Hypothetical question. WWYD

[sparklynails23]

You are only the executor. It is not for you to decide. Either her will specifies how she wanted it divided or you go by the rules of the state- each child gets 1/3, which would mean that the child from the single child family would get more.

 

[sparklynails23]

I agree.

And I would go on to say if one of the children had died, that third of the estate ought to go directly to the grandchildren. What do you all think about division of assets when one of the children in a family died but leaves grandchildren. Do they get the standard grandchild disbursement or do they get the portion of the estate their parent would have received?

They get the percent their parent would have received.

 

[Swimalie]

Well, the will should state what each grandchild gets. The executor's role is only to make sure the wishes of the will are carried out.

But, in making the will, I would make it even among all the children.

 

[j's m]

We've had this happen with both my DM and DMIL.

BIL has twins, I was only able to have one child. So I felt like I was being punished for only having one. Every Christmas, birthday, etc they always got double. Then she decided to give each grandchild $ 1000. DH actually argued with her over it, and we gave her back the $ 1000 on principle. Stupid but that's what we felt.

My DM always gave Christmas money to each person. I always felt that was wrong because one DSis was unable to have children. When my mother because incompetent and I took over as POA, I gave equally to all 3 of us, also because I felt the other way I would be getting more than them.

Both my DM and DMIL have wills that say per sturpis, so if they felt this was fair in death, it should be fair in life.

 

[mrsklamc]

She's not giving it to the daughters, she's giving it to the grandchildren. They should all get equal amounts.

 

[SSRFred]

You are only the executor. It is not for you to decide. Either her will specifies how she wanted it divided or you go by the rules of the state- each child gets 1/3, which would mean that the child from the single child family would get more.

Exactly! The Executor does not decide what amounts and who to give the money to. The Will directs the Executor. And if there is no Will, your State statutes direct you.

The Executor or Administrator never decides on their own how to distribute the money.

 

[mjkacmom]

In our family, the money goes to the children, not the grandchildren.

 

[bettymae1121]

I'm going to warn you that no matter what you decide to do, someone may be upset with with it.

A friend of mine's wealthy grandmother passed away, her will state each grandchild would get the same amount. My friend has two sisters, her Aunt had one child and her Uncle I think had two children. The aunt and uncle both challenged the will and my friend's father, the executor, had to give in so the estate wouldn't be eaten up by legal costs. The amount of money was then divided by 3 (the number of children) and then that thrid was divided equally amongst the grandkids, meaning my friend got a smaller share than her cousisns since she had more siblings.

 

[tlbwriter]

BIL has twins, I was only able to have one child. So I felt like I was being punished for only having one. Every Christmas, birthday, etc they always got double. Then she decided to give each grandchild $ 1000. DH actually argued with her over it, and we gave her back the $ 1000 on principle. Stupid but that's what we felt.

My DM always gave Christmas money to each person. I always felt that was wrong because one DSis was unable to have children. When my mother because incompetent and I took over as POA, I gave equally to all 3 of us, also because I felt the other way I would be getting more than them.

I'm confused. Was your MIL giving money to each *family* or to each *person.* On birthdays, if each of your BIL's kids got a $50 gift, you felt your child should have received a $100 gift? Am I understanding correctly? And at Christmas, if your mother wanted to give every person a $100 gift, you felt your childless sister should have received a larger gift?

 

[FireDancer]

You divide the money between the 3 daughters, that is all.

This is my suggestion. Each daughter can then decide how to divide up the money. I know my grandma's will will give all of her much less than a considerable estate equally to her children. It will then be up to my mom, aunts, and uncle to decide what they do with it.

 

[mrsklamc]

This is my suggestion. Each daughter can then decide how to divide up the money. I know my grandma's will will give all of her much less than a considerable estate equally to her children. It will then be up to my mom, aunts, and uncle to decide what they do with it.

But the money is not being left to the daughters, period. It's being left to the grandchildren, and each is equally her grandchild.

 

[kymmyk13]

each grandchild should get the same amount. One concern I have with the way your husband wants to do is, are you the family with the one child? If so I would no longer even ask for his advice on your mother's estate.

 

[DebMcDonald]

I would say they all get the same.

 

[PaulaSue]

OP, I would give all the same.

 

[ssawka]

It depends! I would split it evenly amongst the 3 daughters, unless there was a specific will stating that the $ should go to the grand children.

 

[DawnM]

I guess I am not following completely either.....if the daughters aren't getting any, then divide EVENLY among the grandchildren. If it isn't specified you can choose to give each daughter the same amount.

When any of the grandparents passed away on DH's or my side, money was split between the immediate children. We never got any. That was fine, I am not complaining at all, just saying that usually this is the norm for our families.

Dawn

 

[design_mom]

When any of the grandparents passed away on DH's or my side, money was split between the immediate children. We never got any. That was fine, I am not complaining at all, just saying that usually this is the norm for our families.

It was the same in my family. However, in DH's family, each grandchild received a gift of money from the grandparent's estate, and the remainder of the estate (a much larger amount) was divided equally among the deceased's immediate children. But, either way, people at the same "level" got the same amount -- grandchildren received the same as the other grandchildren, children received the same the other children.

 

[Ginamarie]

There's a simple answer to this question actually. You have to look at the way the will was written and the laws of your state. As executor, you don't have the option of chosing how the money is disbursed. If you aren't sure how to interpret the language/law and you're not using an attorney, you can contact the Surrogate's Court and they will assist as best they can.

 

[brockash]

I say they all get the same.

ITA! Not to mention, that hopefully the families would be saving the money for the child's education/future ect., so obviously it wouldn't be fair for 3 children to have to share the same amount of money that you gave to the family that only has 1 child ect. Personally, I think the fair thing to do is to give each grandchild a set amount of money.

 

[disykat]

It was the same in my family. However, in DH's family, each grandchild received a gift of money from the grandparent's estate, and the remainder of the estate (a much larger amount) was divided equally among the deceased's immediate children. But, either way, people at the same "level" got the same amount -- grandchildren received the same as the other grandchildren, children received the same the other children.

It was the same when my grandmother passed. Each grandchild received
$10K. The remained of the estate was divided between my mom and her brother. Ultimately my cousins could get more because there are less of them to inherit from their own parents. However, that money could all be gone too. It belongs to our parents to spend or invest as they please. My mom sold her portion of the family 'business' to avoid us inheriting joint ventures with our cousins. It just gets too complicated!

I think an equal gift to each grandchild sounds lovely. (We were all at the age where we needed to buy cars, put down payments on houses, etc. so it was a real gift to us.) However, as others have pointed out, it depends how the will was written.

I am the only one in my family with children, so I'm pretty sure my children aren't mentioned in my parent's will and that it goes directly to me and my siblings to be split evenly.