TW1, have you abandoned the US 301 alternative altogether? Back in February, the OP posted
this link detailing an alternate route around Baltimore and DC.
The main concern at the moment is the construction on the Wilson Bridge on the I-95/495 beltway around DC.
Here's one alternate route I took from Richmond to Baltimore about 6 years ago, in reverse to get you from Baltimore to Richmond --
Take I-97 south from Baltimore toward Annapolis
Exit onto State Route 3 southbound
Follow signs for US 301 south -- this will take you in the direction of Waldorf and St. Charles. At this point you will join up with the directions in the link between Annapolis and Waldorf.
In VA, when you reach Bowling Green on US 301, take state Route 207 to I-95. You can take US 301 south to I-295, the bypass around Richmond, but that is also a two-lane (one in each direction) for much of that stretch.
SELLINGINNJ, a lot of people have taken that route and swear by it. I've driven stretches of I-81 through VA and yes, traffic does move and it is a very scenic drive. I-81 does have quite a bit of tractor-trailer traffic on it, though, moreso than highway planners anticipated when it was built. You could take I-78 to I-81 and then get on I-64 east at Staunton, VA, toward Richmond, then take Route 288 around Richmond to I-95. Once you're through Petersburg, you don't go directly through any more large cities until Jacksonville, FL
Hope this helps you both. Good luck!