I understand not liking company but.....

[ilovesugar]

then don't invite people to your home for a weekend! My BIL and SIL invited the family to their home for the long weekend. Our family went as well as MIL and FIL. The other brother and his family could not make it.

All weekend long SIL was a basketcase and made everything miserable. She started out the weekend telling me how the other brother and his family had come to visit a few weeks earlier and she did not like how noisy their 5 and 8 year old kids were. SIL has a 2 year old son so should be used to noise, right? So I knew right then the weekend was not going to go well since we have a 6 year old and a 9 month old. My 6 year old can be a handful but if he has something to do, he can keep himself busy and out of trouble. That is where the problem came in. She did not want our 6 year old to play with any of the 2 year olds things. The only thing he was allowed to play with were 2 balls and they were only to be used outside. He tried to ride the hotwheel, and she did not want that. He tried to play with the dog, she did not like that. We had brought some Wii games for him to play knowing that they had a Wii and they just said it was boxed up and never unboxed it so that my kid could play it. The poor guy was going crazy!

She constandly was cleaning and fretting about something. She stood in the kitchen and proceeded to wipe up any drop of water that touched the floor. Cleaned up any toys that they let my 9 month old play with before she was even done playing....it was just miserable. I was a stressed out mess trying to keep both my kids quiet and in order so that she did not get upset about it.

We ended up only staying one night (a 3 hr drive both ways) because it was just to much. I just do not understand why she would ask people to stay at her house if clearly she did not like people in her home.

What makes me most afraid is that we are all (all 3 of our familes) are going to WDW together in December and I cannot imagine what she is going to be like then. We are staying in a 3 bedroom villa at AKV and she is just going to have to sit in her room and freak out because I am not going to keep my kids quiet at Disney. They are going to be allowed to get excited. I know that the other SIL feels the same way. Our kids get so excited when they are together and I am not about to hold them back because this SIL cannot manage her stress issues.

 

[mhsjax]

then don't invite people to your home for a weekend! My BIL and SIL invited the family to their home for the long weekend. Our family went as well as MIL and FIL. The other brother and his family could not make it.

All weekend long SIL was a basketcase and made everything miserable. She started out the weekend telling me how the other brother and his family had come to visit a few weeks earlier and she did not like how noisy their 5 and 8 year old kids were. SIL has a 2 year old son so should be used to noise, right? So I knew right then the weekend was not going to go well since we have a 6 year old and a 9 month old. My 6 year old can be a handful but if he has something to do, he can keep himself busy and out of trouble. That is where the problem came in. She did not want our 6 year old to play with any of the 2 year olds things. The only thing he was allowed to play with were 2 balls and they were only to be used outside. He tried to ride the hotwheel, and she did not want that. He tried to play with the dog, she did not like that. We had brought some Wii games for him to play knowing that they had a Wii and they just said it was boxed up and never unboxed it so that my kid could play it. The poor guy was going crazy!

She constandly was cleaning and fretting about something. She stood in the kitchen and proceeded to wipe up any drop of water that touched the floor. Cleaned up any toys that they let my 9 month old play with before she was even done playing....it was just miserable. I was a stressed out mess trying to keep both my kids quiet and in order so that she did not get upset about it.

We ended up only staying one night (a 3 hr drive both ways) because it was just to much. I just do not understand why she would ask people to stay at her house if clearly she did not like people in her home.

What makes me most afraid is that we are all (all 3 of our familes) are going to WDW together in December and I cannot imagine what she is going to be like then. We are staying in a 3 bedroom villa at AKV and she is just going to have to sit in her room and freak out because I am not going to keep my kids quiet at Disney. They are going to be allowed to get excited. I know that the other SIL feels the same way. Our kids get so excited when they are together and I am not about to hold them back because this SIL cannot manage her stress issues.

The only thing that I can say is that when you go to WDW at least you will be on neutral territory, she won't be able to dictate what goes on because it isn't her house. So have fun with it, ( I do have a mean bone in my body, in fact 2 or 3. lol)

Anyway, I know what you mean about your kid not being able to play with anything, I knew someone like that. Yet when they came to our house, all toys must be made available. At least they weren't family, so I could cut them off.

