i just need to vent

LCoulter

Whoah Mouse
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Kitty is doing well. She walks stiffly but is getting around and back to her normal routines.

I wish I could say the same for DMIL. She had a few good days last week but is back to not doing well. Still I know it's not as bad as what's to come. She still manages to get around, including down the stairs but she sleeps a lot and looks awful at times.

We are planning a family gathering in a month but am worried that maybe that isn't soon enough. We wanted to give everyone enough notice and we have things we need to get done around the house. Also, DH is starting that new job in a few weeks and will be traveling those two weeks before the gathering.
 

mommasita

DIS VETERAN
Moderator
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Sorry your mil isn't doing that well. Lots of love and strength to you and the family

Good luck to Dh in his new job
 

LCoulter

Whoah Mouse
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
DMIL has had a few really good days. She looks better and is eating well so she is stronger. I think it's because the chemo has worn off since it has been a few weeks since her last treatment. She goes on Monday for a treatment but it isn't going to involve chemo. They are giving her a drug and fluids but I'm not sure what the drug is for.

My SIL and family are coming to visit this weekend. Hopefully it goes well. That family just stresses us out because their lifestyle is so different from ours and they bring drama. Hopefully they don't stress out DMIL too much, but they usually do.
 
  • LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    DMIL has had a few good weeks which is great!

    The visit with her daughters family went well. They stayed for two nights but we were glad when they were gone. The drama was kept at a minimum.

    Now I am trying to get the house ready for a big family gathering on July 10....25-30 people. All DMIL's family. Her daughters family is coming again for 2-3 nights. I usually do all the cooking for the family gatherings because I hate to delegate but the rest of the family insisted on helping out so I don't have as many dishes to make for this gathering which is good.

    Kitty is doing well but now dog is sick again so I have to call vet. The animals are killing me this year with vet bills.:worried:
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    Family Reunion went very well and DMIL felt good but exhausted. She enjoyed seeing everyone and there were a few that came that she hasn't seen in many many years because they don't typically come to family parties.

    I'm glad to have the gathering behind us since I just get too nervous entertaining. Food was fantastic though...I do get compliments on that. There is soooo much left over though so I am freezing portions of it and took the pasta salad to work to share.

    DH's new job is going well but he is still in the training phase. He is really excited about working for Microsoft. His previous company was big but it's one that know one has ever heard of and it is ranked one of the top worst companies to work for.

    Kitty is doing well. I am so glad we didn't put her down just yet. We probably won't have her much longer with her but she seems happy so it's good to still be able to cuddle with her.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    Glad things seem to be going well. How are you holding up in all of this
    I'm doing ok...just worried about her. DMIL has been feeling good for over a month now. She is eating well but is just more tired than usual. Since she stopped chemo, she is feeling better. It's about quality of life now. Her husband went in 7 months after it went to his liver. I'm happy she is feeling good for the summer and hopefully it will be a nice fall for her too.
     
  • mommasita

    DIS VETERAN
    Moderator
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2004
    :hug:I am glad you are doing ok. I hope so as well. Continued good thoughts to you all.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    DMIL is still feeling pretty good. Mostly just tired all the time. She got a bit of good news.....the spots on liver are smaller with her treatment which isn't chemo and she is handling fine. However, the large tumor on her pelvis area is getting bigger. Doc said the only treatment for that is radiation which he is not recommending since it is so harsh and she wants quality of life.

    She is eating well and gets out to store with me once a week and very occasionally we can convince her to go to a restaurant.

    She has been handling watching DD9 just fine on the weeks that DH is out of town. DD at 9 is pretty self sufficient now and will help her grandmother out with whatever she needs.

    School starts soon and the only problem at this point is when DH is out of town and DD getting on the bus in the morning. DMIL used to be an early riser....5am or earlier but now she sleeps in much later so we need to decide what to do on weeks that DH is away. I think I may adjust my work schedule so I can see DD off on the bus. My boss has told me several times that they will work with me any way I need. I think she may be worried about losing me to staying home with DMIL instead of working.

