I got that dreaded phone call yesterday!

[Sgt Mickey]

glad he is okay. How scary. I hope the other boy is alright.

 

[AnnaS]

I am happy to hear that everyone is okay. What a scary feeling for everyone involved. It affects everyone.

My son's have been driving a few years now (24 and 22) and I have finally learned to relax just a tiny little bit with them but I now have a 17 year old daughter who just got her license last month.

She is still only driving with my husband and drives about three times a week. I keep telling her to take the car alone and drive the neighborhood but she is in no hurry and I won't rush her. When she finally does drive on her own, from that point on, I think she also needs at least 6 months before having anyone in her car. My sons were the opposite, they took off as soon as they got home from passing their test.

My heart is in my mouth and it won't come out until they have had at least 1 year of experience behind them ....

 

[Handbag Lady]

What a nightmare, I am so sorry.

This was my parents' worse nightmare, too. Our rule was that if we were driving anyone, the seatbelts were on. They knew this was going to be hard for me and my sister, as we were a "car" family and we had five cars for four people.

My parents instructed us to do as follows: When everyone is in the car, the driver HAS to check seat belts. If some are not on, you were to just sit there and not say anything and DO NOT START THE CAR. Of course, your friends by now are going to razz you to GO GO GO. You don't. You just sit and don't answer them. When it gets to the point of annoying, the driver is to stare at the non-seatbelt wearer until they get it. It was quite humorous after a while and helped with the peer pressure. Humor always won for us. The car was only to be started once all others had their belts on.

I hope this helps someone else. It worked for us.


To this day, even when driving colleagues at lunch, I do this. It was funny at 16 and it is funny at 41.


And as to how my parents made us do this: We would lose our cars if we were ever caught and we wouldn't be allowed to drive until the age of 25. My dad had our cars (even though we paid for them) in his name and he always followed through on his threats. I had no reason to doubt he wouldn't have done it then.






I hope and pray that the young people injured in this accident all heal quickly.

 

[iwrbnd]

he was life flighted? seems unusual for those injuries. That will be a heft bill I am sure.

Glad to hear everyone is ok and best of luck to you OP.

Yes, he was having trouble breathing (bruised lung) and they were being extra cautious. Luckily he's much better off than he could have been! Sounds like he'll be released from the hospital today.

I know from now on my I will make all my kids have restricted passengers much longer than the 6 months we put on my son. Maybe one year is better!

 

[puffkin]

I am glad everyone is ok. I would also at a minimum talk to your insurance agent and possibly speak to an attorney. Once those medical bills come in, the other families may not be so understanding.

I also cannot stress enough the seat belt thing. 8 years ago this Sunday my 17 year old brother was killed in a car crash (single car crash, lost control on a turn). He was not wearing his seatbelt and was ejected from the car. My parents had been constantly on his case about seat belts, but he was a typical teen and didn't believe the rules applied to him. He was alone in his car (thankfully), but his friends were following and witnessed the entire thing. My parents had forbidden him to not drive with friends but they hadn't taken the car away when he refused to listen about the seatbelt. They live with that guilt everyday now.

 

[Arielle22]

In my town, the leading cause of teen death is car accidents. The average is 1-2 per year. We have lots of dark twisty roads.

My older dd is 16 but doesn't have a permit yet. Here in MA there is a law that for a certain amount of time (maybe 6 months) after getting your license if you are a teen you cannot have other teens outside of family in the car with you. There is also a seatbelt law but you cannot be stopped for it. If you are stopped for another violation and the cop see someone without a seat belt you can be ticketed.

My BIL is a cop and has told some pretty gruesome stories about being people ejected from cars while not wearing seatbelts (cars landing on them).

Just the thought of my dd driving is enough to give me chills.

OP, glad to hear everyone is ok. You should definitely report it to your insurance company.

 

[iwrbnd]

It's been a long day but it looks like all kids are going to be okay. The boy sent to the hospital is being discharged! He's hurt but will heal! We've talked to our insurance company and it looks like it pays for everyone's medical bills. We have umbrella insurance, too, which will help. So, it will be very expensive for our insurance company (and I'm sure our future rates) but at least it will be taken care of. The other families won't need to file any suit because ours is just paying for it, at least that's what they told us. I'm thanking God all day for protecting those 4 kids! (The boy in the hospital was ejected from the car!)

Always wear your seat belt!

Thank you God for protecting four precious lives yesterday!

 

[Briarmom]

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

That is how I am. Anyone who doesn't want to wear a seatbelt must exit my vehicle. No exceptions.

