Husband mad at me - VENT!

[lovemylife]

Well as you can see we live in Michigan. We are having a really bad snow storm by us for the past few days. My husband had to go to work during this. I asked him if he wanted to take my car, since it is FWD. He said "I don't want to take your car." His car is RWD and is really bad in the snow. On Friday night, he was looking at a used Dodge Durango on line at a dealership. It is a good price and great mileage. Well, he obviously couldn't do anything on Friday night and on Saturday the dealership closed at 2:00. He doesn't leave work until 3:00. Obviously they are closed today. He told me that the roads are so bad that trucks can't get through and that he doesn't know how he is going to get home and that whatever happens to him is my fault, because I didn't let him get a different vehicle years ago. Okay, I know that it is not good in snow, but we have had milder winters here. I know that he needs a different vehicle for winter and I am okay with that. It's just that he likes to spend a lot of money every month and I deal with the finances. So I told him before to stop spending so much and we can look at them. Well, he didn't and the snow and him not having a different vehicle is all my fault. He basically said that if he died or was seriously hurt or in an accident that it was directly all my fault for fighting him on this.
Thanks for listening. I am just so nervous for him to come home safely and he is in a really BAD mood, so happy holidays over here.

 

[loco4dis]

What a big baby he is. If he drives slowly, he won't die. Meet him at the door with a box of tissues.

 

[kellyg403]

Yeah, my dh is the scrooge reincarnated! Last two months everything is my fault. I think in the end there IS such a thing as male menopause and that quite frankly they always retain that "little boy" that doesn't want to take responsibility.

I agree with others, don't worry. Just to spite you at this point he will make it home safely. If he is anything like my dh when he is mad...he will make it home simply because he has plenty to say when he gets there.

Kelly

 

[lovemylife]

He already said that we were going to have a LONG talk about this and everything else that I won't let him buy.

 

[HunnyPots]

You won't let him buy? Jeez, he sounds like a spoiled little boy who's mad at his mommy...

 

[tasha99]

So he's the kind of person who wants you to blame yourself if he gets into an accident? Even though he wouldn't take your car for the day. I hope this behavior is unusual for him, because to me, that's more than being a big baby.

 

[lovemylife]

I told him that tomorrow he needs to go to the dealership and get a vehicle right then and there, so I don't have to deal with this anymore.
It's not like I am against him getting one, it's blaming me for everything when I was concerned about the money per month and how much goes out.

 

[LisaNJ25]

So he's the kind of person who wants you to blame yourself if he gets into an accident? Even though he wouldn't take your car for the day. I hope this behavior is unusual for him, because to me, that's more than being a big baby.

yep, I would of told him to stay in hotel and come home when he grows up.

 

[MushyMushy]

Those are the kinds of guilt games that my teenagers play. Doesn't work with them and it damn sure wouldn't work with a grown man doing it!

(Remind him of the Christmas Story scene where Ralphie's mom washed his mouth out with soap and he fantasized about going blind and it being all her fault -- childish!)

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

Well as you can see we live in Michigan. We are having a really bad snow storm by us for the past few days. My husband had to go to work during this. I asked him if he wanted to take my car, since it is FWD. He said "I don't want to take your car." His car is RWD and is really bad in the snow. On Friday night, he was looking at a used Dodge Durango on line at a dealership. It is a good price and great mileage. Well, he obviously couldn't do anything on Friday night and on Saturday the dealership closed at 2:00. He doesn't leave work until 3:00. Obviously they are closed today. He told me that the roads are so bad that trucks can't get through and that he doesn't know how he is going to get home and that whatever happens to him is my fault, because I didn't let him get a different vehicle years ago. Okay, I know that it is not good in snow, but we have had milder winters here. I know that he needs a different vehicle for winter and I am okay with that. It's just that he likes to spend a lot of money every month and I deal with the finances. So I told him before to stop spending so much and we can look at them. Well, he didn't and the snow and him not having a different vehicle is all my fault. He basically said that if he died or was seriously hurt or in an accident that it was directly all my fault for fighting him on this.
Thanks for listening. I am just so nervous for him to come home safely and he is in a really BAD mood, so happy holidays over here.

I think DH needs to grow up.

 

[SRICE100]

Sounds like us- I am the penny picher and my husband is a spender. Luckily we are usually able to work it out, but DH does get mad when I won't agree to new furniture, renovating the kitchen, etc.....

 

[lovemylife]

Sounds like us- I am the penny picher and my husband is a spender. Luckily we are usually able to work it out, but DH does get mad when I won't agree to new furniture, renovating the kitchen, etc.....

Yes that is how it is. I am a SAHM and he works. I know he works hard, but we only have 1 income. He always wants a new vehicle, boat, land, etc. It is always something that costs lots of money. I told him that in 3 years when the house is paid off and my car is paid off, then we would consider some of the other stuff.
I guess it is my fault for not understanding how much he needed a new car. To me, it ran, it was big and it didn't have a lot of miles on it. I thought we could go a little longer without another payment, but we are having really bad winter so far.

