I am just so dissapointed right now :(

[southern_belle21]

Well, when I got home the other night DH said he needed to talk to me about our upcoming anniversary Disney trip that is less than a month away. He told me that even though we've had points rented and paid for, we were now going to be unable to take our trip. Not so much because of the money, but because since he works with his family and his mom is building a house, and he needs to stay here to work and try to help finish getting his mom's house built. He also has loaned his family some money out of our savings account to help with the business without talking to me about it. This was supposed to be our anniversary trip to celebrate our 10th anniversary, and we were staying at AKV with a Savannah view, which is where we have both talked about staying ever since we started going to WDW together. I am so upset right now and SO disappointed. We had been planning this trip since last year, and I had all of our dining and ADRs taken care of. With less than a month out, I had someone lined up to keep our dogs, and check our mail, and I had the time off from work. I was in the mode to go...do you guys know what I mean? I had been thinking about what we were gonna be doing, and where we were gonna be eating (at some of our personal favs) and planning out our days...now it's all gone I am trying to be understanding about the reasons behind it, but it's not easy. This has just been something we have been excited about and talking about for so many months! Not only that, but this is our 10th anniversary, and it was supposed to be special. As for the money that has already been paid into the trip: well at first DH said that we would just have to lose it...which I understand, since we were renting from a DVC member, but it made me even more upset...but DH talked to the DVC member we are renting from, and they are going to try to see if there is any way to rent out the reservation and possibly get back just a little of our money. I guess something is better than nothing. I am just so very sad, and I can't believe that it's really off. I really hope that we will be able to take a trip in the future to celebrate our anniversary. Just needed to vent.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Well, when I got home the other night DH said he needed to talk to me about our upcoming anniversary Disney trip that is less than a month away. He told me that even though we've had points rented and paid for, we were now going to be unable to take our trip. Not so much because of the money, but because since he works with his family and his mom is building a house, and he needs to stay here to work and try to help finish getting his mom's house built. He also has loaned his family some money out of our savings account to help with the business without talking to me about it. This was supposed to be our anniversary trip to celebrate our 10th anniversary, and we were staying at AKV with a Savannah view, which is where we have both talked about staying ever since we started going to WDW together. I am so upset right now and SO disappointed. We had been planning this trip since last year, and I had all of our dining and ADRs taken care of. With less than a month out, I had someone lined up to keep our dogs, and check our mail, and I had the time off from work. I was in the mode to go...do you guys know what I mean? I had been thinking about what we were gonna be doing, and where we were gonna be eating (at some of our personal favs) and planning out our days...now it's all gone I am trying to be understanding about the reasons behind it, but it's not easy. This has just been something we have been excited about and talking about for so many months! Not only that, but this is our 10th anniversary, and it was supposed to be special. As for the money that has already been paid into the trip: well at first DH said that we would just have to lose it...which I understand, since we were renting from a DVC member, but it made me even more upset...but DH talked to the DVC member we are renting from, and they are going to try to see if there is any way to rent out the reservation and possibly get back just a little of our money. I guess something is better than nothing. I am just so very sad, and I can't believe that it's really off. I really hope that we will be able to take a trip in the future to celebrate our anniversary. Just needed to vent.

I am so sorry to hear about your trip. I would be really sad and upset and probably not very happy with my dh if this occurred.

Something just doesn't seem right about this. Why all of a sudden does he have to stay to work? Didn't dh ask for those days off? Didn't the rest of the family know he would be gone so they could be making plans? It is not like he sprung it on them. Surely there is someone else in the family that can take over his duties for the days he will be gone.

Why does he have to stay and "try" to help finish his mom's house? Are they behind? Is there a reason that it has to be done by xx date? What if it doesn't get done? Will his staying here to work on the house be the "make it or break it" in getting it done? What is the worst that will happen if the house doesn't get done?

The part about loaning money without consulting you bothers me and I would think you would be very upset about this! Is that the money that would be used for your trip? Will this money be paid back or is it gone forever?

Again, I am sorry to hear about your change in plans. You are handling it much better than I would, I am afraid. I would be very mad and demanding answers beyond what you were given. I would be questioning why our plans as a couple, for our anniversary, do not matter as much as his mom's house.

Sending hugs.

 

[allison443]

The part about loaning money to the business stood out to me...how is the business doing? Do you think there are financial issues which might be worrying your dh and maybe he feels it's better to cancel?
I'm sorry you won't get to take your trip. Disney will still be there in the future and I hope you get to go soon!

 

[dislaney]

Sorry your so disappointed! Maybe you can take your trip at a later time? The money thing would bother me as well but maybe he has a good reason for keeping it from you?

