I can't seem to make a choice about surgery. Any input?

[Nalla]

I have a bunch of issues, that I'd rather not go into detail about. The problems are benign, albeit sometimes quite painful. I have tried a lot of treatments, but hormones backfire for me (and my mom and grandma, we've all got the same problem), so the only options I have left really are to deal with it or to get a hysterectomy.
Now, I'm not a fan of kids. I mean, on occasion I like them, but I've never considered having one. And I've been dead set on getting surgery for a few years now. My first pre-op appt is Nov 5th, and the surgeon may back out then. If she doesn't back out, I've got to have my mind made up.
Like I said, I've been pushing for this for years, and now I'm getting cold feet. I'm 22, which is why I've had to look for a while before I found a doctor that would consider it.
I keep bouncing between wanting the surgery, to fix the problems once and for all and be done with it and being unsure. I've wanted it for a long time, but I was told (incorrectly) that I couldn't have children when I was like 17. Now I know I can have kids, and the doctor who told me I can't is an incompetent idiot.
So now I'm dealing with knowing that I can have kids, and having to choose whether to have a hysterectomy.
Does anyone have any advice or input or anything?

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Well first heres a and I would say get at least 2 or 3 opinions since this would be such a life changing surgery. Have you checked out alll the specialists in the NY metro area, in NYC?? I thought I saw once on CBS news something about uterus sparing surgery for patients. I would make sure you have done ALL your research and covered ALL your bases for sure. Ask your family doctor, ask the OB/GYN, seek info from a major hosp. center etc. Like NYU, Columbia etc. I am sure they are the best etc. I have been to NYU just to a genetic person and they are the best etc. Also remember, there are many children in the world waiting for a home, so you have the opportunity to one day be a mom to a special child if you so choose. Blessings to you.

 

[daisyyy]

JMHO.... it sounds to me like you are looking for people to justify what you already know you want to do. But, I think you should really wait. your post doesn't mention if you're in a realationship or not. Just that you don't mind kids. But you're YOUNG. don't make a permanant mistake. If it's something you are not 100%. I mean 100% sure! than the best thing is to wait. deal with it for a few more years. If it's not something that is a life threatening issue for you. You may have a change of heart in a few years and really want to have kids. Of course like another post has mentioned, there are tons of kids waiting for homes. I just know at one point in my life, I was thinking I don't know if I want kids... but I can't imagine life without them. don't rush the decision.

 

[Christine]

I think, at age 22, it is too soon to make such a permanent decision. I'm not trying to tell you that you WILL change your mind one day, but you just never know. I think if you had said you were 28 or 30, I would think that you know. You will not believe how much you will change, mentally, between now and when you are 35....so different.

I think I would try everything I could to not have a hysterectomy. In this day and age, there are lots of other treatments that could be beneficial.

 

[Nalla]

After thinking about it I found another doctor to get another opinion, I'm going for more tests next week and then I'll see where I go from there.
I just am not sure I can commit now to not having kids ever. I'm even not sure I'd be making that choice rationally, because the pain sort of clouds everything. If that makes any sense. I want to make this whole problem go away, but I keep having this nagging feeling that I'd be making a mistake. I don't know.
Maybe I could see a counselor about this whole thing.

 

[mcco5543]

I have a disability and have had many many surgeries. Some by choice, some out of neccesity. My best idea that I can offer you is to talk to other people who have had your medical issues and who have chosen to go the surgery route. You can get feedback from people who have actually been through it! You can look on the internet through message boards or websites regarding the topic of your issues or you can have one or all of the surgeons put you in touch with people who they've operated on in the past who chose the surgery option. I have done this many times when deciding on whether or not to have surgery and also have been the go to person for other people deciding to have certain procedures that I have had. I never try and sway anyone. Just listen and offer my own experience so that someone can make their own informed choice from someone who actually has been through it.

counselor would be a great idea! Good for you for really thinking this through. But if you are in that much pain that you think it's affecting your decisions about having kids (or your decisions about anything at all) then I say after you get opinions and after you do some soul searching (with a counselor if you so choose) then I truly believe you'll know what's right for you. My mama always told me to to listen to the "little voice inside you" it never will steer you wrong!

