I was given the "wait and go when they all will remember it" lecture again

[bumbershoot]

I finally asked my mom the other day where she would suggest we go instead. (Ours are 3 and 1.) I told her to take into consideration the mom factor. In the fact that I wanted and deserved a vacation too and refused to cook and clean the entire time. I asked her what she thought would be easier and cheaper. No beach because I'll be sanding and desanding children all day. No mountains because obviously the 1 year old can't hike. No monuments because really what good are those unless they can remember them! (HA! Love to use their own argument on them!) She was stumped and said let me get back to you. Never did hear back.

Love it!

(And, for the record: if you wait another 5 or 6 years until your youngest "can appreciate it"-- what of your older kids???They'll be kind of past the whole Pirate/Princess thing then, wont' they??)

It's one thing if you only have one kid, well, as long as the parents don't want to go... With us, the parents wanted to go, and where we go, DS goes, so he went! San Diego and Disneyland at 17 months, then a year later, then Disneyland twice and San Diego (and Disneyland) when he was 3, and more at 4 and at 5, WDW at 6, and he'll be 7 for our second WDW visit! The trips are becoming more for him, but in the earlier trips they were for US and he was along for the ride...



But for us, the only one that gets on our case is my MIL. And she seems to think that vacations shouldn't be taken until you are old, it seems. But...she waited until her husband retired to start taking vacations (forgetting that her husband's job sent them all over the WORLD for work, and put them up in the BEST hotels, so they got vacations, paid-for vacations!), then her husband died a year into retirement, leaving her with nothing but debt. No vacations for her (except the ones her adult children pay for...which, by the way, I was the one to suggest we do!). But she thinks vacations are for those with full savings accounts, paid for houses, etc etc....we have always felt differently, and especially so after her experience.

 

[NotUrsula]

...
I know it is a pricey vacation for many and isn't a vacation many people can do often in their lifetime; but no one says don't take a family vacation to the beach or don't go on a camping trip, or don't go on a cruise or where ever because your child "won't remember" or "appreciate" it; or don't take them to the zoo or throw them a nice birthday party until they are a certain age "because they won't remember it". But when you plan a family vacation to Disney World, this theory always comes up. I just don't understand it

You're looking for the reason in the wrong place, which is why you can't find it.

This POV normally is not really about money, at least not so much as it is about the widely-held perception that adults do not LIKE to go to Disney World, and that they only go there to please their children. Therefore, it follows that if the children are not old enough to "appreciate" it, there is no point in going.

The simple answer is, "I'm not going for them, I'm going for me. I *like* Disney World, and watching them enjoy the moment is just a bonus."

 

[Disneymadhouse]

I too have had the "she won't remember it " comment from a family member. We are going next year and DD will have her 4th birthday whilst we are there. I look at that she will remember parts of it and there will be tons of photo's to back up the rest!
I also think it will be lovely for her to look at the 2012 photos ready for our (probably) 2015 trip!

Claire

 

[Zeebs]

If I was only ever going to go once then I would have waited until all my kids were at an age where they could ride everything and remember a lot of it.

We are fortunate that we can afford to go more often.

Although I never understand the reason this question gets so many people upset as a previous poster said.

"I am taking them because I like WDW/Disneyland and we have fun there as a family."

Who cares if people don't understand your destination of choice, they aren't going with you.

Plenty of other things in the world to stress and get annoyed about this is not one I am putting on my list.

Kirsten

 

[tiffsix]

You are creating family memories and spending time together as a family. Those are the most important things to give your children and no one should question where you are going to do it! I never understood why people care that much to even say anything! Are they jealous you didn't invite them along? or resentful that they never were able to take their children? I understand why the OP gets sucked into it though. It is hard to just ignore them and you do start to doubt your decisions but you just have to remind yourself why taking a family vacation to Disney is the best vaction for your family!

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

I WISH we had been able to take our children when they were younger, but we weren't in the financial position. Take them and enjoy every second of it b/c it flies by!