 

[emma'smom]

Since you already paid to rent the DVC points and may not be able to recoup that $$. Why don't you just go and take a friend? Let you DH stay home and build whatever he wants to?

 

[starann]

This stinks!

Is there anyway you could go on a solo trip? rather than loose the money? I know it was supposed to be an annv trip, but at least you could go?

 

[southern_belle21]

I am so sorry to hear about your trip. I would be really sad and upset and probably not very happy with my dh if this occurred.

Something just doesn't seem right about this. Why all of a sudden does he have to stay to work? Didn't dh ask for those days off? Didn't the rest of the family know he would be gone so they could be making plans? It is not like he sprung it on them. Surely there is someone else in the family that can take over his duties for the days he will be gone.

Why does he have to stay and "try" to help finish his mom's house? Are they behind? Is there a reason that it has to be done by xx date? What if it doesn't get done? Will his staying here to work on the house be the "make it or break it" in getting it done? What is the worst that will happen if the house doesn't get done?

The part about loaning money without consulting you bothers me and I would think you would be very upset about this! Is that the money that would be used for your trip? Will this money be paid back or is it gone forever?

Again, I am sorry to hear about your change in plans. You are handling it much better than I would, I am afraid. I would be very mad and demanding answers beyond what you were given. I would be questioning why our plans as a couple, for our anniversary, do not matter as much as his mom's house.

Sending hugs.

Yes his family knew that we had this planned. We have been planning it since last year, and paid a deposit on the DVC reservation in March. We just paid the rest of the payment about three months ago. No, apparently they just can't do without him. The reason that they are so "pushed" to get her house done is because my sister and brother in law are having their second baby in Oct. and they want to move into her old house before the baby gets here. Originally she was hoping to be in at least by Christmas. He has had it squared away with them since March I know. Yes, this money he loaned would have gone toward our trip. He says that the business will be paying us back in installments. The money is going to be used to buy equipment for the business. I didn't even mention that last month we ended up paying for the other half of a cabin that his family rented, and took a trip up to the mountains with his entire family. Yes, it just seems to me that if the business was doing that bad, that we shouldn't have all gone up and stayed in a luxury cabin for a week. It doesn't make sense to me either. Everything was great, and DH was very excited too, up until the night that he told me all of this. He just hit me with it out of no where. It was like it happened in the course of a day. When I have questioned him about why, he just says that everyone is having to make sacrifices...but then that doesn't make sense at ALL since his brother just bought a new boat. I'm just very confused. Every time I try to talk to him about it, or I get upset and tell him that I don't really understand why we're having to do this, he defends his family, and says that I'm being very selfish.

The part about loaning money to the business stood out to me...how is the business doing? Do you think there are financial issues which might be worrying your dh and maybe he feels it's better to cancel?
I'm sorry you won't get to take your trip. Disney will still be there in the future and I hope you get to go soon!

Well, if they were having such bad financial issues, then why do they keep spending money on things that have nothing to do with the business...his mom's house...the luxury cabin...his brother's boat...I'm just having a hard time getting my mind around it all.

 

[southern_belle21]

This stinks!

Is there anyway you could go on a solo trip? rather than loose the money? I know it was supposed to be an annv trip, but at least you could go?

Oh let me just say. I did think of doing this. I was so upset that we were going to have to give up the perfectly paid for reservations at AKV and all the dining ADRs that I've stressed out making, that I brought up the idea of me going with down there with a friend, and he was furious that I even brought that idea up! I was thinking, "well better than just throwing it all away" I could make use of it. He said I was so selfish for thinking this. That it was supposed to be our special trip. Yeah. It was. Apparently I am just crazy.

 

[Polyluvr]

I think you should go-w a friend etc.

For your 10th anniv and your DH's family can't spare him for a week?

I would really go-and I'd let him know my feelings about lending $ without telling me!

Please let us know what you decide!

 

[southern_belle21]

I think you should go-w a friend etc.

For your 10th anniv and your DH's family can't spare him for a week?

I would really go-and I'd let him know my feelings about lending $ without telling me!

Please let us know what you decide!

Oh trust me, I have made my feelings about the whole situation known. He keeps defending his family and telling me that I'm being selfish about asking to go with a friend. I guess there's nothing I can do. Just let it go and try to get over it. That's the only thing left.

 

[southern_belle21]

I just had to vent about this to make sure I'm not crazy for getting upset. DH says I shouldn't be so upset. That we can take our trip at another time...which I understand, however, it does hurt to know that his family comes before us. He keeps saying that this is not the case...and that what he's doing is for our best interest. I hope that one day I will be able to see that he was right. Right now though, it just hurts and makes me sad.

