I need help from DIS Moms! (Long)

[Jenn Lynn]

DD is 22 months old and in the last 3 weeks weaned herself from all BFing except nursing to sleep. She takes one nap a day. On Monday I decided that it was time to wean her from all nursing.

Now naptimes and night time is a nightmare. Getting her to sleep has become a power struggle. I have tried everythign I can think of.
I have taken her to bed before she gets overtired. This results in her playing around for a while and then getting mad and refusing to lay down.
I have tried giving her a "baby", but she would lay there and play with it all day.
She asked for something to drink yesterday and when she was done drinking (playing with it) and I took it away she pitched a fit.
I cannot leave the room. She sobs hysterically and ends up gagging herself. And has those full body gasps for air. It's like she thinks I am going to abandon her. She clings onto me for dear life.

I expected some crying and fighting, but really not this much. She won't lay still for 10 seconds. Every time she sits up I lay her back down.

I am just really frustrated. I know that there has to be a better way than this. I don't want to fight this until she just gives in. There has to be a balance where she feels like she has some control and we are not battling all the time. I feel like right now she needs something and I can't give it too her.
It's not in me to let her be sobbing and crying. It's not my parenting style.

It may sound weird, but this is really hurting me to have her be this way.

So does anyone have any advice or have you found any tricks that worked with your child? I could really use some good hints.

Thanks.

 

[floridaminnie]

Have you thought of leaving one night and having her Daddy put her to bed. He can't give her what she wants and you aren't around. It's the beginning that's hard. I really think it's harder on us than it is on them. Just hearing that crying breaks my heart sometimes.

 

[kejoda]

Have you tried cuddling her for awhile before she takes the nap?

It does take awile for a new routine to set in. You might just be in for a rough couple of weeks. One thing you could try is to take a picture of each thing she does before she lays down.

Another that we used is music.

 

[mrsv98]

Well, I understand that you don't want to hear her cry, but you are giving her all the control by coming in everytime she cries. Give her the "baby", put her in bed and leave the room. Do not go back in for at least 10 mins. It feels like an eternity, believe me, I understand. When you go back in, reassure her, give her a kiss, settle her down and leave again. Try and stretch out the time between going back in. You say she would play with the baby all afternoon, so what. If she is in her bed and quiet, I would take that as a victory. Everytime you go back in, you reinforce to her that the crying and screaming work and she gets exactly what she wants by repeating the behavior. I also wouldn't worry about her standing up, eventually she will get tired and lie down but that is trivial in the long run and something you don't need to "control" so much. Good luck and remember, this too shall pass!

 

[mtemm]

the thing that worked best for us was following a book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...104-4749264-9883144?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

I had many people recommend the book because we were having nap issues by the time my son was 4 or 5 months. I would read it, throw it across the room in disgust because I didn't want Daniel to CIO at all. Finally when he was 6 months his nighttime sleeping started being a problem, too, and I re-read it. Understood better what he was getting across. Tried it. took just a few (hard) days, and suddenly Daniel was putting himself to sleep in his crib (gasp) for naps, was on a routine, and was much happier overall. I used to nurse him down for naps when they got difficult prior to this, but never did it at night because I'd had enough people warn me off of that.

Another book that you might want to check out is The No Cry Sleep Solution. I've never used it myself, but some friend's have and liked it. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...f=sr_1_1/104-4749264-9883144?v=glance&s=books

good luck!!!!!

 

[Cindy B]

I have to agree every time you go in there, she is getting what she wants... YOU!!!


Its hard, very hard, but the strecth it out is the best thing for you. Also letting DH put her to bed is a great idea as well.

Music worked for our kids, and just patting them on the back while they were crying, not even picking them up out of the crib...

 

[Eiblis]

I agree .........the time works.........but is real hard on mums.
It generally takes about 4-10 days to break their habits at that age......so with my second one(DD).....that was what i focused on.
left for 5 mins....returned to room.....didnt talk, smile, play.....just gave cuddle till she calmed down.....then laid her down and left...
repeated.......lengthening time in between ( drank lots of coffee)
You do need to be in a strong mood tho....and dont weaken once cos it goes back to square one, but my DD was sleeping in bed at night n her own after 5 nights......peace reigned.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My youngest is almost 15 so I don't remember any helpful hints.

Just remember that you WILL get through this, and sleep WILL return.

{{{{hugs}}}} to you.

 

[floridaminnie]

Are you getting sleep with a 15 yr old. DD is 3, sleeps through the night and I stll can't get a decent sleep. I've turned into a light sleeper and I HATE it!