I took my son to university yesterday ...

[Dimplenose]

... and I'm still tearful today.

I really miss having him around the place. Do other mums of students feel like this and if so when will I get used to it?

 

[Bolanette87]

I work on a university switchboard and judging from some of the calls I've had today, you're definately not alone... I can't offer much advice, but I can offer a

Bob xoxox

 

[BRobson]

I have had my supervisor in tears today because her daughter went yesterday and my BF is taking her son today and she has been all over the place - so you are not alone !!!!!

Big for you

 

[mandymouse]

Big hugs Libby

 

[hildasmuriel]

No you won't EVER get over it. I'm still upset and it's been 2 whole days for me.
How was your son when you left? Mine couldn't wait for us to go and TBH I couldn't blame him. There were 1,600 people of a similar age to him all moving in at the same time, all buzzing with excitement and they could hardly wait for us olds to leave and let them get on with it.

My baby doesn't even need me any more.

 

[saratogagirl]

my friend at work dropped her only daughter off yesterday Libby, and she has cried on and off all day today, it must be an awful time for you x

 

[Dimplenose]

No you won't EVER get over it. I'm still upset and it's been 2 whole days for me.
How was your son when you left? Mine couldn't wait for us to go and TBH I couldn't blame him. There were 1,600 people of a similar age to him all moving in at the same time, all buzzing with excitement and they could hardly wait for us olds to leave and let them get on with it.

My baby doesn't even need me any more.

Yes, he really was itching to get away from us.

my friend at work dropped her only daughter off yesterday Libby, and she has cried on and off all day today, it must be an awful time for you x

It is awful in one way, but it's what he should be doing. I noticed this year at WDW a number of seriously ill or disabled children that were being taken there by their parents and seeing them really made me count my blessings that my children are going to have choices and opportunities that a lot of kids won't have.

But I would like to see him after his first day at uni and find out how he got on.

 

[wideeyes]

My parents went down to visit my sister and she was happy for them to come as they brought things down she needed like clean bedding, towels, jars of coffee etc so give him a couple of weeks to settle and then go visit him, (if he is a typical teen he would of forgot something that he needs bringing to him)

 

[irongirlof12]

awww, bless you he will be having the time of his life

 

[Lizzybear]

My sister has been in Bristol a week now and my dad is still very worried (as I knew he would be) but mum doesn't seem as bad. Heather has had various 'issues' over the year and pretty much missed out on 2+ years of school so moving away is a huge deal for her and she's so excited. So far she's really enjoying it and likes her flatmates so that's great... I absolutely hated my own uni experience and wish I could have done it differently so I hope hers is much better

 

[Clare D]

I work at a Univeristy and on Saturday was at work on the Welcome Weekend. The majority of students I spoke to were so worried but a few were quite excited. One student told me (in a jokey way) that he had been planning this day since he was 14 and could I tell his family to go now? His family were lovely.
Hope he has a great time

 

[joolz1910]

I couldn't cope when my children started Primary school... gawd knows how I'll cope when they go to University.

My mum cried on the journey home after she dropped me off at my uni digs (confessed to me many years later) yet I was fine and survived pretty much unscathed.

to all the mums.

 

[Tammy Stringer]

We take our DD on Saturday and I must admit I am dreading that final goodbye on Sunday morning. I know I will be a total mess on the 3+ journey home - however I hope that by talking loads on the phone and going on webcam that I will feel better about it before too long.

It will just seem so weird with one less in the house, but I am hopeful that she has a brilliant time and loads of fun

Tammy

 

[wicket2005]

I have gone through this.

The first time is the worst, as you are worried about all sorts of things that could happen or not happen and it is perfectly normal to feel this way. It is a big change from both the parents and the young adult's point of views. I was an absolute wreck. I am fortunate to be able to talk to my sons like friends so when the eldest went I felt like I had lost a friend to talk to as well. What took me by surprise was the lack of contact by phone, I had expected him to ring and tell us all about it so it felt like suddenly you were cut off from his life. He was texting and talking on MSN with me though and they are very busy during those first weeks. I also felt like he didn't need or want me in his life which was really a silly thing to feel but when you are emotional things get out of proportion. Later on I found that the lack of phone contact was because he was advised not to speak to family as it could make homesickness worse and he had missed us. It was very much a rollercoaster of a ride, however, it is a step we all have to go through as either kids leave for uni or move out and it is just another part of bringing them up.

