I need help making a decision, PLEASE!! To go or not to go...that is the question?

[kimberlyp02]

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SITUATION? Ok, here's what happened. I have a company that I run from home. I started last year and was able to pay off all of my equipment and this year am actually able to take money out for us. So, we were planning on paying a little extra on our house and just saving a little too. We got the 7/4 Visa deal and thought it was a great opportunity to go to Disney!, so we just decided, we'll save later.

This is our dilemma, we have a dd that will be 2 in April. We got the Disney Visa and were planning on booking our trip for Sept. (she'll be 2.5) Well, we were wanting to start trying to get pregnant again right after that. My dh was talking with me tonight though and said that if we take this trip that he doesn't want to start trying until we can save up a little more money(we don't have maternity insurance now, my 1st dd we did) and we don't have much savings....well, not enough to cover a pregnancy and child birth. It would probably take us another 6months or so to save enough that we would be comfortable with trying to get pregnant again, so she would be 3, so we wouldn' t have our 2nd baby until she was almost 4 if all went well.

I really wanted my kids no more than 3 years apart, but I also think that taking a big trip with our dd would be a wonderful way to create memories of the 3 of us and really share special time before we make another addition to our family.

We were going to use the 7/4 deal, which I think is way too good to pass up(Do these come around that often?...seems too good).

I know this is more personal than Disney, but what would you do? Go on this trip and wait another 6months or more to get pregnant? Or Stay home and get pregnant sooner?

Sorry if this seems silly to be asking, "should I go to disney or have a baby?"...lol I would just like some advice from some of you that have more than one child. Is this as important of a thing that I'm making it(spending quality and special time with your child before getting pregnant again)?

PLEASE HELP....I was fine until I started thinking about and my dh and I talked about this....Is 4 years too far apart for kids to be close to each other while young? Oh, if it helps my dh is 29 and I will be 25 in a couple months.

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!!
Kimberly P. "Who knew that getting a application for a credit card in the mail would turn into all of this!, I'm never opening another one again! "

 

[tink2dw]

I think 8 and 4 are perfect ages for a 1st trip to WDW!!!

 

[mad4themouse]

I think that if your original life plan was to have another child when your DD reaches 3, then you should follow it.

My own children are 22 months apart. I cherish them dearly but if I'd had the luxury of choice, they would not have been so close in age. DD took many months and many visits to the fertility specialist to concieve. DS was the bonus that came almost 2 years later. Surprise! My point is that when it comes to babies, things do not always follow the plan that we have laid out for ourselves.

WDW will still be there next year, the year after that and 10 years from that. If you do not begin to try for another child this fall, your children will be 4 (or more) years apart in age. And they will always be that far apart in age. Four years is not too big of a difference but what if it is more like 5? or 6? or even more?

Of course, my opinion is heavily weighted by my own experiences. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. I'm sure that it will be what's best for your family.

 

[disney4us2002]

As much as I love Disney, I'd have to agree with the previous poster. Disney will be there. I have great memories of going to Disney with my first son who was two but he remembers next to nothing about it, lol. We have wonderful pictures of him with Mickey and all the other characters but that trip was clearly for me! I'm the Disney fanatic. As for spacing kids, we had our first two nearly 4 yrs apart and then the third boy was 3 yrs after the middle. The last two are much closer in similarity of toys, stages, etc. than the first two were. To me three years is a better range. I also think having the same sex was easier but it's a toss up if that'll happen, lol.

As for Disney discounts, there are usually some. Last year there was apparently a 7/4 that was better than this one (so I'm told at least). I get frustrated with the Disney package discounts because most I find are set up for the family of four and those of us with five have a harder time and are really limited to room only and then must stay deluxe or two rooms elsewhere.