    We have another new girl at work who is much more pleasant than the last but she is not catching on. This was her third week, she is older late 40ish with office experience, yet I can't get through to her what our job numbers and account numbers look like. She struggles to tell the difference between packing lists and invoices. The reason why we are trying to make it work is that the president has worked with her and highly recommended her. We are afraid he won't believe us that she has some sort of issue since he and my boss don't see eye to eye.

    Next week, I am writing detailed notes for her to see if that helps. It's really weird writing detailed notes for a late fortyish woman. We are desparate since we have been without someone in this position for 3 months. My boss and are falling behind on our own jobs trying to cover that position.
     

    mommasita

    DIS VETERAN
    Moderator
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2004
    How did back to school go?


    That sounds exhausting with the new lady, but I'm a year in myself after taking 6 off and I know they had to have A LOT of patience with me.


    How is MIL?
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    The start of school went well but after summer vacation, it's a bit of an adjustment for DD.

    I'm happy to say that DMIL is still feeling well, mostly just tired. She naps in the morning and afternoon which is unlike her healthy self. She goes for a non-chemo treatment every other week still but it doesn't make her really sick like chemo did. She has lost all her hair though but at least she has felt good all summer. Her hair loss has been a slow process so we hardly noticed but some insensitive idiot must have said something so she is suddenly self conscious about it. She doesn't like the idea of a wig because they are uncomfortable to her so she picked out a couple of hats at the store in chemo center and I bought her a couple on Amazon that should arrive in a few days. If nothing else, they will help keep her warm since she is always cold for the past few years because of the treatments and cancer.

    She goes for another MRI next month.
     
  • mommasita

    DIS VETERAN
    Moderator
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2004
    Poor thing. Some people have no filter. Hopefully the hats make her feel a little better and like you say keep her warm. VERY glad she is feeling well!!!!!!!! Thinking good thoughts for the MRI.
    Keeping your entire family and DD in my thoughts
     

    ajc

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Nov 16, 2011
    Oh no! Your poor kitty {{hugs}}. You have quite enough on your plate without this too. I have had to help a number of pets over the Rainbow Bridge and it is always an extremely hard decision. I would ask your DD if she wants to be there when you put your kitty to sleep, or at the very least let her say 'goodbye' on her own.

    ETA: this may sound strange, but you may also want to talk to you DD about how we deal with end of life in animals v/s humans. She's only 9 and sometimes kids that age can get mixed up on things. Your DMIL is going through treatment and fighting her cancer but you don't want your DD to make a weird mental leap between what is best for your kitty and what's best for her grandmother.
    As a small animal veterinarian, I recommend a book for the younger set titled "The Tenth Best Thing About Barney". It sometimes helps to plan a memorial garden with a hand made stone in memory of the pet.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    We had to have our kitty put down on Saturday. She had another stroke and just could not use her back legs anymore. She also stopped eating and drinking so we knew it was time. We miss her terribly. DD is handling it better than I thought she would. We are thankful that we had these last months with her.

    DMIL started a new treatment last month and it was a rough start with it. She takes the drug daily for three weeks, then had a week off. She started back up on it a few days ago and it hit her even harder. She could not keep anything down, not even a sip of water. At 4am Saturday morning we called the ambulance. She was severely dehydrated and potassium, salts, electrolytes were very low. She was in hospital two nights and sees her doctor next week to discuss what to do next since this treatment is making her too sick to function. She is back home and is still recovering.

    It was a rough weekend. Thanksgiving was quiet.
     