 

[minkydog]

OH,man, can I sympathize with you~ My SIL and her husband are the silliest ninnies you ever met. They have no children and nothing to do at their house. At this point my kids have outgrown the toys, but they like to hook up their laptops. Well, you would think they were subversives trying to hack into government files. My BIL has to watch them like a hawk "In case they do something." The worst part is with Christian. Christian is severely mentally handicapped. He wears Depends and he drools, but we keep him clean as we can. Christian is not destructive; he doesn't break things or touch items on tables or cabinets. He just walks around from room to room. BIL and SIL literally follow 2ft behind him brushing up the footprints off the carpet. I'm not talking about mud. They can't stand the carpet to have those impressions. If he touches a countertop they're over there furiously wiping. They don't want him to sit on anything or come anywhere near them. What they want, and expect, is that *I* will take him outside and walk him constantly so they don't have to see him. Last Thanksgiving I spent 5 HOURS walking this kid through the neighborhood. It's really bad.

THis weekend DH and DS23 were down there to celebrate MILs 90th birthday. DS wears 2 lip rings. THat bothered the heck out of them and they kept niggling at him. FInally SIL demanded that he take them out. DS told her to go sit on a tack, then retired to the bedroom and shut the door. DH got so stressed out he ended up in the ER. If it weren't the fact that MIL is very old and DH needs to spend time with her, none of us would ever darken their door again.


Best of luck going to WDW with them. You're a better person than I am. I would be a screaming wreck if I had to spend a week with my crazy inlaws.

 

[Imzadi]

I do not have children, so I am asking this question because I really do not know how this works. I know you said you brought Wii stuff. But, aren't you responsible to bring your own toys, and 6 yr old appropriate toys for your DS? Why is SIL responsible for having stuff to keep your DS entertained?

Again, I don't have kids, but I might feel uncomfortable too with having a 6 yr old playing with my 2 yr old's stuff.

For the other question you asked, about SIL inviting people when she really didn't want them, she sounds passive-aggressive. She invited you because she felt obligated. Holiday obligations & all that. But, then passive aggressively made it so hard for you to stay , that you DID leave, which is what she wanted all along. This way, she wouldn't have to feel guilty for not inviting all of you. Your leaving eas your decision.


I suggest before the WDW trip, that you warn her that your kids & other SIL kids are really excited about the trip. They will be noisy, and suggest that SIL bring ear plugs so she can have some peace & quiet.

 

[ilovesugar]

The only thing that I can say is that when you go to WDW at least you will be on neutral territory, she won't be able to dictate what goes on because it isn't her house. So have fun with it, ( I do have a mean bone in my body, in fact 2 or 3. lol)

Anyway, I know what you mean about your kid not being able to play with anything, I knew someone like that. Yet when they came to our house, all toys must be made available. At least they weren't family, so I could cut them off.

That is so true she will just have to deal with it if things are out of place and there is water on the floor. She can sit in the room and be a basket case, the rest of us will be out having a good time.

 

[ilovesugar]

OH,man, can I sympathize with you~ My SIL and her husband are the silliest ninnies you ever met. They have no children and nothing to do at their house. At this point my kids have outgrown the toys, but they like to hook up their laptops. Well, you would think they were subversives trying to hack into government files. My BIL has to watch them like a hawk "In case they do something." The worst part is with Christian. Christian is severely mentally handicapped. He wears Depends and he drools, but we keep him clean as we can. Christian is not destructive; he doesn't break things or touch items on tables or cabinets. He just walks around from room to room. BIL and SIL literally follow 2ft behind him brushing up the footprints off the carpet. I'm not talking about mud. They can't stand the carpet to have those impressions. If he touches a countertop they're over there furiously wiping. They don't want him to sit on anything or come anywhere near them. What they want, and expect, is that *I* will take him outside and walk him constantly so they don't have to see him. Last Thanksgiving I spent 5 HOURS walking this kid through the neighborhood. It's really bad.

THis weekend DH and DS23 were down there to celebrate MILs 90th birthday. DS wears 2 lip rings. THat bothered the heck out of them and they kept niggling at him. FInally SIL demanded that he take them out. DS told her to go sit on a tack, then retired to the bedroom and shut the door. DH got so stressed out he ended up in the ER. If it weren't the fact that MIL is very old and DH needs to spend time with her, none of us would ever darken their door again.


Best of luck going to WDW with them. You're a better person than I am. I would be a screaming wreck if I had to spend a week with my crazy inlaws.

That is horrible! They should be ashamed of the way they treat your family. There is neurotic, and then there is just plain rude. Your IL's sound like they are the 2nd option.

