I need an honest opinion

[sarcasticfiesta]

My DBF and I are about to book a last minute trip to the world for three weeks from now. I knew I wanted to take my DS for his first trip this year, but I wasn't sure when. It just so happens that I have the money right now plus the kids stay and play free offer, and he will be getting out of school that week so I thought "perfect". Only problem is that my DBF's children will be going with their mom two weeks later. Would it be wrong to go without them? I don't see a problem with it as DBF's children go to a different school and they don't get out until a week later anway. I just want an outsider's opinion. We considered waiting and actually going at the same time as they are, but the crowd calenders shoot way up in the beginning of June and I don't want to be miserable. The heat I can't avoid but I figured mid may would be better crowd wise than June. So, thanks in advance for your opinions.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I'm going to say "why not?" It's not like your DBF's ex is going to take your DS. Would you really want to go the same time as his ex, anyway?

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

I'm going to say "why not?" It's not like your DBF's ex is going to take your DS. Would you really want to go the same time as his ex, anyway?

It definitely wasn't my first choice to go at the same time as his ex, but she made a big deal about us going without her kids. She said that we should go somewhere else for vacation or at the same time as they are because it's not right for us to go to Disney without them. Then I thought, well why does my DS have to "go somewhere else". He should get to go to Disney too. And why is it ok to go somewhere else without her children, but not to Disney?

 

[Mrs. Charming]

It definitely wasn't my first choice to go at the same time as his ex, but she made a big deal about us going without her kids. She said that we should go somewhere else for vacation or at the same time as they are because it's not right for us to go to Disney without them. Then I thought, well why does my DS have to "go somewhere else". He should get to go to Disney too. And why is it ok to go somewhere else without her children, but not to Disney?

LOL, but it's OK not for her to take your DS? Oye. Don't let her guilt you into something you don't want to do. Haha, vacation somewhere else? I'd tell her where to go!

She sounds like she'll be a PITA no matter what, so book the trip, and enjoy yourselves. It'll stink with her, it'll stink if you go by yourselves, so at least get a Disney trip out of it!

 

[KelleyGirl]

I'm Irish Catholic so I get the whole guilt thing. I understand why you're questioning this, but I think you should go and have fun. You are not intentionally trying to ruin anyone's plans. Sounds like you have a great opportunity for yourself, your kids, and your DBF. Enjoy!

Maybe you could do something special for your DBF's children as a result of your trip. You could mail them postcards from Mickey telling them he can't wait to see them, or you could buy some autograph books/pens and make some nice gift bags.

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

I'm Irish Catholic so I get the whole guilt thing. I understand why you're questioning this, but I think you should go and have fun. You are not intentionally trying to ruin anyone's plans. Sounds like you have a great opportunity for yourself, your kids, and your DBF. Enjoy!

Maybe you could do something special for your DBF's children as a result of your trip. You could mail them postcards from Mickey telling them he can't wait to see them, or you could buy some autograph books/pens and make some nice gift bags.

That's a great idea. Thanks. I think I'm letting this bother me more than it will bother them. Heck I'm jealous of them. They're going for 10 days with their mom and we can only afford 5 this time around. I'm feeling much better about the situation. I won't let this ruin something so exciting. It's my DS's first time

 

[LWatson]

I would probably tell her to shut her pie hole. It doesnt matter if you are going w/o her kids...she is going w/o yours.

 

[Alesia]

Is DBF your son's dad?

 

[disneydad78]

I'm Irish Catholic so I get the whole guilt thing. I understand why you're questioning this, but I think you should go and have fun. You are not intentionally trying to ruin anyone's plans. Sounds like you have a great opportunity for yourself, your kids, and your DBF. Enjoy!

Maybe you could do something special for your DBF's children as a result of your trip. You could mail them postcards from Mickey telling them he can't wait to see them, or you could buy some autograph books/pens and make some nice gift bags.

Um what does Irish Catholic got to do with it>>>

 

[KelleyGirl]

Um what does Irish Catholic got to do with it>>>

I guess it must be a regional quote - people often say it around here. Taking on the guilt of things that aren't really your own/aren't necessary, is what I meant.

 

[imthatgirl]

Where you aren't married I do see where it would be hurtful for you to take a vacation without his children.
Really who wants to see there dad take another persons child to WDW?
I do see both sides here.
Maybe you should take your son without your boyfriend. Or is your boyfriend your childs father?

 

[nmmom95]

She has a lot of nerve. All of the kids get to go, so I don't see what her problem is. I would not feel bad at all. I do like the idea of gift bags/postcards for DBF's kids. It's not their fault their mother is a nutjob.