I'm sending lots of love and healing energy and pain free vibes

 

[dee47]

Is embolization an option for you? I'm only guessing at the nature of your problem.

 

[Nalla]

Is embolization an option for you? I'm only guessing at the nature of your problem.

Nope.

 

[Nalla]

I've decided to hold off on having the surgery. I just can't commit to having it, and I don't want to make a mistake that will stay with me like that. I got different meds, which manage the pain much better, and I figure that if I dealt with it this long, a couple more months/years or whatever to properly make a decision won't be too bad. I really hope I'm making the right choice on this.

 

[mcco5543]

As long as you feel like you are making the right choice then trust yourself! We can all see here that you are a really smart person who thinks things through. So whatever decision you make is going to be the right one for you. I'm glad your pain is under more control! much love

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I'm guessing about what your problem may be, but I think I might have a similar issue, as a hysterectomy has been an option for me since I was 20. I'm in a little different situation because I really want kids, but I don't know if it is possible. I know the pain can be excrutiating, and at times I have been tempted to get the hysterectomy to get rid of the pain and other side effects. The one thing that stops me from doing it is going in to menopause this young. I think the hot flashes, hormone imbalance, and other symptoms of menopause would be just as bad as the pain.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Remember, you know your body best, and you know how you envision your future, so don't let anyone talk you into (or out of) anything you know is the right decision for you.

 

[dee47]

I understand (believe me, I do) the intense desire to have biological children, but as an adoptive mom I feel compelled to mention here that not being able to get pregnant DOES NOT equal not being able to have kids.

I'm just saying.

 

[magicbeanstalk]

Seek numerous different doctor's advice.

If it is true that one can not have kids of their own, be optimistic about helping other children. Like chidlren of friends or relatives. There are many ways one can make an impact on children's lives in a positive way.

Have a Great day, keep your head up and best of wishes.

 

[DisneyFairytale]

I've decided to hold off on having the surgery. I just can't commit to having it, and I don't want to make a mistake that will stay with me like that. I got different meds, which manage the pain much better, and I figure that if I dealt with it this long, a couple more months/years or whatever to properly make a decision won't be too bad. I really hope I'm making the right choice on this.

Good for you for making that decision. Knowing you can have this health issue cared for 100% with surgery is absolutely wonderful. It's great to know you always have that option but as everyone else has said, waiting a little longer until you know 100% that is what you want to do, might unable you to experience to most amazing gift of giving life.

I was born with a health problem that required me having 14 very serious surgeries. The last one I barely made it thru. My outlook on children before those surgeries was non-existent. My life I felt was busy and complicated enough as it was without adding those little monsters to the equation. I have over the last year, met the most incredible man in the world. He has turned me upside down and taught me a lot of things about myself I didn't know. My thinking changed a little and I now cannot wait to have children. I am glad I went ahead with those surgeries as its now given me the option to have them.

I'm really happy to know, you have weighed your options out. I will pray for you and hope you aren't dealing with to much pain, discomfort or problems with that medical issue you are dealing with.

Good luck kiddo.

 

[quentina]

I had issues....suffered for years....major pain. I did have one child when I was 27 and at that point there was no turning back....complete removal.

I now have 3 kids (as you can imagine, 2 are adopted). Everything happens for a reason and I believe that these kids needed us more than I needed to give birth.

I would be sure that their is nothing else that can be done. Other issues do come when you are missing these organs....osteoporosis (?), menopausal symptoms, hormone therapy etc.....it is better however, not a complete walk in the park.

Although you don't want kids now....at some point that special someone will come along....Adoption is an option however, please know that some people want "blood" only. I have a cousin who can not have children, has had numerous failed in-vitro cycles and her husband will not budge . He has no idea what he is missing out on.

A shot of Lupron may be all you need..........personally, I would get a second and/or third opinion.

Good Luck and I hope you feel better soon!