 

[d.daniels]

I WOULD GO TODISNEY. I HAVE 3 CHILDREN. I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD AND A 10 YEAR OLD. THEY ARE 4 YEARS AND 1 DAY AND I HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD ALSO(YEARS OF TRYING AND PRAYING. I AM SO HAPPY I HAVE THE MEMORIES I DO WITH EACH OF MY CHILDREN. THOSE YEARS IN BETWEEN MY 2 OLDEST GAVE ME TIME TO DO SPECIAL THINGS WITH EACH ONE AND TOGETHER. MY 10 AND 14 ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS.
WE TOOK OUR 3 YEAR OLD TO DISNEY WHEN SHE WAS 2. AND WE HAD THE BEST TIME, EVEN THE OLDER ONES LOVED SEEING HER EXCITEMENT.

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

 

[sue1013]

Maybe I'm reading the OP wrong but sounds to me like you don't have health insurance. JMO but if I didn't have insurance I wouldn't be considering having another child forget about taking vacation until I had insurance.

 

[ceecee]

I was thinking the same thing. No insurance???? Or just no maternity on the policy (can they still do that?). I would be using the money to get some insurance, vacations can wait. One of our patient's who did not have insurance had to "prepay" the hospital and were planning on a mid wife. Well, long story short...the normal delivery turned into an emergency C-section with complications. The bill was over $20,000.

 

[CheapMom]

I think she means she does not get paid for maternity leave- same as me- I also run a business from home.
My advice to you-- Have That Baby!!!!! Believe me, it is a much better gift for DD than a trip to WDW. Wait a few years and take the whole gang to the world.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!

 

[CheapMom]

Originally posted by mad4themouse
My own children are 22 months apart. I cherish them dearly but if I'd had the luxury of choice, they would not have been so close in age.

My 1st 2 are 14 months apart (7&8 now) and they are the best of friends. The 1st 2 years were soooo hard but now I love it!
(My 3rd one is 6 years younger than my 2nd. Too large a gap IMO but I do get lots of help from Thing 1 and 2 as DH calls them)

 

[punkin]

I'd go to disney! I have 2 girls exactly 6 years apart. My sister is almost 9 years older than me (no other siblings). My sister has a 21 yr old son and 5 yr old daughter. We are a very close family. One extra year will make no difference in the long run (and you'll avoid having 2 in diapers at the same time). On the insurance note. Not having maternity leave paid for is alright, BUT if you don't have insurance, forget Disney, forget a new baby and buy insurance first.

 

[CheapMom]

BTW Kimberly- I know how hard it is trying to save. Do you know about the *** bank account? It is the easiest way to save ever- they will automatically debit from your checking any amount you wish either monthly or bi monthly and it pays 2% (better than my money market) PLUS you get $25 for opening an account. There are no minimums and if you need the money you have access to it with no penalty. If interested I can send you a referal so you get your $25 bonus.
PS: If you refer a friend you also get $10
PM ME IF INTERESTED

 

[CarolA]

This is unrelated advice, but.... LOOK for insurance or make sure your insurance will cover the child after birth. While we all want to assume everything will go great, if you were to have problems you could lose EVERYTHING!!! I have a friend whose newborn has been in the hospital since November (and it is almost March) She was on bedrest in the hosptial for 6 weeks prior to the birth! The costs that she had to pay are extreme and I cannot imagine what the total bill will be.

 

[CheapMom]

Hey Kimberly- according to your countdown- you are going to WDW- I have to agree if you medical will not cover prenatal and childbirth that should be your 1st priority. I had 3 healthy pregs, and deliveries and if I had to pay for them out of pocket I'd be in debt forever. Now with like 1 of 5 births being C-section...FAH-GET-ABOUT-IT!!!! Even if things go well,
you gotta have enough for that all important epidural!
A co-worker of mine had insurance that did not cover pain medication during birth (isn't that dumb) and she was in labor and moaning in pain, her DH was like, "get some drugs" and she was going "no, it's too expensive, I want new furniture, No Drugs!!!" She endured too.

 

[punkin]

CheapMom- not one in five, but one in three. Personally, I think it's criminal. As for pain medication, I was more scared of the epidural needle than childbirth pain, so I stuck it out without any meds at all.

 

[CheapMom]

I had an epidural with my first baby- and it was such a miserable experience I had my next 2 with no drugs- truly- much more pleasant- Some gals love 'em though.
off topic much????

