I just don't get some parents *Update*

[ntburns22]

My DD6 is in cheer and they have their first actual competition this weekend. They normally just do their routine for show at the local competitions. The girls are ages 3-6. The other 6 year olds mom doesn't want to be bothered and said she is pulling her DD just days before the competition. After lots of talking and convincing I am taking her DD6 to the overnight competition. I feel so bad for this little girl she loves performing and her own mom isn't coming to watch. So I will be the one getting her ready as well as my DD and tell them how great they are going to do. A real mom-DD moment and her mom won't be there. Sorry my little vent is over.

 

[Stacerita]

Makes me sad to see how some parents can be like that. I hate when I have to go out of town or something comes up and I can't make it to one of her "things". In the moms defense though, there are some activites that take up way more time than expected. Especially cheer. Maybe she didn't know ahead of time the huge commitment it is and having an overnight comp can be alot for someone. I just dont see why she agreed to let you take her to the comp and then still not go herself. Sad for the little girl.

Good luck at the comp!

 

[disykat]

I'm surprised she is letting her go with you. I can understand why she would not want her 6 year old in actual competition, however. There's a big difference between performing and competing, IMO. If I had a daughter, and she wanted to cheer, I would let her (though probably not at age 6). I would do anything I could to avoid being involved though. It wouldn't mean I didn't love my daughter, it would be reflective of my extreme lack of enthusiasm for the activity.

 

[shortbun]

3-6 yo competing at an overnight? I kinda think I'm with the other mother but then I'd never send my child that young with another parent either. Assuming you are coming the the "Ahnold" classic, I welcome you and hope you enjoy our city.

 

[aprilgail2]

If I had a daughter, and she wanted to cheer, I would let her (though probably not at age 6). I would do anything I could to avoid being involved though. It wouldn't mean I didn't love my daughter, it would be reflective of my extreme lack of enthusiasm for the activity.

This is my problem too, I just pray my daughter never wants to cheer because it would mean I would have to sit there and watch her and I think I would rather watch grass grow than cheerleading! If she wants to do it I would let her though not happily but it would be painful to have to sit there and watch her.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

This is my problem too, I just pray my daughter never wants to cheer because it would mean I would have to sit there and watch her and I think I would rather watch grass grow than cheerleading! If she wants to do it I would let her though not happily but it would be painful to have to sit there and watch her.

I am not praying it is the one thing my DD wants to do. I am sorry, but it is going to be one of the few no's she will get from me. So, even if she wanted to, it will be her first lesson in disappointment. She is in 2nd grade now, and has not showed any interest, so I might be lucky.

To the OP, I also am also on the side of the parent. She could be like me and hates cheerleading with a passion, and maybe put her young DD in it to get it out of her system before middle school. Maybe this mom didn't realize that they have competition at such a young age.

BTW, why do they have cheer competitions with 3-6 yo's? To me that age should be instructional and fun. It would be like sending my 6yo T-ball teams to a World Series weekend.

 

[Mom21]

This is my problem too, I just pray my daughter never wants to cheer because it would mean I would have to sit there and watch her and I think I would rather watch grass grow than cheerleading! If she wants to do it I would let her though not happily but it would be painful to have to sit there and watch her.

I can tell you something more painful to watch than cheerleading. My dd was in gymnastics for years. She competed from age 7-8. I think we went to about 6 competitions. Now THAT was painful. No music, no crowd participation, nothing. Just a steady stream of children doing the exact same routine (required at that level), rotating from apparatus to apparatus. Nothing like watching a little girl struggle in complete silence for 2 minutes to maintain her balance on a beam. Of course the occasional little hop they added in really helped make the time go by a bit faster....NOT

At least now with cheerleading there are different routines and some music to break the monotony

 

[ntburns22]

As for the competeing issue. We never stressed it. All the girls know is that the squad gets a trophy for this one no matter how they do. There are 4 other groups in thier division. They are just too cute to watch, especially the younger girls. They have performed at 4 local cheerleading competitions already and the girls love it.

