I just had to come here and vent again!

[Piglet203]

Since the support is so great on these boards, I thought I'd come once again and talk about my anger . Just incase somebody doesn't know, my ex and I broke up a couple weeks ago and the treatment to me has been wrong. Well, I decided to call him and request that my thing be ready for me, I mean what's the sense in waiting? Anyways, the following day he calls me and leaves a lovely message on my cell phone...saying that he will be unable to be there at the time but will leave my things in trash bags on the front porch. THat in itself makes my blood boil I mean am I trash? Do I deserve to be treated as such? The answer is NO, definitley not. I also am angry b/c he doesn't have the courage to face me. But whatever, the story gets even better.
So I go over to get my things and discover some really wonderful things he put in my trash bags. (being sarcastic ) He not only puts my things that I want back but also puts our photo albums of Disney and other pictures in there. He went through and took out pictures of himself or whatever that he wanted and left me pictures of "us" me and his family and himself Huh??? Ok, and besides that he put in presents that I had given him like a Mickey doll that said I love you, frames and such from our trip, and let's not forget maybe the most important......ALL OF THE WEDDING STUFF. He put in my bridal mags, DIsney wedding stuff, and the paper the day our engagement announcement was there. Is it just me or is his intent to hit me while I'm down? At this point I am not like, "Oh I want to get back with him, but My God was I this blind to see that he was like this??" I also got a nasty voicemail from him b/c I left a note on his door asking for other things and I said "Thanks for the nice touch with the trash bags since that's what you are" He considered that really wrong and "cursing him out" I don't see it like that. I could of written a lot more. Ok well...enough venting for now.......what do you guys think? SOrry it's so long but I had a lot to say. THanks for listening......
Carey

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

The best revenge is living well. Write him off and move on with your life. Find the right guy, not one who only wants the sunshine and roses parts of a relationship.

 

[browneyes]

He's a coward, that's what I think.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Carey, it's time to move on..........you are not trash and someday will find a man that will treat you right!!

Best of luck

 

[ripleysmom]

Piglet, I can certainly appreciate that you feel the need to vent and I know you are going to be upset with what I have to say I also feel it must be said.

I think that you are choosing an inappropriate place to do your venting.

I don't know if you've noticed but pretty much when there is a fight or tiff between DIS friends they tend to keep the details about what happened to themselves. This is so that others are not dragged into what is surely a private matter between two people.

I'm sorry if you feel that I am being harsh but Mickey also has friends on the DIS. Now you have made it, not only an uncomfortable place to be for him, but also uncomfortable for his friends and I don't think that is fair to do to him or them.

I also applaud him because, unlike you, he has not come to the DIS to air his private disagreement with you. Not once has he come to the DIS to either offer his version or to speak badly of you.

It sounds to me like you have a LOT of growing up to do. Hopefully you will take the very painful lesson that you are learning from Mickey to heart and appreciate gold the next time you happen upon it.

 

[DocRafiki]

That sounds SO much like my ex, only my things were left at his front door, without my request, all strewn about. Yes, he's doing it to get back at you. Yes, he's childish. And YES, you deserve better than that! (as far as break-up treatment AND better than that in a boyfriend!)

I mean, you guys were engaged... he is just proving what he really is and that he doesn't really care about you or respect you. I mean, I have been mad at exes, but wouldn't do something like leave their belongings outside in trash bags... because I do respect them as people and do actually continue to care about them afterwards. (I mean, if you only care about someone if they're "with" you, then you don't really care about them, IMHO.)

That being said, I don't know the details. If someone totally screwed me over (it would have to be REALLY malicious, because trust me I've been screwed over), I'm sure I would do worse than that!

 

[tedsmom]

I would thank my lucky stars that this person revealed himself to me prior to entangling my life with him any further than I already had. I would sort through the things he left for me, and keep what I wanted and dispose of the rest...you say there are some pictures of you,he, and his family?? Perhaps his family might like those. If you don't think that's the case, then throw them in the garbage. I would stop dwelling on the situation, as it doesn't sound as if you have lost much, make a new life for yourself and move on.

I am not sure how old you are, but if you're any older than say...22 or 23, then take this as a life lesson, stop acting like a child and move on!

If you're younger than 23, then be aware that life is on occasion going to hand you some rotten stuff, life isn't always going to be fair, and the best thing to do is learn a lesson and move on.

Either way, the bottom line is move on!

 

[lil mermaid]

I have to agree with Ripleysmom. Your venting here and revealing so many details of your relationship with Mickey76 is wildly inappropriate.

Quite frankly, your bashing of him on the boards indicates that you have zero respect for him. YOU are treating HIM like trash. I too applaud him for taking the high road.

You are awfully young - hopefully you will learn from this.

 

[snoopy]

Sounds to me like he is very hurt.

I could be wrong, but young guys do stuff like this when they are hurt. I am assuming he is young, although you haven't said. In any case, he sounds too immature to be married. Count your blessings you didn't get married, and move on. JMO.

 

[captin fink]

I also have to agree with ripleysmom and lil mermaid

 

[CamColt]

Just some supportive words here...I broke off an engagement once a long time ago. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did in my life. Everything happens for a reason. Take this incident as a learning experience and someday you will look back on it and say "Thank God it worked out that way"!

I agree with the "move on" theory(for both parties), but it would be nice if you both could do it civily. During my broken engagement I couldnt see us not being friends after all we had been through together, but the ex wanted all or nothing so he told me never to speak to him again(real mature!). In the end, after I was married to someone else and pregnant, we ended up getting stuck hanging out together at a wedding. It made for a very awkward situation seeing as how we left it.