 

[ilovejack02]

I do not have children, so I am asking this question because I really do not know how this works. I know you said you brought Wii stuff. But, aren't you responsible to bring your own toys, and 6 yr old appropriate toys for your DS? Why is SIL responsible for having stuff to keep your DS entertained?

Again, I don't have kids, but I might feel uncomfortable too with having a 6 yr old playing with my 2 yr old's stuff.


I suggest before the WDW trip, that you warn her that your kids & other SIL kids are really excited about the trip. They will be noisy, and suggest that SIL bring ear plugs so she can have some peace & quiet.

Parent here so I can speak from experience

Unless a 6 year is extremely destructive there should be no issue with this. Two year old toys are very sturdy , so breaking shouldnt be a big deal . I can't see a 6 yr old wanting to play with a 2 yr old toys for an entire weekend, but kids like anything new and will happily play for hours .

My 7 year old will sit and play together with my 1 yr old nephew and his toys for a good hour at a time . Yes I do bring his own toys too, but we have to be very careful to keep it all away from the baby, which is also a pain lol.


Op I wouldn't stay at the house again and I would def rethink Disney with them . I would have to have separate rooms or I would snap after awhile .

 

[mhsjax]

I do not have children, so I am asking this question because I really do not know how this works. I know you said you brought Wii stuff. But, aren't you responsible to bring your own toys, and 6 yr old appropriate toys for your DS? Why is SIL responsible for having stuff to keep your DS entertained?

Again, I don't have kids, but I might feel uncomfortable too with having a 6 yr old playing with my 2 yr old's stuff.

For the other question you asked, about SIL inviting people when she really didn't want them, she sounds passive-aggressive. She invited you because she felt obligated. Holiday obligations & all that. But, then passive aggressively made it so hard for you to stay , that you DID leave, which is what she wanted all along. This way, she wouldn't have to feel guilty for not inviting all of you. Your leaving eas your decision.


I suggest before the WDW trip, that you warn her that your kids & other SIL kids are really excited about the trip. They will be noisy, and suggest that SIL bring ear plugs so she can have some peace & quiet.

NO she isn't responsible. Sure you can bring toys for your child to play with, but usually if you have a child, you share. What exactly are you teaching kids if you don't want any other children, especially family, playing with the toys in your house. A 2 year olds toys are way more unbreakable than a 6 year olds toys. there is no reason that her son couldn't have played with them,especially the hot wheel, the 2 year old probably isn't even old enough to ride that yet.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I just can't understand why you would think that it would be ok for the sil not to allow her son to play with the toys in their house, that is just strange to me, and I knew this way before I had kids. It seems just common courtesy that you share.

 

[ilovesugar]

I do not have children, so I am asking this question because I really do not know how this works. I know you said you brought Wii stuff. But, aren't you responsible to bring your own toys, and 6 yr old appropriate toys for your DS? Why is SIL responsible for having stuff to keep your DS entertained?

Again, I don't have kids, but I might feel uncomfortable too with having a 6 yr old playing with my 2 yr old's stuff.

For the other question you asked, about SIL inviting people when she really didn't want them, she sounds passive-aggressive. She invited you because she felt obligated. Holiday obligations & all that. But, then passive aggressively made it so hard for you to stay , that you DID leave, which is what she wanted all along. This way, she wouldn't have to feel guilty for not inviting all of you. Your leaving eas your decision.


I suggest before the WDW trip, that you warn her that your kids & other SIL kids are really excited about the trip. They will be noisy, and suggest that SIL bring ear plugs so she can have some peace & quiet.

I understand that you don't have kids so are unfamiliar with how it works. Because this was a road trip that took 3 hours there and 3 hours back and was supposed to be for 3 days, we were limited in what would fit in the trunk. Especially when we have a 9 month old who requires lots of items for just everyday things. 6 year old boys mainly play ball and bike and scooter. We could not fit a bike and scooter in the trunk. So we brought things for my son like Wii games that would have kept his attention most of the weekend. Knowing they had a Wii system, there was no reason for us to try and stuff that in the trunk as well. It would not have killed them to pull their Wii out of the box it was in and set it up for my son to play with. We even brought our controllers so they would not have had to worry about my son touching their controllers if they were worried about that.

