I need help, again!!!!

[beautybelle]

I really didnt want to post this on here but I honestly have nobody else to talk to about this.
Is there anybody else out there that has this problem? Here it is. When my husband and I married we both were average size people, well as time has moved on and Ive had 2 kids I have gained a lot of weight and certain things have went south etc etc. You know the story. Well my husband looks better than he ever has, like zero body fat, muscles and all. Ive gotten so that I hate to go anywhere with him and resentment is really starting to creep in. I love him with everything in me but this difference is really making me miserable. I dont know how to overcome it and Im afraid that if I dont do something its going to get to the point of something bad.
I know what your going to say, go to the gym and loose the weight. Well I would love to but between work and the kids and running them here and there I cant find the time. I dont know what to do. I hope somebody out there has some answers.

 

[PirateKitty]

IMHO, it sounds like you need to start making some time for yourself. Losing the weight isn't going to happen overnight, and gaining back some confidence in yourself will be a challenge. Maybe make small changes to your diet, then add in "me time" with a walk several times a week. Does your husband help with the kids/running around, etc? If he had the time to get in shape and stay in shape, then its your turn. I don't think you need to shell out $$ for a gym membership. Just take baby steps and focus on you a little each day.

 

[DISUNC]

Take small steps!!!!!

Try a Weigh Watchers near you...less than a hour a week! Great sensible diet & MUCH Support!

Also I HIGHLY RECCOMMEND Utah Mamas thread here on DIS! You will loose weight by laughing your butt off!
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1273475...tell her I sent ya!

Good Luck! It's not EZ and YOU AINT ALONE!

 

[UtahMama]

Get your bum over to the WISH thread!!! Friday's are weigh days...you'll fit right in!!!

PM me if you want to talk. Oh, nice to meet you

Oh, tell DISUNC to high tail it back on the wagon...here, I'll skootch over to make room for both of you!


(Put DOWN the easter candy!)LOL!!

 

[CEDmom]

You have to build time into the day for you. Get your DH to do bedtime so you can workout or do what I do and get up before everyone else and do it. Putting yourself 1st sometimes is in the best interest of your family. Good luck.

 

[tikilyn]

Boy I could have wrote this post OP!! I so know what you are feeling. Fine some time to get away. I walk with my neighbor every night for an hour. It's great I get woman to women talk and a break from the kids!! My dh does the bed time stuff for me but then agian I have to get them up in the morning. Works for us!!

 

[cleo]

Sounds like DH has taken time just for 'him'. I agree with PirateKitty--it's your turn. Or rather, it's his turn to support YOU by taking the kids here and there, etc, while you take a break and focus on being YOU again for a while. It's amazing how inspired you feel when you have time to just be a woman again, not Mom, not Wife, just You.

I could never do the gym thing, but walking is a real boon (get a treadmill if you don't want to leave the house). Have DH make meals for himself and the children so you can focus on making meals JUST for you. That keeps temptation at bay. If he protests he can't do it or doesn't have time, help him understand he can by telling him you believe in him and know he's up to the challenge.

It's hard, but honey, you can do it! The first thing I think women need to do is TAKE the time they need. That's harder than losing weight, getting the ****s back up where they belong, and putting on a bit of makeup each day, isn't it? We give, but we don't take. Instead, we eat. TAKE for a while and the rest becomes easy. Or at least, easier. It isn't selfish, it's life affirming and healthy.

Don't be hard on yourself, my dear. You are not alone, and there IS a solution. Be kind to yourself, take time for yourself, and good things will come of it.

 

[Caradana]

I adore weight watchers. Give it a try - you will see a difference. The key here is to find a way for you to feel better about yourself. Best of luck to you!

 

[Indianadisneyfan]

I say you need some time to your self. You could go walking in the evenings or all of you could go. If your husband doesn't want to ,take the kids. If it's still to cold to walk outside you could go the the mall or large area inside to walk. If you work in a building where there is stairs take them instead of the elevator.

 

[beautybelle]

Im going to try but Im at such a low point right now in my life its hard for me to get motivated to do anything. I know I sound whinny, and I hate it. All I seem to want to do is sit and stare at the walls. Our Disney trip is coming up and I try to stay hyped about that when the kids are around I plaster a smile on my face. Have you ever wanted to find a hiding spot and just hide so nobody could find you, the world cant come in? I am desparate for help, I feel like im choking sometimes because of the misery. I feel like im screaming at you. Time is marching on and im not gettng any better. I dont know what I expect you to tell me, maybe nothing, maybe I just want to write this to see what it looks like out in the open. Im tired so I think I will go to bed now.
To anybody who feels like flaming me, under normal circumstances I wouldnt care, but this one time, if you dont have something good to say to me, then please just move on. Just this once.

