I want to be alone....No you can't hijack my trip

[karice2]

I managed to book a week in Disney, December 10-17. Really excited because it will be my first time to see the Christmas lights and do the MVMCP.

Some friends are going to come down on Monday December 13th. Well my mom found out that my friends will not be there for the whole trip and wants to come down for the first part of the trip.

I took Mom to Disney for her 60th Birthday in September and now she is all gung ho about the World. She wants to see it all and do it all every time I go.

Here is the dilemna. That was our first and last trip ever traveling together. I hated every minute of traveling with my mother. I love her dearly but I don't want to travel alone with her again.

She sings all the songs all the time. She has never met a stranger. She dances in random places. She sings all the songs all the times (I know I said it twice but how would you feel if a grown woman sees a character and starts singing a song related to them, Mary Poppins comes to mind). She won't go off and do something alone. The list could go on for a while but you get the point.

So all of those things combined makes a very unhappy trip for me. I like to do my own thing at my own time and follow the day as I see fit. I really like doing Disney Solo and want to enjoy my time before the friends come. She is already trying to make plans to come down with me. How do I let her down easy and tell her I want to do at least part of the trip alone?

I know I will have to come back with her again (hopefully with some other people as a buffer) but it is too soon to do it again.

Help me Fellow solo Disers, you're my only hope!

 

[Agri]

Just talk to her. Embellish a bit, but tell her the truth - you're stressed out and you really need a vacation on your own to regroup emotionally. Make sure she knows you love her and enjoy doing Disney with her - just that you need to make this trip alone. Tell her that your next trip will include her, too.

Honestly, enjoy the time you have with your mom. So what if she sings silly songs? She's having a good time. As everyone will always tell you, there will come a time when you'll miss all that silliness.

My mom was very clinging even before her surgery made it somewhat necessary. After my parents divorced, it got even worse. However, we had a few talks and worked out some boundaries - maybe you need to do this with your mom. We respect each other, we have fun together, but we're also mindful that we both need time to ourselves.

 

[nurse.darcy]

I don't know what type of relationship you have with your mom but if you REALLY need your alone time, just tell her. She might be hurt at first but she will understand. She is your mom after all. Tell her you want to do a trip with her again but not right now. You need this space so that other trips with her are special.

 

[karice2]

I am going to tell her today. I have a pretty decent relationship with her but I am of course old school Daddy's girl so we have a different relationship. He and I are more alike.

I have spent so much of my life trying not to disappoint her or my dad and my Disney trips were never an issue because she had never been before. I should be happy that I have introduced the World to a new lover but I was not expecting my trips to become automatic family vacations.

I am going in February for a quick trip maybe she will be ok with going then. She really wants to see the Holiday lights though.

 

[Simba's Mom]

I managed to book a week in Disney, December 10-17. Really excited because it will be my first time to see the Christmas lights and do the MVMCP.

Some friends are going to come down on Monday December 13th. Well my mom found out that my friends will not be there for the whole trip and wants to come down for the first part of the trip.

I took Mom to Disney for her 60th Birthday in September and now she is all gung ho about the World. She wants to see it all and do it all every time I go.

Here is the dilemna. That was our first and last trip ever traveling together. I hated every minute of traveling with my mother. I love her dearly but I don't want to travel alone with her again.

She sings all the songs all the time. She has never met a stranger. She dances in random places. She sings all the songs all the times (I know I said it twice but how would you feel if a grown woman sees a character and starts singing a song related to them, Mary Poppins comes to mind). She won't go off and do something alone. The list could go on for a while but you get the point.

So all of those things combined makes a very unhappy trip for me. I like to do my own thing at my own time and follow the day as I see fit. I really like doing Disney Solo and want to enjoy my time before the friends come. She is already trying to make plans to come down with me. How do I let her down easy and tell her I want to do at least part of the trip alone?

I know I will have to come back with her again (hopefully with some other people as a buffer) but it is too soon to do it again.

Help me Fellow solo Disers, you're my only hope!

Boy, are you sure you and I aren't secret sisters? Mom invited herself on one of my solo trips, she loved it, but never again for me! Now when she brings it up about tagging along again, I jokingly say "No, I've already earned my reward in Heaven," we both have a good laugh, but fortunately that's the end of it. Short of that, I might suggest you might have to keep plans for future solo trips a secret (and hope it stays a secret).

 

[merriwthr]

She sings all the songs all the time. She has never met a stranger. She dances in random places. She sings all the songs all the times (I know I said it twice but how would you feel if a grown woman sees a character and starts singing a song related to them, Mary Poppins comes to mind). She won't go off and do something alone. The list could go on for a while but you get the point.

Are you sure we're not related?? My mom does the same things... The worst part is... I find myself starting to do the SAME THINGS!!! Which makes my daughter nutso too!

I found out in August that I *have* to go to Disney at the end of November for a conference (so of course I booked a few extra days!!) and my mom promptly invited herself. At first I was annoyed -- but then I thought that even though my mom is young (69), life is short. So we compromised - she's coming down to join me for the first few days and then the rest of the week is mine. Perhaps your friends won't mind having her around - suggest she come down for two or three nights when your friends are there -- you'll have your buffer and your mother.. and you'll have your days to yourself.

Remember - life is short and there may come a time when you'll never have the opportunity to enjoy the company of your mother.

 

[acm563]

Bring your mother and she can hang out with me from the 11-15th... I would do anything to get my mother to come with me............ but I can understand you wanting some alone time. Explain it to her, that you are at a point you want to do Disney alone................

 

[karice2]

So happy I am not the only one who has the amazing singing mother. She really isn't that awful but I just like the freedom that I have when I can go solo especially when I will be entertaining friends later in the week.

I know I should be grateful that my mom is still with me but I am a little more reserved than she is and so it is especially vexing when she does some of the stuff that she does.