As for you not thinking that you would want a 6 year old playing with your 2 year olds toys, may I ask why? When they come to our home their child is allowed to play with our toys, so is there a difference? It is not as if my 6 year old was thowing the toys against the wall, he was just trying to play with something so that he was not bored. Can you imagine going somewhere that you were not allowed to touch anything and be expected to just sit and be quiet? Kids are human too and I don't know any adult that could live a weekend like that, so why should someone be expected to just because they are 6?

I kind of had to chuckle about your thoughts about warning her that the kids will be excited and loud. We are going to DISNEY, what does she think is going to happen? And furthermore, I don't owe her that in the least. We are paying for the 3 bedroom grand villa for everyone so if they don't like it, they are more than welcome to pay for their own lodging. I am not going to make everyone else adjust their vacation to her expectations because she cannot handle excited kids.

 

[ilovesugar]

NO she isn't responsible. Sure you can bring toys for your child to play with, but usually if you have a child, you share. What exactly are you teaching kids if you don't want any other children, especially family, playing with the toys in your house. A 2 year olds toys are way more unbreakable than a 6 year olds toys. there is no reason that her son couldn't have played with them,especially the hot wheel, the 2 year old probably isn't even old enough to ride that yet.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I just can't understand why you would think that it would be ok for the sil not to allow her son to play with the toys in their house, that is just strange to me, and I knew this way before I had kids. It seems just common courtesy that you share.

The first part of this cracked me up because their 2 year old kept running up to our 9 month old and taking away any toy that she had in her hands and saying "mine". My SIL kept saying that he really has a had time sharing....hmmm I wonder why!

 

[Imzadi]

A 2 year olds toys are way more unbreakable than a 6 year olds toys. there is no reason that her son couldn't have played with them,especially the hot wheel, the 2 year old probably isn't even old enough to ride that yet.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I just can't understand why you would think that it would be ok for the sil not to allow her son to play with the toys in their house, that is just strange to me, and I knew this way before I had kids. It seems just common courtesy that you share.

6 year old boys mainly play ball and bike and scooter.

It would not have killed them to pull their Wii out of the box it was in and set it up for my son to play with. We even brought our controllers so they would not have had to worry about my son touching their controllers if they were worried about that.

As for you not thinking that you would want a 6 year old playing with your 2 year olds toys, may I ask why?

It wasn't about not sharing. I think I was worried about any breakable parts that the 2 yr old might accidentally put in their mouth later and choke on. But as you both have clarified there probably wouldn't be any that a 6 yr old would break off.

And I don't know what kind of toys a 6 yr old would be interested in that a 2 yr old has. To me, (who doesn't know ,) that is such an age difference. I guess I was thinking a 2 yr old would have those shape sorter toys, and that would get boring quickly to a 6 yr old after a couple times. But, balls & bikes, yes SIL should have been shared.

And yes, they should have set up the Wii for you, or let you do it, if the problem was they didn't know how.

As for warning her, I just meant, so she can't later try to blame you & other SIL for noise. You could just say, "You did bring the ear plugs I told you to get?"

 

[HelenePA]

It wasn't about not sharing. I think I was worried about any breakable parts that the 2 yr old might accidentally put in their mouth later and choke on. But as you both have clarified there probably wouldn't be any that a 6 yr old would break off.

And I don't know what kind of toys a 6 yr old would be interested in that a 2 yr old has. To me, (who doesn't know ,) that is such an age difference. I guess I was thinking a 2 yr old would have those shape sorter toys, and that would get boring quickly to a 6 yr old after a couple times. But, balls & bikes, yes SIL should have been shared.

And yes, they should have set up the Wii for you, or let you do it, if the problem was they didn't know how.

As for warning her, I just meant, so she can't later try to blame you & other SIL for noise. You could just say, "You did bring the ear plugs I told you to get?"

Blocks, Cars, Trains, books, little animals, little people sets are something kids of all ages play with At 2 they aren't "babies" anymore. I tried my hardest to keep baby/kid toys separate this time around... it didn't work. Baby has been playing with what ever he finds. As well as them playing with his stuff... I would have left after a few hours there.. we wouldnt have made it an night

 

[nmmom95]

I would probably feed the kids lots of sugar at WDW and let her enjoy the show!

 

[Ceila]

I would probably feed the kids lots of sugar at WDW and let her enjoy the show!

Lol, and make sure you buy every noise-making souvenir that you can find (on your first day)

 

[antsss]

IMHO the only time kids shouldn't share toys is when a baby or toddler is around older kids toys that are unsafe for them. My kids (DS10, DS8 & DD6) love to play along with younger kids and their toys.

