I have had a traumatic evening...

[raammartin]

It's my 8 year old...She's almost 9 and she wants to start shaving. WTHeck? Isn't that too young? I mean, she's got leg hair, but I don't care if her legs look like gorilla legs - she's 8! What do I do?

And if that wasn't bad enough...

She later asks how babies get in their Mommy's tummys. OMGa! I am totally unprepared for this one. I just looked at her - mouth agape - and finally said that I would talk to Daddy and then we'd talk to her (and her brother) later. Should I get them a book to read and then talk to them or what?

I'm not ready for my kids to grow up.

 

[Alice's Mom]

My 5 year old wants to know how she got into my tummy too. I told her that she was the size of a jelly bean and I ate her!

This is the face she made at me

At least she stopped asking.

Did someone at school shave their legs, that usually drives mine to ask for new things. She asked for highlights when another kindergartener got hers done. I started a thread about that one.

 

[lucyanna girl]

My DD is 14. All I can say is life is about to get even more interesting. Read that as even more wonderful with a little "Oh my gosh" built in. DD has a really good group of close friends who have stuck together and stuck up for each other thru everything. Lately they have discovered boys. No one-on-one dates, just group activities that now include boys. The girls have sleep overs at my house often. Thank goodness they all still tell all. In the last couple of months I have been informed of who had got their first kiss.
You have quite a while before you have to face this. But time goes fast. Yep, life's about to get more interesting.

Penny

 

[kbkids]

Me and some friends were just discussing this last weekend. We all agreed that if the hair was noticeable and bugged our daughters that we would let them. By the way, my daughter is the exact same age as yours - she'll be 9 in October, and if she had dark hair that was noticeable and wanted to shave, yes, I would let her. I wasn't allowed to shave until about a year after I should have started, and I was teased alot and hated it. There are a couple of girls in my daughter's group of friends that have really dark hair on their legs. I've threatened my daughter to not dare say a word, but I have heard them being picked on. It's just not something I would want my child to have to go through if there was something I could do to stop it.

As far as the other issue, if she's asking, it's probably time. I feel like I'll be getting the questions soon too. You'd rather them hear from you than elsewhere.

 

[beckmrk04]

Good grief.

I started shaving my legs at like 11 or 12. I can't imagine and 8 yr old with a razor. Seems kind of young to me.

As far as the baby-making talk- I'm a big advocate of honest and direct information- keeps them from learning the "facts" ( ) on the playground.

Although- the jelly bean idea is HYSTERICAL!!! That's a good one.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Let her shave. I started shaving at 9.

Also started developing (and everything that went with it that summer). Be prepared!

 

[Snow Brite]

So let her shave them once. I bet she doesnt like it and will be satisfied. My daughter started when she was almost 11, but she wanted to wear tanktops and it was horrible if she didn't shave there too.

As for the baby in the tummy, I would ask her what she wants to know and then just answer the questions matter of factly. The less freaked out you are the better for her, but we all get a little freaked out with that conversation. I have found it is better to have a lot of little conversations as things come up than to have one big "Birds and the Bees Talk" and then call it good.

The MOST important thing we want our daughters to learn about that topic is how to talk about their beliefs and expectations with the boys they will later date. The only way to teach them that is to talk to them...a LOT...and in as open and honest a manner as is right for their age. When I get flustered I just try to remember that. I want my daughter to be able to talk to me and not have to go to her friends or (heaven above) the boy she is dating for information. So I suck it up, act comfortable and dive in.

 

[Snow Brite]

I just wanted to add that the Intuition razors work really good for beginner shavers.

 

[beckmrk04]

You know, I was just thinking... I think my sister started shaving around 9. Of course, she got her period when she was 10!

Maybe I think it's young because I didn't start developing until around 11. I don't know...

 

[beckmrk04]

I just wanted to add that the Intuition razors work really good for beginner shavers.

AMEN to that!!! Ok- I'm not a beginner, but I just "discovered" the amazing invention that is the Intuition razor!! I love it! I actually shave now!

Maybe she'll care less about shaving once she realizes what a time consuming PITA it is.

 

[Briarprincess]

I'm only 19, but I don't really remember when I started. However my best friend from high school and her younger sister (who's only 10) were raised by a single father. He knew nothing when the sister asked if he could get her razors to shave. So my friend and I took her to CVS and asked her if she would mind us teaching her, no problem. We bought the Veet Bladeless kit. Had a sleepover and we all did it. Easy as that. I've been using it since it first came out, and love it. It's great for beginners because you can't cut yourself. The only issue would be making sure to not leave it on too long, which can be fixed by using an egg timer.
As far as the where do babies come from, I can't help, as I never talked about it with my parents. Everything I learned, I learned through health class, friends, and my friends parent's having more kids when we were in elementary school.

These are just some of the things I'm worried about having to go through when I start having kids.

 

[Froggyswife]

My dd started shaveing her leggs at 9 as well. She needed to she did look like a sasquach lol. If she thinks she needs to then I would let her because self esteem is a fragil thing at that age. Kids will tease her if she has "hairy leggs". All kids develope at different ages. These days it seems it starts younger and younger.

As for the where do babies come from question I agree if she is asking about it it is time for the birds and the bees talk. Sorry they grow up so fast these days.

 

[Hedy]

I learned when I was nine. I've heard it's a good age because it's before they pick it up on the playground, and it gives a good basis for puberty talk.

 

[raammartin]

My 5 year old wants to know how she got into my tummy too. I told her that she was the size of a jelly bean and I ate her!

