I caused my DS(10) to get detention in school

[Mishetta]

Does he go to a private school? If not, why were they discussing the Ten Commandments? Sorry, OT, but I couldn't figure that out.

Yes, he goes to a Catholic school. I very much doubt there is discussion on the Ten Commandments at a public school.

 

[Evil Genius]

I think you did a fine job. As parents, there are times when we need an outside helping hand in teaching our children lessons. Kudos to the school and you for working together to teach your ds that he needs to think of others.

 

[Beth76]

Why does she break the rules? Have no clue but I think that's very nice of her.

Well, I sort of see this as enabling your son. And who gets in trouble? Your son, when really he's been allowed to do this all along. I'm not flaming you. It just seems that if he's going to be late, he should miss the bus. If he misses the bus, then he's late for school. If he's late for school he should get a detention (if that's the appropriate punishment set up by the school). He might deserve a detention, but it doesn't really seem like they're going through the right steps to give him the detention.

 

[Hannathy]

IMO she went too far when she took him to the principal. I wouldn't be too happy about that being on his record. I think a good lesson went a little overboard.

 

[Mishetta]

Well, I sort of see this as enabling your son. And who gets in trouble? Your son, when really he's been allowed to do this all along. I'm not flaming you. It just seems that if he's going to be late, he should miss the bus. If he misses the bus, then he's late for school. If he's late for school he should get a detention (if that's the appropriate punishment set up by the school). He might deserve a detention, but it doesn't really seem like they're going through the right steps to give him the detention.

I do understand what you're saying & I do agree with you but I've never asked the bus driver to wait on my DS. She has taken it upon herself to do this. While I know it's wrong, I'm also going to be very honest & say that I'm grateful. I do remind my DS each afternoon when he comes home that he is darned lucky that his bus driver has a heart, because if I were his bus driver, I'd take off if I didn't see him at the bus stop. I don't feel my DS should get special treatment. That's not how life works.

Funny thing is that my DS told his bus driver that he got detention for holding the bus up on Tuesday morn & her response was "oh that wasn't necessary! I was a minute or two early anyway!" I still don't feel she needed to hold everyone up for my DS (altho again, I'm really grateful that she did!)

 

[Longsx3]

IMO she went too far when she took him to the principal. I wouldn't be too happy about that being on his record. I think a good lesson went a little overboard.

For a kid who has neer been in trouble taking him the AP is probably key to getting him to straighten up.
My guess is that with this being a Private school that it isn't on his record. After all the detention was used to teach a lesson more so than a punishment. He wasn't tardy, the bus wasn't late, and he was referred to the office for being a punk at home!

 

[TEENEE]

Bravo!!! I think you and the school handled things very well. I've asked my dd's teachers to help with similar problems. It's really nice to have caring teachers who will go above and beyond their regular duties to help their students.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I think you handled everything perfectly! I am wondering how old he is though. Maybe he needs to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. I know that DS can get up and go quickly, but DD needs extra time. I make sure they're up at 6:15 on school days even though their bus doesn't come until 7:35 (they're in bed by 7:30pm...but they aren't quite 6yrs). I also make sure their clothes are laid out and backpacks packed the night before (this is more for me...I'm NOT a morning person and getting them up, dressed, fed, and out the door is about all I can handle). This saves time and stress in the morning.

 

[Pooh93]

I applaud the way you and the school worked together! Sometimes kids need a wake up call....no pun intended!!

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Sounds like your son learned a good lesson! It's great that your son's teacher was willing to work with you on that. I hope his good behavior continues

 

[beckmrk04]

I don't think the detention was that big of a deal. It obviously worked. And it's not like your detention record follows you to college. I never had to report how many detentions I had growing up. Thankfully.

I think you all did a good job!

 

[Caropooh]

I hope his good attitude continues! That's great how you and the school worked as a team to change him around. It sounds like it worked great.

 

[Divamomto3]

I made my oldest walk to school once in kindergarten when he was being pokey in the morning. It was a 3 mile walk, I followed him in the car though. I called the school and let them know what I was doing and the secretary laughed and said they would keep an eye out for him. That was the last time he missed the bus.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like a great plan to me.

My 9yodd is slow, she does not have to take the bus. If she is late she gets a tardy. She hates that.

Natural consequences are a great tool for parents to use.

 

[Divamomto3]

IMO she went too far when she took him to the principal. I wouldn't be too happy about that being on his record. I think a good lesson went a little overboard.

No offense, but some people take this "permanent record" thing way too far. I got a detention in 10th grade for forgetting my Spanish book in my locker. Do you think I should be worried about the next job I apply for? It's not like he stabbed somebody in the hallway.

 

[RitaZ.]

I wouldn't be too happy about that being on his record.

I seriously doubt this experience will go on any record.

Rose, well done!

 

[amy4life]

Well i think the you handled it well and the lesson in class. But i thinking going to the AP and getting detention is a little extreme.

 

[Planogirl]

This was an excellent way to handle this situation! I applaud you, the teacher and the principal.

I wouldn't worry about him going to the principal and getting detention. I think that most kids do so at some point. I know that I did and it didn't end up on any record.

 

[Mishetta]

I think you handled everything perfectly! I am wondering how old he is though. Maybe he needs to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. I know that DS can get up and go quickly, but DD needs extra time. I make sure they're up at 6:15 on school days even though their bus doesn't come until 7:35 (they're in bed by 7:30pm...but they aren't quite 6yrs). I also make sure their clothes are laid out and backpacks packed the night before (this is more for me...I'm NOT a morning person and getting them up, dressed, fed, and out the door is about all I can handle). This saves time and stress in the morning.

My DS is 10 y/o & he is ADHD so that probably plays a factor in this scenario too BUT he can't use that diagnosis as a crutch. He is asked very little in the mornings because I put out his uniform, I even thread his belt thru the pant loops for heaven's sake! In the morning, I go to his bathroom & I lay out his toothbrush, towel, hairbrush, etc...Then while marching back & forth to his room, I am trying to get my little one ready & then I go back & check on DS & if he's not moving along, I start barking out orders. Then I finish my little guy up & then I finish me up & again, go back & check on DS (who is still goofing around) & some more barking & probably by then, I'm taking things away (electronics, or playtime) . I get downstairs & I line up his coat, hat, gloves, boots (make sure his shoes are in his backpack). I take his lunch out & that is his responsibility to put in his backpack, along with his water bottle (which I have filled & also placed on the table next to his lunch.)

We've tried sending DS to bed 1/2 hour earlier each night that he gives me grief in the morning but that wasn't doing it either. I get him (or try to) at 730am & the bus doesn't come till 830am. Yet, last week when they were off for winter break, he was going to bed late (11pm-ish) & he was up at the crack of dawn....so this is not an issue of lack of sleep. I wish it were that simple! Maybe it was a power struggle, I really don't know but as a parent I have to fulfill my obligation to get him off to school in a timely manner. I fixed him up with a "curse" though! (Joking about the curse thing here....) I have told him that I wish for him the same type of child he is to us!! In our family that is called "the Mother's curse!"

 

[tw1nsmom]

Oh no! Not the curse! My mom put one on me and boy did it work. DD is dramatic, stubborn, creative, did I mention dramatic?

You sound like a great mother! Keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure it will eventually click, and if not, well, college is only eight years away . Of course, as I said before, my two are only five. I have oodles and oodles to learn.