 

[mad4themouse]

Oooh, I missed the line about maternity insurance. DH is self-employed and I had forgotten about the "maternity" rider that we carried on our policy to cover us. There is no way we could have paid for all the expenses incurred regarding DD's birth. Without going in to detail, let's just say that it was a difficult one and that she truly is a "million dollar baby".

Kimberlyp02, if you don't have a maternity rider to your health insurance, get one before you even think "baby".

 

[kimberlyp02]

Ok...lol...Let me clear this up...We have GREAT insurance(the second the baby is born, it's covered), but NO prenatal or child birth coverage on it. In Texas, you can't hardly find anyone that does cover maternity anymore and when you do, you pay so much to them that it's just like if you saved up and paid the bill yourself. I'm talking $400-600 more a month!! I need to check with ours though and see what they would charge again. I know last time I freaked when I heard what they wanted to charge me.

With my first dd, I had an epidural and it was HEAVEN!!! I didn't feel a thing. I even took pics of my dh cutting the cord...lol That was wonderful. It was the 3-4 weeks after of not being able to sit that was a killer.

We have planned this trip since before we had dd. We decided last year not to go and to get my dh braces. They ended up costing around $5000 which we got a loan for and with our tax return/and a little savings, we paid them off this month. So besides that, we have no debt except for our house and one car. I HATE debt. I think that's my biggest concern. We have about $5000 saved in our bank account. I know it's not alot, but it's something. My dd also has $5000 in savings bonds...but I would NEVER touch that.

I could pay for this trip to Disney in about 6 months from my company, so our $5000 would stay in savings.

So we aren't without insurance or have no savings, I just want to be able to keep savings. Like, I don't want to save up and all of a sudden be with a baby and no savings in the bank, you know?

But, then again, my dh gets a bonus in June. It's supposed to be at least $3000, so I guess we could book the trip and if he gets it. woohoo, get pregnant and if not then wait a few more months?...lol

Thanks for all your advice guys!

 

[Letsbgoofy]

Insurance aside...your 2 year old daughter is not going to remember this trip. If your consideration is her, I wouldn't even think about going. If you want the memories for you and your husband, you have gotten better advise from previous posters than I could give!

 

[pumpkinboy]

As good a deal as 7 for 4 is (we loved it last fall @AKL), DVC is an even better deal; plus it guarantees that you'll be going back again and again. With banking and borrowing, once every three yrs is all it takes to make it worth it.

And when you come right down to it, WDW and DVC will still be there after your youngest (to be born sooner rather than later) turns 1 or 2. And you can go back again and again...

So I also come down on the side of Baby first, WDW later. Yeah it would be nice to go just the three of you, but I expect your 2 yr old will enjoy having a younger sibling even more (and longer term).

Good luck!

 

[kimberlyp02]

We aren't doing it for my 2yr old to remember it, we wanted to go to just have a nice vacation and quality time together before we dove into having another baby(which I consider a HUGE blessing). But, I would love to have the pictures/etc for dd to look at one day. Also, she may not remember it when she's alot older, but it would create good memories for her for a few years at least too. We went to Galveston a while back(probably 6months ago) and everytime she looks at the pictures, she can tell us exactly what we did.

We have decided that we are going to call around about Maternity add-ons for our insurance and see what kind of deals we can get. If it's reasonable, then we will go to Disney. If not, we will stay here and take our 3 smaller vacations we were planning on taking. 1. New Orleans(couple days - zoo and aquarium and shopping for her b-day in April) 2. San Antonio (4 to 5 days or so - really nice zoo/Sea World and Schlitterband waterpark in New Braunsfels) in June around my b-day and 3. Our yearly trip to Galveston for Moody Gardens( 2 to 3 days - Aquarium, Rainforest, etc), Great Eating and then we go to the Woodlands for chuck e cheese and shopping(build-a-bear)

Those 3 trips probably wouldn't be 1/2 of what Disney is all together(although we would rather be at Disney

But I've thought about it and I do not want my kids 4 years apart. I will wait from Disney if we can't get good insurance that's affordable and pray that I can get a good deal again

Thanks!!