I have a Dilema - What should I do?

[MelanieC]

I have a GS troop that I already canceled a trip to the Statue of Liberty and Niagara Falls because of my situation and the war.

We picked a bunch of new places to go, and we tentatively talked about 4/5 taking them to the Camden Aqaurium in NJ. We have not made definate plans yet, and we would still have to work out logistics. We are taking them to the Teddy Bear factory on 4/26 and out to lunch.

Today I got a flier from DH's Unit for a Breakfast with the Easter Bunny with all sorts of games, pictures and fun for the kids. Because I feel alone, I really want to go. I might be able to connect with some other people who's husbands are gone.

Am I a horrible person if I decide not to take the girls that weekend. I could do it the following two Saturdays, but I am not sure if all the girls could go.

I already feel so bad about canceling the Niagara Trip. They worked so hard (as well as me) selling cookies, and we raised almost $1500 dollars which we now have to use.

I think that I am going to be selfish and push for what I want.

Melanie

 

[kejoda]

How many girls are there and what are thier ages? Do you have a co-leader? If not I would talk to the parents about this and see if they want to postpone or if its possible to get volunteers. Personally I think its important that you go to the bfast. It will help you to cope to be around people that are in the same situation.{{{{HUGS}}}} This country owes you a huge debt.

 

[sncbird]

Hi MelanieC,

As I was reading your post, I was thinking along the lines of Kejoda. See if co-leaders or other parents can help out with the field trip. I'm a Brownie Leader and I have a disability that limits me from doing everything I want to do with them but, I don't want the girls to miss out. My co-leaders and parents always pitch in!! I think it's important for you to go to the Breakfast. I'm sure the other parents will understand your situation and will be more than happy to help out!! You really need to take sometime and do what's right for yourself. Please don't feel that this is a selfish move on your part. It isn't at all. I think you would be doing yourself a huge injustice if you didn't.

Now with that being said - HOLY COW - - you made $1500 from the cookie sale!!! I have to ask how many girls are in your troop and how many boxes did you guys sell?????? That's amazing!!! We have 8 girls in our troop and sold 720 boxes making $360 for the troop. I thought that was good. I was also our Cookie Troop Co-ordinator and I thought I was going to go nuts. I can't imagine a cookie sale that big!! Good for you guys!!!

 

[jamsmom]

I agree. Try to get a volunteer to take your place. I am sure someone undestands and would be more than willing.

 

[Keli]

Melanie, I think you need to go to the breakfast too. I would first see if all the girls could reschedule, if not, then I would try to get a parent to take my place. If that didn't work then I would reschedule it anyway at a time that works out best for most of the girls. You need to do things to keep your spirits up.

 

[SuiteDisney]

You need to take care of yourself first, or you won't be able to take care of anyone else. It's not selfishness at all.

 

[Mishetta]

*********** had the perfect words! Now you go take care of "you!"

 

[MelanieC]

I have 8 girls ages 9-12. We sold 199 cases, and it was about $1480 we made. The girls worked hard (although it was me and my daughter that worked the hardest......well actually it was me, but I gave her credit!!). Her and I together sold 711 boxes by ourselves. I work at a large company, and have a good place to sell. I also was the cookie mom for our troop. Last year I had problems, and just figured it was easier to do it myself. It was sad that I ran my self ragged selling cookies and doing booths, and then weeks later DH left.

I talked to my co-leader and we decided not to do the aquarium. We are taking them to a Unit even in May (over Mothers Day) for camping. I think we decided that we will do a few small things like next Friday take them to see the Piglet movie, and take them bowling and rock climbing during our meetings. Then in June we will take them to Hershey Park (an Amusement Park) and stay over night there. We will probably do something on the way home.

I just hate letting them down, but I also didn't expect to loose my husband.

Melanie

 

[kejoda]

Sounds like you came up with a great plan to replace it. You never know it could be raining on the day of the aqaurium.

 

[tkd lisa]

Melanie: Maybe we can have a mini-meet at Hershey's Park! Our girls are going to that too!

I agree that you're doing the right thing by going to the breakfast. I'm sure your girls understand what a rough time your having right now.

I think of you often, and read your posts about your DH. You're a very strong, brave woman!

 

[TinkHappy]

Melanie ~ I feel you MUST go to the breakfast. I think you and the KIDS will benefit soooooo much. Not only will you get together with other spouses going through the same thing, but your kids will also be with other kids that know exactly what THEY are feeling. I think this is so important!! Just my own opinoin. I know you feel the girls worked so hard (and they did!!) but putting it off a week is not a big deal (My Opinion). Plus, if you get someone to take them (co-leader) you will miss out.

 

[sncbird]

Great solution Melanie and I have to say OUTSTANDING job on the Cookie Sale!!!

 

[FantasticDisFamily]

Melanie,

Those girls will understand. As a fellow troop leader it doesn't always seem like they think about anything more than themselves, boys and clothes at this age. But just about the time my co-leader and I are ready to give up and have asked ourselves "why are we doing this again?" they do something so incredibly unselfish it blows you away.

Go to the breakfast, and DON'T feel guilty about it. FABULOUS cookie sale. I've walked all of those roads and I feel your pain (are the muscles still aching from lugging the boxes! )

Take care of yourself first or there won't be anything left for DH when he gets home, your kids now, or those girls.

YIGGGS!
Deb

 

[Serena]

Go to the breakfast. You need it. The girls will understand.