I don't like to name missing DIS-ers....

[Colleen A.]

I have been on the boards for almost 4 years. I have seen many squabbles erupt and threads that needed to be closed because of nastiness. It just seems that very lately there have been so many NEEDLESS attacks and at times, it seems that not only do they "stick in the knife" but twist it as well! In all honesty, my comment about no more missing DISers was actually said sarcasticlly!! If you have a group of friends, in "real" life and haven't heard from one of them in awhile, don't you ask a mutual friend whether they have heard from this person or not and whether anything is wrong?? Is now looking for a "lost friend" no longer politically correct?

I know these are not MY BOARDS and those who actually own it are the ones who set the rules and guidelines. It just seems that the warmth and friendliness that attracted me to these boards so long ago is fading away. Very sad.

 

[Beauty]

I'll just be blunt here......Dan is much more important to a lot of people than other missing DISers. What he has done for us and the way we have been treated by him shows that he is a better person than the majority (myself included) when someone like him is missing or gone its just silly to think he won't be missed more than others.

Again its making silly things a big deal when they just aren't...just like the stupid moving of threads......and let me guess if I have a problem with that I can pm a webmaster or mod (like it would do any good whatsoever)......I don't have a problem with it, I'm not here enough to have a problem with it anymore......but IMO its just stupid......making big huge issues out of itty bitty things which is doing nothing but causing tons of controversy and cliques that aren't needed.

The CB used to be home and things like moving threads never happened UNLESS it was hurtful or rude or an out and out debate. You could post on the board asking for a person by name and not get reprimanded, you could ask for missing DISers and not get reprimanded, you could ask for advice on ANYTHING including Disney and it was okay......and it was FUN, CARING, and USEFUL! Now its just do this, don't do this, its my way or the highway.....its just silly, we aren't children.

Whew....I feel better now!

 

[Saffron]

No offense Colleen, but I would hate to see a rule about not asking about people. If you send someone a PM and they don't answer and you don't see them around, wouldn't that make you wonder what happened to them all the more? I noticed KaraKW missing for months and wondered if things were all right with her. PMing her and not getting a response and not seeing her, would make me wonder all the more. But -- she had been in touch with people and she is doing fine, just real busy. That put my heart and mind at ease.

In my opinion, the CB should feel like a city block where everyone is friendly. Some people do things together more than others, some people play with the kids, some people host the parties, some people complain about all their woes, some people belong to the neighborhood watch, some people brag about their kids, some people always have their pets with them etc. When it comes down to it, we're all part of the same neighborhood so to speak, sitting on our stoops, just chatting and passing time. Wouldn't you wonder what happened to one of your neighbors if all of a sudden they stopped hanging out on the stoop with you? I know I would/have, and I would ask one of the other neighbors, "Hey, has anyone seen Kara around? What's she up to lately?"

Please no more rules! We're adults who know how to conduct ourselves, most of the time anyway. I don't think people are asking about missing DISers for popularity reasons. Missing DISer posts have been the norm since I've been posting. Please, no more rules!

 

[Blondie]

my way or the highway

Who sings that...is it Limp Bizkit?

 

[Saffron]

I apologize whole heartedly Colleen. I didn't see your latest post. I feel the same way you do. Sorry about my last post.

 

[Beauty]

LOL Kathy....now you have that song going through my head!!

 

[Blondie]

I'm going out on a limb here, and the branch is breaking as I type this.......

What is the difference between singling out missing DISers on a thread, and having the DIScars?

Yeah, the DIScars were cute and a good way of distracting us from the war, but really....is it any different than starting a thread regarding a fellow DISer who hasn't posted lately?

Either way, someone is getting singled out.

Either way, someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

Where do you draw the line?

 

[Colleen A.]

