I don't get it, not even a little bit.

[disneyofcourse]

Both of my parents were HORRIBLE with money. Yet, someone always bailed them out, either my maternal grandmother or paternal grandfather. I learned a long time ago that I have no one to bail me out, in fact, my parents owe me money I will never see. Therefore, I had to become frugal. It wasn't always easy and still isn't, but fortunately I am married to a very frugal man. I am the breadwinner and he is the SAHD. He pinches our pennies until they scream and consequently, we own a 14 room house with no mortgage in the HCOLA of Greater Boston plus we own three DVC contracts. Our car is also paid for.

I have learned to stop thinking of budgeting as deprivation and instead think of it as a game. I refuse to pay full price for anything and I despise wasting money.

Yep, My family is the same way. The moment I wrote that 15k check to bail them out I just knew I wouldn't be getting any of that money back. To this day they don't remember the check....... Yeah you don't remember cause it went straight towards paying for your house and bills! Oh and they bought a new suv within 6 months since they had extra money finally coming in. To this day I have gotten about $100 back and yes I have forgiven them.

 

[eliza61]

what?
I'm sorry,but I don't know if I can believe this..... it's NOT molecular biology!
You make xxx.xx per month.
your bills (house,food,car,heat,lights) total xxx.xx per month.
Take first line xxx.xx
subtract second line xxx.xxx
xxx.xx
-xxx.xx
get it?
whatever you have left,is for extra items,and saving.
every month,every time.
if the 1st line isn't bigger than the 2nd,you need to adjust it till you spend LESS than you are MAKING.
After you do that, then you start to PLAN how you will spend your income.
this has nothing to do with CVS and free toothpaste,this has to do with spending less than you make.If you spend more than you make,then something needs adjusting,either make more,or spend less. it is extremely simple.
OP,Are you really asking how to get whatever you want,whenever,without having to worry about these little details?

hsmamto, it is very hard for some people. I know grown adults who don't know how to balance their check books. Many schools thankfully are going back to teaching kids what used to be called home ec because so many of our youth simply don't know the concept of budgeting.

I know fully grown women who since they stay at home never bothered to learn what the mortgage is or howmuch they spend on electricity.

My next door neighbor had a wedding shower for her soon to be daughter in law. they were getting ready to buy a 300,000 dollar house on one income because they wanted some thing big enough to "grow into"

So yeah, there are a whole lot of people that need to learn budgeting.

 

[Mickey1Fan]

My favourite budget guru is Gail Vax-Oxlade. She has great budget worksheets as well as lots of good advice. She has a couple of TV shows. Til Debt Do Us Part and Princess.

Her new book Never Too Late is also great for retirement planning.

http://gailvazoxlade.com/resources.html

Have fun, I love working with my budget, I know it is a little odd, but Gail has made it really easy and logical.

 

[SandrA9810]

It sounds like the income is there, but not the savings. You've got the bills laid out but some how 10 or 20 bucks slip through your fingers like water. You try couponing to put a few bucks in your pocket but you can't find it.

If you have your bills laid out, then take half the money and put it in savings
Once it's out of sight it's out of mind. Then work on controlling your daily habits of swiping the card. A coupon is like invisible money. Its hard to seè the savings without seeing the cold hard cash in your hands.

Anything is possible with time and practice. Get a cork board and pin all your receipts to it daily to see where the money is going with the bills too. A swipe here for a drink, swipe there for a treat, an extra movie cause it was in the 5 dollar bin. At the end of the week or month take your receipts and highlight things you could've lived without. Then make a list on excel of the item and cost
It'll add up quickly. Once you see it, it makes it easier to notice when you do it.

 

[hipchickie]

It took me a few tries with CVS to get the hang of it, but it does get easier. the first trip i took, I felt like such a failure! I really do like iheartcvs.com for planning trips, she does a good job listing out many things. I only buy things I actually use - mostly toothbrushes and toothpaste, deoderant, contact solution, cereal, bodywash and soap. Someday I may even branch out to riteaid and walgreens ...not quite there yet though

I am pretty crappy with money, I will be the first to admit it. i am raising kids that are so amazing with money though, I have taught them well! I take heart in that, and consider myself a work in progress We never seem to get ahead though, and it can be very disheartening

 

[ilovemk76]

Sounds like your problem is the same as me.

X amount of money
Y amount of bills

X=Y

You are not going to be able to save like that.

Mine is worse.

X<Y

I can't save, not even for the stuff that I know needs to be paid.

People who have a lot of money always gives the same advice. Cut or increase income. That is the answer even if there is no way of doing either of those. Also they say sell sell sell.