Good luck to you both!!!!

 

[kdibattista]

Piglet203 - I don't know you but I am sorry to say I have to agree with ripleysmom and lil mermaid. I am truly sorry for what you are going through but this is extremely inappropriate. It sounds to me like you are hoping he is reading this??? It sounds like you are trying to get through to him using this forum??? I hope everything works out but sometimes it is best to keep private matters private.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I feel bad for you, these things can get really ugly! Atleast you aren't ripping each others clothes into shreds and throwing them out of second story windows. I actually had a friend who drank her former boyfriends prized collection of international coca colas, before he could come and retrieve them. It sounds funny now, but I'm sure that he was mad at the time, lol.

Get thee as far away from wherever you were, that you can. I mean, flee pronto! Even if you end up parting with some belongings. Is stuff really that important any way? You can always get more possessions. If he calls you, let your machine pick up. It probably will get easier to do this in a very short time.
Take care, and go have fun!

 

[DocRafiki]

Ripleysmom does have a point.

But, I hardly think he took a "high road." I know when someone does something mean-spirited like that (especially when they're the type who only act like that in private and have convinced everyone else that they're such a great person), there is no greater feeling than to expose him for what he truly is. And really, I don't blame you for telling us what he did... after all, he put all your belongings out for the world to see, no? IMO, if he were going to be ashamed of that act, then he shouldn't have done it. Since he did, he should be prepared for the consequences.

Of course, I don't know either one of you and don't remember reading anything about your relationship in the past, so I'm realizing that I'm only hearing one side of the story.

BTW, I think you're too young to be thinking about getting married. You're lucky it broke down before you wound up a 23-yr-old single parent divorcee.

 

[Piglet203]

I'm sorry if some of you think it was inappropriate to write what I did. In no way is my attempt to hope he reads it or hear about what I've said. My venting strictly had to do with needing to vent and getting some feed back, that's it. As for it being inappropriate, I didn't feel that it was. I have always found support on the boards and thought I'd find it with this. I realize that he too is a member of the boards, but my honest feeling is that he will not return to them, since he is running away from everything else "us" related. I was a member on the boards before and had introduced him to them (not that it matters). If he does, I can't say that I really care at this point and I guess that stems from my anger and hurt, but in no way is it my intention.
Maybe he can be applauded for not "airing" everything on here, but believe me he is saying things all around my school and such...so it's not as if he is innocent. Not that two wrongs make a right b/c they don't. Like I said when I posted here I wasn't doing it with the intent of hurting him or exposing him or whatever, it has been strictly for the need of support and friends. I realize that some of you may be friends with Mickey76 through here and that's fine. I just wanted feed back, that's all.
As for growing up, I couldn't disagree more. I am in my early 20's and very mature for my age. Maybe I made a move that appears immature but that does not describe who I am. I can see where it looks as if "Oh, she is young and can't move on so she has to do this," but that's not the case. I can keep repeating why I came on here and wrote what I did, but I won't. That was my only reason for doing it. I really have no problems moving on. I made realizations just like he did. This has nothing to do with "moving on," I mean everyone goes through stages and I guess I've been in the angry stage. This was one of my ways of dealing with it.
Again, I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable or made them think less of me. I really didn't come here to be hurt more by the matter. I just thought it would help me and that's what I'm focussing on right now. As for keeping private matters private, maybe I should of, but it's not as if I really "know" anyone from here, so I thought it would be a good place to talk. I really don't know what else to say. THanks for anyone that listened and gave advice, it was always appreciated.
Carey

 

[minniepumpernickel]

I hope that things are getting a little better for you, piglet! Hope that you have a great weekend!

 

[kinlaw6450]

I have to agree with the others here. The way you are going about this is not right. There is no reason why the entire world needs to hear you slam him. That said, we haven't heard from him...and would (most of us anyway) rather not at least on this subject. So I am sure there is a whole lot more to this that is not being recognized.

I forget who said it but from what you describe he sounds hurt. But again...we don't "really" know. Just my 2 cents.

 

[ckr]

I'm not meaning to rub salt in your wounds here, really, but I've got to agree. When I first read this, I thought "Now why hasn't this been moved to the Teen Board?" You say your mature IRL, but your "vent" really doesn't display that.

Probably just a lapse of judgement thing, but a good rule to live by in that department is to beware of what you put into print, video, photograph, or audio. It can come back to haunt you, while you can always deny you "said" something if it's not been "captured". May sound underhanded, but it's kept me from leaving some really nasty tracks behind when I've been burned like you have.

On another note, I wouldn't be so upset by the garbage bags. What did you expect, a new set of luggage? Would it have been better if your things had been left scattered about? Did you offer to bring by some moving boxes for your things? Not saying the garbage bags didn't make you feel bad, but try not to read so much into it. What alternatives would you have suggested?

Sorry you're going through this. But you never know what is right around the corner. I went through a really ugly break up right about the time of my 25th birthday. I remember it being the worst birthday ever. Less than 2 months later, I met a great guy. Exactly 2 months after that, we got engaged. This past June, we celebrated 11 years of marriage!

I am SOOOO thankful for that breakup now. But I do wish it wouldn't have been so ugly.

Good Luck. And if you want to vent, feel free, but maybe not so many details. JMO...

 

[vickyBaby]

What's wrong with Garbage bags? Were they used? He couldn't face you because it was obviously too painful for him.

If he wanted to treat you badly, he would have broken your things or worse. Better in plastic bags, then just strewn around.

This is a tough hurdle, but you sound like a tough person and will overcome it.

 

[mickey65]

I'm sorry you are feeling hurt.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}