I hate when people assume incorrectly -- rant warning!

[KiminChicago]

It happened again yesterday. I was in the mall, shopping for a gift for my in-laws anniversary with my DH and our two kids (7 and 4.5). I picked out a lovely piece of crystal and was waiting at the register with another woman who was buying something from a bridal registry. Well, you know how kids are, they didn't want to wait, so my DH took them aside to keep them occupied. The woman in front of me then turned to me and asked me about my "grandchildren"!!!!! I answered back, "Actually, they are my children...." The conversation ended quite quickly after that.

This is the third time this has happened to me in the past three month. The fact is, my DH and I were in our mid-thirties when we got married and my youngest was born just two weeks before my 39th birthday. I started getting gray hair when I was 25, but most people tell me that I don't look my age and they have trouble believing I'm in my 40s. So what gives with the grandchildren comments? Not everyone gets married when they are 20 anymore!

OK, rant over, I feel better now that I have that off my chest.

 

[doxdogy]

So sorry it happened. Feel free to rant anytime.

 

[Scratch42]

Has your DH been with you the other times?

Just a thought.

Rant away, people can be so cruel!

Scratch

 

[LadyAurora]

My Dh is only 8 years older than me, but he is "balding" and the hair he has left is gray, as well as his goatee. So far, I have asked about marrying an "older man"...like he's my sugar daddy or something. Most embarassing for my DH, once a bank teller thought his sister-in-law was his daughter (she is only 7 years younger than him), and on a separate occasion, that his nephew was his grandson.
I think it is a little funny, but DH doesn't like these assumptions! You would think that people know better than to guess these days.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I had my children in when I was in my 30's too. Thankfully no one ever asked if they were my grandchildren but truthfully I do not think people are being rude. I think they are just attempting to make conversation. I would have been hurt if they did ask me too BUT there is the big plus to it too. Everyone assumed all my friends were a lot older than me because they had kids graduating h.s. while mine were in elementary school. I never corrected the assumption. It drove my friends crazy!!

 

[powellrj]

I feel your pain, it happens to me all the time. My oldest was 13 when my youngest was born, and now that he is 20 and she is 7 people will think that she is his child, and we are the grandparents, even the kids in the neighbor kids think that we are the grandparents! It drives me crazy sometimes....sorry I can't help but rant about it too!!!

 

[Towncrier]

I was in the local Taco Bell recently with my two teenage children (13yo DD and 15yo DS). When they rang up my order, they gave me my drink for free. It wasn't until sometime later that I looked at the receipt and noticed the reason for the free drink. The cashier gave me the drink because she assumed that I was a senior citizen. I don't know if it was because I looked old enough to qualify as a senior citizen, or if it was because my teens look a lot older than they are, or a combination, but when we got home, my wife could not stop laughing about my qualifying as a senior citizen. I haven't been back to that Taco Bell.

FYI - I don't think that 48 qualifies me for a senior citizen discount anywhere (although I'll qualify for AARP membership in a couple of years).

 

[WDWLVR]

What I love, and I've even had someone on this site do it, is when someone assumes I'm Mark's mother, not his wife. There is a 10 year difference, but I don't think we look that far apart. Someone once even said it in front of his Mother. sigh

 

[snoopy]

Well, in your mid 40's you could certainly be a grandmother. My mother was a grandmother at 38. I don't know that I would be insulted if someone mistakenly thought my kids were my grandkids, particularly my youngest who I had at 34. I could realistically be his grandmother, albeit a young grandmother.

Now, my next door neighbor was in her early 20's when she had her kids, and someone asked HER if they were her grandkids. She was out of her mind pissed off, and I can see why! They were basically telling her she looked 15 years older then she was.

So don't feel too bad, it could be worse!

 

[4greatboys]

Well it hasnt happened to me yet but Im sure it will. My boys are 16, 13, 3 and 1. Had my 2 oldest at 22 and 25 so in thier classes Im one of the younger to average age moms. I was 35 and 37 when I had the 2 little ones, I cant wait for the granny comments once they start school, especially by the time they hit high school, lol.

 

[Tiggerkeeper]

I had my first child at 22 and my father was 22 when I was born. When the three of us would go out to eat I noticed people would give Daddy dirty looks! As if he married a young thing and had a baby at his age! We still laugh about it to this day!

 

[Cindy B]

LOL Towncrier... I was just dying over here about that one...


See, Jeff is follicly challenged as well... so you know... he's not that much behind you actually..

Well, Kim.. I have a friend that adopted two special needs kids at the young age of 48! Her husband is about the same age, with a grey hair, beard, mustache as well.

Now the kids are 7/8 years old so that makes them both 50 plus!


She got mistaken for the grandmother a ton especially when they were newborns.. or even worse the nanny!

And you know what.. my mom got married at 19, had both of us by 21.. so I wouldn't be terribly offended.

My grandmother got married at 15 (!), had kids at 16, and was a grandmother by her late 30's.. so its not a big deal

 

[disykat]

My mom has been asked about her great grandchildren when she's with my kids. I think that's pretty weird - wouldn't you just say grandchildren to play it safe?

No one has called me grandma to my kids yet, but they have asked about my older kids - assuming I have others and the ones I'm with are just tagalongs, I guess!

 

[FreshTressa]

Yah, and even if you DO think it is the grandparents, just say parents instead and make the grandparents feel good! Err on the side of NICENESS!

 

[honeywolf7]

When I was in school and people saw my parents for the first time, I always got comments on my grandparents (particularly if it was my father they saw....my father was 41 when I was born and my mom was almost 35.) I had my daughter at age 20 and my son when I was 23, so I don't think that that will be a problem for me. I do get people who can't believe that I'm old enough to have an almost 7 year old daughter that I didn't have when I was a teenager, though.

 

[Kabuli1]

I don't think I've ever posted to this board . . . but . . .

One time I was traveling w/my husband and my boss - all of us were 40 at the time. We were on a garden tour (Mark, my boss, a well known horticulturalist) and for some reason Mark was bored so while DH and I politely toured the garden, Mark sat there drinking some soda - slouching on the porch and I was asked how old my son was!!!! OUCH! What makes that even worse is that he is actually exactly two weeks older than I! From then on he called me "Mom"! AND I don't look old - he just looks like a kid and his behavior was very teenage that day! But, really!

Karyn

 

[Mermaid02]

I NEVER assume things like that- it can get you in lots of trouble!!

The other extreme of that, I was 22 when I had my dd, but I looked 15 or 16..... I don't remember anyone actually saying anything, but I got LOTS of looks from people.

 

[olena]

*HUGS* I'm sorry. Some people just don't think.

 

[Fire14]

The one that rubbed me wrong way was I was in grocery store with my mom and Niece and some lady came up to me and statred reading me riot act about being a teenager and having a kid and she was probablly paying for it etc.
I went off on her so bad it wasn't funny I told her it wasn't me kid and I was paying for it just as much as she was, was actually 24 and next time she would be better off not assuming things. Teenage pregancy has been a very touchy subject with me for a long time.

 

[FOJMO]

It's sad that that happened, but if you look the part, that's the way it goes...

Almost as bad as that, though, is when someone asks you when you are "expecting" and you're not even pregnant!!!

That one happened to me many years ago and I just had to admit that I probably looked like it...