I love my parents DEARLY but I can NEVER visit them again...here's why....

[anniet]

I'm wondering if anyone has a similar problem to mine. I went to visit my parents today and here is how my day went.

I could feel it coming, I knew it was going to happen so I prepared by eating a very filling 2 pt oatmeal for breakfast. I told my Mom I'd be over around Noon when we spoke on the phone yesterday and I knew the next words out of her mouth would be "Are you staying for dinner?" Saying No to dinner to two Italian parents is like saying I don't love you and I'm ungrateful for all you have ever done for me. I figure I'm pushing my luck by staying unmarried and childless well into my thirties, so I am guilted into it. "Okay, Mom, I'll stay for dinner."

So I have my oatmeal, take my shower, drink quite a few large glasses of water before I leave my apartment (You know, to bloat up the oatmeal) and I get to my parents house at 11:00am. I walk through the front door, and I don't know why, but it's always like walking through a Way Back Machine, and somehow I am a skinny 10 year old all over again walking into the house I grew up in. My mother is sitting on the couch reading a book and in the kitchen I see my Dad, standing at the stove with a frying pan on one burner and a large pot that would be big enough to steam a dozen or more lobsters on the other. He's cooking meatballs. And sausages. And hamhocks. And beef ribs. I know this scene all too well...he's making a sauce. Well not a sauce actually more like 15 gallons of sauce. And so it starts....

"I've saved you some meatballs" He says. I try to mimic a surprised look. It goes on from there.....I won't bore you with the events of the entire day, but let me just say about 10 meatballs, 2 sausages, 5 stuffed shells, one cup of pecan praline icecream and 2 puff pastry cookies my mother picked up from God knows what delicious little bakery later....Well, I went way the heck over my points!!!!!!!!!!

I escaped to the sound of my father's voice saying "Are you sure you won't stay for apple crumb pie and vanilla ice cream?"

Please, I know I was the one who ate it all, but unless you have an Italian family, you will never understand the power and connection of food and love. It makes you helpless.

I love them, I love them, I love them. It's too bad I can NEVER go visit them again!

 

[AlreadyexcitedGrammy]

now A-
In my opinion there are just some things that take precedence. And, yes, that would be your parents love - can't ever think of a time my dad cooked (you are so lucky!) okay, so I know you are too full to think clearly right now - but .............it sounds like your parents only know one way to relate just how much they love you - which is by the amount of food they make and the amount that you eat. You are right, I don't really get the heritage/food thing, but I work with someone from the country of Lebanon and her mom can be on her "death bed" and she makes all kinds of and loads of food, for those who come to see her because she is ill !!! So I am relating some to her and to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding familyand my favorite books by Janet Evanovich (have you read those, with Stephanie Plum?). Sounds like your Italian family is just one that loves you so much!!! Now would be the time to smile and agree.

Now, you need to face that you won't change them and they are just doing what they think good parents would do! (Am I right?) so time to be thinking that you might not get to visit for awhile again but oh gosh never - what would your dad do, if he thought you would never taste some of that scrumptious sounding stuff again? And, let me tell you, I think that you would have a bigger problem on your hands if he wasn't busy and couldn't cook, and he just thought that you needed to take care of him!! So, eating all that he makes may be a sacrifice to your WW point counting, but right now I am thinking I am so glad that you aren't doing your WI on Monday - just think that you have until Friday to let all that food go away and by the way I think your Dad and Mom sound like very special people!!

Okay - I am wondering are there Rolaids in the picture tonight too?

Sending lots of {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} your way and it will be okay - tomorrow is another day!! And, you turned down that yummy tasing dessert...........good for you I'm sure I would have opted for that as well

PD on its way too!!!!

 

[ohMom]

annie, oh annie, I'll commisserate with you!

Again this weekend I blew it! Oh dear, do I feel like I can get away with it b/c my buddy is in England; no, not really I have a wonderful buddy circle and a dear friend filling in for my buddy -- so I guess i'll just have to blame myself!

Let's just say - neighborhood cookout - really yummy hot artichoke dip with regular tortillas! My stomach hurts! Not just full it hurts! Of course those chips were lonely in their unfamiliar surroundings so I sent some BBQ friends to join them, topped with a little dip and a couple beers! oops!

And after I did soooo well last night!

Oh well, I think we're both in the same boat that these are social situations that we are going to be facing again. Let's make a pact to do better next time. And remember how bad it feels when we overindulge!

Remember when we used to do this ALL the time! yikes!

OK, buddy, tomorrow is a new day! and we're OP together!
hugs to you my friend

 

[ahutton]

First, remember we take each day as it comes - the good and bad. And a bad afternoon does not have to ruin your week. If you've ever seen the "Wendy Plan" on WW it involves days of high and low points intake and has helped a ton of people keep their weight loss moving. Any chance you can take today and spin it into a great week?

Remember that we are in this for life. And that will involve visiting well meaning family members who encourage each other to continue bad habits that got many of us here in the first place.