We weren't always planning on making this an overnight trip. We live about an hour 1 1/2 away from the competition. Our times came back really early. We all figured it would just make sense to stay the night before. The mom knew this and she agreed. Maybe she was just going with the flow. She originally said yes to this comp 2 months ago. If her DD wasn't a major part the coach would have let her go. You can't rework a whole routine with girls this age a week before.

I am too surprised that her mom is letting her go with us. We were the only family that had extra room for another body in our van. I am just praying for some that her mom changes her mind before tomorrow night. SHe just keeps saying she has to work with her horse on saturday. With the girls going on so early she could be back home by mid afternoon.

Yep we are going to The Arnold Classic. My DD hope she gets to meet a moviestar. I guess there is a chance, so we will see.

 

[pixiemomma]

Alot of parents bailed on our end of year hockey tournament. (We only have 9 out of 30 participating.) It makes me but it gives you a good idea who is going to stick with it and who isn't.

 

[Hannathy]

I also agree that 3-6 yr olds don't need to be competing, I wouldn't go. My DD has taken dance since 2 1/2 but I never let her go to competition until this year she's 14. I had 2 root canals done this week and enjoyed that day more than the day we spent at the competition. It was educational though- all those Moms living thru their daughters arriving with the rolling,personalized make-up cases, all the time on make-up and hair, little girls crying if they thought the missed a step UGHH. I was very proud when my DD said it was fun but I sure wouldn't want to do this all the time, there are more important things in life, and when do they do their school work? Plus it is expensive fees, costumes, food you are held hostage all day, gas. I do believe in kids taking classes and learning to perform in front of people but not in the whole racket of competition.

 

[ntburns22]

We just do this for fun and my DD loves it so I guess that is all that matters to me. We don't get into the whole makeup thing just some clear mascara and lip gloss. She loves to watch the older girls cheer. I was a tomboy growing so this scene is all new to me. If my DD ever wants to stop we will. When the time is right. She would have to finish out the season so it wouldn't hurt the other girls. I guess that is the point I was trying to get across. No matter what age 6-16 you don't quit halfway through, because others are counting on you. Growing up my parents had me finish things that I started.

 

[TEENEE]

I wouldn't be to quick to beat the mother up over not attending. Unless you know her personal life very well you don't know what the real reason is. It could be that she can't afford to stay overnight. The fact that she can't go could be tearing her up inside.

 

[ntburns22]

I wouldn't be to quick to beat the mother up over not attending. Unless you know her personal life very well you don't know what the real reason is. It could be that she can't afford to stay overnight. The fact that she can't go could be tearing her up inside.

I will admit I don't know her personal life very well. If they weren't going to get a room that would have to leave at 6am to get there and another family is doing this. The girls go on after 9 am and they could leave right after. Staying for the awards is optional and they are at noon. I just really hope something changes before tomorrow night.

 

[va32h]

I do think it is odd that a parent would send their 6 year old on an overnight trip with a family they didn't know very well.

On the other hand, I also think it's odd that girls ages 3-6 are performing a routine so complex that the absence of one child would send the routine into chaos! What if someone were sick or injured themselves right before the competition?

My husband and I have both missed seeing our daughter at some of her skating competitions. We have three children, and when there are competitions that involve a long drive or getting up at the crack of dawn, it just seems unfair to put the little ones through all that. So sometimes one of us will stay and the other will go.

Working with a horse does seem like an unusual reason not to go, though.

 

[CEDmom]

I can understand as well why she doesn't want her to be at a competition. She's 6. But I don't get her letting her go. IMO, 6 is way too young for stuff like this. Are the 3 yo actually competing? - that makes me wonder about their parents. I guess these differences of opinion is what makes the world go round.

 

[pixiemomma]

I don't know the first thing about cheering but I don't think 6 is too young for a competition. It is probably just a fun event where all the kids can get together, cheer and have a good time.

