I have a small dilemma...

[minkydog]

A few months ago I took a lot of pictures at my mother's house at her request. She wanted me to document her stuff so she would have it for insurance purposes as well as to help us kids know what belongs to her and what belonged to my deceased step-father(and now belongs to his kids.) While it would be a lot easier if his kids just came and got their stuff, that's not gonna happen(they are about 40 and 25).

Anyway, I got the pictures back and they're pretty horrifying. My mother is a hoarder and her house is beyond a mess. In some rooms the stuff is literally hip high, with little rabbit trails running through. I tried not to take pictures that were intentionally bad but in shooting some of the antiques I got a lot of just pure junk.

I went ahead and put them in a photo album but now I'm debating whether to give it to her. She is going to feel very shamed when she sees the pictures. My mother has never been a great housekeeper, but since DStep-dad died 7 years ago she has let the house go seriously downhill. She is very embarrassed about it and nearly paralyzed by the enormity of the mess. But she won't do anything about it and won't let any of us help her much.

What would you do? Give her the pictures that she wanted knowing that it's going to make her feel bad? Pretend that you lost 11 rolls of film? I live 400 miles away and I had intended to mail this book to her. But now I'm thinking it would be better if I *take* it to her so I can be there if she's really upset.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Your Mom lives in the house so she should know what it looks like. Give her the album and if your lucky it will make your Mom realize what its like in the house.

Now I feel like cleaning out my junk room.

 

[luvdamouse91]

I would do as my Mother wished. That is the decision I could look back on and not regret. Like the OP said, she knows what it looks like. HTH.

 

[diznygirl]

Hand over the album. If she feels bad, maybe she'll do something about it.

 

[minkydog]

Well, see, that's the thing. I don't think she really does see it like it is. Not that she's slipping or anything. But she has lived in it for so long that she really has rationalized the mess. There's something about seeing it in 2-D that makes you really see the clutter. I'm not out to shame her. I have tried hard to accept that this is the way she wants to live. Recently I was down there visiting and she wanted to watch that show "Hoarders." Of course, they show the worst possible cases, but still...Mother looked at me and said,"I'm not really a hoarder, I just can't let anything go." Oy~

 

[phorsenuf]

Well, see, that's the thing. I don't think she really does see it like it is. Not that she's slipping or anything. But she has lived in it for so long that she really has rationalized the mess. There's something about seeing it in 2-D that makes you really see the clutter. I'm not out to shame her. I have tried hard to accept that this is the way she wants to live. Recently I was down there visiting and she wanted to watch that show "Hoarders." Of course, they show the worst possible cases, but still...Mother looked at me and said,"I'm not really a hoarder, I just can't let anything go." Oy~

Then she knows. I don't think the pictures will be a surprise.