I dread being in a wheelchair because of the stares

[BirdLegsRed]

I had posted this on another forum, but someone suggested I post here instead.

I am going to have to be in a wheelchair for our Disney trip. I have a bad knee, and I just can't walk that far. It doesn't help that I am pooh sized. But my knee started hurting me 9 years ago, when I was a good 100lbs lighter. My mom, and aunt had bad knees, and they are both thin, so I guess it just runs in the family.

My mom died suddenly in February and I've put on another 30 lbs since then. I have lost 10 of them so far. I'm trying to walk on the treadmill every day after work, if my knee isn't hurting too bad, and I am going to start doing it in the morning too, if I can. And trying to quit stress eating and eating healthier foods.

I just dread it. I had to do this sometimes last year and would get such mean looks from people. Now, I'm not one of those who gets in line ahead of everyone else, or anything. We park it outside of attractions and I walk in. But people just looked at me with disgust, I know because I am pooh sized. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but it really hurts my feelings just the same.

I don't know why I posted this, I guess I am feeling down about it, and maybe wanted to hear if anyone else was or has been in the same situation? Its really affecting my excitement of the trip.

 

[MagiKitty]

I'm sorry you're feeling down. But don't let the idea that some people will stare at you take anything away from the joy of being able to go on vacation and enjoy the most wonderful place on earth.

Keep up with the walking and try to build up your stamina. Use the chair and walk around a bit everyday while you're at the parks.

I'm a big girl too, and my Bf uses crutches due to his CP. He's not thrilled to use a wheelchair while we're on vacation, but really, his pride is not going to ruin our trip! Its much better to enjoy our time rather than him hurting himself because he'd rather walk.

Unfortunately, there are mean and hurtful people in this world. They are everywhere, not just at WDW. Feel sorry for them because they let others affect their vacations and that they are so shallow and self-absorbed that they don't realize how they hurt other people. We have to share our world with people of all sorts, and that is really a beautiful thing.

Its a hard life sometimes. But it can be so wonderful too. Let me know if I can help you at all. I've been through it too and its taken me a long time to just appreciate what I have and all my blessings, even if it isn't perfect.

 

[Cheryl592000]

I certainly know how you feel. I am sized also with many joint problems. I will be using an ECV on our next trip. I hate the fact that some people are so shallow and insecure about themselves that they feel the need to pick on others. But, don't let them spoil your fun! The worst moment for me was the 1st time using an ECV and backing onto the bus. I was the center of attention that day. But, some people waiting in the line as they watched me were very encouraging and said that I looked like a pro. I believe not as many people will be staring at you as you think. Most of them are so lost and enthralled the in moment of Disney, that they will not give our issues a second glance.
Have a great time and don't let anyone else ruin your good times...ever!

 

[MagiKitty]

Hey Cheryl, we're arriving on the 27th too! I'll cheer you on if you promise not to stare at us, ok? we'll be at All Sports....

 

[mrsksomeday]

BirdLegsRed , I know it can feel like people are looking at you with disgust because you are pooh sized, in a wheelchair etc. I am overweight as well and there are 2 things we can do about it.

1) Let mean people ruin our trip, or
2) Give them a smile and continue on our way because in the end a stranger interaction that we have at WDW lasts minutes and what they think doesn't matter

I know it hurts and it isn't easy to just let it go. I found in my situation, I am worried that people are going to look at me judgmentally therefore I am overly sensitive about it because I know I need to lose the weight.

People don't know about your bad knees or your Mom passing (I am so sorry to hear about that , losing a Mom is one of the hardest things that can happen to you). If someone feels the need to judge you in the happiest place on Earth they aren't doing Disney correctly now are they?

Hold your head high, have a good time, I would think your Mom would want you to have a magical time. We are here when ever you need or want to talk.