 

[sk8bug72]

I don't think that it is such a big deal for young kids to compete. I actually think that it is good because at that age they don't really care about winning or losing, they just have fun. I think that it is harder to learn that winning isn't important if you start competing at an older age. With that said, I know that there are some crazy parents who take competing very seriously at any age, but from what I've seen, most people aren't like that.
I have been skating in competitions for many years and I have learned so much. After competing for a while, I realized that what place I came in was not important, I learned to set goals for my self like skating a clean program, instead of coming in first place. Competition is a great learning experiance because it teaches kids how to set goals and how to handle many different situations. It also is a lot of fun. Competing has taught me so much about life.

 

[PaulaSue]

3-6 yr olds

Even if I would allow my girls to do that, that young. I wouldn't let or be able to go with them overnight anywhere, with my other girls to take care of.

I would just be thankfull she can go at all. I'm sure her Mom is upset she can't be there, for her own reasons. Maybe you can video it for her?

 

[barkley]

i don't get the concept of letting the little girl go overnite with someone she is'nt close to, but maybe she is feeling alot of pressure from the coach and other parents to even consider keeping the little girl out of this event (though pressure or not i would'nt put my child into a situation i was'nt agreeable or comfortable with).

i'm not a huge cheer fan, i've got a friend who was a very successful cheerleader/dancer and went on to coach the highschool team-but she resigned when she could'nt get the kids/parents/administration to uphold the heath/safety and behavioural standards she felt were key elements to a good program (one of her big concerns was some of the girls who were clearly overextended activity wise coming to practice exhausted from multiple dance classes, lack of sleep...and not being alert enough to safely do the lifts and throws-she was concerned that someone could get permanantly injured). her attitude was that it was a high demand, precision sport and you needed to be on the top of your game-so you needed to balance out your activities to ensure you were rested and in top physical form (the kids and parents did'nt agree and some girls had dance classes/competitions every nite and weekend that drained them physicaly-the administration could'nt do anything about out of school activities so they could'nt come to a reasonable solution). so i tend to think unless the program focuses on health and safety-perhaps opting out of so many competitions and encourageing so many supplementary dance classes (and thats the big money maker around our parts-the girls sign up for "cheer" and parents are told they won't measure up/achieve their potential without the jazz, hip-hop, etc. classes so they sign on for much more than they originaly anticipated financialy and time-wise-cuz there are all the competions that go along with those classes as well) it's not something i'de opt to include a child in.

i think it's o.k. for the younger set to participate in the multi group shows, but i'm not big on the competition angle-esp. when so many are not truly competitions (if your team gets a trophy for simply participating it is not a competition and should not be billed as such). i think at the younger age just learning and achieving the skills, gaining self-confidence and ENJOYING it should be the emphasis.

on the final issue of the mom and needing to work with her horse-perhaps she is trying to teach her kids responsibility by her actions with this. a horse is a huge commitment and failing to take appropriate care of the horse can result in consequences far more serious than one child in a squad of many missing a cheer tournament (and i would question why the squad has not been taught some alternative methods of adapting when one person is removed from the routine-if a child fell ill or injured right before a competition-which in this age range i would think might happen with regularity-do they always have to opt the entire group out?-just seems odd). so she may be demonstrating to her children that mom is just as accountable with her commitments as she would expect them to be (and she may truly have not know that the cheer competition was going to be a time involving as it appears to have become-maybe the coach needs to express to the parents initialy that a 2 hour saturday event can in actuality involve an entire days commitment).

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I don't like it that we have 6 yo compete in tournaments. What happen to having fun?
That's why my 9 yo (at that time) stopped twirling. She liked the weekly classes and playing at Christmas & year end for the parents, but that's it.
the competition got so out of hand & competetive she quit.

One time the instructor had a spat with one parent because her DD wasn't going to go a tournament because her brother was making his First Holy Communion.
The instructor didn't think that was a valid reason!