I have this rule as well. When I was a kid, my father and I used to have seatbelt races when we got in the car- it made it fun and really instilled the habit.

I remember somebody posted a few months ago a link to a UK ad for seatbelt use- it showed in very graphic detail the damage an unbelted passenger can do to the other passengers in the car. The start of it said something like, "today, __________ is going to hit his girlfriend so hard she will be in a coma for three weeks." It then goes on to show the accident. Like I said, very graphic, but gets the point across. You might want to look it up and show it to your son and his friends (Obviously not right away, give them a chance to recover from what happened.) The poor boy learned his lesson the hard way, thankfully the one not wearing his seat belt was not killed. Hopefully he will remember what happened the next time he gets into a car.

 

[ZuZugal]

We live in Illinois and my DS16 has had his license for almost a year. In our state it is a law that any driver under the age of 18 can have only ONE passenger (under the age of 20 I believe) in the vehicle with them for the first year after getting their license. (they can have siblings/step sibs and their own children though.)

I can't tell you how this has saved us from being the "bad guy" and making rules for him about not having more than 1 friend in the car when he is driving. I just assumed that most other states had this law as well.

Hugs to the OP! Glad to hear everyone is doing ok.

 

[golfgal]

Thank you everybody! I've been in a trance all day. I finally talked to the other boys mom. He has a broken hand, rib and bruised lung. He may be released from the hospital today. I am relieved he wasn't hurt worse! We all feel so bad. I told my son his car in not to go into drive until everyone has their seatbelt on. Well, I guess I was talking in another language because he obviously didn't do it. The thing is, I've seen this other boy not wear a seat belt in my son's car. I talked to my son and to this boy multiple times about it. We even banned him from my son's car for 3 months because of this and being wild and distracting in the car. I even called his mom at one point to tell her he wasn't wearing his seatbelt and remind her my son is a new driver. This mom was telling the boy, too. Unfortunately, talking to a teenager is sometimes like talking to a wall!

My first concern is obviously with the health of these boys but I have been wondering about liability. Everyone is friends but I know that can turn. What kind of phone call do I need to make to protect myself? Somebody was mentioning that today.

I can say from now on my son (When he gets to drive again at age 35!) will only be allowed one other person in the car. I wish I had enforced that rule earlier. Just about a month ago I thought about doing that and then remembered my high school years and how much fun I had driving my friends around. It's so hard knowing how much to protect and how much independence to have! Parenting teens is the hardest thing I've ever had to do!

Kids think they are immortal and that is the real problem. Unfortunately it usually takes something like this to happen before they ever listen.

It's been a long day but it looks like all kids are going to be okay. The boy sent to the hospital is being discharged! He's hurt but will heal! We've talked to our insurance company and it looks like it pays for everyone's medical bills. We have umbrella insurance, too, which will help. So, it will be very expensive for our insurance company (and I'm sure our future rates) but at least it will be taken care of. The other families won't need to file any suit because ours is just paying for it, at least that's what they told us. I'm thanking God all day for protecting those 4 kids! (The boy in the hospital was ejected from the car!)

Always wear your seat belt!

Thank you God for protecting four precious lives yesterday!

GOOD!!!! We doubled our umbrella coverage when DS17 started driving just for this reason.

 

[MelanieC]

((HUGS)) - I can't even imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with the boy and his family as well as your family. Hang in there.

 

[N.Bailey]

Just weighing in to say that I too have been there, done that. That call is truly the worst call you can receive as a parent. I was so thrown when the call came in that I couldn't even find the number to phone my husband at work. I was literally falling apart at the seams.

Fortunately, like you, it all worked out in the end and no one was hurt. My son was taken to the nearest trauma unit, while the others were taken to our local hospital. That thought scared the crap out of me more than anything. It was a long hour and a half there. Learning about the accident, then finally appearing at the ER where he was (it's an hour trip). Thankfully, he was taken there for precautionary concerns because the airbags had him dazed.

My son was driving too, so I understand how heavy it weighs on you. We can both thank God everyone lived to tell the tale another day. I know how fortunate I am, and it really brings tears to my eyes that some families are not as blessed as we are.

