I witnessed something very disturbing today (long)

[MELSMICE]

Before I start, I realize this can be a hot topic.........

Took DD to the allergist for her first set of allergy shots. In come a mom, dad & little girl (about 2 1/2). Dad goes in for his shots.

While in there the little girl wants to play with moms purse. Mom says no & little girl sits on chair crying a little & whimpering - no big deal at all. Dad comes out & asks what's wrong - mom explains.

Dad tells little girl to be quiet & "stop her crying". Little girl still whimpers a little, dad tells her about 2 more times to "knock it off". He finally grabs her by the back of her coat at the neck, drags her across the floor & says, "I told you to stop your crying, knock if off right now".

Little girl is now whimpering more (I'm assuming because dad has now dragged her across floor by the neck). He tells her 2 more times to "knock it off". He finally picks her up under his arm. As he does this she starts yelling, "No daddy, no daddy, please don't daddy".

My heart was breaking, racing & in my throat all at the same time as I watched this father take his 2 1/2 year old into the hallway. Next thing I could hear was him hitting her 3 times. He walks back in with her, pushes her in front of her mother, sits down & says, "now, stop your crying, I've had enough". ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me. My DD & I looked at each other in total shock.

It was all I could do to not lay in to this so called "man".

I am upset at myself & disappointed that I didn't have the guts to say something to this idiot. All I kept thinking was that I should mind my own business because I might make it worse for the little girl. I was not the only one in the waiting room - there was another woman. Now I am second guessing my cowardness. I have been thinking about it all day.

BTW - the little girl's name was Lydia.

 

[Spidey7]

Yeah that sucks, I don't understand people like this, but I firmly believe that child abusers have something extra special waiting for them after they die, and it wont be very nice. Ever see that movie Hellraiser, I'm hoping that that is what they have in store for them.

 

[Nynaeve]

Poor little girl!

I'm wondering what the mom did when this was going on. It's really telling that she was yelling 'no daddy' when he picked her up. Poor little girl knew what her was going to do, it's obviously happened before.

 

[Hannathy]

I would hardly call three whacks on the butt (I'm assuming butt) child abuse.

He did give her quite a few chances.

 

[Buckalew11]

Just reading this made me feel sick to my stomach. I remember the phrase "Stop your crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

I hardly think that a whimper is worth any number of "whacks". It may have been different if she would not leave the purse alone and keep getting into it after being told not to. The father has issues and I am sure that little girl deals with his issues every darn day.

 

[Nikel]

When will people understand that toddlers are NOT mini adults and literally do not have the ability to behave like adults?

 

[NMAmy]

You know, I just don't understand how anyone can think the way to make someone STOP crying is by dragging them across the floor and then hitting them.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

Wow...that's all I can say. I think the part that bothers me the most about the whole story is the fact the little girl said something like, "No daddy, not again daddy". That just breaks my heart.

Punishing a child is one thing, but beating is another. I'm not saying that a beating took place, I'm just making a statement in general.

 

[Chattyaholic]

I would hardly call three whacks on the butt (I'm assuming butt) child abuse.

He did give her quite a few chances.

ITA. If she knew she was going to be spanked (hardly child abuse!) if she continued whimpering when she was told to stop, then she should have stopped.

My DH's mother was the type to say "if you keep crying I'm going to give you something to cry about" and she would do just that. He grew up to be a wonderful man. Spanking is NOT "child abuse."

If more parents believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child" I think there would be less "problem children" in the world today. Same goes for in schools. Teachers and principals should still be able to spank students when necessary. Kids today know that teachers/principals "can't touch them" and so many parents are of the "time out" mindset so kids know they can get away with a whole heck of a lot more than they used to. Sad.

 

[mickeyboat]

I feel so sorry for Lydia. Poor baby. I am guessing this is neither the first nor the last time she will be punished this way.

I am actually not anti-spanking, although I don't use it as a discipline method because other methods we use work. I have spanked my kids before, and afterwards realized I had done it in anger, no matter how much I tried to tell myself it was because I was trying to correct their behavor.

OP - I don't think there was anything you could have really done in this situation, and I shudder to think what might have happened to you if you had intervened.

Denae

 

[mickeyboat]

ITA. If she knew she was going to be spanked (hardly child abuse!) if she continued whimpering when she was told to stop, then she should have stopped.

I see it differently. If she knew she was going to be spanked, and continued to whimper, spanking does not seem to be a very effective method of discipline for her.

Denae

 

[3jsmommy]

I would hardly call three whacks on the butt (I'm assuming butt) child abuse.

He did give her quite a few chances.

Are you serious?
The OP said the child was 2&1/2!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I think it's horrific that anyone would do that to a two-year-old child, and more horrific that anyone would try to excuse it. We are not talking about "three whacks on the butt" here. He dragged the child by her neck. He hit (spanked, for those who want to sugarcoat it) her three times, and the OP did NOT know if it was on the behind or somewhere else as she could not see them at that time. He shoved the child back towards her mother. That is physical and emotional abuse. He assaulted and terrorized that child. I don't give a flaming rip who disagrees with me, either. I won't even be debating it on this thread, because there's no point. The same people always excuse or condone it, and bring out the usual pro-spanking arguments. Hitting a child is ALWAYS wrong...but this was downright abusive. I would have stepped in immediately and called the police and/or child protective services had I witnessed the same incident (yes, really). DRAGGING HER BY HER NECK??? You have got to be kidding me!!! This is my MAJOR hot-button issue. It sickens me how people will defend corporal punishment--no matter how young the child, no matter how severe the assault, no matter how terrified the victim. IT'S WRONG. PERIOD. Ugh.
I'm sorry you had to witness that, OP. I know it's frightening. Next time, I'm sure you will speak up! Don't beat yourself up about it.

