"I pay your salary!"

[sunnyday123]

I don't think this phrase should be said to anyone who holds the proverbial reins; teacher/professor, police officer, food server. I can't imagine anyone using it and thinking something favorable will happen.

 

[dogluva]

How do you suspend a student for telling a lunch lady "I pay your salary?" I'm sorry but that is ridiculous.

It is extremely disrespectful! I don't know if it calls for a suspension but at least some sort of a punishment.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Respect is earned, not given.

As bicker and many people have said, respect has to be the default or starting place. If not, one starts out without showing any respect and then when one realizes the person deserves it, it is too late. I've always hated that quote, or at least I've always felt it wasn't well thought out. It seems that is people followed that, they would end up not respecting many people. Furthermore, unless they learned to "fake respect," they would end up with many societal problems. Does it make sense to withhold respectful behavior until you think someone has "earned" your respect?

Also, for me, those who are soldiers, firefighters, police officers, nurses, teachers, etc. have already earned respect from me for earning a degree, passing difficult tests, choosing a career where hard work and helping others is placed over making easy money and by providing services from which I benefit.

If someone is not doing something well, there are ways of handling it without sounding arrogant, entitled, short-sighted and ignorant like saying "I pay your salary".

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

It is extremely disrespectful! I don't know if it calls for a suspension but at least some sort of a punishment.

I'm okay with a detention just because I don't particularly think students should mouth off to adults. That being said, I still feel a suspension is absolutely ridiculous. That smells of an adult going off on a power trip.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

No, respect should be an automatic-especially if you don't know someone-respect can be LOST though. Part of the problem today is too many people think like you and then we have a society of people running around not caring how they treat people.

There are a boatload of people who I don't have an ounce of respect for, but I still treat exceptionally well anyway.

I would never use the "I pay your salary" line. However, comparing a teacher/professor/law enforcer/public servant to the person who works at Wal-Mart is just slightly skewed. The person working at Wal-Mart is expected (and required) to treat their customers with respect. Does it always happen? No, but that doesn't mean they aren't expected to. And the WM employee can lose his job for being disrespectful.

People in those other positions automatically (by virtue of their position/job title) have a fair amount of power, but aren't always expected to treat their "customers" with the same respect that they seem to demand from those "customers". In the business world, you usually have external customers and internal customers. In an education setting, those students are your customers and should be treated the way you expect them to treat you.

The difference is, the WM employee doesn't have the luxury of expecting (or demanding) ANYTHING from his customers.

This respect thing is a two-way street. And simply being a police officer doesn't make you any more important that the guy selling you a can of paint at WM. It's not your job title that makes you a better person. It's who you are AS a person.

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

As bicker and many people have said, respect has to be the default or starting place. If not, one starts out without showing any respect and then when one realizes the person deserves it, it is too late. I've always hated that quote, or at least I've always felt it wasn't well thought out. It seems that is people followed that, they would end up not respecting many people. Furthermore, unless they learned to "fake respect," they would end up with many societal problems. Does it make sense to withhold respectful behavior until you think someone has "earned" your respect?

Also, for me, those who are soldiers, firefighters, police officers, nurses, teachers, etc. have already earned respect from me for earning a degree, passing difficult tests, choosing a career where hard work and helping others is placed over making easy money and by providing services from which I benefit.

If someone is not doing something well, there are ways of handling it without sounding arrogant, entitled, short-sighted and ignorant like saying "I pay your salary".

I said respect is earned, not given. That doesn't mean you still can treat people kindly and be friendly/sociable. It just means that I'm not going to bow down because you have a title or a degree.

 

[Uuaww]

In one of my college classes a student said this rudely to a teacher... He reached in his pocket, took out a coin, flipped it to the girl and said "this is your contribution to my salary, now get out and don't return."

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

This respect thing is a two-way street.

Bingo

 

[christineann]

I have trouble believing that. Students vare rarely support anything teachers do until they reach high school.

My daughter was in the lunch line when this happened, and yes, it WAS supported by the other students, whether you choose to believe it or not. Both of my kids were students there at the time, and they said the students thought it was inexcusable. The staff at the school, from the headmasters to the custodians, are well liked, and all are respected by the students. It's a relatively small school with high expectations of the students.......and it works.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I said respect is earned, not given. That doesn't mean you still can treat people kindly and be friendly/sociable. It just means that I'm not going to bow down because you have a title or a degree.

However, before you said that you quoted me, where I said that it was disrespectful, implying a link between the two. Are you disagreeing that it was disrespectful or saying that the disrespect was okay because respect wasn't earned?

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

My daughter was in the lunch line when this happened, and yes, it WAS supported by the other students, whether you choose to believe it or not. Both of my kids were students there at the time, and they said the students thought it was inexcusable. The staff at the school, from the headmasters to the custodians, are well liked, and all are respected by the students. It's a relatively small school with high expectations of the students.......and it works.

Well if you say that's the case then I believe you. But when I was in school, students would laughed hysterically at that and probably would all anointed the student a hero.

 

[bicker]

There are a boatload of people who I don't have an ounce of respect for, but I still treat exceptionally well anyway.

I think that's splitting hairs, though, at least to some extent. I think we could say that you do have respect for them, though you perhaps don't venerate them. Respect starts at so much simpler of a level than I think many people make it out to be. Surely, there are many levels of respect above the most basic level that everyone deserves innately.

The critical aspect, though, is that the default condition is (or at least should be) respect, rather than disrespect.