 

[iwrbnd]

Thank you everyone for you support and stories. I don't feel so alone when I read them. Our town is being very good, too. It's a small town and is huge news...which I'm embarrassed to say is actually embarrassing! Why? Anyway, I'm in such a daze. I keep thinking of the "what ifs" and wondering what I did wrong. Mostly I'm thankful but I also feel guilty that my son was driving. So many emotions that I'm just exhausted! It's nice to be reminded other people have gone through this and have come out the other side. I do realize how fortunate we are that nobody was killed! I'm also terrified I have 4 kids to get through the teen years! I'm feeling so tired and overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenting right now! I just want to go to bed for a week...or go to Disney for a week!

 

[N.Bailey]

It's been a long day but it looks like all kids are going to be okay. The boy sent to the hospital is being discharged! He's hurt but will heal! We've talked to our insurance company and it looks like it pays for everyone's medical bills. We have umbrella insurance, too, which will help. So, it will be very expensive for our insurance company (and I'm sure our future rates) but at least it will be taken care of. The other families won't need to file any suit because ours is just paying for it, at least that's what they told us. I'm thanking God all day for protecting those 4 kids! (The boy in the hospital was ejected from the car!)

Always wear your seat belt!

Thank you God for protecting four precious lives yesterday!

I see you went back and added the picture. I thought I'd share my son's. Looks like 2 totaled cars.

 

[IDoDis]

How scary! Thanks God everyone is okay.

OP, call your doctor tomorrow and ask for something to help you take the edge off. This truly is a mom's worst nightmare. My DS's only niece swerved on a highway on her way home one evening. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was thrown from the car and died. She was 18. I'll never forget her funeral which took place on the reservation where she lived since her dad was Native American. They do funerals the old fashioned way so no make-up or embalming, and no coffin. Just seeing how banged up she was is forever engraved in my brain. I fear the day my kids start to drive. I really do!

 

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

he was life flighted? seems unusual for those injuries. That will be a heft bill I am sure.

Glad to hear everyone is ok and best of luck to you OP.

Not for an unrestrained passenger with a collapsed lung, especially a teenager. If he was unrestrained, chances are he was flung around the inside of the car or possibly ejected from it. And if the OP has full coverage insurance, it will handle the medical bills. Now if the families decide to file a civil lawsuit trying to say the OP's son was negligent, that may be another story.

I work in an ER and just this past weekend 3 adults were in a single car accident. None were wearing seat belts, all were ejected, and the driver died at the scene. It's not just children who fail to see the safety in wearing those belts. My parents drilled it in my head since I can remember and to this day if you get in my car and don't put your belt on automatically, I will ask you to put it on and the car will remain in park until you do so or get out.

OP, glad your son and his friends are ok. I'm sure that the boy that was injured will wear it from now on, as will the other boys. It sounds like a very scary experience.

 

[mamamary]

 

[iwrbnd]

How scary! Thanks God everyone is okay.

OP, call your doctor tomorrow and ask for something to help you take the edge off. This truly is a mom's worst nightmare. My DS's only niece swerved on a highway on her way home one evening. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was thrown from the car and died. She was 18. I'll never forget her funeral which took place on the reservation where she lived since her dad was Native American. They do funerals the old fashioned way so no make-up or embalming, and no coffin. Just seeing how banged up she was is forever engraved in my brain. I fear the day my kids start to drive. I really do!

What a sad story about that young girl! It puts it in perspective how fortunate we all are here! I'm feeling better now that I've seen the hurt boy. He was discharged yesterday and they actually stopped by my house. It was so good to see him smile! That was the best medicine of all! All the teens were at my house and the "hurt boy" said "Why am I the only one that got hurt?" Everybody yelled at the same time "BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T WEARING YOUR SEATBELT!!!" It was almost comical! I hope he was just kidding or he needs another CT scan!

I have to say that I've often thought we were paying too much in insurance every month but I'm so glad we were! State Farm Insurance has been absolutely fabulous through this so far! It was such a relief to hear them say "Don't worry. We're here for you and taking care of it!" Thank you State Farm! And thank you again Disfriends for helping me through this!

 

[Shmily1]

I'm so glad it is all working out for you. You have four lucky young men there!

I had helped raise my DB because my parents were very sickly. One morning, my friend came to get me at work and take me to the hospital because he was in an accident. He was on his way to high school his senior year and going across a train track with no crossing arms, lights, or signs with the sun in his face and never saw the train coming. By the time I got the hospital, he was gone. DM was in shock, DDad was just staring in space, and I was 5 months pregnant and bawling my eyes out. I can't say it's exactly the same as losing my child, but since I had almost raised him, it was close to being the same. I'm so glad none of the four families in your community had to go through that. The empty chair at graduation was bone chilling.