When I started reading your first reply, I thought, "Man! I REALLY can't do sarcastic very well! They're taking me serious!!" How does that expression go..."No rules, just right"? In all seriousness, SOME basic "be kind to your neighbor" rules SHOULD be there, but they SHOULD be the kind we all use in our daily lives. I would hope we all have common sense. If we did, feelings wouldn't be hurt and the CB would return to "normal"!

 

[CRB#33]

Originally posted by Blondie


What is the difference between singling out missing DISers on a thread, and having the DIScars?

Yeah, the DIScars were cute and a good way of distracting us from the war, but really....is it any different than starting a thread regarding a fellow DISer who hasn't posted lately?

Either way, someone is getting singled out.

Either way, someone is going to get their feelings hurt.

Where do you draw the line?

Oh boy have you hit on a good one. How many people were hurt by that ?

Oh, Browneyes--I remember when you asked where Cathy was.

Beauty--nice post I'm kind of curious how much longer this thread is going to last.

 

[CathyCanada]

See what I mean, you just can't please everyone.

I said NOTHING about making a rule about this. I stated MY opinion on the matter. I AM allowed to do that as a poster, I don't always have to have my administrator hat on, do I? And for those who brought up the moving of posts, do you recall seeing MY name attached to any of those? Do you recall seeing an opinion by me on that particular topic at all anywhere? It has nothing whatsoever to do with why I started this thread.

And to those who insist that everyone here is an adult, if people always conducted themselves like adults, we wouldn't need moderators and trust me, THIS board more than any other, needs a lot of attention and HAS to be moderated.

Perhaps this board "seems" unfriendly because of the way people talk to each other? I know I sure as hell wouldn't feel very welcome if I were a new poster and read this thread. I stated an opinion because I am always concerned about the feelings of ALL posters, not just a select few. Believe it or not, we do get new people who visit this board, and as I originally stated, I don't like it when people's feelings are hurt when it can be prevented. That is why we have Private Messages.

The point I made was my own. I STILL feel that way and was not insinuating anything more than that until people started dissecting my posts. You don't have to agree with me, but if I didn't have the Admin under my name, would you all have responded that way?

I'm done with this, this is ridiculous and very sad.
CC

 

[browneyes]

Oh for Pete's sake! No one is reprimanding anyone. What I get from CC's first post is she doesn't want to leave off any names of those that haven't posted in awhile. That they are ALL missed. No matter who they are. But since there was a missing DIS'er thread on the cb, people around here would jump to conclusions that she was singling out Kim's thread-so she put her disclaimer on that first post. If my name had been on that thread instead of Dan's, I know CC would still feel the need to put in a disclaimer like she did.

Beth, you think Dan is more important than I am?

 

[Buckalew]

Sorry, CC. I guess I didn't think about it being just your opinion. I suppose I read your thread as a webmaster instead. I 'assumed' you were asking that singling out a DISer not happen again. I suppose I was confused about that part.

 

[CRB#33]

started dissecting my posts. You don't have to agree with me, but if I didn't have the Admin under my name, would you all have responded that way?

I don't know Cathy. I guess our response would have depended on our perception of why you said it. But since you do have Admin under your name, I guess we saw it as a direction that has "another side of a coin." I sure thought you were telling us not to do it again and this "Missing DISer" type thread has been going on at least a couple of times a week for months and months. It was confusing.

 

[Saffron]

CC - I agree this board and the DIS in general has to be moderated in order to keep the DIS a family place and keep the DIS "safe" for all posters. I've seen some very ugly things said on different threads here, on the CB and other boards, and I was glad to see some of the mods come on to stop what was being said or done. I've also seen jokes and comments that were way over the line for a family board, that I was glad to see gone. I hope you saw in my post that I said "... We are adults who know how to conduct ourselves, most of the time anyway." I really meant most of the time, not all of the time. I was directing my post to Colleen because I thought she had lost her mind and was asking for more rules. LOL! I didn't say you were making a rule or anything like that. I thought Colleen was being the kid who, at the end of class, asks for more homework!

