I am a terrible person

[GalDisney]

I am a terrible person, ok maybe not completely terrible but maybe a bit jealous.
My brother has been hired for a $20.00 an hr union job, he has a girlfriend, and they will be movong in together into a, 2 bedroom apt.so they can split rent and save money.. My brothers girlfriend earns 11.00 an hr, she owns a condo, which she cant afford on her own so her ex husband helps with the payments. Now she is going to sell it and move in with my bro.
While here i am living in a one bedroom apt, struggling to get by working a pt retail job with no benefits with no one to help me and not even anywhere close to earning 20.00 an hr. I am looking for a FT job, but no luck yet and even then, i will have to work 2 jobs to get by. I guess I am jealous, because number 1 my bro will be earning good money, and his girlfriend has been sruggling but now she has gotten her hooks in my bro now he will be helping her finacially. and here i sit trying to get by on my own.
And my sister is married, has a nice home, has a hubby who earns good money, they just bought a brand new mini cooper while I drive a 10 yr old explorer. I feel like i have been passed by, so to speak.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Go to college

 

[GalDisney]

<<Go to college>>
I did.

 

[mickman1962]

not terrible, probably just not highly motivated. There are plenty of ways to improve you living standards. It just takes hard work.

 

[Evil Queen]

I am a terrible person, ok maybe not completely terrible but maybe a bit jealous.
My brother has been hired for a $20.00 an hr union job, he has a girlfriend, and they will be movong in together into a, 2 bedroom apt.so they can split rent and save money.. My brothers girlfriend earns 11.00 an hr, she owns a condo, which she cant afford on her own so her ex husband helps with the payments. Now she is going to sell it and move in with my bro.
While here i am living in a one bedroom apt, struggling to get by working a pt retail job with no benefits with no one to help me and not even anywhere close to earning 20.00 an hr. I am looking for a FT job, but no luck yet and even then, i will have to work 2 jobs to get by. I guess I am jealous, because number 1 my bro will be earning good money, and his girlfriend has been sruggling but now she has gotten her hooks in my bro now he will be helping her finacially. and here i sit trying to get by on my own.
And my sister is married, has a nice home, has a hubby who earns good money, they just bought a brand new mini cooper while I drive a 10 yr old explorer. I feel like i have been passed by, so to speak.

It's horrible to feel like something has passed you by,but you need to step on the gas (so to speak) and catch it on your own.

I don't think your a bad person, but the jealousy will get to you if you let it.

Also, the girlfriend that has her "hooks" in your brother, is she bad? Terrible to him? Is she expecting him to pay all the bills and her just keep her money to herself (and even if this does happen, seems like your brother is ok with it).
She's smart to sell the condo if she can't afford it.

 

[kdibattista]

not terrible, probably just not highly motivated. There are plenty of ways to improve you living standards. It just takes hard work.

I would view this as a wake up call that you are not happy in your current situation and look for ways to improve that. Good luck!!!

Also, please don't let your jealousy cloud your relationship with your brother

 

[hentob]

I guess I am jealous, because number 1 my bro will be earning good money, and his girlfriend has been sruggling but now she has gotten her hooks in my bro now he will be helping her finacially. and here i sit trying to get by on my own.

Why do you state that your brother's girlfriend "has gotten her hooks in my bro"? That is a strange way to think. Maybe he loves her? Maybe he enjoys helping her?


How old are you?

I don't think you are a terrible person, but I think you are very confused as to how life works.

Good luck!

 

[disykat]

I think a little bit of jealousy is a natural thing. You're not a terrible person. Everyone feels like that sometimes. The key is not letting that feeling take root.

If you're going to compare yourself to someone, you can't just compare yourself to those who are MORE fortunate in their current circumstances. You have to also look at those who are less fortunate. You also have to look at the long term picture.

I think it's especially hard with siblings, because you do tend to compare yourself. Just give yourself a shake, tell yourself to get over it, and be happy for your brother.