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

Where you aren't married I do see where it would be hurtful for you to take a vacation without his children.
Really who wants to see there dad take another persons child to WDW?
I do see both sides here.
Maybe you should take your son without your boyfriend. Or is your boyfriend your childs father?

He is not my child's father, but I definitely can't go alone. I have considered it, but it's not a possibility. It's an 11 hour drive making good time. I couldn't drive all that way by myself, not to mention that I do not drive on the interstate (I'm a nervous driver) and my vision isn't the best. Flying isnt a possibility either as it's not in the budget.

It's not the children who are upset about the situation, it's their mother who is making a big deal out of it. She's a very difficult person and we've had so many issues with her not wanting to have the kids when she's supposed to or shipping them off with her mother on her days. I think she's just taking this opportunity to try to make us feel bad because she knows she has major shortcomings as a parent.

 

[disykat]

The children still all get to go to Disney, so I don't really see a huge problem. Really the option I see that makes sense is to invite the kids on your trip too. Usually that's what you do with step children so they don't feel left out. However, I would assume that would tick the mom off even more because then the wind would be knocked out of her sails vacation wise.

I would tell her "We're sorry if our vacation plans have upset you. Normally we would ask the children to accompany us, but since you had a Disney vacation already planned we didn't want to step on your toes."

I do think that you should be willing to take them if it becomes an option. Otherwise I can see how your timing might be seen as a way out taking his kids on the trip.

 

[imthatgirl]

He is not my child's father, but I definitely can't go alone. I have considered it, but it's not a possibility. It's an 11 hour drive making good time. I couldn't drive all that way by myself, not to mention that I do not drive on the interstate (I'm a nervous driver) and my vision isn't the best. Flying isnt a possibility either as it's not in the budget.

It's not the children who are upset about the situation, it's their mother who is making a big deal out of it. She's a very difficult person and we've had so many issues with her not wanting to have the kids when she's supposed to or shipping them off with her mother on her days. I think she's just taking this opportunity to try to make us feel bad because she knows she has major shortcomings as a parent.

How long have you been with him? Do you take other vacations with his kids?
IDK...I still understand the hurt feelings of your father taking someone elses child on vacation. they may not have expressed to you that they are hurt, but the mom who lives with them would see it. It's a tough thing being a mom, you feel your kids pain and it comes out in anger.

I'm not saying don;t go but maybe you can find a way to all go as a group. Because I can bet these kids would love to experience DW with their dad too.

 

[EKW]

Of course it's alright for you to go without them! Tell their mother that you understand how important those Disney memories will be to her and the children, and you want to respect her time with her children, so you are going slightly before they are.

It would be different if they weren't getting to go at all.

Sounds like she's just trying to control her ex...not thinking of the kids.

BTW, if she stays true-to-form for a controlling ex, next she'll threaten to not take her kids at all. Tell her you're sad to hear that, and you hope they get a chance to go soon because you're sure they'd love to visit Disney with their mom.

 

[persimmondeb]

She's being silly. Ignore her. If I read your post correctly, everyone is getting to go to Disney, at around the same time, if not necessarily together.

If she persists, you could suggest that you ALL attempt to co-ordinate your trips together. I realize that this is probably punishing everybody except the kids, but it would be "fair". I also doubt she'll take you up on it.

This is her issue with her ex (and she's not being super rational about it). You and your son are as entitled to go to Disney as anyone else is. If your boyfriend wants to go with you, that is his business, even if you need his physical assistance to make the trip possible.

 

[MSSANDRA]

How does your Boyfriends feel???

Does he want to experence WDW with his children as much as you want to with your son??

i would NOT go the same week as his ex, but would consider his needs needs and wants to have these experences with his kids too!!

 

[sarcasticfiesta]

How does your Boyfriends feel???

Does he want to experence WDW with his children as much as you want to with your son??

i would NOT go the same week as his ex, but would consider his needs needs and wants to have these experences with his kids too!!

It's not that my DBF doesn't want to experience Disney with his kids. He does, but we were also aware that his ex would be taking his kids so we thought we could do this trip because I promised my son we would go when he was done with Pre-K, and next year take them all together when they don't have another trip planned already.

Also, for whoever asked, we've been together two years and we do often take all three of them on camping trips and other vacations. It's not typical of us to take one and not the others.

 

[soonerfan2008]

When you have a blended family, sometimes you take different vacations. You guys will take some trips with al the kids, as well as some without. His kids will go on some trips with you and some with their mom.

That's just the way it is, and you should not let her make you feel guilty about it. Believe me, you will get to hear those comments every.single.time you do anything without all the kids.

(Spoken as a mom to two and a stepmom to two. And no, I don't have my stepkids in my siggy. I love them to pieces, but I have personal reasons for that choice )