This argument makes no sense. Since they won't remember anything when they are young, you don't need to bother loving them, giving them attention or doing ANYTHING with them...b/c they won't remember, right?

 

[powellrj]

If I was only ever going to go once then I would have waited until all my kids were at an age where they could ride everything and remember a lot of it.

Although I never understand the reason this question gets so many people upset as a previous poster said.

Plenty of other things in the world to stress and get annoyed about this is not one I am putting on my list.

Kirsten

I agree...


If you know its going to annoy you, why do you even tell people you are going? Just tell them you are going to Florida and then there is no drama.

 

[scrapquitler]

Had this discussion with my aunt today and I am tired of trying to explain to certain people that my 2 and 4 year olds will have a lot to enjoy and get out of this Disney World trip we are planning. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but why is the "go when they will remember it" theory always brought up in reference to Disney World and not other family vacation destinations?

I don't get it either. Even IF they don't remember it 15 years from now, YOU will. I'd say to those same relatives telling you not to take them: "Well maybe we shouldn't celebrate their birthdays, maybe we shouldn't do Christmas because they won't remember it?" and see what they say about that.

I always smile, nod my head and then do exactly what I want to do when I have relatives trying to tell me what I 'should' do.

 

[sam_gordon]

As far as answering your question... beach, camping, monuments, etc are different vacations than Disney. You're not going to take a vacation to the beach for the memories. You're going to take the vacation to "decompress" from normal life.

Disney isn't about "decompressing" though. Between lines, money, and crowds, it can often be as stressful as "normal" life. DW & I like to joke we need a vacation when we return from Disney.

As far as a PP comment about not wanting to cook/clean while on vacation, there are other options... cruises, all-inclusive resorts, etc.

 

[msd1962]

I get "you know there are other places you can go" and now that we have a 9 month old we got she will not remember when we took her at 5 months. She has a stuffed Minnie that she tries to put her nose in her mouth all the time. We went to a character meet and she grabbed Minnies now and tried to suck on it. shee tried to chew on donalds beak. She took in all the lights and sounds. she now looks around at everything and is learning quickly. Can not wait till May to see her reactions she will be 11 month.

Go and have fun.

 

[4orm]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: just because my grandparents won't remember it either should they no go either?

 

[Becky2005]

It really is a crazy debate and makes really no sense at all unless you really do plan for this to be your once in a lifetime never again trip. Using the logic of "they won't remember it" can be applied to anything -- besides can my kids NOT go to school because they won't remember it all either? There are grades I don't remember even my teacher's name and I spent an entire year there....maybe I could have not gone because "you won't remember it anyway" theory.

See how that can be twisted?

My DH can't remember half of what we did last time....so apparently he should never go to Disney because "he won't remember it" (then again he doesn't like Disney so...).

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

"Oh, this trip is for us, not the kids ... we just don't feel comfortable leaving them home alone for a week. I don't trust them to feed the dogs and make it to preschool on time, so they're coming along."

 

[DISvirgin1]

Don't get caught up in it. You're an adult. Taking your kids to Disney is legal in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. You don't owe anyone an explanation of how and why you choose to spend your money.

(And, for the record: if you wait another 5 or 6 years until your youngest "can appreciate it"-- what of your older kids???They'll be kind of past the whole Pirate/Princess thing then, wont' they??)

They may not remember what they saw or what they did, but they'll grow up remembering the way they felt.

I would do what I do anytime I'm given unsolicited advice. Nod, smile, and then do what I want anyway
We just went with our 4 and 5 year old. I don't believe they will remember much of the trip, but I think the fun that they had when we went was worth it. I never travel anywhere based on what I'll remember years from now - I'll travel for the joy I get in that moment.
Have fun!

 

[pxidst119]

While I have great memories from all of my trips to Disney, my favorite ones are from when my kids were 2 and 3.5.

By now, our family knows we all LOVE Disney so they don't say it so much anymore. Some of them even ask when my next trip is just assuming that I have one in the works. However, I do have a trip/cruise coming up in May that I booked over a year ago that most people don't know about yet.