 

[kpm76]

If you went to college, what kind of a degree did you receive? I'd try to maximize on that. Certainly you should be able to land something better than a p/t retail job if you have a four year degree. If you still live close to the school you attended, go visit the career development center. Many schools have ongoing mentoring programs for alumni. Good luck and try to have a positive attitude

 

[DVCLiz]

Sorry you feel so down about your situation, but it seems like you are a young college graduate. You have plenty of opportunities!!!! If you're just working one pt job, and you say you'll need two jobs to get by once you get a ft job, go ahead and get that second job now. If you'll have to fit it in around a ft job later, you can certainly fit it around your current pt job. Could you babysit at night or on the weekends? That's a great source of extra cash.

Go to a job fair, go back to your college (or email them if you're not still in the area) and ask for some career counseling. Go back to school and get some practical training if you can afford it - even a class at a time will give you more options.

The bottom line in your situation is that it's always harder for one than for two, but if that's your circumstance right now, make the most of it. Everybody starts off the same way!!!

 

[Chicago526]

Your biggest problem is that you need a better paying job, everything else will fall into place once you make more money and have benfits.

If you're only working part time now, you should have plenty of time to focus on getting a good paying FT job. If you went to college, that's a leg up! Go back to your college and use every job finding resourse they have, most colleges I've heard of are happy to help alumni find work. Heck, if you're college is near enough, maybe try working for them!

Also, see if you can find temp-to-hire work at a temp agnecy. Three of my friends have found perminant work with good pay and benifits this way. You work as a temp for a year or two, but the pay is usually decent, it's full time, and temp agency may even offer insurance after you've been there a while. If nothing else, it's something to put on your resume to help you find a better job elsewhere.

Open up you job search, look at jobs you never though of, look at jobs beyond what your degree is for. Look at the want ads from A to Z, read every single one and circle anything that sounds remotely like something you can do (and be open minded). Even if its just clerical work, it' can still pay decent and you'd get benifits. Once there, you can aply for better positions within the company. My own company does most of it's hireing within, in fact. They don't look outside unless no one inside applies for the job.

Also, don't just rely on the want ads. If there are some companies you know of that you'd like to work for, go to their websites and see if they post job openings. Not all companies post jobs in the want ads, you could be missing great oprotunities!

Also, when was the last time you revised your resume? Look over it and see if there are areas that you can improve. Have a friend look over it and get their opinion. Make sure everything is spelled right and you've used proper grammer (you'd be surprised at the typos that can happen that spell check doesn't catch!).

And maybe take another look at your retail job. If you have a good preformance record with them, see if they can move you to full time, or see if they have assistant manager or manager positions open, not just at your store but at other stores in the area. If you're going to be stuck there for a while, you may as well make more money, and being full time and/or management may qualify you for benifits!

 

[azgal81]

Are you a terrible person probably not but you are letting the envy you have for your brother override your life.

I don't know why you are saying you graduated from college but can't get a full time job. I know it's hard to get your first job after graduating from college. I was very lucky I got hired 3 months after graduated and have a great paying job and excellent benefits but I made it happen. College does not automatically mean some company is going to hire you. There are quite a few people that never even went to college that have full time jobs.

Sounds like you are lazy. You could get a better paying job if you really wanted to just get off her butt and make it happen. A job isn't just going to fall into your lap. Have you submitted your resume to other companies, gone to recrutiments, talked to people who might have connections or maybe look into temp work sometimes those jobs turn into full time.

If you don't like your situation fix it don't let it consume you. I don't think there is a such thing as lucky I think hard works pays off for people sounds like you need to make your own breaks and do something about your situation.

As for your brother he loves her what's wrong with that? And they want to move in together so what if he's making more then her not every relationship has both partners making equal money. You should be more supportive!

 

[GalDisney]

Sorry, I guess I was just venting by posting the original message. Been having a bad week and am getting very low on cash.
I did have a FT job interview last week, but have not heard anything yet. And am going to a job fair next week.
And I am not lazy, I have been working since I was 15 years of age.
I do have a degree yet it is "just" an AA degree in liberal arts. Would love to return to school but since i support myself, and need to work two jobs to just get by, there is no way I could attend school, let alone pay for it. I did have avery good job that paid 40 grand per yr but lost it and since then it has been difficult. I dunno, maybe i am just looking in the wrong places and i probably am not living in the right place, either. And I am not a kid, I am 40 plus so I do have alot of experience..so I duuno.