The rule when guests come to our house is that any toys that are dangerous (for a little one) or "special" (a Lego model that took 3 days to complete) need to be put away. Anything else is fair game. Guests are given first crack at toys because we are the hosts and they are our guests. We try our best to share successfully.

My feeling is if there is a toy you don't want my child to play with then please put it away. It's very hard for a young child to understand otherwise. I'm all for setting limits and by no means do I let my kids have the run of my house. But for goodness sakes we're talking about toys!

As far as noise goes, I have a SIL who has always had a low tolerance for the loud noise children are likely to make. SIL and DH are from a family of 7 kids so you think she'd be used to noise. She only has 1 DS and I have 3 kids who can be rather loud, but my kids take after me and DH who have also been known to be loud!

When you're in Disney, try to keep your kids quiet in the evening when it's bedtime, or early in the morning when people are still sleeping, and maybe during baby's nap time. Keep them quiet in the hallways. Otherwise you should all joyfully, enthusiastically and, yes, LOUDLY enjoy Disney and all it has to offer!

 

[kirstenb1]

SIL sounds like she'd be better off not having kids visit her home!! Despite the age gap, 6 yr olds will play with little cousins and their toys. With kids, it's just exciting to see new toys, that you don't already own.

One of my SIL's is very neurotic and hovering. Her oldest, who is 3 and an awesome kid, isn't allowed any dessert at my mom's house. She ripped a cupcake out of his hands. He is the nicest, most mellow child. I wish she'd lighten up. He doesn't have food allergies, but she does travel with a gallon ziploc of OTC meds, "just in case".

 

[ilovesugar]

I would probably feed the kids lots of sugar at WDW and let her enjoy the show!

Lol, and make sure you buy every noise-making souvenir that you can find (on your first day)

When you're in Disney, try to keep your kids quiet in the evening when it's bedtime, or early in the morning when people are still sleeping, and maybe during baby's nap time. Keep them quiet in the hallways. Otherwise you should all joyfully, enthusiastically and, yes, LOUDLY enjoy Disney and all it has to offer!

I agree with you 100% and those are the rules everyday in our home. If DS (6) wakes before anyone, he goes into his playroom and plays quietly until we wake. He has to be quiet during our DD's naps and goes to bed earlier than she does at the moment so nights are a non-issue.
Those rules will be in play at WDW as well, it is respectful and that is what we try to teach him. He is never allowed to run or be loud in any hall of any hotel we ever stay at.

But during the day when we are all up and happy, the kids will be playing and having a great time doing so.

SIL sounds like she'd be better off not having kids visit her home!! Despite the age gap, 6 yr olds will play with little cousins and their toys. With kids, it's just exciting to see new toys, that you don't already own.

One of my SIL's is very neurotic and hovering. Her oldest, who is 3 and an awesome kid, isn't allowed any dessert at my mom's house. She ripped a cupcake out of his hands. He is the nicest, most mellow child. I wish she'd lighten up. He doesn't have food allergies, but she does travel with a gallon ziploc of OTC meds, "just in case".

LOL sounds like my SIL. She is very cautious about what her 2 year old eats (very few sweets) and you should have seen the look on her face when I was sharing my pudding pop with my 9 month old. It made me let her have more just because I knew it was killing her that I was allowing it.

 

[portocall]

Ugh, you were much sweeter than me OP. I would have been keeping SIL busy by making lots of spots of water to wipe. When she demanded to know why, I would have just said that she looked like she was enjoying wiping them up so much and I wanted to make sure she was having as much fun as I was. (and yes, it worked for me in a very similar situation)

I have three children. I do have a few "off limits" toys (taken ahead of time and never seen by the other kids, namely personal gaming systems and anything that is deemed the end of the world as we know if it breaks) but those aside, everything else is fair game. Shooo I usually go out of my way to make sure everyone has something age appropriate to play with. My family all lives too far to turn around, but there are definately some that will require hotel rooms when we visit.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I would definitely re-think sharing the 3 bedroom villa. It seems as it would be better if you guys were in your own rooms, studios or 1 bedrooms.

 

[HelenePA]

I would definitely re-think sharing the 3 bedroom villa. It seems as it would be better if you guys were in your own rooms, studios or 1 bedrooms.

nahhhh let them move.. put her up in a cheap place offsite