I desperately need advice....

[marybet]

If you want the dog, I would not let this woman take her at all. Sounds like you are taking much better care of the dog and giving her a good home.

I think if you do tell her that she will have to pay you for all you have spent on the dog before you give her back the woman will probably change her mind. You will probably need to be blunt with the woman and ask her if she wants the dog back, otherwise if you let her take the dog for a "visit" she will just never return her.

Like others have said it is good that you have the emails saying she wants to give you the dog.

You might suggest that she just visit the dog at your house, that you are way to attached to the dog for her to take it.

 

[kimbac3]

I wouldn't give her back either. Just tell her you changed her mind about letting her visit with the dog.
Kimba

 

[Pam]

Say no to her picking up the dog to spend a "few days" at her place. You let her walk out the door of your house with the dog, she won't be bringing the puppy back.

Instead, email her and tell her that your family discussed it and you don't want her having the dog for a few days because it will mess up the dog's established routine. And then I won't respond to any more emails or phone calls from this person.

 

[leafette]

No way would I return the dog. She sounds a little unstable.

 

[themarquis]

what an awful situation

I agree that she was probably using you. To be charitable, it is possible that she really did intend to give the dog up for good and had second thoughts but was being a weenie about articulating her second thoughts to you (figuring she could just slip the dog away from you without upsetting you). Whatever -- regardless, she certainly does not deserve to have the dog back.

The dog has a great home with you where she is well-cared for. It seems unlikely that this would be the case with this woman, esp. if she is thinking of breeding her (to make $$?) You don't have any obligation to give the dog back. She was given to you as a "gift", not as a loan. She is now a much-loved part of your family. It would be emotionally traumatizing for you, your family, and even to the dog if you gave her up. Try to focus not on how you "should" give the dog back to be "nice" to the ex-coworker, but instead on how you are being a good person and ethical dog owner to NOT give the dog back.

If it were me, I would do what a couple of others suggested: be completely honest with the ex-coworker, tell her that she gave the dog to you permanently (cc her a copy of her original email if you want to), that you're sorry she's changed her mind, but the dog is now part of your family, and that she's welcome to come visit anytime. She might be mad, but so what? You don't even work with her any more. Will you even have to deal with her much? It seems like the most that could happen is that she will try to sue -- she can go ahead and sue away, since you have the documentation that the dog is a gift.

 

[poohandwendy]

Try to focus not on how you "should" give the dog back to be "nice" to the ex-coworker, but instead on how you are being a good person and ethical dog owner to NOT give the dog back.

Really, that is the truth.

 

[susan514]

I bet if that dog were fixed, she would not want it back. Someone may have said to her if she bred the dog, she would make money on the pups. Have the dog fixed, since you were anyway. Doing this is in the best interest for the dog.

 

[disney4us2002]

Say no to her picking up the dog to spend a "few days" at her place. You let her walk out the door of your house with the dog, she won't be bringing the puppy back.

Instead, email her and tell her that your family discussed it and you don't want her having the dog for a few days because it will mess up the dog's established routine. And then I won't respond to any more emails or phone calls from this person.

This is the reply I agree with most. Cut the ties and don't look back.

 

[Miss Jessr!ca]

im not sure if she can take her back or not.
but i do know moving a dog around around like that can cause major stress to some dogs.

tell her no.
thats whawt i would do

 

[DawnCt1]

there was a case like this on judge judy. As long as you have proof that she had no intention in the begining of taking the dog back, It will work in your favor. I wouldnt let her near the dog. She hasnt paid you anything for caring for her so she basically abandoned it.

Absolutely and print off every e mail and make duplicates. Let her take you to small claims court for the dog and take your e mails. Have someone whom she doesn't know watch the dog while you are on vacation. Don't even speak to her again.

 

[damo]

For the dog's sake, do not give it back. Anyone that treats a dog like a piece of property should not own one.