This is the face she made at me

At least she stopped asking.

Did someone at school shave their legs, that usually drives mine to ask for new things. She asked for highlights when another kindergartener got hers done. I started a thread about that one.

The jelly bean story is cute. Mine said that she thought people ate boogers, the boogers went to your tummy, and made babies. Huh??

Near the end of the school year DD did tell me that some girls in her 3rd grade class shaved so I'm sure that influenced her.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

My DSD started about a month ago and she will be 9 in August--She is with us for the summers and her mom told us last night to prepare us for when she gets here in a few days---Apparently she is like her dad,my DH,poor kid and was being teased horribly at school. She is only allowed to shave no more than once a week though and I have no clue what she uses! My DD who is 6 months younger has light colored fine hair on her legs so hopefully we can hold her off for a couple of more years!!
I'm not even going to touch the baby making part of the post though because I have no clue--Maybe I could just pass on my moms telling us about swallowing watermelon seeds story to hold them off for a little bit longer!!

 

[raammartin]

My DD is 14. All I can say is life is about to get even more interesting. Read that as even more wonderful with a little "Oh my gosh" built in. DD has a really good group of close friends who have stuck together and stuck up for each other thru everything. Lately they have discovered boys. No one-on-one dates, just group activities that now include boys. The girls have sleep overs at my house often. Thank goodness they all still tell all. In the last couple of months I have been informed of who had got their first kiss.
You have quite a while before you have to face this. But time goes fast. Yep, life's about to get more interesting.

Penny

DD is already boy crazy. She takes extra time to get her hair just right, etc. Today she dressed up b/c the boy she has a crush on is in her summer camp class. I am NOT ready for the phase!!

 

[raammartin]

Me and some friends were just discussing this last weekend. We all agreed that if the hair was noticeable and bugged our daughters that we would let them. By the way, my daughter is the exact same age as yours - she'll be 9 in October, and if she had dark hair that was noticeable and wanted to shave, yes, I would let her. I wasn't allowed to shave until about a year after I should have started, and I was teased alot and hated it. There are a couple of girls in my daughter's group of friends that have really dark hair on their legs. I've threatened my daughter to not dare say a word, but I have heard them being picked on. It's just not something I would want my child to have to go through if there was something I could do to stop it.

As far as the other issue, if she's asking, it's probably time. I feel like I'll be getting the questions soon too. You'd rather them hear from you than elsewhere.

DD has red hair, but her leg hair is sort of dark. I agree with you. Rather than be picked on (kids are so mean these days) I'll let her shave. We are going to try the Veet cream with the fake razor thingie. I'd hate for her to cut herself up.

DD is a very smart child and very curious. Nine'ish just seems so young to want to know. But they need to learn these things from their parents.

 

[raammartin]

Let her shave. I started shaving at 9.

Also started developing (and everything that went with it that summer). Be prepared!

OMGa, don't say that! Developing at 9?? If I disappear from the boards soon you will all know that I've slipped into some adolescent-prepubescent-related coma...

 

[raammartin]

I just want y'all to know that I'M TAKING NOTES!

Snowbrite, so right you are about teaching her about beliefs, etc. in addition to the facts. She needs to know all the right things. I don't want to make the discussion out to be a big huge deal (although it is). Tonight took me by surprise. I was completely unprepared.

And I may get the Veet and the Intuition razor. I've never tried that myself. She won't cut herself up with the razor?

Briarprincess, my parents never had "the talk" with me either. I got all my information from friends, etc. - not the best most reliable sources.

Froggyswife, they really do grow up way too fast these days. It really makes me sad.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I started shaving when I was 9. I swam at highly competitive levels, so it was in part for meets, but also becuase I was embarassed about underarm hair when I was in a bathing suit 5 or 6 days a week with kids I knew from school and everything else. One cold winter, I didn't want to shave becuase it combined with the chlorine was drying my skin out. I was in Catholic school, so we wore knee socks. My crush said, "Why do you have such long hair on your legs? Don't you shave yet?" THAT was the last draw! Never again have I let that slip!

As for "the talk" issue, be straight with them. If they don't hear it from you, they are going to hear it at school. Let's face it, the information they get at school is not going to be as accurate as the informaiton they get from Mom and Dad. My mom and I went to the library and I checked out several of the "growing up, getting awkward, and learning the s-word" books. The best one I ever read was, "It's Perfectly Normal." I think it's subsequently been banned. Whenever I had questions, I went to my Mom. It helped, becuase being in the medical profession, she always had the answers. DH got Sex Ed from her (at his request and questioning!) when we were dating becuase he never learned it from his parents and Health class touched on only the basics. Please note, he was well into college when I could come downstairs and find my mom and boyfriend at the kitchen table discussing everything. It took him that long to ever know the Biology or anything deeper than the basics.

There's no cut and dry solution and each family is unique. You'll find what works best for you and your family. It's as awkward for you as it is for them. Something I found so shocking from my Psychology of Sex class- it's often taught to children that it's a dirty word and a dirty act. Try to avoid that and teach them that when they are grown and ready and it's with someon they love, it's a beautiful thing.

ETA- I think the Veet razorless kit sounds like an awesome idea! Mom always gave me her or my dad's dull blade..dull enough so that if I did cut it wasn't terrible, but sharp enough that there wasn't any razor burn. Just don't let her dry shave... I tried that before a meet once and thought my legs were on fire. Ouch!