watching you dress/undress in front of the window. I want you to continue to parade in front of the open blinds in a state of undress and I will tape it all."

Not sure that is the way I would have handled it.

 

[RitaE]

Wow. Tough call to think she allowed it to happen not just again, but a total of 4 times in order to get her proof. It makes me uncomfortable too.

I'm glad she nailed the guy, I'm not sure about the price. There had to be a better way.

 

[RitaZ.]

http://www.detnews.com/article/20111208/OPINION03/112080399/Column--Peeping-case-doubly-troubling

Summary:
Neighbor is a well respected pediatrician. Mom notices him watching her daughter through the window while the girl is getting undressed. Mom decides to record his behavior on her ipad.

I understand the mom wanting proof. She would likely not have a leg to stand on if she went to the police and accused the neighbor of said behavior without evidence. However, I can't imagine using my 12 y/o daughter as bait, either.

"Honey, mommy thinks our pediatrician and next door neighbor is getting off on watching you dress/undress in front of the window. I want you to continue to parade in front of the open blinds in a state of undress and I will tape it all."

Not sure that is the way I would have handled it.

Yeah, I have a real problem with that.

 

[Coconut36]

Wow...not once but four times she knowingly observes this and does/says nothing to protect her daughter? I get wanting evidence but to allow it to happen 4 times is very disturbing to me. Once I can see..if she propped up the iPad the first time..OK..but to let it go on and on again? Very wrong on her part as well. (and why wouldn't she immediately remind her 12 year old she should make sure blinds are closed when changing clothes? Even if there was no peeping perv at the time it is a good life lesson to the girl as it is).

 

[Uncle Remus]

She shoulda used a different point 'n shoot device.

 

[hereyago]

She shoulda used a different point 'n shoot device.

Winner winner chicken dinner! lol. I can see why the mom would want to have proof and show that the perv consistently did it, but on the other hand, how do you tell your DD that you essentially set her up as bait? I couldn't live with myself knowing I did that.

 

[scrapquitler]

http://www.detnews.com/article/20111208/OPINION03/112080399/Column--Peeping-case-doubly-troubling

Summary:
Neighbor is a well respected pediatrician. Mom notices him watching her daughter through the window while the girl is getting undressed. Mom decides to record his behavior on her ipad..

Definitely NOT how I would have handled it. The very FIRST thing that would have happened in my house would have been a reminder to my Daughter that she should have closed the blinds or curtains in her room!

Then again, in our house we close the blinds or curtains if we are getting dressed near the window. Actually, as soon as it gets dark we close the blinds in the bedrooms regardless of if we are getting dressed in that room or not. Isn't that just plain old common sense????

The child should feel violated. And I don't just mean by the peeping Tom pediatrician...the Mom violated the daughters privacy as well by using her as bait!

 

[kamik86]

But with no proof there would be no way to get this guy. A doctor to children... who knows how many teenagers go in his office alone!

I'm not sure what I would do in this situation.

However I know if it was me that was being watched I would allow myself to be again to get the proof.

 

[npmommie]

She shoulda used a different point 'n shoot device.

I agree she should have handled it differently.
I also didn't like that the writer felt she should have just closed the blinds and let it go, instead of "ruining" his life and career

 

[LisaR]

She shoulda used a different point 'n shoot device.

I agree she should have handled it differently.
I also didn't like that the writer felt she should have just closed the blinds and let it go, instead of "ruining" his life and career

I agree. I don't care if I ruin someone's career because they are peeping in on my kid. Not my problem. Closing my blinds and ignoring it are not an option in my book but recording it over four days isn't an option either.

 

[indimom]

She definitely used her daughter, but did she protect countless other young kids from a would-be predator? He was a well-respected pediatrician, with access to countless kids every day, and who is going to believe her word over his???

I don't think I would have responded this way, but this is a really tough call for me.

I don't think I can judge her when her methods probably will get better results than:
1. Shutting the blinds and finding a new pediatrician.
2. Allowing dad to beat doctor/neighbor's head into the ground.
3. Going to the cops with a story about how I saw neighbor/doc watching my daughter undress on one occasion.
4. Trying to alert my friends and neighbor via the community rumor mill.

 

[dalt01]

he should not have been able to see in in the first place.............................................

 

[Uncle Remus]

he should not have been able to see in in the first place.............................................

Yeah, the more I think about it, the poor guy was tempted, he couldn't help it, that child is to blame, she shouldn't feel safe in her own home.

 

[scrapquitler]

I agree she should have handled it differently.
I also didn't like that the writer felt she should have just closed the blinds and let it go, instead of "ruining" his life and career

If the blinds had been closed in the first place he would not have had the opportunity to gawk at the child undressing. The mother should have had the child close the blinds immediately and instructed the child to always close the blinds at night (I'm flabbergasted that the child didn't already know to do that). You can't be a victim if you don't give the creep an opportunity. This was completely preventable from the get-go.

 

[Robinrs]

She definitely used her daughter, but did she protect countless other young kids from a would-be predator? He was a well-respected pediatrician, with access to countless kids every day, and who is going to believe her word over his???

Agreed.

If he was the garbage man it would a different thing, but this man is a pediatrician... and he gets off watching kids undress? Looks like he picked the right profession.

She wouldn't have had a leg to stand on if it was her word against his. She had to have proof and it WORKED.

The girl was not molested like in the Sandusky case, she'll survive depending on how it's handled. It's HIM that needed to be reprimanded and I for one, am glad he was.

 

[dngnb8]

My first response is to check my child. Curtains open? in front of window etc?

I advise her that people can see right into the house and have her make sure the curtains are closed. I would even put up a window screen that blocks view.

I would also have an "off the record" discussion with my neighbor.

Other then that, I dont think one can do any more. I used to have neighbors whose teen girls would sunbathe au natural in their backyard to get that "no lines" tan. I did inform their parents. Interestingly enough , they moved not too long after, during the wee hours of the night.....

 

[Coconut36]

My first response is to check my child. Curtains open? in front of window etc?

I advise her that people can see right into the house and have her make sure the curtains are closed. I would even put up a window screen that blocks view.

I would also have an "off the record" discussion with my neighbor.

Other then that, I dont think one can do any more. I used to have neighbors whose teen girls would sunbathe au natural in their backyard to get that "no lines" tan. I did inform their parents. Interestingly enough , they moved not too long after, during the wee hours of the night.....

Not sure I understand what you are implying regarding "moved during the wee hours of the night" in relation to the teen sunbathing nude. I don't understand what one has to do with the other.

 

[dngnb8]

Not sure I understand what you are implying regarding "moved during the wee hours of the night" in relation to the teen sunbathing nude. I don't understand what one has to do with the other.

I dont think the move was related to the nude sun bathing. I just found it odd that one day they were there, then the next morning, the house was vacant of all things.

 

[dalt01]

Yeah, the more I think about it, the poor guy was tempted, he couldn't help it, that child is to blame, she shouldn't feel safe in her own home.

oh, come on.....somebodys always trying to start a fight.....i did not even hint at that....parents must practice due diligence. the best way to handle something like this is to prevent it from happening.

 

[mom2maggie]

When I was growing up, we had a neighbor that would stare out of his window up to my sisters window and watch them. So my mom did what any reasonable person would do - SHE PUT UP CURTAINS. Problem solved.