I know my DD loves her job, but I HATE it!

[C.Ann]

As many of you know, she works in a residential group home for troubled teenage girls.. Well just last week she was given a promotion and made the manager of a new substance abuse unit that they've recently created..

She had to be to work at 7:30 this morning and was supposed to leave at 6:30 this evening.. Just before she was about to leave, there was a problem with one of the residents and my DD had to perform a restraint.. Well - it didn't go so well and she's at the hospital now.. The only thing I know for sure is that she was bitten and the skin was broken (don't know where) and she may have some other injuries.. Now I'm sitting here waiting for them to get home to find out what the rest of the story is..

I hate her working there - but she absolutely loves it.. It's been over 10 years now and I will never understand how she can put up with that abuse, but as she says, "Well if I don't do it, who will?"

Anyone else have an adult child that works in a situation where injuries occur on a fairly regular basis? And if so, how do you deal with it?

I'm still a "Mommy" that doesn't want to see her "baby" get hurt.. Some things never change, do they?

 

[Nancy]

Well I used to work overnights at the grocery store and I was robbed at gun point. My Mom didn't know until the next day. DH knew 5 minutes after it happened because I had to go to the police station and all that good stuff. Neither one was too happy with me continuing to work overnights, but I lasted for 5 years with no more major problems. (minor ones, but no more gunpoint incidents).

 

[mommaU4]

My kids are still little so I have no real advice as far as that goes. But I just wanted to say that I think you're right. Whether they are 5 or 35 I don't think parents ever stop being parents and worrying about their "babies".

I think the work your DD does is very admirable and I know that despite your worry I bet you are also extremely proud. She doing a good thing and will probably make a real difference in alot of people's lives.

She's lucky to have a caring mom like you and your lucky to have such a compassionate daughter.

I hope she is doing alright. Let us know.

 

[ckret01]

My sister used to work for Mentally disabled adult home and would come home with bruises, bites that broke through the skin, got her wrist wrapped up in a sling, got pinned to the floor and almost straggled from one of the patients etc. She used to try to hide it from me and my mom b/c we would get so upset to see her physically hurt from her job. It just wasn't right. But she loved what she did and would get very defensive if we tried to talk her out of quiting. After a while we stopped pushing her to find a new job and she eventually got a new one.

What's sad is that someone has to do this job or these people would have no one. Hang in there!

 

[gr8tpanther]

I HAVE one of those abusive children, so I KNOW what your DD goes through! And I only have ONE! But on any given day, I can get hit, kicked, bitten, cussed at, spit at, you name it, I have been there/done that! Not fun! There is NO WAY I would do that willingly!

 

[N.Bailey]

I hope I'm able to take my own advice when if I'm ever in your situation, but IMO finding true happiness in life should be the main goal for us all. If this is what your daughter enjoys, I think you should be happy that she's found her niche' in the world.

I do hope that you get good news though and I hope it's nothing serious.

 

[N.Bailey]

Well I used to work overnights at the grocery store and I was robbed at gun point. My Mom didn't know until the next day. DH knew 5 minutes after it happened because I had to go to the police station and all that good stuff. Neither one was too happy with me continuing to work overnights, but I lasted for 5 years with no more major problems. (minor ones, but no more gunpoint incidents).

One time when I was waiting tables, a good friend of mine switched zones with me for the night because I had to get out of there as early as possible. About a half hour after I left, a guy came into the restaurant and at gun point demanded all employees go into the office and he forced them to lay on the concrete in there. He robbed the place and then tied em all up and left. Thank God no one was hurt. My friend refused to ever trade with me again after that.

 

[N.Bailey]

I HAVE one of those abusive children, so I KNOW what your DD goes through! And I only have ONE! But on any given day, I can get hit, kicked, bitten, cussed at, spit at, you name it, I have been there/done that! Not fun! There is NO WAY I would do that willingly!

Maybe I'm just not understanding your post, but are you saying your child treats you this way?

 

[Disney Doll]

Unfortunately, health care today has become a dangerous job. A couple of months ago, wehad the police called to our unit 3 times within the course of one week to deal with 3 different patients who got completely out of hand. One of them had to be maced in order to be restrained.

Truthfully, the older I get, the less I want to "wrestle" with unruly patients...and yes, I know they're sick, and yes, I know they can't help themselves, but it doesn't mean I have to like to do it. It gets a little old after a while, and it seems like there is less and less "proper" public behavior from people.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My mom works on an Alzheimers wing in a nursing home. She is 68. The things she has to do makes my hair curl.

