husband does want to go

[bnts1993]

I am so sad, I LOVE Disney and I have only been 1 time in my life. We have a trip booked for 11/28-12/4 with my husband and 3 kids. Well my husband does not have the same love for Disney and is not excited one bit. At least once a day he has to tell me how stupid it is that we are going and his list of reasons are a mile long like money, taking 15 year old out of school for a week, his Dad just past and we have to leave his Mom here alone, etc. today I said fine then I will just cancel ( I have it paid off already) it because I am sick of hearing about it but I really do not want to. My 11 year old will be very upset if I cancel and this would have been our first family vacation anywhere with just our family

 

[tlbwriter]

I'd sit him down and say "Honey, I understand you're not excited about WDW, but you agreed to go. If you didn't want to go, you should have said so at the time. The kids and I are very excited about this trip, and I'm really, really tired of hearing you complain about it. So please just suck it up this time for us, and keep the negativity to yourself, and then you get to pick out the next vacation."

 

[HS3kids]

I agree with PP- I would definitely Not cancel the trip!
IMO tell Dh that its not about him, its about the family- the kids and you are excited to go, and he needs to stop griping about it and deal with it. Or he can stay home and you and the kids will go without him- you dont need him ruining the trip for everyone, but tell him you would much rather have him come along and make wonderful family memories.

The first time my DH ever went to Disney (6 yrs ago) I told him that I had saved up, and was going to book the trip, and he would go and pretend to like it for the sake of the kids, or he could stay home and we would go without him. He went, grudgingly, and fell in love with WDW. By the time we were ready to go home he was asking when we could go back. (we are going back in 6 days! finally! yay!)

Has your DH ever been to the World before?

 

[princessmom29]

My response "grow up, get over it, and stop whining like a child. It's NOT all about YOU!"

 

[ilovejack02]

Leave him home and take his Mom ; )

 

[neodisneyfan]

I wouldn't take him. My DH has a love hate relationship with Disney so he only goes with us about every third year. the rest of the time I go alone with my DS and DD. It sounds like your kids are older so you dont need his help with toddlers so I would definately go it alone with my kids and NOT cancel.

 

[jodifla]

My response "grow up, get over it, and stop whining like a child. It's NOT all about YOU!"

Yeah, this!

I never understand when one family member can't just step back, take a deep breath and support other members of the family!

There are things my husband enjoys more than I do. But I don't pout and moan...I either don't go (think predawn fishing trips) or I go and learn to like something new, or at least enjoy him having a great time.

 

[bnts1993]

Thank you all for the great advice. He has been before in 09 when we went with my father. On the way home he said he couldn't wait to go back. Maybe he has just forgot how great it is ;-)

 

[danabalana]

I can see I'm not in the majority here, but....
Did you start planning this trip before or after his dad died?
Maybe he's depressed about his Dad??? Or feels guilty going to have fun while his mom is alone. A frank discussion is a good start. See if you can draw him out. Husbands have a hard time expressing their true feelings sometimes. My hubby wasn't the same for quite a while after his dad passed.

I hope it all works out for you

If last time was with his dad he might be afraid it will be too sad for him. My friend lost her mom last year and didn't want to go to DL with me because it would remind her too much of her last trip there with her mom.

 

[bnts1993]

Did you start planning this trip before or after his dad died?
Maybe he's depressed about his Dad??? Or feels guilty going to have fun while his mom is alone. A frank discussion is a good start. See if you can draw him out. Husbands have a hard time expressing their true feelings sometimes. My hubby wasn't the same for quite a while after his dad passed.

I hope it all works out for you

We started planning several months before his Dad dies and yes he is taking his Dads passing very hard and being the only child his Mom now has no one here. He is a yo-yo of emotions right now one minute he is sad then he is angry.

 

[Marionnette]

Its unfortunate that your husband has this attitude. My brother in law is the same way about anything that my sister wants to do but he doesnt. He made there only family trip to disney much less enjoyable than it should have been. I would not cancel the trip. But I would offer him the choice of opting out. It makes no sense to spend the money to make him miserable. And it doesnt make sense to allow his negativity to make everyone else miserable.

 

[dunbarfamily]

I'd sit him down and say "Honey, I understand you're not excited about WDW, but you agreed to go. If you didn't want to go, you should have said so at the time. The kids and I are very excited about this trip, and I'm really, really tired of hearing you complain about it. So please just suck it up this time for us, and keep the negativity to yourself, and then you get to pick out the next vacation."

Are you a counselor by trade?!? Very good advice! OP would be wise to accept this.

 

[RMulieri]

While I feel for his loss and his Mom...IT IS NOT HIS responsibility to take care of her.He needs to tend to his own familys' needs too.I would NOT cancel the trip.If he can't seem to get past his Dad and won't or can't go without being Mr negativity, I would go without him.I have done MANY trips without Dh since he is MR negative and finds fault with any type of vacation that doesn't include an xbox360.

 

[woodkins]

He is a grown up...let him decide if he wants to go but tell him you and the kids are going with our without him. My dh doesn't share our love of all things WDW. He goes on our 1x per year trip and will go again if his softball team plays a tourny in the ESPN zone complex, but that is it. I take my dd alone on trips any other time we want to go. I have done this since she was 3 years old and we have made many special memories with just the 2 of us. Your kids are old enough that you can easily manage the 3 of them on your own, so I say go on the trip and make tons of fun memories & if dh chooses not to go perhaps when he sees all the fun that he missed he will change his tune for the next time.

 

[cseca]

Leave him home and take his Mom ; )

hmm... what about take both of them?
Does his mom (or you guys) have the financial ability to add her to the trip?
If your DH is really concern about his mom being alone taking her on a trip might help.

 

[prattpak]

Leave him home and take his Mom ; )

This was the first thing that came to my mind when I started reading. Ask his Mother if she would like to go and see the joy in her Grandkids eyes. I dont care how old you are , you're an instant kid once you get there and it sounds like past experience your DH was too. He totally enjoyed himself last time you went. I understand the loss of a parent I lost my Mom at 50yo from cancer. One of the best ways to get your mind off of things (no matter how temporary) is to get away from it all. Is it finacially feasable to add mom to your rooms? That way she/ he doesnt have to stay home and mope. Best of luck!!! We leave in 68 days!!

 

[pixidustmom]

I understand. My DH is like this too. He really isn't into at all, but does tend to come around now and again. He says no more Disney trips. I disagree. So I have gone with out him and I have to say it's been the best time. He is usually a downer anyways.
I say if your DH doesn't want to go and you don't want to go alone. Just send me an email I'll take his place.lol I am great with kids.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[wbarkhur]

I have to agree with the other posters about talking to him. My DH was not wanting to go, and was making negative comments about it. I finally asked him what was going on, and he admitted that he was feeling resentful because he had not been involved in all the planning (I planned it all as a suprise for the kids they know we are going but not what we are doing). We talked and I shared the plans with him, and we talked about adding a few things he would like to do. I know that there is a lot of things going on in your house right now so it probably isn't the same situation, but just thought I would share in case it could help. Good luck and I hope that no matter what happens you can all find some peace with it.

 

[newbydisney]

Seriously?..I would leave him home with a long list of honey-dos...he may need a little time right now...