 

[natenapril]

Hope you don't take this as a flame but it sounds like you should talk to your dr. about being depressed.

 

[disykat]

I'll chime in with some sympathy. It IS hard when your husband is thin. My husband has always been "skinny" and has been lifting weights and now he's started running. Sometimes it makes me just want to kill him! He has some sympathy for me, but it's hard for him to understand my issues. He has difficulty keeping weight on and I struggle with every pound lost(or gained as it may be!).

I know it's hard, but you really have to address your weight issues seperately from the other stuff. If you get caught up in it, it's hard to get motivated because weight doesn't come off instantly - it's a long process. Your dh isn't going to get any less buff for you, so try not to see it as a big deal. Easier said than done I know. I'm 5 years older than my dh AND heavier, so I understand! I know my husband loves me no matter what I weigh so I try to do the same for him. I'm sure there's times we BOTH have to remind ourselves of that.

You've gotten some great advice. Go see someone if you think depression might be an issue. The WISH board is terrific. If I were you, I would address increasing activity FIRST. It will help you feel better.

I don't know how old your kids are, but they can be great exercise allies. When they were small, my kids enjoyed some of the exercise videos I had and would motivate me by asking to put in a tape. As they got older we would go to a park where I could walk and they could ride alongside. When they got too fast for me, we found a field they could play soccer in while I walked around the outside. Now that they are older, they enjoy walking the dog with me and we have some great conversations. I finally got a treadmill to get rid of the weather excuse. The hardest part is starting the habit, because once you get in the habit - it feels good and you don't want to miss a day! We have a couple of step counters and sometimes my kids like to "compete" with me - now that's motivating! I try to never make a deal of my weight issues with my kids, but learning to program exercise into your life is setting a great example!

I still need to lose weight. However, I find if I keep the exercise going I feel so much better about myself and it puts a stop to the gaining! I also feel like I'm just more comfortable in my skin when I exercise. A Disney trip can be a great motivator because you want to be comfortable doing lots of walking.

I know what you are going through! Take it one step at a time (literally) and start moving first.

 

[minkydog]

Im going to try but Im at such a low point right now in my life its hard for me to get motivated to do anything. I know I sound whinny, and I hate it. All I seem to want to do is sit and stare at the walls. Our Disney trip is coming up and I try to stay hyped about that when the kids are around I plaster a smile on my face. Have you ever wanted to find a hiding spot and just hide so nobody could find you, the world cant come in? I am desparate for help, I feel like im choking sometimes because of the misery. I feel like im screaming at you. Time is marching on and im not gettng any better. I dont know what I expect you to tell me, maybe nothing, maybe I just want to write this to see what it looks like out in the open. Im tired so I think I will go to bed now.
To anybody who feels like flaming me, under normal circumstances I wouldnt care, but this one time, if you dont have something good to say to me, then please just move on. Just this once.

Whoa, beauty! this is about way more than weight. You sound like you're depressed. I can tell you from long personal experience that it's nigh impossible to get yourself motivated once your this far down. Time to get to your doctor and tell her everything. It won't come as a surprise--they hear it every day and I'm sure she's heard worse. There are things that can help: 1) Medication, which can lift your mood and enable you to 2)Exercise and stick with an 3) Eating plan and get your feelings out effectively in 4) Therapy. It's a 4-part fix. You could lose 100lbs, but if you still hate yourself and have no interest in life, does it matter?

I wish you Godspeed. I have been in your shoes. It's a hard, hard thing.

 

[luv2nascar]

GET OVER TO THE WISH BOARD NOW!!!
Honestly you will get lots of support over there. You need help. If your husband isn't supportive find it on line or in a friend. www.sparkpeople.com
is another great resource. Great articles to read and tracking for food water etc. Make time for yourself. I have lost over 30# this year already mostly due to walking. I walk at least 30 minutes a day on the treadmill. I have changed to eating healthier but without the walking I wouldn't be doing this great. I have lots to lose so I'll be in a tough fight for a long time. There are plenty of people in the same boat over on the Wish board.