Hypothetical question. WWYD

[CTdiznymom]

Ok, I have a hypothetical question which DH and I have a difference of opinion on.

Let's say you are the executor of your mom's considerable estate. You want to disperse some money to the 3 married daughters chidren. Two daughters have two children each, the other daughter has one only child. Here's the question:

Do you give each grandchild the same amount of money? Say $5000 each. Or do you give the grandchild that doesn't have siblings $10000 because the other 2 families got that much each in total?

Thanks for weighing in.
(DH says the only child should get double. I say they should all get the same)

 

[Carlyzmom]

I say they all get the same.

 

[QVCshopper]

They should all get the same. It's not fair to the siblings to give more $ to the only child.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I would say that each should get only the same amount.

As an example, I do not have any children but do have four nephews. Financially they are all in very disparate income ranges, but my will is set up so each will get an equal amount.

 

[Sammybeau's Mom]

You divide the money between the 3 daughters, that is all.

 

[mickeymaker2003]

If you are distributing directly to the children, I would think they should get the same amount since they are all the same relation to the owner of the estate. If you were splitting it among just the children (not the grand children), it is fair to give the same amount to each child, regardless of how many children they have. Yes, in practice that gives the only child twice as much if they inherit it from their parent (but they would inherit it from their parent, not from the grandparent's estate).

I say if you are giving it directly to the grandchildren, they should each get the same amount. It doesn't matter how many were in each family, they are all related the same and should be treated equally.

 

[design_mom]

In my opinion, if the money is going directly from grandmother to grandchildren, then they should all get equal amounts.

If the money is going to the daughters (who would in turn share it with the grandchildren), then the daughters should get equal amounts...which would probably mean that the only-child granddaughter would ultimately end up with a larger share.

 

[KJSJpipe]

If you are giving it to the children then the families are not getting $10000 vs $5000.
That is assuming that the money will be set up as part of a trust of some type and the parents do not have access to it or that the parents will not take over the money if it is not set up in trust.
My children recently received money from my Aunt's estate. They each received the same amount as the other cousins in that line even though three of the families have 2 children each and one only has 1 child. It was a one time specific bequest from the estate and the checks were made out to the children.

 

[princesslily]

The SAME! Anything else will cause hard feelings!

 

[GoofyGolferGirl]

I think you divide the money between the three daughters also. That way each "family" gets the same amount, otherwise you are giving 2 families $5,000. more than the third family. What if the third daughter had six children instead of one? Do you think it would be fair to give that family $20,000 more than the other two? I have seen families break up over less than $5000. and they all thought they were stronger than that. How did the mother leave it?

 

[Kae]

I have to say give them the same. My BIL does not have children & when DH's grandmother past DH got x & each of my kids got 0, BIL got x+0 because he doesn't have kids. To me that is saying that MIL thought we weren't giving the kids their amount. It was put in the bank, the money was divided by MIL not gma. And yes it was marked that way. My point is as with the other posters go equal.

When my gma past each of us girls got an equal amount.

Kae

 

[bigmama67]

Didn't the grandmother's will make specific bequests?

I have been an estate planning/administration paralegal on and off for many years. I also faced this when my own grandmother died. (I was given up for adoption and did not meet her till age 27). I have no idea what she bequeathed to each of my cousins but I would guess it was more than I got because she had a long-standing relationship with them...anyway, if there is no specific mention but you want to give the grandchildren something, I would keep it equal.

 

[SoonerSarah]

DH's Grandpa died almost 3 years ago.

In the years before his death, he would often give away money to the family members when his CD's would mature and because he was able to give away up to a certain amount to people before it would effect them tax wise, and he gave the money away because otherwise it would significantly effect him tax wise.

So, for example, he gave $10,000 to each of his children, and then $10,000 to each of their children. And he would also give various amounts to his great-grandchildren.

We never felt that we were being cheated when those with the great-grandkids were given the additional money. They had kids, we did not. Some of the relatives had one kid, some had two, some had none. It was fair because each of his descendants was given the same amount.

