In my fantasy world where you look like this guy even though your a millennial. Plus, you said you are a self proclaimed cheapskate. Therefore, you don't have a Honda. Your father, a fellow GenXer, gave you his Chevy Malibu that he had in high school which you still have. It's part of your FIRE plan.
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I've got the coat, the bow and arrows and the boom box. If I'm out in public, I'm supposed to be wearing a mask. Running amok masked and armed is likely gonna get me arrested. Still waiting on your Mailibu!