I can't cut. I have no cell phones to cut out. I have no eating out to cut. I have nothing I spend money on except for bills. I get paid Friday at 9 am and when I get home at 4 pm the money is gone. I immediately fill both cars full of gas and do the bills. Money = $0.

That means the $100 I put into another account to pay car insurance and heating oil later ends up spent. My wife goes through 2 tanks of gas to get to work. One filled on payday, the 2nd has to come from the insurance money. The kids are bound to be sick and need medicine and/or often doctor visits. That comes from the money saved to pay for heating oil.

I have $310 insurance due and still haven't paid my last oil fill of $424.

Next comes I need 6 tires for the cars. They are as bald as a baby's behind. 2 tires for my wife's car comes tomorrow. No choice but to put $350 on a credit card (2 tires and a wheel alignment.) My tires came on the car and are high performance tires. Driving in the rain is like water skiing and snow I just forget about it. 2 bald in the front, 1 sitting in the garage that won't hold air any more and the spare on the car now. The other is good. 4 tires needed NOW. Monday I will be putting tires on it, probably about $550, again no choice but to put it on a credit card.

It's tough and there is no end to it. I don't see how I can put a stop to it other than go homeless because I have nothing to get rid of to sell for money.

If you don't put a stop to it you WILL be homeless. Eventually your CCs are be maxed out and you will not be able to put gas in the car to go to work.

One needs to look into the future repairs when buying a car. High performance tires cost $$$$. SUV truck tires cost $$$$. What is the gas mileage of the vehicle that you are considering needs to be addressed before buying the car not when you can't fill the gas tank.

If there is really nothing to cut then a second job for one or both of you is a must.

Are you kids in any activities? If so, pull them. Too costly in gas, time that you could work a second job, fees and equipment.

Take in a boarder even it it means all the kids are in the same room.

The worst thing anyone can do is just throw up their hands and say, "See there is nothing I can do." . There is always something that one can do but one may need to make choices that they really don't like.

My favourite budget guru is Gail Vax-Oxlade. She has great budget worksheets as well as lots of good advice. She has a couple of TV shows. Til Debt Do Us Part and Princess.

Her new book Never Too Late is also great for retirement planning.

http://gailvazoxlade.com/resources.html

Have fun, I love working with my budget, I know it is a little odd, but Gail has made it really easy and logical.

We love Gail!!! She is witty. DH loves her cackle! We both laugh when she is doing the relationship rescue challenge. I guess she never did any of them because she is getting divorced again. I believe this is her 3rd marriage.

I have not read her book. I may need to look into it.

 

[Pigeon]

Go to the public library and check out a few books on budgeting and money management. It's really not rocket science, and I don't think it matters whose stuff you read to get the basics. A lot of folks find Dave Ramsey works for them. I can't stand the religious overtones and some of his details wouldn't work for me, but it doesn't much matter who you listen to in order to get started.

You need to get a handle on your spending, and track it for a period of time. Write down all of your monthy expenses.

Then take a long, hard look at each expense and determine which are wants and which are needs. Things like eating out, cable TV, most entertainment, vacations, etc. are wants, no matter how much you want them. Until you get your budget under control, the wants have to go. Look at each of your needs and see if you can cut the costs. I agree with the pay yourself first idea. I'm not a very strict budgeter, in the sense that we don't track every penny, but by saving first, we've accumulated a fair amount.

Another source I find useful is the Complete Tightwad Gazette, which you can also get at the library for free. Soem of the ideas are a little dated, and some are too extreme for me, but she has a philosophy about saving and making do with what you have that I find inspiring.

 

[brymolmom]

IMO for someone like you who knows that you aren't a budgeter, you shouldn't launch into something like CVS'ing off the bat. That gets confusing and can get lots of people into the situation of actually spending MORE than less, if you're not doing it right and if you're not spending enough time doing it and if you're not disciplined enough. SO my advice would be to start SMALL.

For example, a starting goal might be 'I'm going to save$100 per month' (or if you already do this try for '$100 MORE each month'). Then figure out how you're going to do it:
-If you spend about $150 a week at the grocery store...chop it down by $25 and keep TRACK of it (#1 rule of budgeting and dieting since you reference it) and take that $25 that would have been spent on groceries and put it into a special savings account. As you see this grow it will feel good so keep all this hard-saved money together so you can see it in one place.
-Another place to curb spending - how much is spent on eating out (lunches, dinners) and entertainment per month? Depending what it is - you might be able to shave $50 or so off that without too much difficulty.

Anyway, you see where I'm going with this - start small....then after a few months of success with the smaller goal, then add another small goal and work on it.