 

[lmhall2000]

well, sort of. I didn't have the good fortune to be born to Italian parents- I always dreamed of marrying an Italian who could cook for me- (married a very pale but precious typical American smorgasbord ethnicity) but it's NOT limited to Italians!! Granted you do meatballs and loads of sauce- well let me help you feel better- we southerners (everyone in my family was born in Alabama!) do breakfast!!! Here's my mother's Sunday morning breakfast... In a skillet- fry your bacon, in another skillet, fry your sausage. Forget about pouring out the grease- you need that to top your homemade buttermilk/shortening biscuits with before you bake them, and you need a pond of oil for the scrambled eggs to bathe in as they simmer and become a well blended mix of bacon grease and what used to be a healthy egg. And the sausage grease- well of course that is needed for the sausage milk gravy. And don't forget to dress the table without grandma's famous pear preserves- those poor pears didn't have a chance they were embalmed with pure cane sugar. Oops, don't forget the grits- why let's just put a stick of butter to cream them up some- and some nice cheddar cheese on top. Wait, the biscuits are done- quick slice them open and put a tablespoon of butter in each one before you slap a cup of gravy on them- or those pear preserves. And who needs coffee- a big glass of sweet iced tea will make this a well rounded meal. I love them dearly and am so grateful for the love and homey place they share- so I'll gladly indulge in that Sunday breakfast- but I have to limit it to twice a year!!
Families are wonderful- and I can just hear my children 20 years from now- "My mother has never bought white bread- can you believe that??"
Thanks for the Italian feast- we've all got something like that- and it's nice to see we're not alone!!
Tara

 

[karebear1]

Sounds to me like you need to switch your eating plan to Atkins when you go home!!! It would work great with that.

How fortunate you are to have 2 loving wonderful parents - and how fortuante they are to have a loving daughter who will bend her normal eating habits to make sure that they understand, in their language , that she loves them beyond words (and food!!!)

FAMILY! There's nothing like it!

Annie- can I get your dads recipe for meatballs??? Really!!! I want it! They sound so good to me!!!!!

 

[Liz]

Oh dear, but your post did make me smile! I can imagine how hard that must be! Definitely don't have that problem at my mom's house because everything in her cupboards/fridge are fat free & sugar free. She's obsessed and it drove her crazy all the years of me eating anything and everything.

There was a lady at our WW meeting who ate 50 pts. on Mothers day and still came in with a good loss. So hang in there! Being with your family was a good thing. I was thinking the same thing as karebear, that too bad you aren't doing Atkins with all those meats!!!

Good luck!

 

[Bichon Barb]

Anniet, being a Syracusan, I know your pain. Almost all of the friends that I grew up with have last names which end in a vowel. And I have such fond memories of walking into their houses when I was a kid and smelling that wonderful smell. Ahhhhhhhhh. One mom was from Sicily. She was the greatest. When you walked into the door, she didn't ASK you to stay for dinner. She TOLD you you were staying for dinner. "Barbara--sit down--you eata some linguini, no? No, you eat HERE! Now sit down!" We were all afraid of her .

One of my best friends dad owns a fine Italian restaurant two miles down the street from me. LOVE IT! The friend just had her daughter's first birthday party there. Cake and ice cream? Yeah right. Here's the menu (this was lunch served family style): Fried calamari, sliced tomatoes and fresh mozzarella, antipasto, garlic pizza, Italian bread, (by this point I was full), chicken rigi, braciole (sp?), roasted potatoes and sausage, chicken, and chicken tenders and fries for the little ones in case they didn't like the adult food.

My parents both are from Germany. Although my mom is a great cook and always makes too much food, there just is no comparison.

 

[anniet]

Thanks for the support everyone. I'm so glad to know I am not alone!!!

Don't worry, I'll go back and visit Mom and Dad sometime....maybe when I'm closer to goal!

 

[Disneyaholic]

I can totally relate. Only in my case, my Slovak mother was here visiting for almost two weeks...

And even though it's MY house, and my mother really didn't do much cooking or meal planning, it was still a flashback.

Add to that DD's graduation from high school on Saturday, the party we had on Sunday, and you have a full-fledged disaster!

Took my mother to the airport yesterday morning, and DH is out on business for a while now, so hopefully my willpower will move back in to fill the empty spaces, LOL!!

 

[FantasticDisFamily]

Love 'em and eat occasionally. The rest of the time - you stay on plan. Chalk it up to one day, don't make it a habit and you'll be fine.

Any chance that as they see their skinny daughter emerging again they might let you get away with eating just a little less - you know half a cookie instead of 2?

I hadn't seen most of my extended family since Christmas before I attended a bridal shower for not 1 but 2 cousins! Talk about a spread and so much of it was those foods from childhood that you just never get anymore because it takes one of the aunts who knows how to make the recipe work to make it. But they all saw the loss and (our heritage is Dutch so we tend to carry weight as a natural thing) when I only put tiny bits of all that yummy stuff on my plate several pairs of eyes and mouths started to open. But BLESS HER my aunt (mother of the bride) had sat down next to me and said - "enough, leave her be. She loses it now, she won't be fighting to look like something other than the Goodyear Blimp when HER daughter is getting married."

She is the "youngest" aunt of the group but that stopped it. GOOD LUCK!

OMG - a member of our faculty was just in here trying to entice me with homemade brownies. Good thing I had my fingers occupied on these keys! They couldn't reach for the goody!

Deb