People in those other positions automatically (by virtue of their position/job title) have a fair amount of power, but aren't always expected to treat their "customers" with the same respect that they seem to demand from those "customers".

I think your analogy to Wal-Mart, though, is way off-target. At Wal-Mart, each and every person walking in the door is (potentially, at least) a customer. With schools, police, sanitation, etc., the "customer" is the municipality as-a-whole -- (explicitly) not each and every person receiving service. Those folks are beneficiaries, not customers.

This respect thing is a two-way street.

I agree. The quickest way of "earning disrespect" is showing disrespect. That's why it is so important that the default situation is to respect others. Otherwise, you're starting from a point where the only rational direction is down into an abyss of deeper and deeper disrespect.

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

However, before you said that you quoted me, where I said that it was disrespectful, implying a link between the two. Are you disagreeing that it was disrespectful or saying that the disrespect was okay because respect wasn't earned?

I'm saying that if a person of authority goes off on a power trip or acts rudely/arrogant/cocky towards another individual, I have no issue with that individual telling the rude person "I pay your salary."

 

[bicker]

I think the earlier point made was, "To what end?" What constructive purpose does that serve? It is a pretty weak assertion to start with (for the reasons mentioned earlier) but putting that aside, it generally doesn't actually make the situation any better.

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

I think the earlier point made was, "To what end?" What constructive purpose does that serve?

It doesn't have to serve any purpose other than to make the person feel better for having to deal with an arrogant and condescending personality.

 

[bicker]

It doesn't have to serve any purpose other than to make the person feel better for having to deal with an arrogant and condescending personality.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree about that. If the only advantage to doing something is that it provides a short-term visceral thrill, that cannot trump the negative ramifications of doing that thing, i.e., escalating and justifying disrespect in return, and practically ensuring the lack of satisfaction of the original need.

 

[christineann]

Like I said, the school has high expectations of the students, and it works. They don't tolerate students being disrespectful to the teachers and staff, and they don't tolerate the teachers and staff being disrespectful to the students.
I worked at the school for several years before this incident, and I can confirm that.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I think that's splitting hairs, though, at least to some extent. I think we could say that you do have respect for them, though you perhaps don't venerate them. Respect starts at so much simpler of a level than I think many people make it out to be. Surely, there are many levels of respect above the most basic level that everyone deserves innately.

The critical aspect, though, is that the default condition is (or at least should be) respect, rather than disrespect.

True. I guess it depends on what you're trying to convey when you say "respect".

I think your analogy to Wal-Mart, though, is way off-target. At Wal-Mart, each and every person walking in the door is (potentially, at least) a customer. With schools, police, sanitation, etc., the "customer" is the municipality as-a-whole -- (explicitly) not each and every person receiving service. Those folks are beneficiaries, not customers.

I mentioned the analogy because way back on the first or second page someone mentioned people working at WM. Regardless though, I still think the people in those types of positions should be treating others with the same amount of respect they're demanding. I don't mean to single out a specific group, but look at the DMV (or what you normally think of when you hear "DMV".) Those workers are, generally (and possibly stereotypically) thought of as being cranky at best. They're providing a service to people.. would it hurt to smile?

That's kind of getting off-track, but it's the general point I was trying to make.

I agree. The quickest way of "earning disrespect" is showing disrespect. That's why it is so important that the default situation is to respect others. Otherwise, you're starting from a point where the only rational direction is down into an abyss of deeper and deeper disrespect.

And this is the crux of my point. Just be respectful regardless of who you are and who you are dealing with

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

I think we'll have to agree to disagree about that. If the only advantage to doing something is that it provides a short-term visceral thrill, that cannot trump the negative ramifications of doing that thing, i.e., escalating and justifying disrespect in return, and practically ensuring the lack of satisfaction of the original need.

I can tell you that in today's educational system, word spreads like wildfire about professors. And if it gets out that the professor goes on power trips, is disrespectful to students, etc., that professor stands a lot more to lose than the student who says "I pay your salary." And frankly any professor who feels their honor is hurt by that and feels the need to retaliate has some big time issues.

 

[bicker]

I don't mean to single out a specific group, but look at the DMV (or what you normally think of when you hear "DMV".) Those workers are, generally (and possibly stereotypically) thought of as being cranky at best. They're providing a service to people.. would it hurt to smile?

I think the problem, though, is when did you start looking at them? If the world started on that day, then fine, but the reality is that the day you started looking at them was not their first day in operation. Who took the first shot doesn't really matter, because that first shot, no matter who made it, would (in the context of what you're saying) seem pretty trivial. The point is that we've moved together (DMV workers and folks going to the DMV for service) down this path. The lack-of-smile you're referring to is almost surely a reflection of how the last ten people treated that DMV worker.

And that's almost surely a reflection of how nasty people generally are to service workers who refuse to give them what they want, regardless of whether the policies and procedures and laws governing the provision of that service are actually "at fault" with regard to the denial. People generally want what they want and many have little or no capacity to gracefully accept that the person providing them service is just doing their job well.

Expecting that a human being would not show the scars from the disrespect bestowed on them from the last ten people that they served is unreasonable. Sure, a few remarkable people have the ability to slough off such abuse, and treat every person asking for service individually. However, such gems are highly desired by premium-grade service providers in the private sector: Taxpayers are, generally, cheap, and won't brook with government paying premium salaries for premium quality service workers. Similarly, you're not going to find mainstream service providers paying top-dollar for superior service workers, because mainstream customers aren't going to brook with paying a premium for such service. Mainstream customers are much more focused on getting the lowest price.