 

[Jeanieblue114]

I can really relate because I have been crying about this for the last couple of days.
I am a big girl but have always managed to walk around Disney. But, last week I hurt my heel and walking is extremely painful.
We will be at Disney on Sept. 29th.
I just rented a scooter for the trip.
I am not looking forward to the rude people. They will assume I need the scooter because of my weight. They don't realize I hurt my heel and normally walk there.
I wish I had the right thing to say to someone who might make a comment. I don't want to propagate the rudeness by saying something rude. But I do like to stand up for myself.
Sometimes I have children stare at me or make a comment. They are obviously curious when they see someone who is different from the "norm". I have learned to say to them "God makes everyone different".

I wish I had something just as good to say to someone who might make a comment while I'm using a scooter, besides yelling at them and telling them they have NO right to ruin my vacation.

Would running the rude people over be a MAJOR issue?
I will be a first time driver and if I say "oopsy" maybe that would help?
Maybe they would be the ones needing the scooter then and learn a little lesson?

 

[bmurr33]

Hey BirdLegsRed,

Don't even give it a second thought! Forget those people, they are morons. A few years back I CRUSHED my left leg playing ice hockey 3 weeks before a trip to Vegas. Both the tibia and fibula needed rods, plates, and a total of 10 screws. Then, come to find out, when I went in for surgery, that the posterior tibial tendon was no longer in one piece. The time frame for STARTING to walk on my own again was 3 months. I still went on the trip, but like and idiot, I decided to try and "tough" it out on crutches. Big mistake!!! I should have used every asset available to me in order to enjoy my trip, but I just had to be a tough guy, hahahaha! I learned my lesson though! Anyway, just go and enjoy yourself, you will be in the happiest place on earth, if that can't cheer you up, nothing can! Have a great time!!!

 

[mickey grandmom]

We will be checking in at AS 9/28. Just got off the phone with WDW because I forgot AS does not have an elevator. So I was calling to make sure we would have a room on the ground floor. They said I would.
This will be my the first time at DW to use a wheelchair. I am dreading it too.
The last DW trip ,four years ago, I walked. It was very hard. At that time I told my DH,I didn't know if I could ever do that again. Four years later I am worse. Part of my dread is admitting I need a wheelchair;part is not knowing what to expect. But if other people react to me in a negative way,I will just smile at them and wish in my heart that they would never find themselves in similar circumstance. Life is too short and Disney too happy a place to not enjoy every moment. Hope your time there is the best ever.

 

[peemagg]

I went for the first time this past May in an ECV. I had no nasty stares or comments (at least none that I noticed). Don't worry about the idiots out there. Just have fun and ignore any of the idiots.

 

[alizesmom]

Do what you need to do to make your trip more enjoyable. Have fun! Karen

 

[ireland_nicole]

ok, for the last trip we were, I admit, a sight. 2 ECV's, 2 kids in a stroller with a wheelchair tag on it, and an autism awareness button. I figured we were going to get looks anyway, so everyday I tried to wear something outrageous on my head; let's face it, not hard to do at Disney; you know, minnie ears, etc. Then if I coulght anybody looking, I'd just say- aren't these ears great! I know it's hard to stop looking at them, they're just too cute!- most people got the message real quick, and I had a pleasant interaction.

 

[mrsksomeday]

I figured we were going to get looks anyway, so everyday I tried to wear something outrageous on my head; let's face it, not hard to do at Disney; you know, minnie ears, etc. Then if I coulght anybody looking, I'd just say- aren't these ears great! I know it's hard to stop looking at them, they're just too cute!- most people got the message real quick, and I had a pleasant interaction.

I love this!! Good for you.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

It's the unfortunate fact you'll probably get stares and rude comments. It's easy to stay just let it roll off your back like rain on a duck but it's hard. We've gotten comments that my father is just blind, not disabled so he should have to stand in line like everyone else, that the guide dog is a fake and just our pet, that he's faking being blind to get the perks, etc. It's ridiculous.

