I need a little help through this.

[cheermom1]

Your daughter is a good kid. You must have done something right mom. Good on you!

Enough of the "not pure" crap. That's bunk and you know it. Your daughter is strong, smart, and capable. It was going to happen...plain and simple. The notion of waiting until marriage is really unrealistic. You don't have to be happy about it, or love the idea. I totally understand. But make sure you NEVER make her feel bad or dirty for it. She came to you for help...she sounds mature and cautious.

You done good ma!

I know I told myself that if I can get her to wait till 18 I was doing good. But I think I still did good anyway, and no I didn't make her feel bad or anything I just told her I was disappointed and left it at that. But I talked to her about protection and that the pill doesn't cover STD's and stuff. You are right I knew it was going to happen. She did tell me that she was very glad I am a realistic momma, b/c most of her friends parents are not and she has several friends that haven;t told any adult what they are doing. She does have one friend who seems to think this is the way to keep a guy. Boy does she tell her other wise every chance she gets. She told me she tells her that all the time and tries to be a good friend to her.

Thank to everyone who said she is a very smart and responsible young lady. I know she is and I am so proud of her, it was my goal from the time I had her to make her very independent and responsible and to think on her own to take care of herself when she gets on her own.

 

[Crystal0608]

When I was 16, the parent had to make the appointment to get birth control. Lemme tell ya, not an easy issue to bring up. Kuddo's to your dd!

 

[cheermom1]

Hi 'hugs' to you

we have dd's of the same age and we have just gone through the same thing, we talked it over and let me tell you, you did the right thing.

One thing I have always said to my dd, if you get pregnant it wont ruin you life but it will change it, so she has been responsible enough to come to me and talk about anything and everything.

You take care and if you need someone to talk to pm me.

Angie

Thanks Angie that is so sweet of you. I will pm you as I have something that you might find a tad funny. I don't want to say it here though.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Oh boy, I am so not ready for that talk! I hope I will be as supportive as you. And I hope that my dd will value our relationship in the teen years to come to me with these types of concerns and issues. Ideally, she'd be a virgin until thirty, right? Lol! Good job, mama!

 

[si-am]

OMG I would FREAK if I found out my mom posted stuff like this about me!

OP I know you just needed to vent, but it just isn't very respectful to be putting this out there, even if you really believe no one in your town has ever heard of Disney World. (Because if they have, and they are interested in going, then yeah, they've probably seen the Dis.)

 

[Luvchefmic]

OMG I would FREAK if I found out my mom posted stuff like this about me!

OP I know you just needed to vent, but it just isn't very respectful to be putting this out there, even if you really believe no one in your town has ever heard of Disney World. (Because if they have, and they are interested in going, then yeah, they've probably seen the Dis.)

Oh c'mon OP is NOT namimg names...we are a community that is safe as any other on the internet, give the OP a break, she is seeking and getting support from other parents here

 

[RitaE]

hmm - I don't know how I would have reacted to see my Mother post things like this. We didn't have the internet back in those days, I think that is a good thing in cases such as this. I guess it probably would have bothered me to see private conversations relayed to so many other people that I didn't even know.

OP I'm not sure what kind of help you are seeking. It honestly kind of bothers me to see any adult woman calling another person "unpure" over sex and then to also see you report that you told her you are disappointed in her. I'm in a grouchy mood this morning but .... you really don't think your daughter is unpure - right? Because if you do I suggest maybe you should seek some counseling with a professional because those are just not healthy feelings to have over another person choosing to follow biological instincts and forming physical relations with another person.

If you want my personal viewpoint on this good vs bad parenting has nothing to do with some arbitrary age cutoff date for when it is okay for a young woman to have sex. I'd be much more concerned over whether or not your daughter is making good choices in regards to forming healthy relationships with partners and maintaining her physical and mental health.

I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and guess that what you are feeling is sad and nostalgic of yet another sign that your daughter is maturing and as such your relationship with her will be changing from Mother/Young Child to Mother/Adult Woman.

 

[sunnyday123]

OMG I would FREAK if I found out my mom posted stuff like this about me!

OP I know you just needed to vent, but it just isn't very respectful to be putting this out there, even if you really believe no one in your town has ever heard of Disney World. (Because if they have, and they are interested in going, then yeah, they've probably seen the Dis.)

That's what I was thinking. Everyones information is about 5 clicks away at all times. And posting your daughter is no longer "officially pure" like there's a committee that keeps track of it....not cool to any 17 year old I know.



But it is really good that she feels like she can tell you anything. I sure hope it continues.

 

[Mermaid02]

That's what I was thinking. Everyones information is about 5 clicks away at all times. And posting your daughter is no longer "officially pure" like there's a committee that keeps track of it....not cool to any 17 year old I know.



But it is really good that she feels like she can tell you anything. I sure hope it continues.

I didn't like that comment. So she's not a virgin anymore- is she a good person? Much more important in my book!

 

[cheermom1]

hmm - I don't know how I would have reacted to see my Mother post things like this. We didn't have the internet back in those days, I think that is a good thing in cases such as this. I guess it probably would have bothered me to see private conversations relayed to so many other people that I didn't even know.