 

[drakethib]

Wahhhhhhhh. My wife wont let me buy a car.

Sheesh.

Male PMS. And I am a guy saying this.

 

[lovemylife]

Wahhhhhhhh. My wife wont let me buy a car.

Sheesh.

Male PMS. And I am a guy saying this.

Thank you for saying this. Here I was thinking I was being totally unreasonable and a [edited for word filter] . He got mad at me this morning because I was brushing off his car and clearing a path for him and start his car, like I do every morning to help him and the snowplow lady drove by and she saw me, so now he thinks he looks bad. I just normally do this to help him in the morning. Just thought I was being nice, I guess not.

 

[agnes!]

I hope your day gets better. I think this bad case of your DH's "I-wannas" is a symptom of other underlying issues, but best of luck to get everything straightened out.

agnes!

 

[Carly_Roach]

He said "I don't want to take your car." His car is RWD and is really bad in the snow.

He told me that the roads are so bad that trucks can't get through and that he doesn't know how he is going to get home and that whatever happens to him is my fault, because I didn't let him get a different vehicle years ago.

I was thinking, "Sorry, but I offered the Durango and said I'd stay indoors today. You refused to take it. Deal." How old is this guy anyway? 12?

But then I changed my mind when you wrote this:

I know that he needs a different vehicle for winter and I am okay with that. It's just that he likes to spend a lot of money every month and I deal with the finances. So I told him before to stop spending so much and we can look at them. Well, he didn't and the snow and him not having a different vehicle is all my fault. He basically said that if he died or was seriously hurt or in an accident that it was directly all my fault for fighting him on this.

Hold up a sec...you KNEW he needed a new vehicle for winter but you veto'd it based on your hope that the winters would stay mild in Michigan? You must not be a Michigan native. The kind of winter we're having this year is typical. Lots of snow, lots of ice, lots of wind. That's Michigan. We've been spoiled the past few years and are now getting back to typical only worse: no money for salt and plows so the roads will be much worse than they used to be.

IMO nothing is more important than safety. #1 - you guys have the Durango with 4WD. He should have used it. Refusing to use it is simply stubborn and pig-headed. But #2 - if his car isn't good for winter driving (RWD rarely is) then he needs to trade it in on something that works well in the winter. At least a front-wheel drive or AWD if possible.

I think the ultimatum needs to be get rid of the RWD and remember how badly it handles in the wintertime. We have at least five months of winter driving here - sometimes six months. A good vehicle is a must.

 

[lovemylife]

Hold up a sec...you KNEW he needed a new vehicle for winter but you veto'd it based on your hope that the winters would stay mild in Michigan? You must not be a Michigan native. The kind of winter we're having this year is typical. Lots of snow, lots of ice, lots of wind. That's Michigan. We've been spoiled the past few years and are now getting back to typical only worse: no money for salt and plows so the roads will be much worse than they used to be.

IMO nothing is more important than safety. #1 - you guys have the Durango with 4WD. He should have used it. Refusing to use it is simply stubborn and pig-headed. But #2 - if his car isn't good for winter driving (RWD rarely is) then he needs to trade it in on something that works well in the winter. At least a front-wheel drive or AWD if possible.

I think the ultimatum needs to be get rid of the RWD and remember how badly it handles in the wintertime. We have at least five months of winter driving here - sometimes six months. A good vehicle is a must.

No, we don't have a Durango. He wanted to buy a used one, but the one he wanted was sold on Friday night and the dealer has another one,but can't do anything until Monday when he gets out of work. I offered him my FWD car, but he refused and took his RWD. I knew that his car wasn't that great in the winter, but not to what extreme.

 

[luvmyboys]

I'm really sorry, but your husband is being a [edited due to inappropriate word on the DIS]. There are lots of things we really need, but unless you cut back spending in other areas, those things aren't going to get purchased. That's called "being an adult." Perhaps he should give it a try?

 

[lovemylife]

I hope your day gets better. I think this bad case of your DH's "I-wannas" is a symptom of other underlying issues, but best of luck to get everything straightened out.

agnes!

The issue is this: everybody that he works with has bigger and better than he has, bigger house, bigger cars, bigger and more expensive everything, also bigger CC Debt and major issues with money. We only have 3 years to go on our mortgage and my car then we are payment free. We pay our CC off every month because I am anal about that. It bugs him to a point that I do that, but he also likes that he is not in as much debt as everyone else. So he wants it both ways. BTW, all the guys he works with have wives that work FT and I am a SAHM because that is what worked for us.

 

[lovemylife]

I'm really sorry, but your husband is being a wanker. There are lots of things we really need, but unless you cut back spending in other areas, those things aren't going to get purchased. That's called "being an adult." Perhaps he should give it a try?

That is what I think, too. I said that if he cuts down on the spending, maybe it is possible in the next 3 yrs to get some of the things he wants