I just don't understand.....

[MELSMICE]

Well, it doesn't surprise me....because some people are like that..
but I would NEVER go to WDW without my kids. There will be plenty of time for that when they are older, grown, & gone.

I want to enjoy it with them while they are young.

This is exactly how I thought until DH & I took a fabulous trip to "the world" by ourselves. We had the best time & my DD's had a wonderful time "goofing off" with their aunt.

I'll never judge a parent for how or where they decide to vacation--whether it's with or without their children. It's none of my business and they're in a much better position to decide what's best for their family.

Exactly!!! Very well said.

Not sure how long you have been married but I've been married for almost 12 years. I can say without a doubt one of the most important things you can do for yourself, your marriage and your children is to spend some alone time with your spouse. It leads to a very healthy marriage. It shows your child/children that you value your relationship with your spouse.

We take our kids on vacations, mostly Disney. We go to Disney with them every year. We have another type of trip we're planning for next year or the year after (Beaches Turks and Caicos). BUT that being said, we also go on trips WITHOUT our children. (not to Disney though) It is vital to our relationship that my husband and I get to spend a good block of time alone. He owns his own business so he works CONSTANTLY, 7 days a week. It's important to his health and the health of our relationship to be able to get away together. Normally we go on two trips a year, one with the kids and one without. And yes, we drop them off at their grandparent's house where they LOVE to be.

Keep in mind, what you feel is right for you may not be right for everyone else. So when you say you think being away from your kids is fine as long as it's kept to a minimum (not sure what you mean by that), that may be acceptable to you, but not necessarily the right fit for everyone else.

Shelby

I couldn't agree more. Some day (very soon, in fact) my DD's will be gone from our house. I don't want to have to "reconnect" with my DH. I want to be connected already when they move out.

We find that it's nice to get away from our "lust busters" (as we so lovingly call them) occasionally!

 

[Sherri]

All I can do is tell what our situation was and currently is. We ALWAYS vacation with the kids, usually twice a year since they were early elementary school.
My son that is 15 no longer really wants to go on vacation with us. Maybe its a phase that will pass, maybe it is here to stay. But all I can say is, i'm glad we got to have all of the vacations we have because one day friends will take the front seat, and family the back.

 

[minkydog]

I'm not sure why this situation bothers you so much I've been a mother for 20 yrs and a wife for 25 and I can certainly understand why they don't want to take preschoolers on their vacation. I may be old, but I'm not dead!

I'm a firm believer that parents need to have their own getaway time periodically. Whether they go to the Europe, Disney World, or New Jersey does not matter at all. Children do not need to be included in every vacation. They require a lot of flexibility, and they drain the romance right out of my vacation. I find it much easier to relax and focus on my spouse when i'm not having to keep one eye on the kids.

Disney World is a great place to go as a couple. DH & I did it a couple years ago and had a blast. The kids understood that the next trip would be theirs.If parents want to go to WDW on vacation and leave their young children with loving family members, who cares? I say more power to them

 

[Bearvet]

OP here - I would like to clarify that this doesn't bother me, it simply surprises me. DBIL and DSIL go off quite frequently without the kids and even without each other (she goes with sisters & friends and he goes with friends). I simply think that it's a great opportunity with a free place to stay to take the kids to Disney. Having seperate bedrooms can stll give parents some "adult" time, yet you are there as a family.

Even when they did take the kids on vacation with them last summer (to the beach) they took 2 sitters with them. DSIL's parents have the kids overnight quite often and they have freedom to go out on their own. ITA that parents need that alone time to maintain their relationship!

As I stated before, I think DSIL thinks it will be too much work to take them. I guess I feel that if you focus on things your kids will enjoy and take breaks when needed, it's a wonderful experience. Now that my kids are older (DS17 won't be vacationing with us this year), I'm so happy we took them when they were young to enjoy the magic with them. I'm certainly NOT judging anyone here, I'm simply surprised by their decision.

 

[dis ms.]

DBIL and DSIL are going to Orlando in Feb and staying at DFIL's timeshare. They have DS4 and DD3 (almost) and they're NOT taking the kids!!! I just don't understand!...What do you think? Would this surprise you?

Since you asked what we think, I'll tell you my thoughts. I just don't understand why you feel you need to understand THEIR decision. It's no one's business but theirs. I am surprised, but not that your DBIL and DSIL are going to WDW sans kids. I'm surprised that people feel the need to judge the vacation plans of others.