The best thing I can say is I know a lot of people who use the wheelchairs and ECV's short term injuries or for stamina issues rather than "handicaps" feel guilty, but you shouldn't. Those things are put in place for people to use who have a need for it, and I consider a broken foot or someone who maybe can walk for a bit but gets winded easily a need. You shouldn't feel anything like "well that person is worse off, or more handicapped than me". Not everyone's issues are visible, you can't look at someone and say they look paralyzed like you can see someone is obviously missing a limb or something of that nature. The way I figure it, if someone is giving you the look or trouble and think you're faking, it's because they've considered faking it and at the moment are mad they didn't. They don't always realize that handicap lines don't mean front of the line. It can mean seperate loading area or waiting for an accessible vehicle. We waiting 40 min in the handicap loading area of Toy Story Mania because there was a large wheelchair group in front of us and they took a long time to board on and off, keep in mind the stand by line was only 30 min (I doubt it's ever happened again lol).

All in all, don't feel bad, people are jerks no matter where you are and chances are you'll never see them again so if it makes you feel better, stick your tongue out at them!

 

[BirdLegsRed]

THanks guys for all the replies! And about sticking my tongue out at them! I love that!

Another question...when we do rides I just park it at the stroller entrance and walk in...but what about Main Street in and out of all the shops? Theres no place to leave it outside, is there? And I don't want to go in there in one if I can help it.

I know, I know I won't ever see these people again. But I am very sensitive about my weight, so its hard.

 

[mickey grandmom]

I'm planning on leaving the wheelchair at one of the little side streets where there isn't much traffic. All the shops in MK are interconnected. I will use my cane in the stores and when I get to the end,if I can't make it back to the chair my DH will go and pick it up for me. At the other parks I will just find a quite place outside the building and hope it is not in anyones way.

 

[PJB71]

Hi everyone

I have been reading your messages and just felt I had to respond (hope you don't mind?)

I had a serious car accident 16years ago which left be severly disabled. I can't walk any distance and have to use 2canes.

I went through year of feeling embarrased felling like people were looking at me and DH i,e trying to do the weekly shop in the supermarket, with one of those carts that you attach a shoppling trolley to, and then when I had my 2DD's (through treatment of Course) I felt people were always stairing and thinking "How is she able to manage with those kids" oh and believe me I did. There was many a time when I used to cry because I couldn't take them to the park like ""Normal Mums Could"" DH used to console me (and still does bless him) by making sense and telling me although I couldn't do things like that I probably gave my girls more time, love and affection than normal able bodied people as we would spend our time reading books, playing games, drawing etc, etc, anything you could do sitting down weve done it!!

About 10years ago I got my 1st ECV and it just gave me a new lease of life, I could take my girls to the library(one sitting on my knee and one holding the basket on the front), playgroup, etc, etc, and did I care if people staired? NO I DID NOT, because you know what, I relised that it was them that had the problem, ok I had a problem, my legs didn't work properly, but I was out enjoying myself again, and how dare they judge me.

My trusted ECV has been coming to Disney with me now for more years than I care to remember, and I love to see the look on peoples faces when they see this middle aged woman (I'm being kind to myself!!") who looks pretty normal charging up main street USA and then the next thing is I un-hook my canes from the back and stand up and walk for a metre (can't manage much more) and believe me there expressions change!!!

I suppose what i'm trying to say - although I do waffle i'm sorry!!! is it dosnt matter how old you are, what colour or shape you are, or why you have a wheelchair or ECV in the 1st place it's nobody's business in the end, and as long as you are having fun (else what's the alternative? sitting at home and being miserable??) then who CARES!!!! life is too short so we have to make the most of everday and enjoy it.

Now start making plans and start to get excited about your vacations!!!!

 

[dclfun]

Just wanted to add that All Star Sports DOES have elevators, and accessible rooms, if needed, are located on the upper floors also. The only resort without elevators in all buildings are CBR and OKW. Those of us who live in wheelchairs learn to live with the stares or comments- just ignore it. I'm at WDW right now and you will be one of many using an ECV-more and more people are finding the courage to use one and just go ahead an enjoy being able to go on vacation vs. possibly staying at home or limiting the time they can be out and about. The only warning I will give you is that you might have long wait times for busses but it will give you time to get to know the families waiting with you. ---Kathy

 

[LockShockBarrel]

I'm not even considered pooh sized, more cute and fluffy and I'm still very sensitive about my weight too. I won't wear shorts because I'm convinced people are staring at my thighs, I won't wear tanktops because my arms jiggle. I wear shorts over a bathing suit and only swim at night. It's an unfortunate result of our culture, and even though part of me is glad I have a chest and hips and I won't shatter if I ever give birth, another part of me is horribly ashamed of it.