 

[gr8tpanther]

Maybe I'm just not understanding your post, but are you saying your child treats you this way?

Yup she does, and that is on a GOOD day!! I couldn't IMAGINE working with more than her!

 

[Mimi Q]

 

[Pooh67_68]

C.Ann
Has your daughter taken defensive courses to protect herself? I have a cousin who works with troubled teens and adults (mostly drug addicts some mentally changelled) and after getting injured more than once her husband (he is a cop) taught her how to protect herself.

 

[MsDisney23]

 

[C.Ann]

C.Ann
Has your daughter taken defensive courses to protect herself? I have a cousin who works with troubled teens and adults (mostly drug addicts some mentally changelled) and after getting injured more than once her husband (he is a cop) taught her how to protect herself.

--------------------------

Yes - she's had to take TCI training as part of her employment - but during restraints (which are required to prevent escape or injury to others) she's wide open to injury because by state law, there are only certain methods that can be used during the restraints..

The good news this morning is the only injury is the bite.. The bad news is this new resident "claims" to have been diagnosed with Hepatitis C a week ago, so my DD will have to undergo a series of blood tests at various intervals to be sure that she didn't contract the disease herself from the bite.. The doctor from infectious control that treated her last night at the hospital also indicated that this might cause a second flare up of the shingles she just got over not too long ago.. She's on antibiotics and the girl in question is being arraigned this morning on assault charges.. Hopefully this girl will NOT be returning to this institution - or my DD's unit!

I really do hate that job...

 

[Marseeya]

Yup she does, and that is on a GOOD day!! I couldn't IMAGINE working with more than her!

I can relate on a less extreme scale with my own DS. I can't imagine how much worse it would be if he were to get physically violent.

 

[HoneyPooh]

My DH has worked in a home for the mentally handicapped for more than 25 years. Off the top of my head....all of his fingers have been broken, he's been bitten so many times I can't remember how many, he's had stitches about 10 times, he's had a guy ram him in the back with his head so now he has back problems, he's been scratched, spit on, had feces thrown at him, he's had so much bloodwork it's a wonder he doesn't have to have transfusions.... I could go on an on, but DH loves his job and loves the clients and understands them very well. He's been trained to control a client that is "going off" without hurting the client and with the least possible injury to himself but lots of times the client is bigger than DH and they can be VERY strong. It takes special people to take the risks they do to help someone. Your daughter sounds like she's happy to be one of those special people. Kudos to her and I hope she doesn't have hep.

 

[cats7494]

Well - considering I worked in a similar environment for 8 years and loved it..I understand where your daughter is coming from and I applaud her for sticking it out! There is such a great need for compassionate people in those kinds of environments...not all staff members are very good to be honest.

But as a mom - I do understand your concerns. Just keep her in your thoughts and prayers and know she is truly helping another person who is in a lot of pain!

Best of wishes to you mom!

 

[susan514]

My DD, who is 24, is currently doing a practicum for her Masters degree in Clinical Psych. During her first week, she was walking with the Dr. on his rounds of the Altzhiemers floor, when a 66 yr old man, about 6'4" and weighing 250, came charging up to her, screaming and yelling and going to grab her by the throat. She is 5'4" and weighs about 115, not exactly a fair fight. She stood her ground with him and the Dr. stepped between them, after she was able to talk to him, asking him certain questions to calm him.

The Dr., after this, congratulated her for doing the right thing and then suggested that they up the meds.

Rather then frightening her, it stimulated her, go figure. All I said was maybe she should get some self-defense training. I was really shakened to hear the story but this is what she wants to do and loves to do.

 

[Pooh67_68]

--------------------------

Yes - she's had to take TCI training as part of her employment - but during restraints (which are required to prevent escape or injury to others) she's wide open to injury because by state law, there are only certain methods that can be used during the restraints..

The good news this morning is the only injury is the bite.. The bad news is this new resident "claims" to have been diagnosed with Hepatitis C a week ago, so my DD will have to undergo a series of blood tests at various intervals to be sure that she didn't contract the disease herself from the bite.. The doctor from infectious control that treated her last night at the hospital also indicated that this might cause a second flare up of the shingles she just got over not too long ago.. She's on antibiotics and the girl in question is being arraigned this morning on assault charges.. Hopefully this girl will NOT be returning to this institution - or my DD's unit!

I really do hate that job...

Hoping that each time her blood results come back they are negative.