ETA: I see that you said their decision does not bother you, but it seems as if it does. While YOU think it would be a great opportunity for them to take their kids, perhaps THEY think it's a great opportunity to get away alone. IMHO, you seem a bit too concerned with the time they spend with & without their kids (on vacation and otherwise). Unless they're neglecting their children, I don't think it's anyone else's business.

 

[Michie]

Since you asked what we think, I'll tell you my thoughts. I just don't understand why you feel you need to understand THEIR decision. It's no one's business but theirs. I am surprised, but not that your DBIL and DSIL are going to WDW sans kids. I'm surprised that people feel the need to judge the vacation plans of others.

ETA: I see that you said their decision does not bother you, but it seems as if it does. While YOU think it would be a great opportunity for them to take their kids, perhaps THEY think it's a great opportunity to get away alone. IMHO, you seem a bit too concerned with the time they spend with & without their kids (on vacation and otherwise). Unless they're neglecting their children, I don't think it's anyone else's business.

I agree! This is why I never discuss our trips with anybody, before or after, not even my DH I just make the plans and tell him when to take time off.

I could care less about what my BIL and SIL do nonetheless talking about them on the DIS. They just t'arnt worthy of it!

 

[KristiKelly]

Dh & I went to WDW in 1998, just the 2 of us. DS was 18 mo at the time. We had not been since we were both little (had never been to EPCOT). Anyway, we felt so guilty the entire time we were there, we knew DS would've loved it.

We took him back the next year when he was 2-1/2. I would never do WDW without my kids now.

We learned our lesson and I guess they'll have to learn theirs.

 

[MELSMICE]

We learned our lesson and I guess they'll have to learn theirs.

I don't think there's any lesson to be learned here. It's a personal choice.

Like I said, I was a poster that always said, "I would NEVER go to WDW" without my kids. In fact, I couldn't understand anyone going on vacation without their kids.

After having gone though, my tune changed. While we were there without kids my DH golfed, while I relaxed by the pool with a good book. We went to Jellyrolls one night, I walked around the countries & searched through all the shops while DH golfed again. We went to great dinners together & we swam & sat in the hot tubs together.

We had a nice relaxing vacation & when we got home we heard all the stories about the great time my DD's had with their aunt. They actually loved having the time with my sister, who spoils them rotten & does all the "fun" stuff that mom doesn't do.

So, atually, I guess I did learn my lesson. It was that I can have a good time at WDW even if my kids aren't there.

Not to mention - my kids go at least 2 or 3 times a year with us, so one short trip without them didn't hurt them one bit! (well, actually it's been 2 now!)

 

[dis ms.]

I would never do WDW without my kids now.

We learned our lesson and I guess they'll have to learn theirs.

That's awfully presumptuous. Just because you and your DH felt that way does not mean this couple, who (please correct me if I'm wrong) you don't know from Adam and Eve, will feel that way.

 

[summerrluvv]

DS was 2 when we took him. No meltdowns and he had a BLAST. I guess all kids are different though. I would feel weird going without him.

 

[auntpolly]

This is one of those discussions where I feel like not everyone is on the same page. I'm not so sure we are so far apart in our feelings about this.

I'm assuming that we are talking about a simple getaway for husband and wife, and that there will be another family vacation.

I think if there will be no chance for the kids to have any family time with the parents, then of course it would not be a great idea. But I'm sure there will be some other family outings - with the kids; right?

I'm sure that none of you think that the parents should never go to WDW without the kids; do you?

My DH and I took a little getaway to San Francisco when DD was in 1st grade, and we, too, learned out lesson - that it's a good idea for us to get away by ourselves at least once a year. That didn't mean we didn't take her on a family vacation too. (trust me, if DH had been a WDW fanatic like I am, we would have had no problem with getaways just the 2 of us to WDW! )

 

[dis ms.]

This is one of those discussions where I feel like not everyone is on the same page. I'm not so sure we are so far apart in our feelings about this.

I'm assuming that we are talking about a simple getaway for husband and wife, and that there will be another family vacation.

I think if there will be no chance for the kids to have any family time with the parents, then of course it would not be a great idea. But I'm sure there will be some other family outings - with the kids; right?

I'm sure that none of you think that the parents should never go to WDW without the kids; do you?

My DH and I took a little getaway to San Francisco when DD was in 1st grade, and we, too, learned out lesson - that it's a good idea for us to get away by ourselves at least once a year. That didn't mean we didn't take her on a family vacation too. (trust me, if DH had been a WDW fanatic like I am, we would have had no problem with getaways just the 2 of us to WDW! )

Very well put!

