I could cry!!!! In-law troubles!!!!

[rodeo65]

First, I was reading this and thinking of a thread I had seen, I thought you'd all enjoy... (Post # 1439)

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1777391&page=96



I struggled with MIL issues for years. I tolerated it, not wanting to put my DH in a bad situation. He often defended me but it didn't really change. Several years ago he had it, and severed all ties with his family. I never asked him to, he was not closely attached to them after a horrific childhood, but I never wanted it to be because I asked hm to. He made the decision on his own because of the treatment to him, our children and me. He has no regrets, other then the family he was dealt, but it still is not easy to not have much family. I am an only and DH had a brother who passed away 15 years ago so our kids have no extended family, but we agreed that their limited grandparents who deeply love them were fine and it was best not to have toxic people in their lives.

It is sad to hear others in similar situations. Best of luck working out a happy solution for your family...

That sounds so much like the life we've led. DH also had a very difficult childhood and had several periods of non-contact in his 20's. It amazed me (but really shouldn't have) that that has all been forgotten and now I am the reason in MIL's mind for all of the issues. It was a pretty happy and calm 5 years for me, although DH was struggling with the guilt of just cutting them out of his life. I am now back to being the "bigger" party and doing a lot of tongue chewing. My parents are completely fine with however much time we choose to spend with them, and as a result that is where we prefer to spend time. My dad even says we need to be sensitive to DH's family as they are the kids' grandparents too. I don't understand it at all, having been raised completely differently.

mom2faith ( we almost named dd faith), brainwashed FILs I think are common in this kind of family dynamic. Mine is the same.

I will not be, I will not be, I will not be...that kind of MIL