I need your stories

[Serena]

Stories about living through a break up, and stories about a second chance at love.

Right now I'm not doing so good. Surviving the first and ever finding the second seems pretty remote, okay, impossible.

I miss him. Not the jerk that dumped me, but the husband I remember.

 

[browneyes]

I don't have any stories for you, Laurie. But I have lots of {{hugs}} for you. Don't be in a hurry to find love. Love will find YOU when you least expect it. {{hugs}}

 

[Teejay32]

well yours is recent, it's like a fresh wound still. I don't think you have to worry about doing well every day, just...more often. And then more often than not. And then most of the time. It's a gradual thing.

I have no stories, just wanted to say hi.

 

[Serena]

Believe me, I'm not looking. I took my vows seriously and frankly the thought of someone else right now is just to hard to imagine.

I was just trying to find some hope for the future.

 

[EROS]

Serena,Serena, Serena, you poster of sexy men you, I've hurt while reading your painful posts but feel that you're on the RIGHT path.

Let me say that after breaking up with my FIRST love, I doubted that I EVER would experience the same breadth and exhilaration with another woman.

WRONG!!!!!!!!

I KNOW that we ALL are capable of finding love with more than ONE mate. Trust me............it HAPPENS. Each love indeed has its own characteristics but can be as VITAL as any feeling which you've felt for your DH.

Good Luck...............

KISSES

 

[Deb in IA]

Awwww, what a sweet note, EROS . . .


Laurie, I know this has been very difficult for you. Have you considered DIVORCE (not marriage) counseling? I know of some people who have gone through this and found it very helpful. . .

 

[Deb in IA]

Awwww, what a sweet note, EROS . . .


Laurie, I know this has been very difficult for you. Have you considered DIVORCE (not marriage) counseling? I know of some people who have gone through this and found it very helpful. . .

 

[JohnTBap]

Serena,

My dad ran off on my mom - much like your situation. He left her with two kids and a dog. He paid the minimal support as required by law, and probably only because the Army withheld it from his check. He totally sucked. He never acknowledged our birthdays or holidays - my mom would send us stuff from him and sign his name. She's a saint. Through all of his mess, she never said an unkind word about him.

My mom busted her butt to support us, working full time and earning a graduate degree. Lo and behold a Captain was transferred from Hawaii to run Drug and Alchohol where she worked at Ft Hood. He turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to ALL of us. My step-dad raised my brother and me as his own, never making a distinction between us and his own four daughters. They just celebrated 23 years of marriage and he treats her like a queen.

My dad died almost eleven years ago - sad and alone. My step-dad agreed to pay to bury him. He, too, is a saint.

There IS hope, Serena - HOLD ON AND DON'T LET GO!!!!!

 

[Serena]

I do pretty well during the day. But when evening gets here I start feeling sorry for myself and it gets rough.

Thanks for your help and thank you Eros.

Keep'm coming.

I do need to find me a counselor, I've just been too chicken to pick out a name and call.

 

[TinkerPixie]

Serena, I have been exactly where you are. I never thought I would make it through the breakup, and divorce. I was so hurt, so confused, ...... I spent most of my nights crying... there was an actual physical ache in my chest. My heart was truly breaking. I was just going thru the motions every day, I always felt like I was falling, I literally had a hard time, catching my breath at times. Then one day My mother saw an ad in our paper for a divorce support group. She had to force me to go, I was sure no one else could be hurting like I was, how could anyone understand. The group meetings were a big help, it was a distraction, and a relief to talk about what had happened. Just getting out of my head seemed to make the burden lighter.

The miracle of this story is that about two months after I started attending the meetings, I met an old schoolmate, he was recovering from a divorce himself and decided to attend the meetings, well, he recognized me, and asked me to go out for dinner, that moment change my life! Charlie and I were married two months later, and we will celebrate our eighth anniversary this November at Disney.