OP I'm not sure what kind of help you are seeking. It honestly kind of bothers me to see any adult woman calling another person "unpure" over sex and then to also see you report that you told her you are disappointed in her. I'm in a grouchy mood this morning but .... you really don't think your daughter is unpure - right? Because if you do I suggest maybe you should seek some counseling with a professional because those are just not healthy feelings to have over another person choosing to follow biological instincts and forming physical relations with another person.

If you want my personal viewpoint on this good vs bad parenting has nothing to do with some arbitrary age cutoff date for when it is okay for a young woman to have sex. I'd be much more concerned over whether or not your daughter is making good choices in regards to forming healthy relationships with partners and maintaining her physical and mental health.

I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and guess that what you are feeling is sad and nostalgic of yet another sign that your daughter is maturing and as such your relationship with her will be changing from Mother/Young Child to Mother/Adult Woman.

I only said pure as a way of saying it better for the forum not for any other reason. I was only tring to make it dis friendly that is all sorry for the confusion on that.

I know that some have a different view and I'm ok with that. I did what I thought was what I should do. I posted b/c I needed to vent and b/c I needed to talk to someone and get a little advice as it is not a good thing to talk to my family just yet about this. thanks. Yes I am feeling sad she is growing up. I only had 2 kids and they are 17 and almost 16, they are growing up real fast and I am feeling a little empty nest right now.

 

[cheermom1]

Please ladies I didn;t mean to make anyone think I didn;t think she was unpure or anything. I was just trying to make it dis friendly is all. sorry about the confusion

 

[MerMom60_94]

I only said pure as a way of saying it better for the forum not for any other reason. I was only tring to make it dis friendly that is all sorry for the confusion on that.

I know that some have a different view and I'm ok with that. I did what I thought was what I should do. I posted b/c I needed to vent and b/c I needed to talk to someone and get a little advice as it is not a good thing to talk to my family just yet about this. thanks. Yes I am feeling sad she is growing up. I only had 2 kids and they are 17 and almost 16, they are growing up real fast and I am feeling a little empty nest right now.

I know. It's hard seeing them grow up and slowly break away, isn't it? Cheermom, obviously you and your DD are close and have a good relationship. Even though she is growing up, I'll bet that doesn't change. It's good she feels she can come to you.

 

[castmemberb4]

Nope not us thanks.

Thank You for verifying that Cheermom1.
I get so frustrated with the lecturers and people who don't really have anything to say about the subject.
Okay small vent over.

I'm with everyone else you're doing a fantastic job, wish our generations parents had been this open with us.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

If you think posting about this kind of stuff is secure, go have a conversation with MainStMandy- nothing... and I repeat NOTHING... on the internet is secure or truly anonymous.

I think your daughter would hesitate to be so open with you if she knew you were posting about her cherry picking adventures to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

 

[cheermom1]

Thank You for verifying that Cheermom1.
I get so frustrated with the lecturers and people who don't really have anything to say about the subject.
Okay small vent over.

I'm with everyone else you're doing a fantastic job, wish our generations parents had been this open with us.

Yep, I think we are all adults and most know what they are doing before they do things like this. I think we should treat each other with respect and if they choose to post what ever it is they chose to post they should be able to do so without it getting rubbed in their noses that they posted it. of course this is my opinion.

anyway thanks so much for the kind words and I hope everyone sees I didn't man anything my my unpure comment as I was only using it as a dis friendly word. i thought about posting virgin but that it may not be a good word to sue here. sorry about that.

 

[cheermom1]

Ok the posting info is not where I want this to go and is not the issue of this thread. I understand what everyone is saying but do I have to hear it from everyone? I got the point. now if we can kindly get back to the subject or just don;t post thank you. Not trying to be mean but I got the point, thanks. no need to keep bring it up.

 

[Luvchefmic]

If you think posting about this kind of stuff is secure, go have a conversation with MainStMandy- nothing... and I repeat NOTHING... on the internet is secure or truly anonymous.

I think your daughter would hesitate to be so open with you if she knew you were posting about her cherry picking adventures to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Whoa totally harsh & not very nice....give it a rest and move on please the OP did nothing wrong & if you are that worried paranoid what are YOU doing here ? No need to answer, just let it go okay?

 

[Luvchefmic]

Ok the posting info is not where I want this to go and is not the issue of this thread. I understand what everyone is saying but do I have to hear it from everyone? I got the point. now if we can kindly get back to the subject or just don;t post thank you. Not trying to be mean but I got the point, thanks. no need to keep bring it up.

 

[punkin]

If you think posting about this kind of stuff is secure, go have a conversation with MainStMandy- nothing... and I repeat NOTHING... on the internet is secure or truly anonymous.

I think your daughter would hesitate to be so open with you if she knew you were posting about her cherry picking adventures to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Who and what is MainStMandy?

Cheermom, I am glad you and your DD have such an open relationship.

 

[cheermom1]

Whoa totally harsh & not very nice....give it a rest and move on please the OP did nothing wrong & if you are that worried paranoid what are YOU doing here ? No need to answer, just let it go okay?

Thanks so much, you are so sweet. Like I said I get the point time to move on please.


I am feeling a little empty nest with both kids driving and both have a bf/gf and dating. Now this is dd and I just wanted a little encouragement and happy thoughts along with advise on how to get through this and make sure they are safe. Or if anyone has a similar situation and wanted to share anything that might help. Thanks to everyone for all the kind words that meant a lot.