I think jumping into CVS'ing might look like a 'quick fix' and honestly IMO there are so many other things that should be tackled if you are trying to budget or pay off debt or other before something like this is tried.

 

[NaLisa]

IMO for someone like you who knows that you aren't a budgeter, you shouldn't launch into something like CVS'ing off the bat. That gets confusing and can get lots of people into the situation of actually spending MORE than less, if you're not doing it right and if you're not spending enough time doing it and if you're not disciplined enough. SO my advice would be to start SMALL.

For example, a starting goal might be 'I'm going to save$100 per month' (or if you already do this try for '$100 MORE each month'). Then figure out how you're going to do it:
-If you spend about $150 a week at the grocery store...chop it down by $25 and keep TRACK of it (#1 rule of budgeting and dieting since you reference it) and take that $25 that would have been spent on groceries and put it into a special savings account. As you see this grow it will feel good so keep all this hard-saved money together so you can see it in one place.
-Another place to curb spending - how much is spent on eating out (lunches, dinners) and entertainment per month? Depending what it is - you might be able to shave $50 or so off that without too much difficulty.

Anyway, you see where I'm going with this - start small....then after a few months of success with the smaller goal, then add another small goal and work on it.

I think jumping into CVS'ing might look like a 'quick fix' and honestly IMO there are so many other things that should be tackled if you are trying to budget or pay off debt or other before something like this is tried.

Thanks for posting this, and thanks to OP for starting the conversation. Personally, I become so overwhelmed at the prospect of serious budgeting that I just can't bring myself to do it. Taking baby steps with clear-cut, short-term goals makes the whole prospect less daunting.

 

[crisi]

First, learn the difference between want and need. Need is paying taxes, keeping a roof over your head, buying groceries. Want is a Netflix or cable subscription, buying good groceries.

Look at every bill coming into the house and put it into four piles.

1. I need this and there isn't anything I can do about the amount.
2. I need this, but I can reduce the amount (I saved 20% on heat and electricity by doing all those things you are supposed to do, but I never had done).
3. I want this. (and still see if you can reduce the amount).
4. Why am I paying for this?

When you spend, use the same technique...do I need it? Do I need it now? Can I get it cheaper?

IF there is money in your budget (and as mrodgers says, there isn't always money), it will fall out.

If there isn't money to fall out, you need to be more drastic. Get a second job. Take in a boarder. Move in with your parents. Plant a garden and put a chicken coop in your backyard. Sell your plasma.

 

[aclov]

You remind me of my best friend - she never cared to save money, use a coupon or buy sale items. Now she is divorced and really has no choice but to budget herself and she is struggling. I do agree some people are good at it but it takes practice!

 

[MrsPete]

Maybe I should just get more comfortable living hand to mouth!

No way! The fact that you're uncomfortable with this lifestyle is strong motivation for you to work at this.

There are two ways for you to change your situation -- exactly two, no more:

1. Earn more money: Pick up a second job, sell on ebay/have a yard sale, get job training so you can earn more.
2. Spend less money: Downsize your car or housing, eat out less, cut your grocery bill, pare down your holiday spending. More options exists here.

So you need to honestly ask yourself where you stand. Is the problem that you just don't earn enough, and no matter what you do you're going to have this problem? Or is it that you earn enough, but you are simply spending without thought and need to get control of your spending?

Add up all your "gotta haves": Rent, car, insurance, gas, groceries, utilities, debt. Do they total to more than 50% of your take-home pay? If so, you're over-extended and you need to start by paring these down; IF more than half your take-home pay is "already spent" before you get it, you're unlikely to succeed with a budget. You could cut back your "gotta haves" by getting rid of cable TV, eating a few meals each week without meat, upping your insurance deductible so as to get a lower premium, etc.

Once you've attacked that problem, start recording every discretionary dollar you spend each week: Every fast-food lunch, every lottery ticket, every new outfit. This'll show you your weak points, and you'll figure out where you're spending imulsively.

Pick an area or two and focus on JUST THAT for a couple months . . . then once that has become habit, pick another arae or two. If you try to change everything at once, you're likely to give up in frustration.

 

[QVCshopper]

Have you considered moving? My parents have lived in Westchester County, NY, and no matter how much of a raise they get, they'll always be just making it there. The cost of living is so high.

That aside, it's really about changing your lifestyle. Wanting less, making do with what you have, being happy with who your are, maybe making more. I really think it's partly a mental process, like dieting. For me, I've always been this way. Call it frugal, cheap, thrifty, whatever; truth is I don't like to spend my money on most things. Exceptions are Disney and AG dolls, but I've reached my limit on those. I need a big nest egg waiting for me because (like I said) my parents went through some tough times and I don't want that for my family.

