I need help coping with my miscarriage- last update 5/21

[lecach]

I lost my first pregnancy - same as you, went for my first ultrasound and the heart wasn't beating. I had to have a D&E the day after Christmas - 2003. The hospital could have handled the situation better - the terminology they used on the paperwork was shocking and the nurses in recovery were complaining about their pregnancies. But it went really fast and I was up and moving the next day.

I will tell you that most likely, you will remember everything far longer than anyone else. I think about it at Christmas since that's when I had my D&E. I still remember the due date of mine (July 27) and wonder from time to time if it was a boy or a girl. I very much doubt that anyone else around me even remembers the due month.

I've gone on to have a perfectly healthy happy boy but that loss will always be a part of me. And while you do already have a family it doesnt make this loss any less painful.

Everyone grieves differently. I recovered pretty fast but others take longer. Take as much time as you need for YOU.

 

[celerystalker]

Just a note to let you know I'm thinking about you.

 

[Laren]

Thinking of you too and all here who have been down this sad road

 

[Keggy]

 

[mum4jenn]

My first pregnancy ended in the same result. One of the things that helped my dh and I was to write my feelings in the baby book. The one we had had a page for each parent to write a message to the baby so we used those pages. We wrote about our wishes had the baby been born and the saddness we felt about losing it. They were not able to ever determine the sex of the baby so we just used the nickname we had given him/her. We both cried buckets of tears trying to get those words on paper but it really helped so much. I still go back and read our messages at least once a year (the due date month) and even though it was 11 years ago it still feels like it just happened when I read those words.

to you and your DH

 

[LittleBlue22]

My D&C took about 6 hours!! Not the surgery but the waiting around for the OR. I was not a priority and I was a mess. So miserable and cried for all 6 hours. The procedure itself was about an hour of me being under- 30 of that was in recovery I believe. I felt terrible immediately after and just wanted to sleep. The next day I felt much better physically. Good luck to you.

Here is a little strange coincidence story. Exactly one year later to the day of my D&C I was checking into the hospital to give birth to my daughter. When my dh went to admit me they said "oh we already have your information for today- the D&C " Then they realized that was a year earlier. I felt like my angel was with me that day.

How agonizing. What a great coincidence! Of course your angel was/is with you.

 

[LittleBlue22]

Well, its over, at least physically. The wait time and the recovery time took longer than the actual surgery. While with the prep nurse, I got some unexpected news. A) I could get a container of ashes (not all my own, but with others), B) I'd be invited to a group funeral C) I'd receive a little golden ring. It was bad enough that I had tears streaming, but when I heard this news, it just made me cry more.

The nurses were fantastic and held my hand. I felt like a baby myself crying like I did. I couldn't help it. My OB dr. was there and was great. I'm glad I knew who was doing the procedure. I joked with the attending nurse and asked her if I could wear her patriotic hat instead of my blue net. She said no. As I was breathing the oxygen (heavily so I'd knock myself out faster), the nurse says, try and think a happy thought. Through my tears and holding her hand, I thought of my family.

Next thing I knew, I could hear papers rustling, it was over. I stayed long enough for the IV to run out w/ my dh by my side. I checked out and have been home since.

Right now I feel fine physically, but maybe that's the drugs still talking. I feel empty inside. I'm bleeding and I keep thinking that parts are going to come out, even though they won't.

Thank you all for being with me through this sad journey.

 

[OhMari]

I followed this from the first day, and I apologize for not posting. I don't know what to say, except,

 

[Hedy]

 

[lucas]

LB, I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[OregonDisneyFanatic]

Love you!

 

[LittleBlue22]

I followed this from the first day, and I apologize for not posting. I don't know what to say, except,

There is no need to apologize, thank you for following my journey.

Thank you for the kind words and s

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Well, its over, at least physically. The wait time and the recovery time took longer than the actual surgery. While with the prep nurse, I got some unexpected news. A) I could get a container of ashes (not all my own, but with others), B) I'd be invited to a group funeral C) I'd receive a little golden ring. It was bad enough that I had tears streaming, but when I heard this news, it just made me cry more.

The nurses were fantastic and held my hand. I felt like a baby myself crying like I did. I couldn't help it. My OB dr. was there and was great. I'm glad I knew who was doing the procedure. I joked with the attending nurse and asked her if I could wear her patriotic hat instead of my blue net. She said no. As I was breathing the oxygen (heavily so I'd knock myself out faster), the nurse says, try and think a happy thought. Through my tears and holding her hand, I thought of my family.

Next thing I knew, I could hear papers rustling, it was over. I stayed long enough for the IV to run out w/ my dh by my side. I checked out and have been home since.

Right now I feel fine physically, but maybe that's the drugs still talking. I feel empty inside. I'm bleeding and I keep thinking that parts are going to come out, even though they won't.

Thank you all for being with me through this sad journey.

LittleBlue, hugs to you on this sad day. Please come rejoin the Mooving thread, we will be good friends to you

 

[need_a_Disney_fix]

LittleBlue, my prayers are with you and I have thought of you several times. May you feel at peace very soon. I cannot imagine what you are experiencing, but please know many people are thinking of you.

 

[Disneylover79]

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

I'm so sorry. I'm glad that the D&C is over.

Please know I'm thinking about you.

 

[TwinkieMama]

Thanks for the update- I know it was hard to write. Count me as one of the many who are thinking of you during this sad time.

I love your new signature Little Blue. Sleep well.

 

[DisneyBride'03]

Prayers are with you and your family.....time does help heal the pain in your heart....I know you may think How do I get over this....not sure if any woman can who has gone through this.
Please know you will feel better soon....I am so sorry you are going through this, I know the pain....I re visit it every time I read about someone else going through this.
Please be strong and accept all the love and support from others.....remember its sometimes hard for others to understand who have not had this experience.
I have 3 baby boys that are angels.

 

[Amy&Dan]

LittleBlue, I am so sorry. I am glad the D&C is over for you. Please take care of yourself.

P.S. That picture in your signature is the most beautiful thing.

 

[S. C.]