 

[Belle0101]

I'm probably not going to say this right, it's late, I'm tired, I have to be up in 5 hours, but here goes (rather bluntly) ...

He has chosen his family before his wife and you're being selfish? Seriously? And he loaned money that could affect your lifestyle without even mentioning it to you beforehand?

And further got upset when you suggested going with a friend because it's supposed to be your special trip. So what do you get instead of this special trip?

Sorry but I just don't see how you're being selfish. It's not like you were just going up the road to a fancy hotel and dinner. It's Disney! Which yes, will still be there later but still ... it's Disney!

I hope you two can work something out.

 

[chibichibirei]

If your trip is paid for already, and you are going to be out the money already, I can not fathom why you would be "selfish" for wanting to go with a friend rather than letting the whole thing go to waste. It was his choice to agree to stay home, and lend money with out giving you notice. He knew this was important to you, I'm sorry things aren't working out how you hoped for this trip/anniversary

 

[bumbershoot]

I would be going alone.



"I'm just very confused. Every time I try to talk to him about it, or I get upset and tell him that I don't really understand why we're having to do this, he defends his family, and says that I'm being very selfish."

Is this the very first time he's done something like this? If so, I'd still be going alone, but maybe he gets a pass.

If it's a pattern, though...if he won't explain things, gets defensive, confuses you, leaves you confused and doesn't seem to mind that...I would be wondering what is going on.

DH and I, before we were married, had some problems. And I could tell when they were cropping up, because he wouldn't make a bit of sense for days and days. Later, I would find out that he was hiding something from me, something he didn't want to tell me b/c he was 'afraid', etc etc. His stories wouldn't line up, HE would say he was confused, etc. DH has done some HARD work in the last 7-8 years (7th wedding anniv tomorrow, but the problems really came to light more than a year before that and in between that time and the wedding he did some serious soul-searching and counseling), but when we were dating and engaged (the first time) he was a fairly big liar, and it was NEVER for a "good" reason. Usually just about money (not usually serious money stuff) and not wanting to be in trouble. He would obfuscate, allow me to be confused, and double-talk (though he was bad at it, so it was more like 1.5 talk ha ha).

Anyway, if this is a pattern with him, I'd be really really careful.



No matter what, though, I'd be going to WDW so that this money wasn't absolutely thrown down the drain. HE chose to take money from savings; I don't care what the reason is, you don't just take money without talking about it with your spouse...he made that decision, and you can make a decision too.

 

[hereyago]

i would be going alone.








No matter what, though, i'd be going to wdw so that this money wasn't absolutely thrown down the drain. He chose to take money from savings; i don't care what the reason is, you don't just take money without talking about it with your spouse...he made that decision, and you can make a decision too.

ita!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[agnes!]

Shoot, if I were you and had a good relationship with the MIL, I'd take her. Twisted logic perhaps, but no one (including your DH) could object and you'd be the golden child in the family ("gee, she took Mom to WDW!") for *quite* a while.

And you'd get to go .
agnes!

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

Have a nice solo trip! I don't know I'd rather go solo then lose money

 

[parrothead365]

If I was in a situation where I couldn't go, I would insist my wife go and take a friend. I would also have another anniversary trip planned post haste!! I think your Hubby is being unreasonable about you going. Give him a couple of days to cool off, He probably isn't thinking real straight knowing he was going to have to disappoint you. Hope it works out.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm probably not going to say this right, it's late, I'm tired, I have to be up in 5 hours, but here goes (rather bluntly) ...

He has chosen his family before his wife and you're being selfish? Seriously? And he loaned money that could affect your lifestyle without even mentioning it to you beforehand?

And further got upset when you suggested going with a friend because it's supposed to be your special trip. So what do you get instead of this special trip?

Sorry but I just don't see how you're being selfish. It's not like you were just going up the road to a fancy hotel and dinner. It's Disney! Which yes, will still be there later but still ... it's Disney!

I hope you two can work something out.

Something just doesn't sound right and I'd wonder what's going on with the business and/or with your husband.

 

[surfergirl602]

Oh trust me, I have made my feelings about the whole situation known. He keeps defending his family and telling me that I'm being selfish about asking to go with a friend. I guess there's nothing I can do. Just let it go and try to get over it. That's the only thing left.

Wow, I agree with the PP's. Your husband sounds like a big controlling jerk! It's already paid for, you're not getting any money back, so why should he care if you go with a friend?

Stand up for yourself and go anyway!! You are your own person. He took money from the savings without consulting you... you can take your already paid for vacation without consulting him.

My husband would practically shove me out the door and tell me to have a grand time.