I love my daughter.

[Mom21]

I must admit I have had a hard time really appreciating my dd. I have always loved her of course, but appreciation has been a long time in coming. She is a bit different to say the least. She is highly intelligent, but it frustrated me that she couldn't remember to brush her teeth or make her bed. Or that she was messy and as she walked through the house it was like a tornado. She always has food on her mouth or on her shirt. I would get angry when she could do A squared plus B squared = c squared , but couldn't seem to do simple addition or subtraction.

Finally I realized she is what she is. Why couldn't I have made this revelation years ago for my dd's sake? I have this brilliant child that is funny (she has a wonderful sense of humor), extremely bright, never (and I mean NEVER) lies, is kind, loves people, and can be very kind. I love my dd. She is a wonderful person.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I always feel bad when I read mom/daughter threads like this.

If it helps, my mom (who I am great friends with now) still tells stories of how horrible my teen years were with her. She said we fought all the time and didn't get along,.....I don't remember it that way!! In fact, I always tell people it was fine!!

So don't worry, if your daughter is like me, she'll only have good memories of her mom!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

How old is she now? You gave a perfect description of my 15yo son. Sometimes I shake my head wondering why he doesn't use the half a brain he appears to have, but then other times I'm stunned by his cleverness and intelligence. Looking at the big picture he's a great kid--the trick is to not get bogged down with the negatives.

 

[Dan Murphy]

 

[dmslush]

Gosh, you have described my dd to a T. She is smart, messy, nerve racking. It is like she has an old soul and has never been a child. She was walking by 9 months, talking in complete sentences by 1 year. She was writing plays in 1st grade and reading Poe by 4th grade. Now as a 14 year old, she has all of the other issues that any teen has, but seems to carry the burden a lot heavier than I remember carrying it. She seems to quick to make decisions that are life altering IMO. I just wish she could enjoy being a kid without having to make life defining statements.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Have you ever had your daughter evaluated?
Their may be real answers for her peculiarities. And these answers would bring understanding.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

Have you ever heard of the Meyers-Briggs or Kiersey Temperament sorter? They are personality "categories" that can be so helpful in understanding why people do things they way they do and why styles are so different. It isn't about putting someone in a box or labeling them (although it has been abused in that way). There's a graet book called "Nurture by Nature" (I think I'm remembering that title correctly) that talks about how to figure out your child's personality type and how that relates to you and your interactions with her/him.

There's a ton of books about it at all levels - I now use one called "The Art of Speedreading People" whenever I start a new job or get involved with a new group. It really helps me to respect and appreciate people for who they are and not get frustrated when they don't do things or see things "my way".

This made a huge difference for my family!! Both of my parents are "J"'s (Judgers) while my DB and I are both "P"'s (Percievers). J's are concerned time, order, etc. while P's are "go with the flow" people. Used to drive my parents nuts that neither DB nor I had the slightest awareness of time, but when we all started learning about the Meyers-Briggs it helped us understand each other and learn to appreciate each other.

I'm so glad that you have learned to appreciate your daughter right now - may your relationship with her continue to grow and deepen!

 

[luv2nascar]

I hope you share that sentiment with your daughter. It might really benefit her to hear that from you now.

** I'm a mother to two daughters now but I have been a daughter a lot longer. My mother doesn't really accept or understand me fully??? I would kill to hear my mother say what you said and mean it.

 

[lunchmomd]

Wow! What I wouldn't have given to hear my mother say something, anything, remotely like that about me at that age. I grew up hearing how lacking I was - lots of "if only" comments. But, I can honestly say that now we have a pretty good relationship. And, if nothing else, I learned from my mother how I would never treat my children. And I didn't. So, here's to you. Your daughter is a very lucky girl.

 

[HOGFAN]

I know what you mean. I always felt like my daughter and I didnt "connect" until the last 4-5 years. Now we are best of friends.