And yes CC, I would have responded the way I did whether or not you had the "Administrator" title under your name. I was voicing my opinion and disagreeing with Colleen who I came to find I actually agreed with. I still see both sides of the coin: valid reasons why some people ask about others and valid points about some people feeling hurt by it and people not wanting to hurt others.

 

[Jaypd]

It seems like some of you are getting some fun out of making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Someone started a thread and stated how they felt about something nothing more nothing less. Then some of you feel hmm not a bad time to stir it up. Well good job it worked now don't you think it's time to just move on.

No matter what happens no one is going to change the way anyone feels so why beat a dead horse. It's no secret that to some of you that Dan is all powerful and when ever you get the chance you will point that out. This post had nothing to do with him until some of you brought him up.

Well you know like I said earlier you all stated how you feel great thanks for the insite but to keep going and going and going is doing nothing but getting more and more people upset.

So like I said maybe its time to just MOVE ON!!

 

[CRB#33]

Absolutely unreal, Jay.

 

[Colleen A.]

Ahh, Jaypd, Dan WAS mentioned in the first post! No one has highjacked this post just to bring his name up!

As far as checking to see if someone is posting as a moderator or just a poster, I HONESTLY don't even usually check a person's tag. Heck, it was only recently that I realized Dan was no longer a moderator! I just don't pay attention to things like that.

I only mentioned the moving of posts because the discussion of hurt feelings were being talked about. I really don't know who's posts got moved and who did the moving. I only know that some of these moves were senseless and DID bother people. It's as simple as that. You can not honestly tell me that moving a post questioning WHY a post got moved to the tech board was not a deliberate move to upset someone??

Yes, I think discussion boards need to be moderated, be it on the DIS or any other board....but only if things get nasty. Not as power figures who can, at times, throw their weight around (and NO, I am not singling out ANYONE! )

 

[Jaypd]

Your right he was....I take that back.....But in a whole what was the post about.

Now what is about. Not the same anymore huh

 

[Beauty]

Beth, you think Dan is more important than I am?

Actually Shannon I love you too and would miss you greatly!!


Okay my last post on the subject but I have to be honest.....Yes I believe this post had everything to do with Dan, I'm sorry if it didn't but because of all the different friendships on this board there are always going to be people missing different people. And whether this was a rule or just a post doesn't stop all the unnecessary silliness that has been going on lately. You post that things are going to be moved and then a moderator posts something that if posted by anyone else would have been moved...but everyone jumps to her defence. I understand that all of you WM and Mods are a close knit family and that you are going to stick up for each other but that doesn't make it right. I know my post doesn't matter one bit but I have come to care a great deal about this place and the people here and I hate to see whats happening. Does anyone even care about all of the people leaving????? As Alex said on a thread recently "The DIS is growing and busier than ever." Well maybe thats true and wonderful if it is....but the CB is dying.....or the FAMILY that the CB once was is dying and that is so so sad!!!! Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way but I used to think I could come here and say anything and my CB Family would cry, laugh, pray whatever I needed. Now I just feel like there would really only be 5 people who would give a ****. Then when I was told by another mod that "we can't really be friends unless we have met in person" that blew my mind. There were sooo many people here that I would have gone to bat for OVER some people I knew in real life. Its just sad and I hope no one takes this as an attack because it is SOOOO NOT MEANT TO BE ONE!!!! I have been friends or at least I thought I was with almost all of the mods here and long time members and I miss that and know I'm not the only one.

I just don't get the seriousness lately, I know people won't always get along but when it could be so so much simpler why make it harder??

 

[Beauty]

And Jay,

no I see absolutly nothing fun about this thread, but I do see posters stating their opinions and getting reprimanded and not taken seriously. Thats part of what is so sad!!!!

Its so simple....just LISTEN and stop defending all the time. No one is jumping on anyone or trying to start a debate or thread we are just saying how it is lately......just stop and LISTEN!