 

[MELSMICE]

Very well put!

Yes, it was!

 

[LuvMickey36]

DH & I went to WDW many times before DS was born. Had a great time. Took DS for the first time when he was 20 months old & have taken him back at least once every year since then. He will be 4 next month & remembers a lot of stuff from our trips last year. WDW is simply "Vacation" to him. He is my little disney lover!!

We have never had a problem with crying, tantrums, etc. We go back every afternoon for a nap. In our family, everyone needs one not just the little one. Yes, we usually miss the afternoon parade, but that is ok if it means my DS is having a good time. Not a meltdown because he is tired.

For my DH & I the best part of our WDW trip is seeing my DS laugh or smile or interact with a character. We don't care about any of the "grown-up" rides much anymore. Our main focus is seeing the characters, character meals, & any ride my DS wants to do. That is how we choose to spend our vacation because it makes us happy to see him so happy.

I think everyone should be allowed to take the vacation that makes them happy regardless if it means taking their kiddos or not.

 

[shortbun]

While I understand your thinking, I support their decision. I first took my son at 4.5 and I was a bit nervous doing it. I had been myself many times and thought this to be the youngest age *I* would take a child. There is so much children love about the place and so much they can not enjoy at so young an age. As a grownup, I was so glad I had done my own trips before I took a young child. I knew to what and where to take him to enhance his enjoyment and I could easily skip many things having 'been there, done that' and knowing my son would love them later. I think a few years down the road their children will love Disney even more as will they love taking them.

 

[Hixski]

I have a friend who has a 2 yr old and an 11yr old. DH and I are going after Thanksgiving for a few days for the Christmas decorations and MVMCP. My friend wanted to know if we would mind her and the 11yr old going with us. I told her it would be great for the 11yr old. She has never been. Her DH will not go on vacation anywhere with her so she will leave the 2yr old home with him. I am sure there would be some who would question that but the 11 yr old will have a great time. My friend said her 2yr old is just a pain right now and we would not be able to do much with her there. She will take her when she is a little older.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Since you asked what we think, I'll tell you my thoughts. I just don't understand why you feel you need to understand THEIR decision. It's no one's business but theirs. I am surprised, but not that your DBIL and DSIL are going to WDW sans kids. I'm surprised that people feel the need to judge the vacation plans of others.

ETA: I see that you said their decision does not bother you, but it seems as if it does. While YOU think it would be a great opportunity for them to take their kids, perhaps THEY think it's a great opportunity to get away alone. IMHO, you seem a bit too concerned with the time they spend with & without their kids (on vacation and otherwise). Unless they're neglecting their children, I don't think it's anyone else's business.

I totally agree.

That's awfully presumptious. Just because you and your DH felt that way does not mean this couple, who (please correct me if I'm wrong) you don't know from Adam and Eve, will feel that way.

It was presumptuous and arrogant. Unbelievable.

 

[tmasingo]

We took my DS for the first time last March when he was just shy of 3....and then again in July when he was just over 3. I couldn't WAIT to take him back...and am so bummed right now we don't have a trip planned soon. He had a few moments when he got cranky, but we went with the flow and did what worked. He had a FANTASTIC time and remembers every freakin' minute There are times he'll talk about something (from either trip) and we're sitting here taking 10 minutes to try and remember ourselves what he's talking about I'm talking minute details, lol!

What a cute story of that little girl dancing. It reminds me of my own. On our last trip (when she had just turned 3) she would dance CONSTANTLY! At Epcot there's a section of the ground that has little twinkle lights that you can see at night. My daughter danced around and around on those like a little ballerina. She thought it was a dance floor just for her. She looked so precious I remember getting tears in my eyes as we watched her.

DS did this waiting for Illuminations last trip. He just started dancing away to the music while we waited. He garnered quite the crowd and had us all laughing. I wouldn't have traded that for anything.

What I don't get are the people that say the kids need to remember the trip.

I just don't get it..why?

What is wrong with just having fun in the moment? They might not remember, but mommy and daddy would!

I know I said that DS remembered our trips, but even if he hadn't, I agree with this. I remember it all and wouldn't have had it any other way.

ETA~I'm not saying this is how everyone has to feel. Obviously it worked for us but for others, maybe not so much. Everyone's entitled to do what works best for them.