Ideas to help my kids while I'm gone for 12 days?

[wrldpossibility]

Hi all,

I'm a SAHM and I'm leaving in 3 weeks to spend 12 days visiting my sister who lives in Dublin, Ireland. DH and I debated bringing the whole family, but it's too expensive and I think the kids will get more out of Europe when they're a bit older (they are 8, 6, and 2). Instead, I am going alone, which I am looking forward to! My sis and I are going to spend the time touring Ireland and detouring to Rome (a cheap flight from Dublin, and somewhere neither of us have been). I'll be gone 12 days, and the kids will be with my husband and my parents.

I'm wondering if anyone has ideas of little treats or something I can leave for them to help with the seperation. I will send postcards, emails, and call, but I thought you all might have great ideas to help them not miss me (and vice versa!). Also, I know some of you will think I shouldn't leave my kids at all, but I believe this trip is a good thing and I'm not cancelling it, so maybe refrain from posting if you only have that to add. I'm not asking for advice on whether to go. Thanks!

 

[dismom9761]

Do you have a tape recorder?Maybe you could make a recording of reading some favorite books and the kids(especially the youngest) could listen before bed.Also you could buy a small cheap photo album and put some special pictures of you and the kids in it for them to have.

Sounds like it will be a great opportunity for you!

 

[swillis]

First of all (and please don't take this the wrong way) I think you should not feel so guilty about going away and leaving your kids at home. I'm assuming that they will be in the care of someone who loves them, and will help to reassure them while you are away?
Maybe you can make up a few packages filled with some cheap, but fun items and mail one right before you leave (they will get that one right away) and then maybe stash a few more with a friend or relative to mail on certain days so they will get a "little something" every few days while you are away.

I would try to down play your anxiety at leaving them. They will begin to pick up on it, and start to wonder why you are so uncomfortable. They may start to think they should be worried about it also. It's good for Moms to get some alone time. You will come back refreshed, and recharged, and this will make you a better Mom!

Again, I don't mean to offend you, but I honestly think that some of us are so guilt ridden when we do something for ourselves, that we forget that we are people too! We had a life, and passions, and identites before we had children, and I think it's ok to take some time out of our always busy lives to nurture those passions once in awhile. So have a wonderful trip! Enjoy a Guiness for me!

 

[goinback]

I would buy them each a special stuffed animal and make a show of giving it "Mommy's hugs and kisses" before your trip. Tell them if they miss you, they can go get their animal and your hugs and kisses will be all over it!

 

[antsss]

Don't feel guilty...go and have fun. Before you go can you videotape yourself reading a few of the kids favorite books? Send a postcard every day you're away?

 

[Princess Roo]

I agree with a lot of what Sunni says. I would play up how much fun they're going to have with the grandparents and downplay that they will miss you/you miss them. I like the stuffed animal idea or little daily gifts, but I really think they will do great...especially since their dad will still be there and they'll get to see their grandparents. You should try not to feel at all guilty if you can help it!!

Are there some fun things in the area that your parents can do with the kids? (Theme park, zoo, pools, etc.) that they can have to look forward to during the visit, too, maybe? Or one thing I loved as a kid was getting 1-on-1 time with a grandparent. Maybe one child could go to a movie with grandpa one day and other to lunch a different day with grandma, etc.? Just fun stuff to break the 12 days up into smaller chunks?

 

[DawnM]

I went to China for 2.5 weeks to get my little one. I left the older 2 with Dad. I bought several new Lego sets and such for them to get as gifts from me while I was away.

I called every night.

Can I just say that by the time I got home, they really, really appreciated me!!!!!!!

DH said they kept saying, "Mommy doesn't do it that way!" the whole time I was gone!

Dawn

 

[Tikicampers]

Oprah had a segment about service men and women that were videotaped reading bedtime stories for their kids. I think that would be a cute idea.

 

[neonurse]

Your kids will have an easier time than you will. Speaking from experience. My husband and I went on a cruise. We had never left them before. My DSs were ages 6 and 10. My mom was staying with them. I had such a hard time leaving, I even took pics with me to look at everyday. I bought goodies that they don't normally get to have like pop tarts, fruit roll ups and wrapped them up. One for each day that we were gone. It was hard not calling (since phone calls are very expensive on a cruise). When we got back they were happy to see us but they said that they didn't miss us that much...THAT HURT!!
I think that the tape recording of you reading books would be a great idea. I agree with the other poster about mom's being hard on themselves about leaving their kids. I hope you have a wonderful time in Ireland!!!

 

[DawnM]

Well, the cruise mention sparked me to remember what happened just 2 weeks ago. A couple was taking a cruise and left their kids with close friends. Their oldest was 11. He was in a horsebackriding freak accident and died before they could get back. This was most certainly a freak accident and could/probably would have happened had they been home, but still.....it was horrible.

Dawn

Your kids will have an easier time than you will. Speaking from experience. My husband and I went on a cruise. We had never left them before. My DSs were ages 6 and 10. My mom was staying with them. I had such a hard time leaving, I even took pics with me to look at everyday. I bought goodies that they don't normally get to have like pop tarts, fruit roll ups and wrapped them up. One for each day that we were gone. It was hard not calling (since phone calls are very expensive on a cruise). When we got back they were happy to see us but they said that they didn't miss us that much...THAT HURT!!
I think that the tape recording of you reading books would be a great idea. I agree with the other poster about mom's being hard on themselves about leaving their kids. I hope you have a wonderful time in Ireland!!!

