I need to de-stress

[Rajah]

I am just way too stressed right now, and I need to de-stress. (I know, there are others who are facing more stress out there than I am, but I'm still reaching my limit.)

I'm worried about my job in particular and the entire space program in a more generic sense.

I'm worried about what's going to *happen* at work over the next couple of weeks for short term and in the long term if the space program continues.

I'm worried about my health and energy levels because I've been so run down these past couple of weeks I'm not sure I can keep up with the schedule I've put myelf in, and yet I *love* this graduate program and don't want to give it up.

I'm worried about our finances, especially after adding the cost of another car payment on everything (even though the car my mom and I found was $8000 less than what DH expected us to find). And especially since DH keeps complaining about us being in too much debt and then turns right around and says "lets go out to eat" two or three or four times a week.

I'm worried about my kitties -- just general worry because we're still within a week of the 1 year anniversary of losing Sage. A night hasn't gone by since mid-January that I haven't woken up in the middle of the night wondering if my babies were okay. None of them have done anything to show that they're sick, it's just being so close to the anniversary of Sage's death, I worry.

I'm worried about a couple of DH's habits (driving and drinking most notably) and what might happen.

I'm worried about the drive I have to take to and from school now -- it takes me on freeways I'm not comfortable driving half the time, even though I'm taking the safest route to and from.

I'm worried about my parent's health.

I'm practically sitting here in tears tonight because I'm so stressed, and I know that's not good for me. I need to do something to de-stress.

 

[jenjenmouse]

Rajah,

I'm sorry you are so stressed. Where in Tx are you? I'm in San Antonio. Try to think of happy times and just close your eyes and relax. I guess from your post that you have many cats. I also guess that some illness took one from you. Trust that you are doing what you know how to do and remember that when you know how to do more, you will. You are who you are and you are where you are for a reason. If your dh is drinking and driving, that is a crime. You can only warn him of the possible harm he can do to others. That is completely not acceptable and you will know what to do when you make up your mind to do it.

Maybe you could get some help with your money issues. I am in the same boat as far as money goes.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel the sweet relief Iam sending your way.

 

[Disney845]

Hey Rajah.......

I just wanted to let you know that crying is sometime one of the best things you can do, so you shouldn't be ashamed of it. It helps you to release so much anger and stress that would otherwise continue to build up and fester inside of you. Besides after a good long hard cry, you will most likely exhaust yourself to the point of getting a good nights rest. At least that is how it happens sometimes to me.

The other night I was sitting around feeling kinda sad and sorry for myself too. My SO goes on a lot of business trips, and it just so happens he is gone right now as well. I am still feeling sorrow and loneliness after 8 months here in Indy because I miss my family and friends and life back in FL. I am stressed about attending school from a distance, and the extra course I added to my load this semester. I am wondering if I will finish my degree on my projected time, and then I wonder what I will do once I finally finish school. (Sometimes I think I might never be good at doing anything but being a student). I am stressed about the possibility of having to go back to FL this summer to take courses I need for graduation, but can't do online. I am stressed about trying to find a job. I need to get a new car. Although I like mine, and it isn't too old, it has had some problems and we think it would be best to find something else before this one costs us more money in repair costs. (I was following your recent car repair/buying experience, because mine is very similar ). SO and I are also getting involved in house building, which try as we might to stay sane through is really taking its toll.

I am not sharing all of my issues to try and trivialize yours. I just want you to know that you are not all alone. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are dealing with that it is nice to realize we know others (even virtually) who are in our same boat. It can be especially hard when everyone around you looks like they are doing splendidly in life, and you are struggling to hold your head above the water on a daily basis.

I think you should go grab a kitty and give her a big hug. Cry your eyes out, have something sinful to eat, and get some rest!

 

[Rajah]

Jen -- I'm in the Houston area. And to clarify on DH, I put them in that order (driving and drinking) because it's two different habits, not usually together. I just don't like his driving style, I think it's unsafe, and he likes to have between 1 and 3 glasses of wine or other alcholic beverages every night, which is about 7x more what I'm comfortable with. Usually, those drinks are after he gets home.

Yes, I have 3 kitties, and before we got two of the three we have now, we had one other that we lost to FIP after only having him for 2 months. Because of that, I'm constantly worried that the others are going to get sick, too. Usually it's not too bad, but being so close to the 1-year anniversary of losing Sage, I worry more.

Disney -- I didn't feel you were listing them to trivialize mine -- sounds like we're very much in the same boat, aren't we? I guess this is all stuff that almost every student goes through at some point in time, isn't it? *hugs*

 

[Cindy B]

So many different issues there...

Debt, miscommunication, fear, worry, and other things.

It truly sounds like you and DH need to have a heart to heart, amnesty talk. (No, not Amnesty International), but a talk about what is bothering you.. and what you think, etc. Remember this is not a VENT sesssion, (and other thing, etc... ) but a I am concerned about this (debt, money, etc)


Ask him to have some things that is concerning him about you as well. I think a big communication pow wow is in order for both of you.


I know this is a hard time for you.. it will be a challenge getting up and going to work today. You can do it.


As for the other things, the worry isn't healthy.. it robs you of joy, and productivity. Think of all the time wasted worrying... you could be doing something happier with that.

Stop letting the worry consume you, and you do your best. You are much too young to have the worries that you have. (You will have an ulcer!, trust me I know, DH had ulcers at 18!)

You can change, and you have to want the change. You have to HATE (I never use the word hate, so this is a strong word for me) your current way of life.

As for the issues, debt, health, family health, etc... just let it work itself out. There are just things beyond your control.. You can not be behind the wheel with your DH.. you can not control what he drinks, etc.

Take care, and realize what you can be doing instead of worrying.

 

[jenjenmouse]

Rajah,

Oh, I'm so glad it wasn't drinking and driving. My mistake! Hope you are feeling better

 

[hercamore]

Hi,

Most gals I know (including myself) find daily exercise the best way to relieve stress.

I can really tell when I don't exercise, I am just a worrywart!

Good luck,


Herc.

 

[fklhou]

Tammi

We need another DIS meet soon. Get well and try to relax.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Tammi,
2 weeks ago, I had reached a stress limit, I threw myself on our bed and cried my heart out. I kicked my legs, pounded my fists into the bed, and then cried some more. It did help me, and I hope that you can find a way to destress somehow. You have a lot going on, and all I can say is take one thing at a time, and one day at a time. I can relate to the money problems and the uncertainty of job futures. It manifests itself into everything all the time. I am sorry your are hurting right now. {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you.