An interesting thing to look into is other cultures stance on body image. Some tribal people love big bodies because it shows wealth to them, that someone is "rich" enough to have access to more food and other things like that.

No one should be able to tell you how to feel, but we can try to help. Think of it as people just don't have their Mickey ears on straight.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Just remember why you are on your trip and to heck with everyone else!

I have had multiple foot and ankle surgeries in my short life and there were a few occasions when I had to be in a chair during a family trip. You think you'll get stares as an adult? Try being 7 in a wheelchair! The stares and the comments are a lot to handle! But I didn't care. I knew being in the chair was what was best for my recovery.

Don't worry about what other people think. You can't tell someone is hurting by the way they look and it's pathetic for others to judge. You need to make sure to take care of yourself on your trip. If you are in pain and struggling, then so is the rest of the people you are going with. It's not worth it.

My mom is leaving tomorrow for 6 days in the World and while she is still considered Pooh-sized, she has lost over 40 lbs. She had a knee replacement at 56. She also has fibromyalgia. There is no way she can handle the walking down there and she's renting a scooter. She has had stares and comments of why she's "lazy" but she brushes them off, she just reminds herself that she is doing what is best for her.

Keep your chin up and keep with your routine of walking. Keeping mobile is going to be the best thing for you but play your trip smart. Disney is all about the Magic and wonder and you should do your best to absorb as much as you can, and the best way to do that is to take care of your self.

 

[Jeanieblue114]

Just remember why you are on your trip and to heck with everyone else!

I have had multiple foot and ankle surgeries in my short life and there were a few occasions when I had to be in a chair during a family trip. You think you'll get stares as an adult? Try being 7 in a wheelchair! The stares and the comments are a lot to handle! But I didn't care. I knew being in the chair was what was best for my recovery.

Don't worry about what other people think. You can't tell someone is hurting by the way they look and it's pathetic for others to judge. You need to make sure to take care of yourself on your trip. If you are in pain and struggling, then so is the rest of the people you are going with. It's not worth it.

My mom is leaving tomorrow for 6 days in the World and while she is still considered Pooh-sized, she has lost over 40 lbs. She had a knee replacement at 56. She also has fibromyalgia. There is no way she can handle the walking down there and she's renting a scooter. She has had stares and comments of why she's "lazy" but she brushes them off, she just reminds herself that she is doing what is best for her.

Keep your chin up and keep with your routine of walking. Keeping mobile is going to be the best thing for you but play your trip smart. Disney is all about the Magic and wonder and you should do your best to absorb as much as you can, and the best way to do that is to take care of your self.

I would just love to know why anyone would ever think that they have the right to call someone "LAZY"? Especially someone they don't know when they don't know your circumstances.
I am going to assume that I will not hear such comments while enjoying my vacation.
But, when I take this trip in 2 weeks and use an ECV for the first time, if anyone decides that they have the right to voice their opinion that I am lazy, they are going to get an earful (while I remain a lady of course).
They are going to get the opportunity to enjoy a free etiquette lesson and hear that:
1. It is very inappropriate to make such comments, particularly in a place such as Disney where everyone is enjoying a relaxing vacation.
2. That despite my larger size, I have walked Disney for the past 35 years (including this past July) and just happened to injure my foot 2 weeks earlier.
3. I am an attorney and that is hardly a career path for the 'Lazy'.
And I will explain to them that I paid the same for my trip and they have no right to pass an INCORRECT judgment and attempt to ruin my vacation.

If they are still in my presence by this time, I will wish them a magical day!