 

[mrsltg]

Well, the cruise mention sparked me to remember what happened just 2 weeks ago. A couple was taking a cruise and left their kids with close friends. Their oldest was 11. He was in a horsebackriding freak accident and died before they could get back. This was most certainly a freak accident and could/probably would have happened had they been home, but still.....it was horrible.

Dawn

I get where you're going, but probably NOT what the OP needed to hear.....

I have never been away from my kids for 12 days, but have taken a couple of week long vacations with DH - alone, and many business trips of 4-5 days at a time. It is harder for me than it is for them. I always bring them a special treat from wherever I am (luckily for older dd I go to Chicago A LOT and she LOVES American Girl!) and just spend a lot of extra time with them leading up to the trip.

Something I do, for me, is write them each a letter - just in case. I talk about what they are doing now in their lives and how special and wonderful they are to me. I talk about why I am going wherever I am going and what I will be doing while I am there. I leave the letters with DH. Each girl now has a nice stack of letters for when she's older and thinks I'm an ogre!

Have a wonderful time!

 

[wrldpossibility]

Thank you to everyone who posted useful advice! The kids will split their time between home (with Dad) and Grandma and Grandpa's home, which is only a few miles away while Dad is working. While with the grandparents, they're spending 3 days on the coast a few hours away, which will be fun. They have activities planned.

I love the idea of reading to them and taping it, and leaving a letters (I may do that every few days for them to find instead of toys...they'll have just had b-days). The only problem with postcards is that I know from experience when other family has gone to Ireland that it takes over a week for it to be delivered back to the US! And of course they'll get great souvies!

Thanks for the posters who helped allieve my guilt! You're right...we're not JUST moms. We have our own interests and passions that must have a place in our lives too. Thanks!

 

[java]

How about hiding some treats in the house and each day you give them a clue that gets them closer.- so they will be anxious for your call too! Maybe make a little 12 day tear off calendar- they can pull off one thing each day until you come back(and if the people watching the kids are up for it maybe each one could have something fun that they can do that day- Like go to the park or rent a fun movie= or paint or ride bikes or make cookies or or or....
My point is there is plenty for them to do while you are gone *I went for one night and got non-stop phone calls even just my 24 hours was great- It reminded me that I am a person not just a mom. I had so much fun I felt like I found me again. Have a great time with your sister. I am thinking of trying to do one of those too(my sister is in CA we are in NJ)See no trips in 12 years and now I am thinking of going yearly!! Enjoy you trip it will be wonderful!

 

[hydster]

When my kids were younger it was hard on me to leave them too. I remember trip after trip bawling all the way to the airport and up and until we were in the air. It's gotten much easier now that we leave them more regularly AND they are older. One thing we did when my youngest was much younger *maybe 4* was take them to build a bear. They picked out a bear and we got one of the voice inserts they could push when they missed us. Dad and I gave each bear voice a kiss before it was put into the bear, kissed the bear heart that they let them put in it and it was great! It seemed to help them and my DD *now 13* still holds on to hers when we go somewhere.

We made a countdown calendar when they were younger with goofy pictures of us for each day and made it like an advent calendar where they could see mom and dad being weird with them.

Good for you being able to go though! The kids will be just great and so will you! They at least have dad home with them as part of a semi normal routine which will help them and grandparents who will spoil them I'm sure.

Have a great time! Those 12 days will go by so quick for all of you and they will all *Dh* included appreciate you more when you return!

 

[donac]

How about asking them to pick a friend(stuffed animal) that can go with you and take pictures of you and their friends on your trip. Tell them with the friends you are taking it will make you think about them more and then they will have some fun pictures to show friends.

 

[NotUrsula]

E-mail, of course, with lots of digital pics and attached sound files if your sister's computer can create them. Buy your phone card in Ireland, it will be cheaper for you to call back to the States that way.

Personally I'd love to get to go to Ireland and have some grownup time to myself; for us that it is family visit time, and we run ourselves ragged going from one elderly relative to another all over the country. Naturally, NOT taking the kids to see the old folks would be unthinkable (sigh).

Be sure to bring back some treats for them; mine would kill me if we didn't stock up on Penguins while we were there. (Those are really popular with their friends because of the silly riddles on the wrappers.)

 

[MSSANDRA]

Maybe get dad involved and "talk up" all the rules that they are going to break while you are gone. They might have ice cream for dinner or sleep in the living room or stay up till mid-night or whatever but don't tell mommy. They will think it is so funny. I also agree that planning lots of fun stuff, zoo, movie, pool etc is a great idea. CAll at the same time each day if you can and maybe give each of them a "free" call mommy on her cell phone if you have international service!

 

[wrldpossibility]

Thanks guys! NotUrsula, can you give me any other souvenir/special treat ideas? Any special candies or small toys that are unique to Dublin or Ireland that my boys would like? Just so I can keep an eye out. I'd love to take all the kids with me, but the cost (and LONG flights from the West Coast that make it almost torture for the 2-year-old) really dictate that we wait on that!

I made an advent calendar using a blown up picture of the boys (at WDW actually). I thought they'd think it was fun to open the windows on their own faces. Under the flaps, I wrote something they'll be doing that day (Today you're going to the coast with Grandma, or Today is Nate's soccer game). Then they can see concretely when I'm going to return. Then two days after I'm back, we have a family weekend trip planned that they're looking forward to (the timing is not my choice...I'll still be jetlagged, but I'll be so happy to see the kids I won't mind, right? Right?! )

 

[GraysMom]

Do you and your sister have computers with Internet access? You could buy two cheap webcams (one for home, one to take with you) and "see" your kids (and vice versa) over the computer every day (there are websites where you can do this for free-so you wouldn't have to spend a huge amount calling)?

Have a great trip!