I need a friend

[whtyger97]

It seems like I barely talk to any of my friends anymore, we just seem to drift apart. I have a blog and I posted a blog entry (see below) for me about I'm trying to get everything in order. Any my one friend posted back "Condo's don't clean themselves, Get a maid!" And worse yet I just feel like I can talk to anyone about it (besides my husband). I don't want to be one of the couples who live in their own little world and don't have any outside interests or friends. I need a friend.

"I've been mostly busy with work, I know working a from 8:00-4:45 shouldn't consume my whole day, but it mostly ends up doing so. I still need to get my personal life in order. The house is a mess, though it has days of being passibly clean. The longer I'm at my job the more I realize at some point I'm going to have to go back and get my degree, but I don't know how people do it.

I bought an exercise bike to try and shed a few pounds and gain some energy. Jim and I are getting the chimney fixed today and we preordered a wii. We also helped Jims mom out with some money towards a new computer. So while for the most part these aren't bad uses of money I'm starting to feel like we're bleeding money. I saw the checking account the other day and it was dangerously low (of course this is also because we moved a huge chuck from checking to savings earlier this year).

I keep reading these boards about budgeting money, but we do most of the things they tell you already. Every board tells you to get rid of high interest rate credit, and thats great advise, but what do you do when your savings account rate is higher then your student loan rate, and the only other loan you have is a mortgage? I know the answer is spend less, and the truth is we're doing fine but I still panic sometimes.

And worse then budgeting money is budgeting time. But no one really talks about that. Jims been wrapped up in a HUGE project at work, that unfortunately just got a whole lot huger (is that a word?). The good news is they have a deadline now, 12 days. I really need to set a schedule for house work and stay to it, but its so easy to put it off to the weekend and then never get to it. I really wanted a house when we bought this one, but I wonder if an condo wouldn't have been better for us."

 

[HappyLawyer]

sometimes people get busy, heck i just thought yesterday how i had not called my grandparents for almost 3 months. I have a good friend and we are both so busy i call her like every 3 weeks we understand each other, we used to talk every day but life does get in the way. I would not take it personal and besides, you can always post and talk here on the dis boards.

 

[whtyger97]

Thanks for replying HappyLawer. I'm just down this morning, the last time I talked to this friend in person I was going to take them to a baseball game (louge seats) but they got sick the day off. I'm just fusterated.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I've barely spoken to my friends in 4 years, and they just live in the next town. In July, I contacted them and I got emails and one phone call, but now I haven't heard from either of them since mid-August again. They're both teachers and they also are taking 2 classes toward their master's degrees, so I know they're really busy. But we've definitely grown apart. I could tell when I talked to the one on the phone.

I'm trying to make new friends now. It's not easy.

 

[tevagirl]

 

[Costumesaremylife]

I know what you mean. It seems like the people I talk to the most live the furthest away from me. My friends that live closer are harder to get in touch with.

I absolutely hate cleaning my house and it was a shambles. I find that the best and most amazing thing to do is to just start throwing things away (obviously stuff that you don't need) If you take one little spot and throw the crap away and organize it then you have that little spot that is nice to look at and then you want to do more. It may take a long time, but having one counter in the kitchen that is clean does make a difference.

 

[alldiz]

sometimes we just need to be heard to feel better...
I hear ya girlfriend

I hate cleaning my house.....i was lucky to have
the opportunity to work more....just to get
a housecleaner twice a month

dont feel bad....everyone gets absorbed in their
own lives......time really goes too fast

hope ya feel betta
Kerri

 

[chell]

 

[emily1982]

I'm 23 and i look around at what people around me are doing and i'm always thinking they've got loads of friends. I do have friends, but i would only say a couple i see regulary and probably not any really close friends who i can completley count on, but i am close to people at work so i speak to them when im there.
All the people i was close to, we've all kinda grew appart and got different lives, some went to university, some have partners and it's really sad but i suppose that's the way it goes.
I do look at my life though and think its probably quite dull compared to some peoples, i do understand though.