    Joyce_Belle

    Fairy at dawn, princess by day, mermaid by night.
    Joined
    Apr 27, 2011
    I randomly stumbled upon this topic.. I'm so sorry about your kitty and your DMIL. It must be hard on you. Stay strong! :flower2:
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    DMIL is just not getting her strength back since she was sick last month. She has really aged a lot over the past month. She is still getting around but she is very weak and the pain has started. She had a good summer at least but I think this may be the downward spiral that we have been worrying about. She is trying the chemo drugs again as of a few days ago and she is doing fine so far on it. The doctor doesn't think it was the chemo drug that made her so sick last time....he thinks she got a stomach bug so that's why she is trying the drug again.

    Her grand daughter (our niece) has been helping DMIL a lot over the past few weeks since DH and I are both working.
     

    Suprize2017

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Dec 9, 2016
    I just found this thread. You've had a lot going on. I hope the jobs have continued to go well for DH and yourself. Did the new gal get things figured out finally? How is your DD doing now that it has to be obvious that her grandmother isn't doing well? I'm so sorry about your kitty. Its never easy to lose our pets. They are such a big part of our lives. How is your DMIL doing? It's been about six weeks since your last post, so I'm kind of afraid to ask. I lost my step-dad (he was my dad in my heart) to esophageal cancer 2.5 years ago. It's such a miserable disease and so hard to watch your loved one battle. How are you and DH doing? You've had a lot of stress, I hope you both have been able to lean on each other and find support in each other.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    I just found this thread. You've had a lot going on. I hope the jobs have continued to go well for DH and yourself. Did the new gal get things figured out finally? How is your DD doing now that it has to be obvious that her grandmother isn't doing well? I'm so sorry about your kitty. Its never easy to lose our pets. They are such a big part of our lives. How is your DMIL doing? It's been about six weeks since your last post, so I'm kind of afraid to ask. I lost my step-dad (he was my dad in my heart) to esophageal cancer 2.5 years ago. It's such a miserable disease and so hard to watch your loved one battle. How are you and DH doing? You've had a lot of stress, I hope you both have been able to lean on each other and find support in each other.
    Thanks for asking. This week DMIL is on a two week period off the chemo and is feeling pretty good which she hasn't felt that good in months. The chemo is being used to prolong life. She is still getting around which is good. Her tumor has doubled in size. We are in the process of setting up a downstairs bedroom and bought a twin adjustable bed for DMIL to use in the smaller bedroom that won't take her king bed.

    Our 18 year old cat that had the stroke passed away a few months ago....miss her terribly. She stopped eating and drinking so it was time to put her asleep. This past weekend, we found out that our 17 year old cat has kidney failure so we are treating that with fluids.

    DH is having a tough time adjusting to traveling most of the time...as are we. The woman at work is doing better but she is sooooo slow so she will never have all the tasks from the job....all the things that she doesn't have time for have been divided up between our boss, me and the receptionist. She is also very inaccurate. She is a very fast typist....just not accurate at it. Luckily my boss seems to have a photographic memory for vendor invoices so she seems to catch a lot of mistakes when she is paying bills. Any procedure changes have to be repeated about 12 times before they start to sink in which is frustrating. She is pleasant person though.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    DD9 is handling things pretty well. She hasn't been told outright yet that Grandma is dying but she is smart and I think she knows. She has been trying to spend time reading to Grandma.
     

    LCoulter

    Whoah Mouse
    Joined
    Nov 9, 2008
    We knew the end was approaching but we didn't expect it to end so suddenly. Last week DMIL was eating well, still getting around ok, then on Saturday afternoon she was having trouble breathing. She didn't want to call doctor or go to hospital. We convinced her to let us call the doctor and they told us to call 911 and have them take her to emergency. She didn't want to go by ambulance but when DH and her adult granddaughter were trying to get her to car, she lost consciousness so we called 911. She came too after a few minutes and ambulance took her to hospital. The oxygen made her look better so we thought she would be ok yet.

    She went downhill rapidly during the night and passed away Sunday at noon.

    DFIL lingered for about 4 weeks with hospice care. I guess it's good that she didn't linger and suffer.

    We will miss her terribly.
     

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