I have a dilemna? Would you take a trip or not (story is a little long)?

[mlwear]

I don't think you gave the dates you are thinking of taking the trip. We went last August. I'm not a FL weather expert so I don't know if it stays as hot through the end of free dining as it does in mid-August, but it was so so hot. I would not think it safe for most elderly to be in that temperature for long. Even waiting for the parades was bad. I have pics of my kids with their faces beet red from the heat (not sunburn). We consumed massive amounts of water, used misting fans and went in and out of air conditioning. Just had to throw that concern out there for your consideration.

I also must write, as a caregiver of a disabled child, I believe caregivers need breaks to be most effective. It is really important for you. IMO, if there is any way for you to take a trip with just DH, you should give it serious consideration. It may need to be shorter. You may need to be creative with her care. It seems that you are very protective of her and you definitely want the best for her, but my guess is that she may not love it but she will be OK with a respite provider of some sort while you are gone. DS would prefer that I never leave him. Sometimes he will sit at the window and wait until I get home from an evening away, which makes me feel terrible. But, those infrequent breaks (only hours at time for him as he is a child) make a huge difference in my life.
God Bless for caring so much for your mom. Good luck deciding.

 

[Bete]

It's only for 4 days (a long weekend) but I will get there and that's what counts. I will fly; so, that helps the schedule, too.

My hubby will stay home with my mom and I'll be a Disney World at the end of September. I think this works out for all of us. My mom will feel ok for that short period of time with my husband. He doesn't really care about going that much anyway.

At least I get a break this way. Also, I may do another weekend somewhere else, too.

 

[Selket]

Many years ago when my mom was dying of cancer I was her primary caretaker (quit my job and postponed grad school to move home and live with her until she died). I was 26 at the time. There is a HUGE risk of burnout when doing that kind of work - even if your mom isn't as sick it is still a lot of work and responsiblity.

It is great you're going to get out and take a trip on your own. I realize you'd like to travel with your familiy but there are benefits to getting out on your own too. I think that is a better idea at the moment cause you can get away from that caretaking role completely. I did something similar and it gave me a fresh perspective on things and helped me handle the last couple of months of her life.

Have a great trip!

 

[SplashMom]

I think you have made a wise choice and now you still get a trip! For future use however, you may want to think about having someone come in for an hour or two a day just to give you a break. If your mom becomes familiar with that person, she may not mind having him/her stay in your house while you take a vacation. Chances are that things won't get a lot better at that age. You may be in need of breaks periodically and planning for them now may make it easier later.

 

[dclfun]

Bete- I'm so glad to know you're getting a much needed vacation and some respite from caregiving...which to me is the most difficult yet loving task anyone can do. ----kathy

 

[Sue & Co.]

Just wanted to add that I think you have made a wise decision. I also agree with some of the other posters that maybe you could start to introduce one or two other caregivers in to your mothers life now whilst you are able to be around and do it gradually. You never know if you may be in an accident and be hospitalised for a while or you could get to the point of needing to get away with DH for a week or so for a break and if she was already used to somebody it would be so much easier. I work with the frail elderly and recently we had a case where we were starting to put plans in place to relieve the situation but before that could happen the husband had a breakdown because he could not cope anymore and instead of a carefully planned move to an optimum situation the lady has had to go in to emergency care wherever it could be found (I think maybe our social services are different here in UK). You need to think of yourself.

By the way it is obvious how much you love your mother and are putting her needs as top priority.

Sue