 

[dementia412]

I feel for you. I've moved so much that friends have been very difficult to keep. My best friend (and I still think of her as my best friend) and I haven't talked in maybe three years. We had gotten back in contact, but neither of us kept up the phone calls, and after a while we just gave up.
And the house... ha, you have no idea what a dirty/messy house is until you see mine. We have almost no funriture, so there is nowhere to put stuff. We have boxes filled and overflowing with clothes because there aren't enough drawers/closets in the house. Ack! I should be cleaning or doing my homework right now, but I'm sick of reading about Vasco da Gama and folding shirts.

 

[Sherri]

You always have us. I know its not the same, but were always willing to listen and give advice.
Most people have a hard time orginizing their time. Things will get better.
Take it one day at a time.

 

[willis37862]

I lost touch with most of my close friends when I got married 4 years ago...they didn't want to hang out with a married couple . Then working and just taking care of life theres not much time to go out and make new friends and then the time and energy to keep the friendships up....At least I have some dis friends...

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I'm sorry about how you are feeling. Because I moved across the country from where I grew up, the only friends I have are the ones I work with. If you are not close to anyone at work, maybe you should look into some kind of activity that you enjoy. There are lots of different classes at community centers that seem fun, like ceramics, computer, decorating, faux painting, etc. Maybe if you took a fun class, you would meet people that had the same interests as you do.
I know what you mean about the house cleaning. I work all week and usually spend time on the weekends cleaning house, which is the last thing I want to do on my days off! I have found that it is easier if I break it down. Like, one day during the week I will clean all of the bathrooms. Another day I will just do laundry. Then I will vacuum and sweep another day. It is usually much easier to do just one thing, then spend 3 or 4 hours constantly cleaning.

You also mentioned getting your degree. I think it is a great idea. The sooner you can do that, the easier it will be. As life goes on, it just gets harder and harder to make time for school. Many of my coworkers got their degrees while working for our company. A couple of them did so with online schools and some of them attended local colleges with night classes. If you did something like that, you would also be able to meet so many people and make some new friends.

 

[momx2]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like I have no friends. My best friend and I usually see each other about once every 2 years. We email about every few months and speak on the phone about once or twice a year. But I know she would be here in a minute if I needed her and vice versa. In my everyday life it's just me and DH and the kids. Full time jobs and no time for anyone else. Don't feel like you're the only one.

 

[minniecarousel]

Yup - even us old married couples haven't mastered time management! I was just thinking of a book I bought a million years ago - it was called "Side-Tracked Home Exectives" and these stay-at-home Moms had a whole system of index cards for keeping up with the cleaning and other household chores. It was a little time-consuming to set up (really - one index card for daily bed-making!?) But I liked the idea and adapted it as a list. Say on Mondays, change sheets; Tuesdays & Thursdays do one load of laundry, Wednesdays, dust and vacuum....stuff like that. Of course keeping up with the daily stuff like dishes (don't let them sit around, except if soaking something off a pot!)

So the keeping up with the house can be done. (hehe - I've got that one solved by having bi-weekly cleaners come in!). It takes a lot more effort to stay in touch with friends. I see my two sisters every Saturday morning & ususally we have a meal with our grown sons and their fiancees once a week. But it takes a great deal of effort for DH & I to make plans with our friends. I only work half-time and still don't feel like I have enough times for other stuff!

Hang in there!

 

[twinklebug]

Sounds like you need a serious massage & bubble bath to relive the stress.

Friendship wise I'm right there with ya. My best friend decided to cut me out of her life when she was on her way to becoming a doctor - guess I just wasn't good enough. I've always been afraid of getting too close to people, can't tell you why though. And now the person who I thought was my best friend, DH, moved out and 2 weeks later has told me "its over" when I pressed him to talk.

I think getting involved with the school system would be a good start. Problem is those middle school kids can get nasty.

 

[disykat]

I doubt she met anything bad by her comment at all. It was just so brief that it's meaning probably wasn't clear. IMO opinion she could have easily meant "You know what, even a condo would have to be cleaned. Don't be so hard on yourself. Enjoy your house and treat yourself by getting a maid. You deserve it!"

It's hard when you feel you're losing touch with good friends.