Never give up, there will be a wonderful future in store for you, right now you are just waiting for the door to open, when it does, walk boldly into the light! {{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[jx3smom]

My first DS was a liar and a cheater. Sound familiar? We split when I was 6.5 mos pregnant with DS#2. The baby was 9 weeks premature and my ex's girlfriend moved into the house while I was in the hospital. I moved in with my parents, then found a place to live. I worked midnights so my mom could watch the boys cause she worked days. We were doing ok. Each day was hard but got a little easier. Then when I really had no interest in dating I met this great guy. We have been married 12 years and been together almost 18 years. He has been a great dad and we have a DS. He considers all the boys his. My boys have very little contact with their dad. The only things that I got in my divorce settlement were child support and their full college education paid for (under grad school for 5 years). We never really got the right amount of child support but I am so glad my boys are getting their education. Thank Goodness for the 5 year stipulation, neither will graduate in 4 years.

You will be on an emotional roller coaster. Do not think that if you make things easier he may change his mind. Believe me, it just does not happen. Some days will be good. Some not. You will go through stages. You will be hurt, angry and then relieved.

Feel free to email or pm me if you ever want to talk. I'll listen and not offer unsolicited advice. That drove me crazy!

 

[Goofball]

No advice - just wanted to offer a {{{{{HUG}}}}}

 

[Tuffcookie]

Serena, There are so many of us that were in the same boat you find yourself now. You are so used to being with someone you just feel so empty alone. Work at taking care of yourself and becoming the most attractive, interesting person you can be. There is no one holding you down now! The stronger and more assured of yourself you become, you will realize you don't need another person to make you feel whole!!! Hugs to you kiddo!

TC

 

[Buckalew]

{{{Hugs}}} from me too. I did a lady's hair today who is just newly divorced and feeling the same way and even feeling like she can never trust again. Time will help as it did for my best friend Karen who is dating a guy and very happy (it has been 5 years) but FIRST, she is happy with herself and now is ready to be happy with a guy. Make yourself happy, Serena, then you can share that happiness with someone. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Lars624]

{{hugs}} to you Serena!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Stopping by for a {hug} for a friend, Laurie. Memories are so recently fresh that you can not but wonder. Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks.

Dan

 

[newmousecateer]

Hi Laurie

Never thought I would tell so many people what my life was like, but I want you to know you should never give up sweetie.

My first husband left me when DS was only 9 months old. He left me for someone else. I was devistated and so afraid. I was only 22 yrs. old at the time. We had a very rough time. I would feed him pastina because it was filling for him, but I would go to bed so hungry I would be crying. (these are facts, not meant for sympathy) I actually fought off a mouse who was eating my potato chip crumbs one night because that was supposed to be my dinner.

Met DH #2. We switched cars one day and I found pictures of him with other women. Laid them out on the kitchen table for him to see when he came home that day (I actually enjoyed that ). Gave him one week to get the heck out.

Then I met DH. Boy, what a blessing that was. He has raised DS with me, loved me and DS, been a guiding force in DS's life and mine. DS thinks of him as his POP's. Loves him soooo much. We have had a wonderful 19 years together. We live, love, laugh and have fun together. We cherish each day we have together. I could not ask for a more wondeful man in mine and DS's life.

Am I embaressed I am on my third marriage? No. I am proud I came through the rough times to find the love of my life.

{{{HUGS}}}. Hang in there Laurie. There is always hope...and love.

 

[JasonLyons]

he loves her, but she loves him, hes with somebody else you just cant win....love stinks

 

[Serena]

Jason, you could write a country song with that.

 

[spb999]

Hugs Laurie .....

I have no advice or stories .....just wanted to thank you for starting this thread as the words of encouragement may be good for me as well ....we weren't married but we were together for 5 years and for some unknown reason when it comes to love he "wasn't feeling like that anymore" ....... so I've been on that seemingly never-ending ride on the emotional roller coaster .....
and look for these stories to offer me help as well !

All the best to you and your children ....