Grandpa had nothing to do with who got married or divorced or who had kids or not.

As an example...a few years ago, I was asked what one thing I would like from my Grannie when she eventually dies. Every child of hers was given a choice, and every grandchild was as well. One family has 4 kids, another has 3 and then two other families have two kids each. It is fair and right that each grandchild be given the same options, no matter their family size. We are all her grandchildren and she loves us all equally (well, she loves me the most....haha).

You know what I chose (actually, we were told to choose 2 things)? I chose the strand of pearls that I wore in my wedding (I am the only granddaughter that wanted to wear them), and a stuffed bear. One of my cousins chose an expensive collection of depression era glass. If I end up with the stuffed bear, and that's it, I would be happy.

 

[MrsPete]

Ok, I have a hypothetical question which DH and I have a difference of opinion on.

Let's say you are the executor of your mom's considerable estate. You want to disperse some money to the 3 married daughters chidren. Two daughters have two children each, the other daughter has one only child. Here's the question:

Do you give each grandchild the same amount of money? Say $5000 each. Or do you give the grandchild that doesn't have siblings $10000 because the other 2 families got that much each in total?

Thanks for weighing in.
(DH says the only child should get double. I say they should all get the same)

If your intention is to give money to the DAUGHTERS, then I'd say divide whatever you have three ways, and then it's up to them to decide how to use it for their own families. This would essentially mean that the one with a single child would be "getting more".

On the other hand, if your intention is to give money to the GRANDCHILDREN -- perhaps in the form of a college account -- then I'd divide the money five ways and give each grandchild an equal share.

Or you could do a hybrid: Whatever money you have, give 50% divided three ways to the daughters -- that's for them to use as they see fit for their families. Then divide the remaining 50% among the five grandchildren -- again, perhaps put away for college.

Another question that may come up: Do you anticipate other grandchildren will be born? If so, would those future grandchildren get a portion of this money? That would really make things tricky.

 

[ajh88]

I agree with the PP's - if you are splitting the money between the daughters, then each one gets an equal share and the same goes for the grandchildren, assuming there were no specific requests otherwise.

It is interesting though because my mom has had this discussion with my sister and I - my sister has 3 children and I have 2 (including my step-son). My mom has essentially told my sister and I that each of us will get the same amount for our children and the amount will be divided equally amongst them - meaning my kids will get more each than my sister's because she has 3 and I only have 2. Perhaps she will change her mind in the future, but as of a couple of years ago, those were her wishes.

 

[3boymthr]

I can say non hypothetically that my grandmother left us all the same amount of money and there definitely weren't equal numbers of kids in each family. My aunt and uncle each had 5 children but my dad only had 2. We each got $2,500 - and I didn't feel slighted in the least. Of course you also have to look at it this way, the rest of her estate was split three ways and my DB and I each get half of my dad's one third (1/6) when he passes while the other grandchildren will each only get 1/5 of that 1/3.

 

[scrapquitler]

If the amount was not specified in the will, then the money should be split up evenly among the grandchildren. $5000 each.

 

[disneychrista]

Each grandchild should get the same, if said money is being given to them for them.

 

[Sadie22]

It depends on whether the distribution is to be per stirpes or per capita.

 

[Green Tea]

If you are distributing directly to the children, I would think they should get the same amount since they are all the same relation to the owner of the estate. If you were splitting it among just the children (not the grand children), it is fair to give the same amount to each child, regardless of how many children they have. Yes, in practice that gives the only child twice as much if they inherit it from their parent (but they would inherit it from their parent, not from the grandparent's estate).

I say if you are giving it directly to the grandchildren, they should each get the same amount. It doesn't matter how many were in each family, they are all related the same and should be treated equally.

I agree.

And I would go on to say if one of the children had died, that third of the estate ought to go directly to the grandchildren. What do you all think about division of assets when one of the children in a family died but leaves grandchildren. Do they get the standard grandchild disbursement or do they get the portion of the estate their parent would have received?