This post actually began formulating itself in my mind while we were on this trip. Do you do this too?? Begin writing your TR in your mind as you are doing things in the parks? Almost like narrating your goings-on in your head? Please tell me you do.
Being as I spent many of my formative years in the 80's, I am mos def a material girl. And I"m living in a material world. And Disney World is about as material as a world can get. So I am going to spend this post, and these precious moments of your life, giving you my take on Disney World crap. Some of it will be crap you buy there, and I will also cover crap you buy to take there. In particular, I want to cover:
Park Shoes
Park Bags
Park Crap - oops, I mean SOUVENIERS
Park Shoes
After resisting the ridiculous Croc phase sweeping the nation for quite some time, I finally caved and bought my kids
Crocs for this trip. I actually talk about this back in the early stages of my PTR. I found some for DD that were actually (kind of) cute. I made this decision based on three facts: people said they were comfortable, I didn't worry about them getting wet/filthy/covered in slurpee/lost, and finally, they are pretty cheap as far as kid shoes go.
Basically, my kids loved their Crocs and to this day I have a hard time getting them to wear anything else. They have each had 3-4 subsequent pairs. Neither kid complained about their feet hurting, so I feel like I got a good bargain for my money. We did trade off each day - Crocs, tennis shoes (maybe you call them sneakers? trainers?), Crocs, tennis shoes. I just heard somehwhere you are aupposed to do this. As for me, I wore my Nike's each and every day. No complaints. After years of dance and abuse my feet are impervious to pain and covered in a crispy outer shell. Yummy.
Park Bags
You may recall (probably not - it's been two years. Who am I kidding?) that I succumbed to the not-so-subliminal messages on this baord and bought mself a Baggallini. No, it was not lime green. It is a light blue color. Did I like it?? Was it everything I dreamed it would be and more? Well.... Eh.
The positives? It fits a large amount of stuff. You can stuff more crap in there than you would ever think. There are tons of nifty pockets and slots and I am a sucker for this kind of thing.
The negatives? It hurts! Two hours into the first day I knew I was in trouble. The metal clip holding the strap together sat right on my clavicle (collarbone, people. keep up.) and it really began to hurt. Maybe I am just a freak with a huge clavicle (collarbone, remember?), but that clip dug in there and wouldn't let go. I hadn't brought along another bag, so I dealt with it by keeping my thumb in between the metal clip and my freakish bone. For weeks after returning home I found myself resting my thumb on my clavicle (collarbone -sheesh!).
Would I recommend the baggalini? Since I am the first freak to have this problem, sure, I guess so. I have used it a few times since for short day trips. I have not taken it back to WDW however. I went back to the leather Coach backpack I told you about 708 aeons ago.
Park Crap
Ah, that brings us, at last, to the most crapalicious crap there is - PARK CRAP. I knew my kiddos would be enthralled by park crap. I knew my MIL would take hours in gift shops, as she loves crap more than crap's mother loves crap. She buys souveniers for trips she doesn't even take. As in, we say,
"We're going to Colorado to ski for a week."
and she says,
"Here's a 20 spot - buy me some crap that says Rocky Mountains on it."
I was not prepared for the way my DH would love the crap. That man was impossible to get out of a gift shop! He suddenly developed a need for a Mickey Mouse watch (what?), a Goofy golf jacket (what?), a Mickey Mouse baseball bobble head (excuse me?), and 606 other pieces of crap. Who da thunk it?
As for me, I buy a coffee mug on each trip. I now have quite a collection. When I use them I think back on my trips and how much fun I have. This trip I actually made a bad choice, though. I bought a blue, rounded mug with corcered Mickey on it from the park formerly known as MGM. It says "Magical" on the back. It is tres cute, but it sucks. It doesn't fit in the cup holder in my car (I do a lot of coffee drinking in my car) and the cup gets HOT. It will burn the flesh from your fingers. My other WDW mugs do not do this.
One of the most craptastic purchases we made were two doll and clothes kits for DD. These are along the lines of Polly Pockets, for those of you in the know. If you are not in the know, say a silent thank you to the higher power of your choice and follow along. Basically, this is a tiny doll with a removeable head and removable clothes made of molded rubber. The clothes fit onto the doll with a lot of pushing, pulling, swearing and praying. The shoes these things come with are about the size of a 3 year old's pinky nail. The first such crap of this sort we purchased (at least on the trip; we had a whole box of this crap at home already) was a bag of Minnie Mouse clothes and accessories on our very first night of this vacation. I believe it was from World of Disney at DTD, but it could've been the toy store. If you remember, DD was ENTHRALLED with Minnie, so this was a good purchase. She played with it for lonngggg time. Minnie's head broke off about a year later, so we bought another whole pack of the same crap this past February, but she is kind of over it now. Minnie's black cat (about the size of a dime) gets the most love these days.
Ok, so on our second MK day we bought another bag of crap like the Minnie crap, but this time it was Ariel crap. Ariel came with several interchangeable bras. She could have legs OR fins. Nice. Her head came off completely so you could get her dresses on more easily. She also had two heads to choose from - one with a crown, one without. DD was very pleased with this crap and woke up every morning in the hotel and got on the floor to play with Ariel, sniging "ah ah ahhhhhhhh." the whole time in a horribly tuneless warble that ensured we were all wide awake.
I'm going to tell you a funny story about what happened to one of Ariel's heads now. It is kind of gross. It is up to you - I'll color the story BROWN (foreshadowing alert!). If you don't want to read the story, scroll now! Scroll quickly so none of the details inadvertently jump out at you!
Many months after returning from our trip, DS and DD were playing with Ariel. DS was the Sea Witch and also Beast, who came with a similar set with Belle crap. You can buy them at Target - not just at WDW! Yay! OK, so I hear a moaning call from upstairs,
"Moooooooo - mmmmmmmmmmmmyyyy! Oh no, Mommmmm- my!"
I run upstairs, two at a time, screaming what's wrong? what's wrong? I get to the top of the stairs and both kids are standing at the bathroom threshold, looking in dejectedly. DS says,
"Ariel's head is in the toilet." in a small voice.
No problem. I ran to get the slotted spoon to fish her out. I will give them the lecture on not playing in the toilet after I retrieve the head and dunk it in bleach. They were probably pretending it was the ocean, right?
Well, I get back to the bathroom and peer into the toilet and I get quite a disturbing shock. There, among a pile of small, rabbit-like turds, is Ariel's smiling head. The one with the crown. She is smiliing up at me from her new home among the turds like a queen on her throne. I ask the only question one would ask at a time like this,
"Whose turds are these?"
DS claims the turds.
DD, who has not even come into the bathroom and never saw the turds, begins dry heaving. She is horking and gagging and sputtering. In all of this I hear,
"I (hork) don't want (gag) that Ariel head (dry heave) anymore! I"ll just (gag) use the (hork) head without the crown (heave) all the time from now on."
So, I did what any responsible parent would do in this situation. I flushed the toilet and made my children swear to never mention this again. I did not need a lecture from DH on flushing non-waste objects. After all, Ariel's head was smaller than those turds.
I am at peace. Always.
. Your baby is beautiful!!
. If you get bored and want to read another TR there is a link in my siggy. It is just so great to see you around again!!
.
!! Very funny, thank you so much for restarting this report!
Seems like an expensive park hobby.
I wasn't even on the boards back when this trip happened, but your title caught my attention!! I, too, am one of those people that open my mouth before thinking things through completely. Our upcoming trip will be the third trip I've taken with my MIL!!!!! 
Where in Austin are you at??