 

[Diegosmom]

I respond as 1 of the kids that there parents did wait till we were old enough to remember. In my parents defense we lived in Mass so going to disney was a big expense for a family of 5 (not sure mom ever considered driving...been there done that on 4 or 5 hour trips and not sure she wants us 3 in the back seat for 20 something hours lol). But we we finally got to go I was in 7th grade my sister was in 10th and my brother was a senior (I think 18, 16, and 13). My mom wanted to wait till I was old enough to remember (at 13) but I think she waited way to long. Now my brother (at 18) did have a good time but I only really remember him getting his picture taken with Minnie Mouse. Cause he was told old to act like a kid (or so he said) and even my sister and I were a bit too old. We still ran around like kids but it would have been better if we went younger. But I have no idea what our money situation was (never were rich, typical middle class) so maybe that is when the family could afford it.

I will also say that even though I was 13 I don't remember everything on the trip. And really only have a few memories but that was also before the digital camera so pretty certain I havent seen pics in a good 15 years so sure that mom couold remind me of stuff and I would remember.

So I say as soon aas the kids are old enough to not be too much work for mom and dad then go...to me I would never take a baby that needed diaper changes and bottles etc. To me that is too much work. But to you that might be fine. So whenever the parents feel they would have fun I say go ...can't wait to take DS (he will be 4 not month was hoping to go in Sept but it might have to wait till 2012 )

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

You're looking for the reason in the wrong place, which is why you can't find it.*This POV normally is not really about money, at least not so much as it is about the widely-held perception that adults do not LIKE to go to Disney World, and that they only go there to please their children.* Therefore, it follows that if the children are not old enough to "appreciate" it, there is no point in going. The simple answer is, "I'm not going for them, I'm going for me. I *like* Disney World, and watching them enjoy the moment is just a bonus."

I think you have a good point here. I also think it is a misconception that a WDW trip is extremely expensive (it can be, but we who know better know that it doesn't have to be) and therefore only take your kids once they can "remember" or "appreciate" it the most. I remember years ago, I had a co-worker who told me that he read an article that stated a family of *four* that goes to WDW spends $10,000 on average At that point in time we only had our two oldest children and didn't have plans to go then (didn't cross our minds at that point in time due to what we were going through with our oldest son), but I have never forgotten that conversation and the fact that so many people think you have to take out a second mortgage to be able to go to WDW . We have four children and it is not going to cost us half of that (even with the cost of airline tickets)! I know it is not the most inexpensive of vacations, but that doesn't mean that we should wait to go just because of that factor.

 

[saffron1000]

My son is 3 1/2 and LOVES Disney. We have been twice and are planning another trip in May. He pulls out his Disney maps all the time and reviews all the rides he will go on. Let me tell you when he hit 40 inches he was soooo excited because he is tall enough to ride Test track. So I do think they remember these trips. And we the parents have a great time too!!!!!!!

 

[lamb616]

I don't care if they forget about the entire trip a week after we get home -- *I'LL* remember it, and we'll have photos to boot.

True story - a few years ago I was talking with my father and sisters and I said how I'd never been to NY. My sister says "you went to NY with Dad". I was like "no, I did not". My father then confirms that I did indeed go to NYC with him for a weekend. I was about 15 years old at the time!. After thinking about it, I did *vaguely* recall being on the plane (my first flight) and going to the Empire State Bldg -- **VAGUELY**. I don't remember anything else, lol. So, you can wait 'til your kids are 15 but there's still no guarantee they'll remember any of it.

 

[dragonfly08]

DD #1 went for the first time at 17 months. When she looks at the pictures, she loves it and says that she remembers...whether that's true or not I don't know, but if *she* seems to think so, then IMO she got something out of the whole deal.

She went again at 5 and definitely remembers that trip. Her 4 year old little sister visited for the first time last August, and she, too, remembers it and talks about it all the time.

I don't see any reason not to take kids who are 2 and 4. They'll love it!