Oh, and since I am being totally candid here...
He gave her quite a few chances? Not to be physically attacked by one of the two people who should always keep her safe? And she blew it, so that makes it okay to assault her? I want to vomit just reading those words. Truly.

 

[luvsJack]

Whether someone believes in spanking children or not, spanking a child for crying doesn't make any sense. The child is already crying, then you hit them, it hurts, naturally they cry more (hello!! thats what kids do when something hurts). The adult is being completely unreasonable. Besides, being dragged around by the collar does not fall under the heading of spanking. If he had calmly walked the child from the room, that would be one thing, but he could have hurt that child. But, I can understand why you didn't say anything. It's hard to know what to do in a situation like that. You just can't be sure how someone is going to react and if you will be making the situation worse.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I do think there are times for a spanking (though we don't spank in our house, well the kids are too old for that now, but when they were younger we didn't spank then either). This was not one of those times. Plus there was more going on than just spanking. Yanking a kid around by her collar, shoving her, etc. Poor thing.

 

[MELSMICE]

Poor little girl!

I'm wondering what the mom did when this was going on. It's really telling that she was yelling 'no daddy' when he picked her up. Poor little girl knew what her was going to do, it's obviously happened before.

Mom sat there & just starred straight ahead. Had no reaction whatsoever.

I would hardly call three whacks on the butt (I'm assuming butt) child abuse.

He did give her quite a few chances.

I'm assuming it was the butt also, but I couldn't see. However, it was loud enough that I could hear it in an inner office with the door closed.

When will people understand that toddlers are NOT mini adults and literally do not have the ability to behave like adults?

This what I was thinking when I was witnessing all this. She is really just a baby - learning right from wrong. A toddler can not turn off the tears immediately because they are told to.

Not to mention, it wasn't like it was some big behavior problem. She was not throwing a temper tantrum. Just pouting - whimpering. She only looked about 2 1/2. Still learning many things.

Nice lesson she learned from her dad today. Still makes me sick to think about it.

 

[MnParrothead]

Dragging a child across the floor by her neck IS child abuse, if you ask me. Wouldn't the allergist be a mandatory reporter if you told him/her what you saw? I don't think confronting the father would have been a good idea.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

ITA. If she knew she was going to be spanked (hardly child abuse!) if she continued whimpering when she was told to stop, then she should have stopped.

My DH's mother was the type to say "if you keep crying I'm going to give you something to cry about" and she would do just that. He grew up to be a wonderful man. Spanking is NOT "child abuse."

If more parents believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child" I think there would be less "problem children" in the world today. Same goes for in schools. Teachers and principals should still be able to spank students when necessary. Kids today know that teachers/principals "can't touch them" and so many parents are of the "time out" mindset so kids know they can get away with a whole heck of a lot more than they used to. Sad.

I fully agree with you. When my children disobey repeatedly and we also spank them. It is always on the hiney and it is not little love pats. They are some of the most well-behaved children that we know. All of our friends also spank their children. We have never had anyone say anything to us for spanking them in public, either. Actually one time I recieved a round of applause when my youngest DD was 2 1/2. She was going through a very bad phase and just would not listen and had thrown herself down kicking and screamimg in the middle of the aisle at Wal-mart. I calmly asked her to get up several times. I tried to gently help her up. When that didn't work I picked her up told her that was enough spanked her hiney and on we walked. Everyone thought she REALLY deserved that spank! LOL! She was SOO embarrassed that was the last time she has ever, or any of my children for that matter, has ever acted out like that in public! LOL! Can't say I blame any of them. My oldest son was about 5 1/2 at the time and he kept BEGGING her to get up b/c she was embarrassing him so bad.

 

[3jsmommy]

ITA. If she knew she was going to be spanked (hardly child abuse!) if she continued whimpering when she was told to stop, then she should have stopped.

My DH's mother was the type to say "if you keep crying I'm going to give you something to cry about" and she would do just that. He grew up to be a wonderful man. Spanking is NOT "child abuse."

If more parents believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child" I think there would be less "problem children" in the world today. Same goes for in schools. Teachers and principals should still be able to spank students when necessary. Kids today know that teachers/principals "can't touch them" and so many parents are of the "time out" mindset so kids know they can get away with a whole heck of a lot more than they used to. Sad.

WHAT?
So if a children are hit more often the world would be a better place?
Just because you "spare the rod" doesn't mean you "spoil the child"
THere are much better & more intelligent ways to discipline a two year old than hitting!
My kids do not need to be hit by a teacher or principal because they do not get hit at home & understand there are consequences to their actions that don't inlude adults becoming out of control!
All of the Old Scool mindset people out there, let me tell you I guarentee that if you took a survey at a prision & asked how many of the inmates were beaten as kids compared to the same survey at an Ivy League college, you would find the prisioners were beaten MUCH more!

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

He finally grabs her by the back of her coat at the neck, drags her across the floor & says, "I told you to stop your crying, knock if off right now".

Little girl is now whimpering more (I'm assuming because dad has now dragged her across floor by the neck). He tells her 2 more times to "knock it off". He finally picks her up under his arm.

She was not picked up by the neck it was the neck of her Coat- Sometimes when you are a parent you grab the thing nearest you or if extremely irritated and trying to cool down- and article of clothing maybe. I don't see anything wrong with grabbing the coat. She said he them put her under his arm. I have seen lots of parents do this.