I hate 2 be selfish

[1queen]

My best friends mom has lung cancer and my family's Disney trip is in 11 days. Should I not go to Disney if she passes away right near the trip? I do know her mom and have known this family for 25 years. I hate to be selfish, but I have 2 little girls. We did not get trip insurance.

 

[Nancy F]

If only for the kids. I'm sure your friend will understand. I know I would.
Nancy

 

[Cat0727]

you should at least go to the funeral, imo.

 

[auntie]

Is she doing poorly at this moment? My aunt had lung cancer(and never smoked a day in her life, but that's another post all together)...she fought it for quite some time. Is she end stage at this point? Is she in Hospice care?
Will the family have a wake, or just a funeral service. If they have a wake, I would try to make that. Your friend will need you more once her mom is gone. Be there for her then.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My best friends mom has lung cancer and my family's Disney trip is in 11 days. Should I not go to Disney if she passes away right near the trip? I do know her mom and have known this family for 25 years. I hate to be selfish, but I have 2 little girls. We did not get trip insurance.

I would not expect a friend to cancel a vacation because my mom died.

 

[krcit]

My mom is in ICUright now and it's not looking good for her. That being said, I would never want my best friend to skip a planned trip with her kids if she had one planned and my mom passed.

 

[quasar4legs]

Honestly, I would not want my friend to cancel a family vacation to be at my mother's funeral but I do have a lot of supportive extended family.

When my dad died I found the lead up and the day of funeral all past in a blur, it was in the weeks after his death that I appreciated the support.

I don't think you are being selfish at all, you sound like a very thoughtful friend.

Quasar

 

[1queen]

My mom is in ICUright now and it's not looking good for her. That being said, I would never want my best friend to skip a planned trip with her kids if she had one planned and my mom passed.

So sorry about your mom. I think I would feel the same about her leaving for vacation, but you never know until you are in that situation. Her mom is also in ICU. I know you can never know what may happen, but I do know we must anticipate she does not have much longer. If it weren't for my kids, I could maybe make some different arrangements, but our savings and lots of planning are on the line.

 

[anniemae]

If I were in your friends shoes, I would not expect you to cancel your trip.

What is equally important (in my opinion) is being there for your friend after the wake, after the funeral, when the meals stop coming, when the sympathy cards stop coming etc.

I think you should still go on your vacation, and you can still call her and send flowers etc. from Florida.

 

[can84]

My mom passed from lung cancer last year, and I would have been even more upset if one of my friends missed out on their trip. My world may have stopped for a little while, but I know everyone else's went on. Plus I needed my friends more after the fact, when I'd go to pick up the phone to call my mom, and realized I couldn't. My friends got a lot of calls.


to krcit. I will hope for better news about your mom.

 

[1queen]

My mom is in ICUright now and it's not looking good for her. That being said, I would never want my best friend to skip a planned trip with her kids if she had one planned and my mom passed.

If I were in your friends shoes, I would not expect you to cancel your trip.

What is equally important (in my opinion) is being there for your friend after the wake, after the funeral, when the meals stop coming, when the sympathy cards stop coming etc.

I think you should still go on your vacation, and you can still call her and send flowers etc. from Florida.

Yes, I will send flowers and call daily.

 

[qtwns]

When my father died unexpectedly, my best friend had a trip to Hawaii planned with her father. She said she was going to stay to be with me; I told her she'd better not! We were both looking out after each other and that is what true friends do. I felt more comfort knowing she was with her dad when I couldn't be with mine. Your friend will understand.

 

[ckret01]

Do what you feel in your heart. I know it's a hard decision.

If I were in your shoes with a friend of 25 years I would probably cancel or reschedule my trip.

 

[DebbieB]

I know when my mom died, the hard part was after the funeral, after everyone else went back to "normal life". That's when I really needed a friend.

I think it would depend on your friend's support around her. Does she have family members who will be around her? Other friends? If she does, then I would go but keep in contact.

 

[stasijane]

Have you discussed any of this with your friend? I realize being close to the family makes it hard, but you have a family of your own, and I wouldnt want my friends to miss an opportunity of a good vacation on a chance that something might happen to my mother.

 

[1queen]

I know when my mom died, the hard part was after the funeral, after everyone else went back to "normal life". That's when I really needed a friend.

I think it would depend on your friend's support around her. Does she have family members who will be around her? Other friends? If she does, then I would go but keep in contact.

She has a brother and his wife, a husband and several uncles. They are also Christians and have a church family. I have brought several meals already to help out, sent cards, and I talk with her everyday about it. I am so hoping I don't have to make this decision.

 

[NikkiLovesWDW!]

She has a brother and his wife, a husband and several uncles. They are also Christians and have a church family. I have brought several meals already to help out, sent cards, and I talk with her everyday about it. I am so hoping I don't have to make this decision.

It sounds like you have done so much for your friend already. My best friend's father passed away the day we got to WDW in 2007. We knew he wasn't going to make it and considered canceling but she absolutely forbade it! We told her we'd come back but she said no way! My mom went to the funeral, sort of as our representative. I think your friend would feel worse if you canceled your trip.

You are a good friend.

 

[1queen]

Have you discussed any of this with your friend? I realize being close to the family makes it hard, but you have a family of your own, and I wouldnt want my friends to miss an opportunity of a good vacation on a chance that something might happen to my mother.

I plan on discussing it with her if in a few days if we see no improvement. I just didn't want her to think I was giving up on a miracle, or didn't have faith.

 

[sistersledge24]

I would talk to your friend about it so she knows you do not want to leave her. I am sure she will understand that it is important to go for your kids.

 

[LoriABil]

The fact that you are fretting over this is a good sign that you are NOT selfish. Be there for her now, and things will work out!
I'm sure she would understand about the trip, but as the saying goes, "Don't worry about tomorrow. Today has enough worries of it's own." or something like that.