It's sad, really. I feel like they have been a slave to money for years instead of using it like a tool. You are in charge, not the money. Control it. I'd be happy to help more if you want; I really love this stuff.

 

[TickleMeTink]

I also recommend the You need a budget software. For years, I did my budget on an Excel
Spreadsheet but it wasn't until I checked out the YNAB website and software that we finally have a budget that works for us and I wished we had gotten the software sooner. Definitely check out the website and software. Totally worth the money for the software IMO.

I'm really a big proponent of the You Need a Budget website and software. But even if you don't want to buy the software, they have some good information and videos and things on their website for free. And excellent message boards. I think that would be very helpful if you want to learn but don't know where to start.

 

[vicki_c]

Funny that the last post in the thread was a YNAB post, because I was coming to post this blog entry from today about why budgeting is worthwhile (from YNAB):

http://www.youneedabudget.com/2011/budgets-are-a-waste-of-time/

 

[tink2dw]

There is alot of talk about need verses want, but It can be hard to decide that.
1. Buying a fancy $5.00 coffee drink in the morning on the way to work to wake up, is a want! Make coffee at home or drink from the pot at work!! Saves you $$$!
2. $5.00 blue plate lunchs cost you $25.00 a week!! Brown your lunch!! and the rest of the family, too!
3. Skip eating out!! Not McDonalds or any sit down, breakfast, lunch, or dinner!! Make homemade pizzas, or spaghetti and a salad and garlic bread.
4. Skip buying name brand purses, go to discount stores like Ross Dress for Less! I bought the cutest $10.00 dress there, it is the proper silhouette for me, I can dress it up, change the look with a jacket, or sweater, it's just so verseable!!
5. If you have more than 4 pair of shoes, STOP buying shoes!! And start selling them!!
6. Go to www.GasBuddys.com and put in your town and see who is selling the cheapest gasoline!! this is a must do!!
7. Tires worn out?? look and ask around for the "Tire King" of your area He is the guy that sells gently used tires, at discount prices, most of his tires will look brand new and have lots of "legal tread" still left on them but will be so cheap you will buy his tire garentee!! And still won't have spent more than $150 -200. for 5 tires!!

Join the No Spending in May thread

 

[Pigeon]

.
4. Skip buying name brand purses, go to discount stores like Ross Dress for Less!

Better yet, look in your closet.

I think a lot of times you do the smartest thing by asking yourself do I really need this at all and can I make do with what I already own, rather than can I save a few bucks on it. I know I've bought many things that were bargains that I really did not need at all.

 

[DisneyFairytale]

Ok, so i'm going to go on the record and say budgeting and saving seems like some foreign concept that is as difficult to learn as molecular biology. Some people are wired that way and I am not one of those people who have a wonderful understanding of how budgeting works, or how to do it (molecular biology either, for that matter.)

I didn't have great role models in my parents, they did the best they could, but there was never anything really saved, the money came in on thursday and lasted through the following wednesday, rinse and repeat.

But now I'm trying to break the 'in one hand out the other' cycle and i just don't understand how to get there. I have my expenses on an excel spreadsheet and I pay everything on time, but there never seems to be anything 'left' to build any kind of savings on top of.

And then I tried to do the CVS thing and roll extra care bucks and then I found out, I'm obviously doing that wrong, because I have two things of poligrip and a coupon for $2 back but to get that coupon I spent $5.

Maybe I should just get more comfortable living hand to mouth!

Thank you for listening to me freak out.

You know what it's funny because I grew up in a similar position. Have you ever seen the show called "Til debt do us part"? In the show they make the breakdown of what needs to be paid each month, what is needed for food and break down into all these different categories. They put all the credit and debit cards away and ONLY use what they seperated in all the jars for that month. It prevents them from spending more than what was planned for and allows them to put money aside.

 

[crisi]

Better yet, look in your closet.

I think a lot of times you do the smartest thing by asking yourself do I really need this at all and can I make do with what I already own, rather than can I save a few bucks on it. I know I've bought many things that were bargains that I really did not need at all.

And when you are trying to get even, you need to be really strict on the "passing on bargains you aren't going to use." This goes for groceries as well as passing on clothes you don't need. Over time, you'll want to build up a decent "bargain pantry" and take advantage of sales on things like spaghetti sauce. But for now, the only food you should keep in the house is what you will use this week. Try really hard not to have extra bottles of shampoo and lotion. And certainly pass on the decorative doo dads and candles.

 

[ColoradoK]

Get Dave Ramsey...on audio book from your library (to save, of course!) listen to it while you commute. It made such a difference for hubby and I...but we're also Christians so we didn't mind the "religious overtones".