You have a new role now as he seeks his way but never forget you are his Mum and he will always need you and want you in his life. This is a time for you too to make changes to your life and adapt to having a son away from home.

My eldest has just started a new uni course down in the Uni of Nottingham and we dropped him down on Saturday, I felt a little bit sad but no way as bad as the first time. I miss him but communications are good, he understands more of how everybody felt and is older. It is such a big jump for an 18 year old, suddenly being able to do what they want when they want.

My youngest is just at the local uni but has an uni flat as we wanted him to have the same experience as the eldest with being with other students and away from home. I miss him too but, fortunately, he pops back a lot. I was sad when I left him down at uni last year but again with going through it once I knew what to expect and it was fine plus youngest saw how we felt with the eldest so took it on himself to ensure we didn't feel the same about him being away.

I think I felt it even harder because I have always stayed at home and looked after the lads so they have been my total focus. When the eldest went it was hard but it does get so much easier and you enjoy watching them develop into confident adults and being able to do so much more. The lads are advising me on stuff now and looking after me.

 

[TotallyAngelic]

My DD went on Sunday and basically I was a wreck most of the day - we took her there and her room was small and pokey and her flat mates all older than her, and I just felt awful leaving her there. When we got back one of her friends rang her and then rang me back to tell me she was fine and heading out to a party at the students union. I had imagined her sitting all alone in her pokey room so it was a huge relief. After 3 days she is settling ok and getting to know people though she says it all feels a bit strange.
We are popping there tonight to take her laptop - as her charger broke and we had to send for a new one - so we will se how she is. It's not so bad as she is coming home at weekends for the time being as she has dance commitments. (Uni only 45 mins away). I can certainly relate to any parents feeling bereft at their kids going to Uni - it was one of the most emotional and anxiety inducing days of my life.

 

[Ware Bears]

for you all ~ I've got this to come next year.

 

[maggs]

No, in all honesty I have never felt like this. I have always been totally excited on the day they have gone off to university. I see it as another big step in their journey towards adulthood and being independent. I have never shed a tear and have loved waving to them as they have disappeared back into their halls of residence. I have done this three times now and my last child is due to go off next year. Maybe Im just not an emotional person, so I apologise to you all. Im sorry it is such a difficult time for so many, so to those who are missing their children.

Maggs

 

[Dimplenose]

It's been nearly a week now - and I'm not feeling any better. I've had a couple of e-mails from him but I daren't phone as I don't want him to know what a wuss I am.

 

[Danauk]

Huggs to all of you. My assistant at works youngest son (who I taught when he was 8 years old in year 4!!) went to Uni last weekend. She wanted to take him on the Saturday to settle in. He decided he wanted to travel down alone by train on Friday with an over night bag and his parents to drop his other things off on Saturday. He said that he was 20 years old and could manage by himself. My poor friend was a mess! But she knows he is a good lad, Doesn't drink, has a strong work ethic and will do really well.

 

[diswix]

I know exactly how you feel. It will get easier. Our twin boys went off to University last year, both in different directions ( Cardiff and Loughborough).Each week did get easier, I tried to keep my distance and let them have their independence. I threw myself into work and studying for a degree. This did help distract me, also the dog got walked more and I started running and gym classes.
When they did return for holidays ( christmas and Easter) I had not prepared myself for the same feelings coming back when they returned to campus.But these did recover a little quicker each time.
My husband and I even went to Florida on our own without the kids last year.I was so afraid it would be awful without the the boys. Although we did miss them and reminisssed a great deal, we actually were very liberated and were more like kids than ever at Disney. We were even family of the day at EPCOT on our first day ( we took this as a sign that it was right for us to go alone).
Someone said to me last year, to Just think what a wonderful gift it is to let our children go and how lucky they are. Its very true.
Also our young people are full of surprises. My one son who could not wait to leave home, visited us nearly every weekend towards the end of the first year.It was us who kept saying 'stay at Uni and be with your mates'.
This Sunday was a bad day for me. We have just been lucky enough to spend three weeks in Florida with the boys. When we returned from Gatwick last Thursday morning our DS drove straight to Cardiff. Then on Sunday our second DS returned to Uni, I was beside myself at the time. However, each day is better. My husband and I have spent some quality time and ticking along ok today.
We even picked up some holiday brochures.
All I can say is it will ease. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but I do think to myself that we have done a good job up to now and have enabled the boys to be lucky enough to go to university and have the opportunities that we never had.Be so very proud.