 

[JadenLayne]

We were given a Maltese about this time last year. She was a brand new puppy that was given to a teenager as a Christmas Present and the teenager just didn't have the time to take care of her.

There is no way I would give the dog back! No way, no how. This person sounds unstable!!!! She gave you the dog and I would say I'm sorry but she is staying put.

Off the subject, Meg, our Maltese has been a pure joy. She is so funny and so loving. I can't imagine our lives without her.

 

[Snowysmom]

I would not give the puppy back. I would not even allow her to visit the dog since it would be confusing for the dog and she might steal her. She sounds like she wants the dog only when it is convenient for her or she can make some money off the dog. It also sounds like the dog is much better off with you. I would guess that if you have the dog spayed, she would lose interest in the dog quickly. The bottom line is, she gave you the dog permanently and the dog is now a part of your family. She needs to move on.

 

[thinkerbell]

I feel a little differently from what most have posted. We have a quaker parrot and at one time last year, I felt that we just couldn't give her the time that she deserved and I gave her to a co-worker. It wasn't because I was a bad owner, I just felt it would be a better situation. Three days and many tears later, I asked her if I could possibly have her back. She is an animal lover too and understood my pain. She was very kind and gave her back and I wouldn't dream of putting myself through that again. I know that the OP's situation is different but being sad about giving up your pet and then getting it back changes the way you do things sometimes.
I would, however, make her pay up for anything you have paid out. That would only be fair. I would have done that gladly to get my bird back.
Just another view to think about.

 

[WDWFUN]

I feel a little differently from what most have posted. We have a quaker parrot and at one time last year, I felt that we just couldn't give her the time that she deserved and I gave her to a co-worker. It wasn't because I was a bad owner, I just felt it would be a better situation. Three days and many tears later, I asked her if I could possibly have her back. She is an animal lover too and understood my pain. She was very kind and gave her back and I wouldn't dream of putting myself through that again. I know that the OP's situation is different but being sad about giving up your pet and then getting it back changes the way you do things sometimes.
I would, however, make her pay up for anything you have paid out. That would only be fair. I would have done that gladly to get my bird back.
Just another view to think about.

And I understand my ex-co-workers view, don't get me wrong. It's just that unlike you, You were honest and upfront about your pet. She is not, she is being sneaky and has been lying to me since day one.

 

[alliecats]

Say no to her picking up the dog to spend a "few days" at her place. You let her walk out the door of your house with the dog, she won't be bringing the puppy back.

Instead, email her and tell her that your family discussed it and you don't want her having the dog for a few days because it will mess up the dog's established routine. And then I won't respond to any more emails or phone calls from this person.

Brilliant! Do not let Gigi out of your sight! What a piece of work your ex-coworker is.

 

[Cool-Beans]

If I wanted the dog, I'd keep it. If I didn't, I'd give it back.

If I were keeping it, there would be no visit for a couple days. You send the dog off, it might not come back.

I can't honestly see anyone taking this to court. What kind of lawyer handles Dog Custody cases?

 

[ZPT1022]

Good luck to you OP! I understand having remorse over having to let a pet go, really I do, but as an adult pet owner I wouldn't even contemplate moving somewhere where my pets weren't allowed. Plain and simple, and we've given up some neat living accomodations because of this, but so be it. As to the breeding, my aunt is a dog breeder and this "friend" of your does not sound like she has any of the characteristics of being a responsible breeder. I wouldn't let the dog out of my sight and give her the opportunity if I were you. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you

 

[Nagle]

If you give the dog back, wanna bet she tries to pull similar crap in the future? Keep the dog.

 

[Feralpeg]

Why ruin your NYE? Email her right now and tell her you will be keeping the dog. Remind her that you were not dog-sitting and that she begged you to take the dog. Attach copies of her emails to you. Tell her if she has a problem with this, to contact your lawyer.

I'm sorry, but I don't see a way to salvage this friendship. Why would you want to considering what she did?